The begining of a beatiful friendship

[Bazil]

Why hello there gentleman i am glad to be a part of this wonderful community and without further ado i shall initiate my wall of text.

 

I am a young man of the age of 19 and since i was an early teen i have suffered from sleep paralysis and bizzare dreams. The sleep disorder comes upon me when i am sleep deprived but the dreams come almost every night and i can remember them most vividly. Hell yesterday i got sleep paralyzed and thought my uncle was trying to strangle me from the backseet of a car a la the godfather. I tryed lucid dreaming but the problem i found was that i never question my circumstances as its not part of my personality. Zombie apocalypse? Best head to greenland. Whats that? The fat kid whos house i broke into is trying to kill me? Quick grab as much booze as you can and run. So now rather than have adventures in my subconcience reality id like to bring a figure from my subconcience into my reality. Id known about tulpas a couple years back but was scared to try it cause of fightclub, the creepypasta, and because my subconcience was always trying to kill me in my sleep. But after waking up and seeing a demon in my hotel room, shudering vibrating and twitching in the corner, dying from sunlight exposure and fading into nothingness i decided hey, if i can see this kinda shit without even trying then surely its possible to create a FRIENDLY hallucination? And so it begins.

 

Now the name of the tulpa is dorian, based on the character dorian grey from the league of extraordinary gentleman, his personality is a mesh of characters that i like. He is to be my companion and act as my conscience. Im kind of stupid and clumsy so i think this would be a good way to bring balance.Now if you guys could answer a few questions before i get too far into this id apreciate it.

 

1: when tulpaforcing i imagine things they come out like camera flashes lasting only for a few seconds and then fading but i figure that if i can keep flashing the same image then itl play out in my mind like a film. Is that how it works?

 

2: when narating do you refer to youself as a person or as a "we" like. "Im going to the park" or "come let us go to the park" or "we are going to the park".

 

3: well to be honest i forgot what the other questions were ( im also terribly forgetfull and i hope he will help me with this) but im sure ill remember them as i go along.

 

H-here i go. [/size][/font]

[Bazil]

Welp ive been tulpa forcing for over a week now last nights tulpa forcing wasnt very eventful. I think i might have fosed off at some points but i think i got about an hours worth done. Felt a very warm sensation come over me at one point and when i tryed to picture his vest in my mind it keeps showing up as brown instead of grey and i cant seem to get his lapels straight... Is this the deviation people was talking about? Also remembered my other questions.

 

3:I get a tingly feeling all over and numbness when i sit still and close your eyes after about 15 minutes

 

4:Also when personality forcing can you explain a trait by puting a tulpa in a story or scenario where they act out that trait? Like for example when i said manipulative. After describing it. I put him in a story in witch he befriends a rather unpopular boy and then shapes him in his image to use him as a social spy/pawn or to generally be at his beck and call a la assasins creed brotherhood.

 

I already have a general idea of his personality though so i think getting his form correct is most important. Still i cant help but feel as if im doing everything wrong.

[Bazil]

Welp last nights session was just as bad as before... Not much to talk about sorry if theese aint interesting... Perhaps ill tell you guys about my dreams... Tgeyre interesting to me at least. Maybe i can tell them to dorian too?

 

Dream 6: there i was at the chandleresque mall chasing my good friend john through a giant sport section when i tackled him into a rack of sports crap ( basketballs n such ). We lifted the rack off ouselves and decided it was time to leave when a black store manager came to acost me, asking for my information and such to have me pay for damages. I the started to complain about neck pain and asking how secure them sports racks were and asking him to call an ambulance. His fear of a lawsuit outweighing his anger he just said just leave and dont come back. I said yes as i shambled towards the exit and then went back to my stride and grinned as i headed for ny car.. But i was quite nausiated and then it overtook me and i blacked out. Later i woke up in a strange apartment from being poked in the ribs with a screw driver from an emo my age i was bound and gaged and Greeted by four people. A guy in his late twentys with a cockneye accent and wearing a grey sweater and jeans, the guy my age that looked 2dark/edgy4me punk,And a mid teens kid in greaser gear and a snotty voice. There was also a girl who couldnt have been older than 14... They basically told me that they kidnapped me and that they were gonna hold me hostage until my people payed a ransom. Over the course of the three days i stayed and through the beatings and torture i learned what they did for a living. The 3 guys would go out and break into peoples homes and then steal as much as they could carry and peddle it out downtown. The house was filled with crap.The emo guy and the girl would stay and watch me while man and kid would go out on the town. Often times the emo would just stand over the top of me and poke me, usually waiting till id dose off telling me how he was hoping that they wouldnt pay so that he could stick me and watch me bleed to death. The girl would feed me microwaved soup. Quoet and timid she was. The 4th day they came back and said my people went against the rules and got the cops involved. They picked me up and took me into the bathroom Where they were gonna kill me as it was easiest to clean up in there. They tied me to the toilet and took off the gag as the sadist emo proceded to drive the head off me. I was gonna die here and there was nothing i could do to save myself. I closed my eyes and silently prayed for a way out. Just anythi- and out of the corner of my pulverised eye i seen it. Creatine monohydrate. Preached to be of the same formula in the tonic of dr. Jekyl himself. It bestows upon its injester popeye strength and the wrath of a muslim. "Wha are you looking at". "whats this" said the chav. "Oh thats somthin i snagged from the last guys house" " sposed ta be some kinda body builder, thought id take some for myself" said the greaser kid as he flexed in the mirror.

"Well its pure shit" i said. "I tryed it once and it tastes like vinegar and oil mixed". "Oh really".. Said the emo as he took a small amount and put it in a cup with sink water and poured it down my throat. It tasted like fruit punch but i pretended it tasted bad." You cunt you didnt put enough in it to make him really sick" he said as he took a full scoopful and put it in the cup, stirred it in with the water and made me drink it. FOOLS... they had no idea of the powah they held.It tasted like the nectar of the gods. I shuddered with the flavor and faked wretching noises. They smiled, pleased by the result. They probably would have gone on and gave me more had the girl not called out "dinners ready". They left and closed the door behind them. I knew that i had to escape tonight or die. When is the stuff gonna kick in... I rose up from the seat and the restraints fell from me. It was as if i were never restrained to begin with. I looked in the mirror. I didnt look any stronger cept for a good "pump" feel. And a redness all over my skin. Every blood vessel had a heartbeat. I walked to the door and turned to face it. My leg flew out and BOOM the door broke into peices. Flying lnto the oposite wall and shattering against it. They all jumped up imidiatly from the couch and chairs. "Fuck sake mate" said the eldest as he charged me. I swat him and can feel his bones break beneath my hand. he spins into the drywall and fall into the couch in a sleep position. Then comes the kid. I kicks him so hard in the balls that he goes through the roof. Legs tangling and twitching as blood slides down the inside of his pants. As for the emo he comes at me with the screwdriver. I hold up my hand and it slides through my palm and then i grab it at its hilt holding his hand. He tries to pry himself away but with my other hand i grab him by the neck and lift him. He dangles in the air his eyes wide with fear as i gaze into them. I make a small smile as i squeeze..its like squeezing a peeled banana between your fingers...his body makes a thud as it seperates from his head. I then turn to the girl and see her trembling in the corner. I go to her and hold both her arms as i force her to the ground... I then unzip my pants and proceed to rape her... She thrases about and crys and screams... This wont do and so i wrap both my hands around her neck. She chokes and scratches at my hands but i ignore this and continue to pump until i cum. Afterwards there is a moment of ecstasy as the rage and strength fades... I look down and am horrified to see the girls eyes rolled into the back of her head and her mouth gaped open, tears still fresh on her face. I get up and oull up my pants and stare and the scene around me in discust... I was victorious but there was no feelibg of triumph... Only the terror of what i had done. And the poor girl. Why did she have to die? What crime did she commit other than being asociated with them? Was she a sister? Another victim perhaps? I started to sob and after a while i decided to leave this place and do my best to bury this memory. Before i left i got a water bottle from their fridge and filled it with creatine. This elixer would ensure a safe ( if but brutally cruel ) passage home. And then i stepped out into the strange unfamiliar neighborhood trying to find my way back. Silently praying that i wouldnt have to unleash the devil inside.

 

Well that was a long one sorry for any spelling errors. To be continued i guess...

[Bazil]

Yesterdays sesh was okay. Had a dream the night before about sone cult that was trying to resurect the shadow god. And then that day as i was reading about irish's wonderland guide the tingly feeling returned to the back of my head and when i thiught of his name i thought damien instead of dorian. Its not the first time thats happened i thought it was an intrusive thought but maybe he likes to be called that instead. I think he also likes the wonderland idea.Now to decide on a wonderland setting...

[Bazil]

Yesterdays went well enough i used the orb personality forcing method channeling it into my hand like an anime cliche and then shoving it into his chest. Then crushing it and watched as he burned from the inside out with the orbs color. That day i was more aware of his pressence as i narated the whole day i could continue to feel the tingly feeling around my head. The same i get when forcing and reading through theese forums. Perhaps this is a sign of conciencness? Is it strange to think of him as an infection or cancer in my head? Well off to try and do more forcing and continued naration as today im pretty well snowed in. No sleep was had last night so we gots our coffee.

[G+3]

1: when tulpaforcing i imagine things they come out like camera flashes lasting only for a few seconds and then fading but i figure that if i can keep flashing the same image then itl play out in my mind like a film. Is that how it works?

 

2: when narating do you refer to youself as a person or as a "we" like. "Im going to the park" or "come let us go to the park" or "we are going to the park".

 

3:I get a tingly feeling all over and numbness when i sit still and close your eyes after about 15 minutes

 

4:Also when personality forcing can you explain a trait by puting a tulpa in a story or scenario where they act out that trait? Like for example when i said manipulative. After describing it. I put him in a story in witch he befriends a rather unpopular boy and then shapes him in his image to use him as a social spy/pawn or to generally be at his beck and call a la assasins creed brotherhood.

 

Please bare in mind that I'm no expert at all to tulpamancing, but I have leared some shit.

 

1. I'd say that's different with many people, try not to 'snap pictures' as much as possible though, your tulpa is a living sentient thing and doesn't just freeze in one place (unless you plan fir them to do that).

 

2. That's totally up to yourself, don't be an ass hole though, ''We are going to the park now Jimmy!''

''But Bob, I was just in a car crash!

''I said... we're going to the park Jimmy.''

 

3. That's your body 'shutting down', to an extent, it's how people advance to lucid dreaming (as I'm sure you already know from your past endeavors to do so), totally normal. If you get it at other times though it might be the acclaimed ''Irish_'s feeling'', but I'm not too familiar with that.

 

4. Yes, you can do that, and I'd say it's beneficial because it gives real time demonstration of the trait and fleshes it out more. I wanted to do this but would always drift off and continue the story elsewhere in your mind.

 

Once again, we've only been going about two months, don't take my word as scripture. I have to say though... the title captured me and I've actually only read the first post, but that was also very satisfactory to read. Please keep forcing and updating, the one other guy I follow just bloody disappeared. Also: let deviation slide, unless you are totally against it (such as mine turning into a man, NO!), it's your tulpa deciding what they want to look like.

[Bazil]

Thanks g+2 altough i cant tell wether hed object or agree with "going to the park" as he aint vocal...yet. Another thing however is that when im reading somthing or watching a movie i feel the familiar tingly feel in the back of my head... Could it be that damien enjoys theese things?

[G+3]

Oh god, I'm not nearly researched enough to answer things like that. In fairness, a tulpa's opinions and morals are reflected - even if only slightly - by their creator's, possibly. Think of how you planned his personality, might give you a bit of insight, but you'll have to ask a more experienced tulpamancer about that; mainly because the only 'feelings' I've ever had is where Pruria is in relation to me, nothing to do with her emotions or feelings (of which I envy you for, as I have to ask her 'bout that stuff and she hates it.)

 

And please, call me G.

[Bazil]

Alright g man. So to continue this tale last night i think that i really made progress. I imagined a wonderland wich was the "battlestation" of my old house and decided to make the chest where i used to put my videogames the bastion of his personality. Thinking about the personality cores from the portal games i held out my right hand palm side up and began to talk about sexual desire and degeneracy. It started to form a ball that formed itself as if it was being filled with a red liquid slowly rising into its shape the more i talked about it. Having the usual slight presure in my temples when i force. Then when it was about to the brim and i exausted my vocabulary on the trait i said "i will now pour all my knowledge of this trait into you. I then clasped my hands around the orb and started to imagine me transfering everything i knew about it. The headache then increased in severity. It was as if my whole head became enflamed. Red light shone through my fingers and the room shook slightly until after 20 seconds or so i became exausted and stoped, the headache subsiding as well as the special effects. When i uncovered it the orb looked like a little eye of sauron. Its eye darted wildly and started to say the most vulger things in the most comical little voice. I then placed him in the chest despite his disaproval. Then i began to work on the manipulation and arrogant traits, purple and green. After i had placed them all in the chest i decided to retire for the night. And got another sleep paralysis episode.

[Bazil]

Well i gotta tell ya what a breakthrough i had yesterday. So there i am doing more personality work when suddenly i think i dose off but not quite... I think i started seeing a form doing various actions and a web that strecthed out connectin to nodes wich were the personality cores i beleive. After coming around i decided that there isnt much more i can do for personality for serious and decided to go back to form creating. He is black skined, tall and ottermode. He has slightly long nails on his bare feet and torn at the ankles pants with a white pirate shirt open slightly at the breast and longish arms and fingers, nails. His face is dificult to form but i started to try imposing him into the room and after the worst eyeball stinging epileptical headache i opened my eyes to see a distorted "shadow" like figure in front off my bed. Shaking i reached out to touch him in shock that i did it and heard grandpa start roaring next to me "anon whats wrong!" Wich snaped me out of my trance. I looked over and said "nothing go back to bed." The next day i tried imposing him again but i was careful not to go all out lest i start having an episode in public. And only managed to produce slight snapshots of his form. And then halfway through the day the most wonderful thing happened!... I woke up... It was all a dream. Oh subconcience why do you enjoy tormenting me so...well cant say there was no progress as the tingly pressure feeling in the back of my head has increased slightly. At least i got that. Will continue to force form.