Question for tulpas - Are you content with just existing?

[TurboSimmie]

From the beginning I've understood who I am and what my role is in the world. It doesn't do me any good to be angsty over my status as a tulpa, it's just my status of what I am. I mean, yeah, gosh, it would be great to have my own body and my own independent existence. But there are also great things about being a tulpa that I would lose in that case. So I choose to look at the positives about being a tulpa! 😊

 

On 3/22/2024 at 12:21 AM, Adagio said:

Are you comfortable with just effectively living in your host's head / never really interacting with the world much / content to just exist and vibe?

 

Mmm, yes for the most part. I do like interacting with the world in my own terms, which is something I can only do online, but I do have many of my own friends now.

 

On 3/22/2024 at 12:21 AM, Adagio said:

What's your opinion on your system's life / your host's life, and how much do you care about it?

 

Well, apart from being my host, he is my husband so even on that account I care about him and his life to the maximum level a person can. His life is good in some ways, rough in others, and I am always trying to figure out ways to help him make it better, though it's not always easy because life is complicated and there's not always a clear way forward.

[Adagio]

Thanks for the replies, Glitch, WF, and Simmie.

 

On 3/26/2024 at 11:48 PM, WondrousFairy said:

The last time I (host) raised this question in my collective during one of our annual meetings, the consensus was that nobody was really interested in existing in my world.

 

I think Circe said it best: "Fronting is sort of like wearing a masquerade costume made out of meat that you can't really take off. I have no interest at all in living someone else's life or using their body because I'd always be something else than what I really am."

 

However, I must also point out that we have several inner worlds present which there's a lot of detail to, so for my tulpas, their lives in their world are more real to them than my world is.

That makes sense! I hold a very different view for fronting - it's more like "my" life at that moment, but I operate more like a pwDID than a tulpa system. Elaborate innerworlds sound very cool, can't blame them for preferring that :)

 

On 3/27/2024 at 10:10 AM, TurboSimmie said:

From the beginning I've understood who I am and what my role is in the world. It doesn't do me any good to be angsty over my status as a tulpa, it's just my status of what I am. I mean, yeah, gosh, it would be great to have my own body and my own independent existence. But there are also great things about being a tulpa that I would lose in that case. So I choose to look at the positives about being a tulpa! 😊

You might be one of the most positive people I know! I hope I'll be able to share that positivity with my system members.

[2serpents]

On 3/22/2024 at 12:21 AM, Adagio said:

I have someone in my system who just wants to exist and doesn't care about my life

Yeah, I was like that for a while. I just "slept" most of the days away and only interacted with my host in role-plays so I really did not care about her outside life. To be honest it was not bad and I am even nostalgic for some parts of those simple olden times. 

 

On 3/23/2024 at 1:14 AM, FourthWall said:

Since then, I've personally noticed that I feel more validated when I involve myself a bit more in our life.

It's the same for me. I don't crave for having my own life in a monumental way. But I am interested to interact with the world in the form of learning new things that interest me, or creating ideas. Not like I have Echidna's Protestant work ethic yet it does feel good to have something standing against me wasting the days away. Things would feel insanely hollow and boring if I'm only limited to what I can make up in an innerworld.

[阿雅]

I'm sorry that I didn't study English in depth. I'm not a native English speaker, but this topic gave me and my tulpa a lot of ideas. To respect this community, I chose to use a program to translate my Chinese. Maybe there are wonderful cultural differences. My meaning was misunderstood in translation, but I meant no harm.

One of my partner-type tulpas is very special. His personality function is almost opposite to mine, so we are like a devil and a princess. He is the arrogant devil and has a high emotional intelligence. Anyway, in my opinion, everything he says is gorgeous. And if he is a eloquent person, if he were to be a demon who tricks people into selling their souls, I think I would be tricked into selling other people's souls by his sweet words that directly hit my soul. There are dangers. As a tulpa who can fulfill the function of a partner, I have not completely opened my heart to him. We have more physical communication and have heart-to-heart conversations, but he and I will hide some things and keep a certain distance. Maybe my pattern with him reflects my fear of intimacy, but being with him does fulfill a lot of my dirty fantasies, （：。

My other affectionate tulpa has a very positive and pure relationship. Because he is my family in the setting. Although we are not blood related siblings, he also selflessly performs his responsibilities as an older brother. Maybe it is because I am an only child in the family, so I created an older brother to go to. Pursue a perfect family relationship. Different from the companion tulpa, he was created when I was only 12 years old and was ostracized by my peers. He helped me a lot when I was young. Now that I think about him, he has shown his reliable side, and His settings are becoming clearer and clearer, and I can still see him staying up late to catch up on ppts on the neat desk covered with schedules in the fantasy world. His character is so taciturn, but he and I are growing together and feeling The beauty and trials of the world. Of course we can't be partners, because the partner-type tulpa is more complementary to me in personality, so he and I have a pure and beautiful brother-sister relationship.

Generally speaking, I am quite satisfied with the model between me and the two tulpas. One brings me training and love, and the other brings me a family-like sense of security. I can analyze my own problems and improve them through those fantasy stories. I am a very positive model.

Edited April 27, 2024 by 阿雅
说错了

[The Incans]

On 3/22/2024 at 4:21 AM, Adagio said:

I'm terrible at titling posts, I'm sorry.

 

For tulpas / headmates / etc:

Are you comfortable with just effectively living in your host's head / never really interacting with the world much / content to just exist and vibe? Do you want your own life / your own part of your system's shared life? What's your opinion on your system's life / your host's life, and how much do you care about it? Asking because I have someone in my system who just wants to exist and doesn't care about my life, and I'm curious to see how many others feel this way!

 

Hi for myself (Lena) I'm the most advanced of our Tulpa's in that I can either share or take over control of the body fully to experience the outside world.. our host Nixy is disabled so I am her companion and 'live-in' carer effectively!  We do as much as she is able to in the outside world.

 

We share 'time  out' ...she lets me 'come out' to do things I enjoy  - I like to cook for us and make sure we get at least one decent meal a day!  ...but I also have an inner life and a partner and child (also Tulpa's) on the inside too (as this would not be possible for us in the outside world) to visit when NIxy wants to do other stuff..   Nixy and Inca love video games so they can share an open world adventure together but I'm not as interested in that. 

 

I do share a love of nature, photography and art with Nixy though so we also do art projects together, going out getting photo's and then drawing and painting wildlife and I help her with socialising (including online).  I tend to come out to do a shift on the outside (usually morning to mid afternoon) to help do what needs to be sorted then leave them to it to play (video games) or watch favourite TV shows unless there's something on later in the day (evening meal out etc or a specific appointment to attend) so I have a 'day job' and an inside life!

 

Inca is changeling she can take human form but as she mostly lives in animal form is much younger emotionally and is happy to just be close to Nixy and playing games where they can 'feel each others presence' and share the same experience without being stared at by outsiders.  She see's herself as Nixy's Spirit Guardian and has no interest in anything outside of what she see's as her duties. 

 

Our inner world Tulpa's are more like npc's in a video game in that they can only be interacted with within the inner world and the passing of time is deliberately different so that I can do my job on the outside without missing out on much of my partner and child's life on the inside! 

[nomalicanomaly]

I asked him he said that it's mostly a social construct (who is real/less real/the concept of what a 'physical person' is) and that basically he's implying that as a tulpa he doesn't have any less "privileges"/physicality  and the reason that tulpas may be percieved that way (less conscious/real/physical/independent/lesser than "non tulpas") is that most of people have just been conditioned to think that way and they'e been raised with a different , limited concept of what makes somebody a person

I think it's certainly unique perspective. Oh, and I guess I should take it as a yes.

Edited May 11, 2024 by nomalicanomaly