Anyone have experience with plural spaces?

[ringgggg]

2 hours ago, 2serpents said:

in other contexts it is great to meet as many different perspectives as possible

Yeah. The “out there” points of view, especially. They’re a breath of fresh air from what we’re used to hearing

[ringgggg]

On 1/13/2024 at 11:05 PM, ruleofthumb said:

DID systems do accept us. I've seen them be supportive even outside specifically endogenic friendly spaces. If you have been disillusioned by anti-endogenic spaces online, remember that these are *online* spaces. They tend to feel more prominent than they are. People are more accepting outside of these spaces, including offline, in my experience.

Of course, I’m sure the majority of them are pretty chill. It is just an opinion, after all

 

I just used the word volatile to stay ambiguous, but people are gonna do what they’re gonna do and I’m not about to point fingers here. I’m chill with anyone regardless

[Stardog System]

yea, we've been in a few plural spaces. some people will be  chill about it, but the vast majority of people won't. that's just how it is.

i'd just be cautious and dont reveal too much immediately

[The Incans]

On 1/10/2024 at 2:34 PM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

I'm attending a hypnosis conference this weekend, and they're putting together a special session for plural attendees. I'm curious and will probably stop in.

 

Does anyone have any experience with contact with the larger plural community?

 

I'm interested to know how often you've encountered marginalization toward those of us whose plurality is exclusively tulpagenic. Is that even a thing? Or does the community tend not to care how we got this way?

 

Are there any faux pas I should avoid, given that I have exactly zero experience in plural spaces?

 

I started on DID board purely by chance I had joined because they had an autism section but it wasn't very active ....browsing around on other forums someone had described stuff that felt really familiar to me and they had been directed to the DID board so I followed the link. At this point I wasn't sure if my 'others' were autistic social masks and I was just better at imagination and role play than other autistic people or what.  At the time I was thinking along the lines of 'Maladaptive Daydreaming' . I couldn't remember any severe trauma though have no memory of the first 7 years of my life. 

 

It was many years later when I discovered the word 'Tulpa' so set out trying to research the difference. It was hard to tell at first but as my 'other versions of me' began re-integrating (think they were triggered by severe mood swings from peri-menopause) the only ones left are the Tulpa's that aren't versions of me. A couple are 'walk-ins' and some I (and now Lena) started working on from scratch on the inside. 

 

I found the DID board did not like or believe in Tulpa, they try to convince you it can still be an alter even if its not a version of you, then found my posts tend to get 'politely ignored' after I reached the point I was absolutely sure of the difference and the trauma related ones were re-integrating.

 

There is one group on FB that welcomes all forms of plurality and there's also a Tulpamancy group that also incidentally has many who also have DID, OSDD and/or Autism.

 

I find 'medical boards' though tend to have the mindset that you should be there with a view to wanting to recover from your illness or willing to do or believe anything so you 'fit in' with the Neurotypical world. If you seem to be 'enjoying your plurality' too much then in thier minds you're not traumatised enough so its not OSDD/DID.. I think one of the criteria for dx is actually that the dissociation causes distress. 

 

Now I've reached the end of peri the (mostly) teen parts that got re-triggered (last time I had so many was through puberty too) have re-integrated. There's just me Lena & Jess at the front now and a small family of Tulpa's on the inside that Lena has been creating as her 'inner world family' with a couple of changeling playmates for Jess.

[The Incans]

On 1/15/2024 at 1:30 AM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

So, here's how it turned out.

 

The session for plural attendees happened as expected. Although it was a discussion, con rules required that someone sign on as a "teacher". The system that original was going to do it decided to do something else during that time, so I ended up being listed as the teacher. That gave me the advantage of setting the session rules (everyone welcome if you think you should be in a plural space, no questions asked). All told there were about eight plural people and a couple curious folks whom we let sit in.

 

We ended up talking for two and a half hours, though some people came in after it started and a few people left early, so we typically had about six people at any given time. I didn't mention tulpamancy, simply said I had newly discovered my plural identity. There were a couple people there with DID and a few others who were managing their plural system well without a psyche diagnosis.

 

It was the most loving, supportive, honest space in the whole con. 😁Everyone was thrilled to answer everyone else's questions. I don't know how much  I learned, but it was great hearing in person from people who were actually living as plural systems, and hear the various ways they handle fronting, mediate disputes between headmates, and how each member of their system contributes to their well being.

 

I did not tell them that I had created Lavender as a tulpa. My story (largely true) was that I have always been in the habit of talking to someone else as if there were someone there listening and a friend who knew something about plural identities mentioned that it might be possible to ask who is there. When I began listening to Lavender, she began telling me all about herself pretty much immediately. That story is the truth, but omits that between the two events, I had read up on tulpamancy and decided to create a tulpa.

 

Some interesting takeaways:

* Not everyone had loving headmates like Lavender. Some people had headmates that were downright hostile, reportedly because they had borne the brunt of past trauma. 

* One attendee had as many as 20 headmates. They said that they never knew who was fronting at any given time and it wasn't especially important them who it was. Another had only two.

* One of them had a tulpa that the system had created to handle some task that none of them seemed well suited for. That was the only time the word "tulpa" was mentioned and it wasn't by me. Everyone accepted it, no one had a problem with it.

* They were very impressed with my description of Lavender as someone who was "made of pure love." Lavender beamed internally when they said they liked it.

 

Thank you all for your encouragement and suggestions.

That sounds really interesting!

 

I'm not sure if I had DID or woulld get a diagnosis but I know I am autistic and have always had an ability to dissociate on an intense level ..as a child it was due to severe sound sensitivity and hating the school environment. 

I had what were kind of like social masks in that they only came out to deal with social situations but they only came out one at once and there was no communication between them....this was the 70's and 80's ...people didnt even know girls could be autistic let alone know DID existed in the small village community I grew up in!

 

My first deliberate Tulpa came after my mum died...  I didn't really understand death but my mum had cancer so she knew it was coming so had told me I could still talk to her..if i just went into my bedrooom and drew the curtains (so no-one outside could see and would make fun of me) and she'd be listening...she also believed in reincarnation and of course me being autisitc I took this all very literally! 

 

It started with me talking to her photograph and pretending she was watching TV with me in bed at night. of course having known her as a real person for the first 21 years of my life I had a fair idea of what her typical answers to most things would be. ,,then one of my social masks became her ..I had added her name to mine as a 'middle name' in memory of her so when I went away to unviersity I just told people I used my middle name. She hadn't been autistic and had spent my life teaching me how to behave 'more normally' (Neurotypically) in public ..it didn't take long for her to 'become alive' as a seperate 'social mask' and being naturally dissociative in those situations it was easy for me to see her as seperate.

 

Once time quite by coincidence we were watching TV together when a program came on about conjoined twins who shared half the body each (one arm/one leg each..though they had their own seperate heads obviously). by this time I had found an old photo of my mum at 15 and next to a photo of myself at same age we of course (as mother and daughter) looked very similar...... she then started to change in my mind to same age as me so we became more like twins than mother/daughter.  She now calls herself Lena and has been my Tulpa for over 30 years.

 

Tinks also didin't exist until after my dog died after being my assistance dog and by my side 15 years I was beyond devasted and not coping well despite having another dog that still needed me. Lena suggested why didn't we create a Tulpa based on her taking our memories of her life and make her a changeling so she could eventually choose her own form as she developed. ..so Tinks has been a Tulpa in our system for 8 years.

 

Strangely having Tulpa as well as helped my social mask alters ...as though they all split and resurfaced again during peri menopause years they have now re-integrated again partly because Lena told them all we were all 'her daughter/her twin and to Tinks 'all version of me' were her owner in her past life as my dog....now there's only me (natal soul/host), Lena & Tinks. ..It's actually been therapeutic for us!

 

sorry that was way longer than I intended...well done if you made it to the end!