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Anyone have experience with plural spaces?


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I'm attending a hypnosis conference this weekend, and they're putting together a special session for plural attendees. I'm curious and will probably stop in.

 

Does anyone have any experience with contact with the larger plural community?

 

I'm interested to know how often you've encountered marginalization toward those of us whose plurality is exclusively tulpagenic. Is that even a thing? Or does the community tend not to care how we got this way?

 

Are there any faux pas I should avoid, given that I have exactly zero experience in plural spaces?

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(edited)
7 hours ago, Ashley said:

Yes, be prepared to trigger the DID systems. They will likely never accept us.

Lol'd. Fate sure has a nice way of separating us from the majority of volatile individuals... Or maybe they did that for us

 

13 hours ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

does the community tend not to care how we got this way?

Most hold the belief that it invalidates their own origin for plurality, or that we're essentially messing with the phenomena in the name of selfishness. The second one is understandable, at least for many initial reasons for creating a tulpa

 

The first example I don't have much to say about simply because I don't know all too much, admittedly. It's been tossed around a good amount of times, and I can see where those people are coming from, I guess

 

Regardless, I'm sure you can find some good people in other communities, as there tends to be a few. You really have to get lucky with acceptance, though. Most times there's nothing you can really do other than to take a step back, but maybe acceptance can be gradually built up with a good amount of convincing, whatever fits the scenario.

 

13 hours ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

Are there any faux pas I should avoid

Don't feed them too much right away, start arbitrary until they ask more questions, keep things relevant, clear up misconceptions. Nothing you haven't already seen with introducing a potentially-stigmatized topic. On that note, be sure to keep it unbiased so that you don't seem zealous to them, or leaning to one side of the spectrum at the very least.

 

Keep me updated on the hypnosis conference, I'm intrigued to find out more.

Edited by ringgggg

D-prime is shrinking as we speak.

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15 hours ago, Ashley said:

Yes, be prepared to trigger the DID systems. They will likely never accept us.

😟

I feared this is the case. I sort of get it. Here we are voluntarily choosing a condition that they are finding distressing. Still, it's super sad that folks can't learn from one another.

 

8 hours ago, ringgggg said:

Don't feed them too much right away, start arbitrary until they ask more questions, keep things relevant, clear up misconceptions. Nothing you haven't already seen with introducing a potentially-stigmatized topic. On that note, be sure to keep it unbiased so that you don't seem zealous to them, or leaning to one side of the spectrum at the very least.

 

This sounds like good advice. I wish it didn't have to be that way, that we all could just be ourselves. I certainly wouldn't engage in zeal in their presence. I appreciate the suggestions.

 

8 hours ago, ringgggg said:

Keep me updated on the hypnosis conference, I'm intrigued to find out more.

 

Starts today. https://charmedhypno.org/. Might not be too late to register for the virtual sessions. (Though be aware that it's mostly a hypnokink conference).

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It's not strange to me that people with Dissociative Identity Disorder do not want to entertain people with tulpas and the like. We don't want to offend anyone with analogies... but people should not have to give up their special support just to be friendly to outsiders with some shared interest.

🐍Typhon (tulpa) & Echidna (host)🐉

Two in me, we can see who we are

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(edited)

I would also ask this question on r/plural (a subreddit on Reddit.com). They are accepting of tulpa systems. Ask specifically for responses from DID systems if you want!

 

DID systems do accept us. I've seen them be supportive even outside specifically endogenic friendly spaces. If you have been disillusioned by anti-endogenic spaces online, remember that these are *online* spaces. They tend to feel more prominent than they are. People are more accepting outside of these spaces, including offline, in my experience.

 

Endogenic sometimes includes tulpamancy.

 

It is best not to call DID systems volatile. It has a negative connotation imo. I also wouldn't call plurality a "shared interest".

Edited by ruleofthumb

Someday

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6 hours ago, ruleofthumb said:

I would also ask this question on r/plural (a subreddit on Reddit.com). They are accepting of tulpa systems. Ask specifically for responses from DID systems if you want!

 

DID systems do accept us. I've seen them be supportive even outside specifically endogenic friendly spaces. If you have been disillusioned by anti-endogenic spaces online, remember that these are *online* spaces. They tend to feel more prominent than they are. People are more accepting outside of these spaces, including offline, in my experience.

Thank you for the reference. I had been looking for an online space where I can connect with other plural folks. I appreciate your suggestion.

 

6 hours ago, ruleofthumb said:

It is best not to call DID systems volatile.

I agree. It seems like something of a negative stereotype. I've known a few folks with DID IRL and I haven't noticed their being any more volatile than anyone else.

 

7 hours ago, ruleofthumb said:

I also wouldn't call plurality a "shared interest".

 

I supposed plurality could be considered a shared interest in that when you're plural, you're likely "interested" in having the best plural life you can have. Learning about how other plural people are doing this, even if they're plurality doesn't have the exact same parameters as mine, is one way I can come across ideas that apply to my own experience, right?

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So, here's how it turned out.

 

The session for plural attendees happened as expected. Although it was a discussion, con rules required that someone sign on as a "teacher". The system that original was going to do it decided to do something else during that time, so I ended up being listed as the teacher. That gave me the advantage of setting the session rules (everyone welcome if you think you should be in a plural space, no questions asked). All told there were about eight plural people and a couple curious folks whom we let sit in.

 

We ended up talking for two and a half hours, though some people came in after it started and a few people left early, so we typically had about six people at any given time. I didn't mention tulpamancy, simply said I had newly discovered my plural identity. There were a couple people there with DID and a few others who were managing their plural system well without a psyche diagnosis.

 

It was the most loving, supportive, honest space in the whole con. 😁Everyone was thrilled to answer everyone else's questions. I don't know how much  I learned, but it was great hearing in person from people who were actually living as plural systems, and hear the various ways they handle fronting, mediate disputes between headmates, and how each member of their system contributes to their well being.

 

I did not tell them that I had created Lavender as a tulpa. My story (largely true) was that I have always been in the habit of talking to someone else as if there were someone there listening and a friend who knew something about plural identities mentioned that it might be possible to ask who is there. When I began listening to Lavender, she began telling me all about herself pretty much immediately. That story is the truth, but omits that between the two events, I had read up on tulpamancy and decided to create a tulpa.

 

Some interesting takeaways:

* Not everyone had loving headmates like Lavender. Some people had headmates that were downright hostile, reportedly because they had borne the brunt of past trauma. 

* One attendee had as many as 20 headmates. They said that they never knew who was fronting at any given time and it wasn't especially important them who it was. Another had only two.

* One of them had a tulpa that the system had created to handle some task that none of them seemed well suited for. That was the only time the word "tulpa" was mentioned and it wasn't by me. Everyone accepted it, no one had a problem with it.

* They were very impressed with my description of Lavender as someone who was "made of pure love." Lavender beamed internally when they said they liked it.

 

Thank you all for your encouragement and suggestions.

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Glad it turned out so well. It truly is incredible seeing how much positivity and connection can exist when you’re interacting with people outside of Internet bubbles. At the end of the day, even among those with DID or other dissociative disorders, there’s a range of experiences and often no two systems are alike. And I’m of the opinion that the best plural life is one that learns from a wide range of others’ experiences and shares with others (like the system you mentioned that presumably had DID but created a tulpa for something they couldn’t handle) so it’s really cool that it happened in that event.

Lio (he/it) | Joshua (he/him) Crow/Goro (he/him) | Rayne (fae/they)

 Andy (he/him) | Kravitz (they/he) | Meis (she/her) | Loki (it/its)

 Lith (he/him) | Odd (he/him)  Koha’to (he/they) | Haurche (he/him)

Tetsu (he/him) | Minerva (she/her) |  Zacharie (they/he/it) | Devo (he/it)

Neku (he/him) Beat (he/him)

...And maybe more?

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Yes, we're also glad to hear of the good experience. 

 

On 1/14/2024 at 6:07 AM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

I supposed plurality could be considered a shared interest in that when you're plural, you're likely "interested" in having the best plural life you can have.

Yes, that is the way I meant it, an abiding concern in life. I still stand by the fact that people in certain groups have the right to choose who to include and exclude especially when it comes to support groups for challenging conditions. But in other contexts it is great to meet as many different perspectives as possible 🙂 

 

 

🐍Typhon (tulpa) & Echidna (host)🐉

Two in me, we can see who we are

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