ADash and Addy

[American Dash]

Thursday, October 4th

 

I’m on week five of forcing and am finally getting my act together on a progress log. I don’t want this to turn into a forty page descent into madness and ranting, but I want a little more substance than “ Tuesday: Forced again today. Fun fun.”

I force every day before bed and sometimes when I’m on break, so I’m not going to post useless filler updates. Instead, I’ll update when noteworthy progress is made, or something interesting happens at work or elsewhere in my life.

 

Here’s a short description of my tulpa.

Addy is a female pony

another pony tulpa. Original, no?

with a sandy tan coat, dark brown maneand tail, and ice blue eyes. When I began visualizing her I started with an unnamed Rainbow Dash, but she quickly deviated thanks to either my subconscious or her own will. I don’t know which is responsible (or how much difference there is between the two in early stages of creation), but I accepted most of the deviations that persisted. Some deviations I denied, like the horn that occasionally appeared, and others I decided to meet her halfway. She started walking upright with an anthro form similar to this, but I liked her pony form better so I gave her the option to shift between the two. She spends most of her time in pony form, except when an anthro form behooves her. Or DE-hooves her. Ha!

 

Hopefully I can keep this log enjoyable to read with Addy’s progress and if anything interesting (possible) or particularly stupid (guaranteed) happens at work in the U.S. Army.

 

Thanks for reading,

American Dash

[American Dash]

Here are a few short posts I wrote on things that happened in the last week before my progress log was ready.

 

Thursday, September 27th

I give a lot of “classes” to my tulpa on what things are like and how they work in the real world, such as automobiles, my job, my hometown, and so on. It’s a great form of narration and I highly recommend you try it out with your tulpa. Anyway, I wanted to have a class on firearms so I forced a shooting range with some M16’s and pistols in wonderland. I was showing Addy how they work, and, in anthro form, she picked up a rifle and curiously waved it around a bit. She pointed it at me and I pushed it aside saying, “Don’t do that! Do you want to see what happens when I get shot in the face in my own wonderland?” She glanced between me and the rifle she still held for a few silent moments.

“…maybe?”

I laughed out loud at that, something Addy’s never made me do before. Of course, I know nothing bad would happen to me but still, I don’t want to walk around wonderland shooting myself in the face all day long.

 

Monday, October 1st

Today I let Addy speak on IRC chat for the first time by showing her what the other members were saying and typing out her responses. I was nervous about putting her on there since she doesn’t always answer me very well when I talk to her and she mostly uses short sentences when she does. She did very well and spoke a little with some of the other tulpae before the chat was derailed, which happens pretty reliably to the tulpa channels.

 

Tuesday, October 2nd

I have a problem I think is common among a lot of tulpa creators: Doubting what my tulpa says to be genuine. When I’m with her in wonderland and she says something to me, I sometimes reply with “Do you really think that?” or something to that effect, and she looks at me, annoyed, and repeats what she just said. I did that today while we were in wonderland, and it really pissed her off this time. She got right up to my face and almost yelled “What do I have to do for you to believe it’s me?” I said, “say something I’m not expecting” and almost as soon as that thought had finished forming in my head, she said something really vulgar that I’m not going to repeat here. It was so sudden, so clear, and so far away from anything I’d been thinking at the time it gave me chills. I’ve been able to stop nearly all my second-guessing and I think we’ll both be happier for it.

 

ADash

[JoJo]

Interesting idea to give your Tulpa lessons in how things work, I've got to try that with mine, I've often been stuck on the few bits of narration I've done so far with what to say to her. Sounds like you're a lot further than I am so keep up the good forcing ;-)

[American Dash]

Wednesday, October 3th

Today, my battalion had a “cultural day” in the city of Rothberg. We loaded up into busses and took off for six hours of self-directed exploration of German culture dressed in civilian clothes and happy to have a day off from work. Of course, “German Culture” for some people translates to “German Beer”, and when our commander told us we were allowed to drink, a few people took it as an invitation to share some American culture with the Germans. That is, walking through the streets with Jaeger and beer in hand yelling “WOOOOOO!! ICH LIEBE DEUTSCHLAND!!” to anyone who cared to listen, and many who did not. Thankfully they were the (very) loud minority and everyone else got to explore the castles, churches, and museums.

As soon as we got back on post I had a CQ shift, which means I sit at a desk all night and do whatever I want to avoid falling asleep. That includes playing Black Mesa, writing a log update at four in the morning, and angling my chair away from the other person on shift with a book propped open to a random page in front of me. With my eyes closed. Definitely not forcing!

 

ADash

 

P.S. Thanks JoJo, good luck with your tulpa!

[American Dash]

Monday, October 15th

It's getting easier to talk to Addy outside of dedicated forcing sessions, such as when I'm walking or doing an uncomplicated task. Her responses and opinions on some subjects are becoming more distinct from my own, which I'm really excited about. It means conversations with her are getting more complex and interesting (and fun!) since we're having a lot less "I like X." "Yeah, me too." type banter.

I'm trying to imagine her presence behind me during the day, but I'm usually focused on work or socializing, so I'm having trouble actively keeping her around with me.

I have another mission coming up, and I'll probably have plenty of downtime for forcing, like I did on the last one.

 

Thanks for reading!

ADash

[American Dash]

Tuesday, October 30th

The last two weeks have been really busy! I was working for three days straight from six in the morning to midnight out in the field, and worked fourteen-hour days since we got back. Besides the three days in the field, I've taken time to force everyday and have been making some more progress with Addy.

She told me to wake up when I was lying in bed half awake the other day, which is great since I usually have to initiate communication. Later that same day I heard her in my mind while I was narrating, which is the first time she spoken simultaneously with me.

Her presence feels much stronger around me lately, no doubt thanks to my focus on visualization and concentrating on her throughout the day.

 

As always, thanks for reading!

ADash

[American Dash]

Wednesday, November 7th

 

Yesterday I was sitting in a Humvee and talking to Addy when I saw something out of the corner of my eye the same color as Addy's coat (light tan) in the passenger seat. I kept it there for a few seconds but when I tried to look directly at it, it disappeared. There wasn't anything of that color in the cabin and I couldn't duplicate seeing it. I asked Addy about it and she confirmed it was her trying to impose herself. This is the first glimpse I've gotten of her in the physical world!

 

On top of that, she continues to get better at conversation. I talk to her a lot more during the day, and I've started turning off the music I usually have on while I'm visualizing so I can talk to her at the same time.

 

The progress in unexpected directions is really exciting and I can't wait to see what comes next!

 

ADash

[American Dash]

Tuesday, November 13th

 

After seeing Addy in the real world for the first time, I'm doing less visualization work and moving to some more advanced things like imposition, body switching (in the wonderland), and possession.

 

We both really enjoyed body switching. My wonderland is a large white house on a hill surrounded by meadow, with forest bordering three sides and the ocean on the other, and I really enjoyed exploring it in her body. The weird thing was that I spent the whole time hanging out with, well, myself since we'd switched bodies. I'll definitely do it more often in the future, it's great to have a new perspective when we're exploring!

 

As for possession, I tried it the first time last night. I laid out with my right hand palm down on my bed and let myself get completely relaxed. I let Addy have control over my whole body, but since it was our first time trying possession I told her just to try moving my right index finger. It was really bizarre; I really felt different after allowing her to have control, even though she hadn't done anything yet. Anyway, for some reason, she found it easier to move my thumb, so she focused on moving it while I offered encouragement. After about a minute of encouragement, which went something like this...

"Comeonyoucandoitmovethefingerfocusfocusfocusyoucandoitcomeongo"

...And her intense focus (It was strange, I could feel her focusing), she moved my thumb about a centimeter.

It may not sound like much, but I was really happy for her since it showed us both that it's possible and something that she can do. We've made quick progress in other things we've tried, so I'm really looking forward to what she'll be capable of in two week's time working on possession every day.

 

I'll write more after I've gone deeper into possession. As always, thanks for reading!

ADash