biblioman's Sciencey Adventures in Tulpa Creation

[biblioman]

...Well then. You decided to read my thread. Well, thanks.

 

Random background:

I'm a sophomore in a tiny private high school and I had to do a long-term school project; well, I chose experimental tulpa development. Before you ask, my school considers LARP suitable for school time, so they aren't judging, I've talked it over with my teachers, mother, and therapist and they all think it's fine, yadda yadda yadda.

I consider myself pretty damn intelligent, but I don't want to put my full resume online, but take me on my word.

Also, my mother is a therapist with regular access to EEG equipment, so that furthers my belief that it isn't a bad idea, on the grounds that research would be pretty fun...

Before you say that my priorities are out of whack:

Also, for the sake of letting people know, MY MOTIVATION ISN'T JUST SCIENCE (in rough order; lower number is higher motivation):

1. Companionship - highest by a long shot.

2. Responsibility.

3. Possible mood help, even though I'm pretty stable.

4. Help focusing.

5. Meditative/imaginative boost.

THEN AND ONLY THEN 6. Science.

Oh, right, I have bipolar disorder and ADD. Medicated on both counts; not Seroquel.

 

TL;DR: Mentally kinda-sorta-unstable-but-not-really teenager decides to create a tulpa. Because nothing can go wrong.

 

Tulpa info: Deciding between Lania and Alania, both sound cool but the former sounds better on some level. She'll be a human female, specific form not decided on yet.

Her CURRENT (deviations not included yet) big 7 traits, in no particular order:

Intelligent

Affectionate

Tolerant

Selfless

Trusting

Motivated

Optimistic

 

Day 0 info (yes I'm a coder too): I'm actively trying to NOT force until the pre-test: tomorrow morning's EEG. Then I plan to spend like N hours, 0 < N < 24, forcing and quality time. (No, seriously, I plan to spend a while.)

 

Anyway, time to lurk some more.

-biblioman

[biblioman]

Day 1:

 

At Phi and this guide's suggestion, I did a greeting session with Aleana; below be from the Google Doc I made, after my pre-tulpa EEG session:

 

Hello, Aleana. Can you hear me? I know you can. I believe you can.

You are intelligent, motivated, understanding, honest, tolerant, selfless, impulsive, chaotic, decisive, narcissistic, optimistic, and loving.

We, together, will force you, Aleana. We need each other’s help for this, though.

We will create you, Aleana, no matter how much time it takes. We will never give up.

I know what we want, Aleana, and I’ll work daily to achieve our goal.

You will be a companion for life for me, Aleana, just like I will be for you.

I hope to serve as a kind friend for you, Aleana, just like I hope you will for me.

Aleana, we will overcome all obstacles and fight all struggles, together, the two of us. The world’s dangerous; we can help each other.

I promise you that we will force for 7 hours every week.

We are now connected, united, and we will feel no need to lie to each other.

Aleana, we can force you together.

 

She seemed to respond in a fast burst of a weird peaceful emotion.

 

Query of the day: does anyone know if it's possible to have a really-freaking-fast developing tulpa? Because I've already heard some mindvoice, gotten some foreign emotions, including liking an image for a possible form, etc. when practically everyone says that nothing develops into about 20+ hours in. (Except Chupi. I believe Chupi's opinions regarding hour counts are right on.)

[waffles]

Be careful what you label as your tulpa. Hour counts that are referenced in FAQ_man's guide were merely a guideline anyway, and shouldn't be paid much attention. However, typically a first tulpa will take some time to develop. It would typically be said that this isn't your tulpa proper; however, there's no need to ignore it.

[biblioman]

Seriously, thanks waffles for your help in both of my threads. And "sorry" (read: I'm not sorry, I have no regrets) for going against your advice to not create one. :P My reasoning for doing it: I do think that she'll help me and I'll help her in the long run.

Anyway, back to the point. I'm in a bit of a bind here: I don't want to parrot her, as I've heard arguments both ways on that issue but subscribe to the 'bad idea' side; yet I don't want to ignore her as that's both mean and can lead to stunted growth and angry tulpae. The last thing I need is more anger in my head.

[waffles]

I wasn't advising that you shouldn't make a tulpa. In fact, I had misunderstood what you meant by making a project on tulpas.

 

As general advice, don't parrot. You could do it a bit, but honestly think through what your tulpa would actually say before saying it.

 

In terms of ignoring possible responses, well, it'd be bad to ignore a genuine response. However, at this point it is likely safe to say that these are not genuine, fully-fledged responses, but rather you - or your unconscious mind - thinking about what your tulpa might do. In a sense this is a proto-tulpa - as it were - and as such is a good thing. However, you shouldn't set much store in them. Acknowledge them and move on, I'd say, instead of trying to hold a conversation through them.

[biblioman]

What do you think I mean by making a project on tulpas?

 

When I said "parrot", I really meant something more along the lines of "accidentally parrot" - not intended, but more... well, accidental.

 

But yeah, I'll obviously defer to your experience; but, by way of an example, I mentally heard a voice, seemingly different from my thoughts - and I spend a TON of time in my head, I know what I sound like - say "hmph" when I started to write the third paragraph of this response.

Also, do you know if there's any general trend between intellect and tulpa development? I (at least like to) believe that I'm being pretty modest when I say I'm smart (took MATH 301 at a college in 6th grade, got a B+.)

 

Again, THANKS SO MUCH for your help.

[waffles]

I thought that you were going to make a written project around the time of your starting, not make a tulpa for your project.

 

I don't think there is a correlation between intelligence and tulpa development. It probably helps a bit, like it does with everything, but it's not passive. You could use your intelligence to make smarter decisions about what to do, and what to recognise as your tulpa, but I don't think your tulpa will develop faster simply because of intelligence.

You don't really need to tell us why you think you're smart, only that you think so. It is reasonable to say "I'd say I'm fairly intelligent" but unreasonable to follow it up with "because I took a university-level paper when I was young and did well".

[biblioman]

Hey waffles. And hey again thread.

 

@waffles: Thanks for your help. The reason, by the way, that I said that about my intelligence (I don't see why it's "unreasonable") is that I don't like people thinking they understand my situation fully. And having another "oh shit guys, 15 year old with mental issues here, abandon ship" would get on my nerves in the extreme. Anyway, I'll have more of a go (I'm already going) at it, with that in mind.

 

Anyway, on to Day 2 (yesterday). I'll post Day 3 later today.

 

Day 2:

 

-Went over yesterday's personality traits more mentally in 10 minutes between classes. Forgot "Honest", remembered the rest of them.

-Fleshed out personality a bit more in 8 minutes during lunch; added 9 more traits; also added Likes and Dislikes section to notebook.

 

Now to force.

[biblioman]

Day 3 + Some Philosophical Thoughtdump I Summoned From Who-Knows-Where:

 

-Spent 5 minutes in break between classes going over 3 particular traits.

 

-Spent 15 minutes before dinner doing Bluesleeves's essence method, starting by visualizing close friends and family. Not starting Aleana's... yet.

 

-Spent 10 minutes after dinner continuing the method. Then I got distracted.

 

The philosophy thoughtdump; I posted about half of this in an unrelated thread.

 

Humans and tulpas/ae aren't nearly as different as we think in my humble (noob) opinion. We can argue about what reality is for hours, but it doesn't change the fact that, again IMHO, if you believe in something, it's as good as real. (Cogito ergo sum.) Examples: God: if you are religious, you believe in God and that makes him real to you. If you aren't religious: surely there's somewhere on Earth you haven't visited? You haven't BEEN there, per se, but you have likely seen it depicted in an artistic fashion - photography, painting, whatever. So what's the difference? Do you need to sense something for it to exist? (And, also, a lot of you DO sense your tulpas/ae through imposition.) Also: have you seen your brain? Stomach? I'm slightly solipsistic in that regard only - you know what you can sense - but that leaves room for people, places, things, beings you haven't seen but believe in - and hence I'm not solipsistic. And I do believe that Paris (the city) exists, that my mother's and father's minds exist, that my tulpa exists even though I haven't seen her yet, nor have I seen signs of sentience. You don't see signs of sentience from a baby for a while, yet it exists without a doubt. What is the difference? Sure, the process of having a baby =/= that of a tulpa, and baby =/= tulpa, but care, energy, and time is required for a baby and a tulpa. So, assuming (as said above) that believing in something makes it close enough to reality that the distinction is negligible, then the distinction between a baby and a tulpa should be similarly small. And when you have a baby, do you say, "Day 214: She's finally sentient!"? Of course not! Sentience is a gradual trait: you don't go from not existing to sentient overnight (Side note: thanks waffles for helping with that idea.) and you shouldn't expect your tulpa shouldn't either; BUT, you need to believe that your tulpa is just as sentient as you or me for the trait to be developed.

 

TLDR: Pretty much what Chupi said. This post is actually in part to reinforce the notion that, yes, Aleana IS sentient just not talking and not showing it yet.

 

Well that was long-winded.

[waffles]

'Cogito ergo sum' - 'I think therefore I am' means that the one thinking exists because they are thinking, not that what they are thinking about exists.

 

You haven't made the important distinction between being real and being real for you. That is, someone believing in God may experience God, but that doesn't make Him universally real, only real to him.

 

Solipsism is the idea that you can't vouch for anything's existence outside your own mind, not that you should only believe in what you see. On the contrary, solipsism states that you can't believe in even what you see, because it is still an experience generated by the mind.

 

Besides that, belief is far from the only thing that makes something reality - for you. I could change my belief as to what the colour of the sky was, but I would wake up to a - on my mind - wrong-coloured sky (someone here actually did this), rather than the sky changing to the colour I thought it should be.

 

You, like many others, I think, are overestimating the effect of belief. It's not 'believe that they are sentient' - though that probably helps - so much as 'treat them as if they are sentient'. Belief is not the only thing; I and plenty of others did not believe that my tulpa was sentient until they were. That's not to say that the attitude isn't helpful; it is. What I'm saying is that belief, though helpful, is far from the only factor in tulpa creation and anything else.