biblioman's Sciencey Adventures in Tulpa Creation

[biblioman]

But almost everyone here would say their tulpa can think; therefore it is in a way.

 

I can agree with this next statement - there is an important distinction between "real" and "real for one person".

 

I was using solipsism as a way to state that I agree with the theory behind the conclusion, and not the conclusion itself.

 

Anyway, I was pretty tired when I wrote that - I swear I must be the only person with a sane sleep schedule sometimes - so, to be honest, I'm not sure exactly how much of it I'd agree with if I were to reread it. Don't treat it too seriously, I sometimes go a bit crazy with random philosophy before bedtime (not literally). But thanks for the advice.

[biblioman]

Day 4:

 

(There's a lot of talk of 'essence' in here, all the required background is that I have a theory of personality [which has probably been made before] and the deepest layer is one's essence, their belief/moral system, unconscious, repressed memories, etc. I'm a highly visual guy, so I imagine an essence's color and form mentally, with each correlating to a different trait.)

-I took a 20-minute walk to try to narrate; ended up failing because I'm a quiet guy. I barely talk.

 

-I imagined Aleana's essence for 7 minutes (following Bluesleeve's method); it fits with my introspection and experimentation with essences recently. (I'm not doing anything dangerous mentally, just imagining those of different people I know.) I actually came up with a personal philosophy of what an essence means to me, i.e. what the color and form mean.

 

-I also introspected and imagined Aleana's essence for a good 13 minutes combined later.

 

-Last, for 31 (!) minutes I tried to recreate her essence, culminating with me putting the essence in her current form. Carried her to a mental bed, but not before doing the "surprise me!" tactic. I got a foreign mental voice, which said "meatloaf".

...I don't even know.

 

Another thing: I'm going to start thanking N people, in or out of the community, by initials or username, on every day which can be expressed as 2^N. (For instance, on the 512th day, I'll thank 9 people, but on the 513th, none.)

 

So:

Day 2 thanks - waffles for the help in the setup and in my other thread. Also, waffles, why do you torture me with your terribly good advice?

 

Day 4 thanks - my mother and father for not considering me crazy for doing this. (I talked it over with them, as it may or may not impact my mental health... dunno yet.)

[fennecfoxx]

her current form

 

I got a 404 error...

[biblioman]

 

I got a 404 error...

Try clicking on the attachment, sorry, I'm a bit new to this "forum" thing. :P

(And it's weird; I've never watched anime yet her form is "crystallizing" into this.)

 

Also, I'm commissioning one of my classmates to paint her. Very happy.

 

Anyway, Day 5 (yesterday) coming up:

 

-Spent 8.5 minutes before dinner (I do time my sessions for the sake of keeping a good journal.) with Fede-lasse's pure white noise on vocalization. It (gasp) made it easier to narrate and I heard her voice for likely the first time. I then tried Surprise Me again:

Me: "Um... surprise me?"

Aleana: "Why should I? I already did."

 

-Spent 12.5 minutes after dinner, with the white noise, on vocalization. We talked a bit, I heard her more. She seemed to be annoyed with my doubt, so I will drop this here (from my journal).

 

Sentience: (mostly) done.

 

Anyway, I will be traveling soon, so I won't be updating quite as frequently. I will, though, be forcing and may update in bunches of days.closeup flowers original lips long hair kimono green hair anime golden eyes aqua hair orange eyes j_www.wallmay.com_98.j

[biblioman]

AH JESUS. Just realized I had a log or something, I dunno.

Welp, I restarted after some family chaos - I've been thinking about my recently deceased uncle lately, so I didn't want to force at such a bad time - and that kinda took a month. Insert sadface emote.

 

So, without further ado/redo:

 

Day "1", the day before yesterday:

 

22 minutes of essence-based meditation.

 

Day "2", yesterday:

 

16 minutes of meditation, done to Fede's (RIP) tunes. Heard her mindvoice... again... in the last 3-4 minutes. Twas awesome.

[Aarix]

I apologize for your uncles passing. But one thing that tulpas can do best, is console. Don't use it as a reason to deter forcing, share it with your tulpa. They know you need comfort and will try to help however possible.

 

We wish you the best in future development.

[biblioman]

Thank you Aarix! I kinda wish I had known that though...

 

Anyway, time to force, be back shortly.

[biblioman]

I am still forcing, even though this log isn't being updated.

 

Friday:

Nothing, preparing for Science Bowl.

 

Saturday:

Science Bowl.

 

Sunday:

12 minutes in a few free minutes of forcing, half on Tulpatone and half off, mindvoice was clear the whole time.

[Yori]

What would be wrong with making a mindfolk for scientific reasons? It's different from the usual reasons you read about.

 

Although the sex of your mindfolk was very predictable - female, as you are male.

 

I'm jealous that you have a mother with access to EEG equipment to be honest. Kind of interested in my own sucky brain. >.>

 

Her traits aren't surprising either. 7 great traits.

 

My mindfolk is really just a copy of an already existing character, cos for some reason this time of all times imagination wasn't working for me. It wouldn't keep stable. NOW I think it would (ha, after I already know what I want!) but oh well.

 

As for the google doc, sounds pretty good. Acting as if they're already there is good for progress, I've heard. And just assuming it's them if you think they communicated back and aren't sure.

 

And whatever the opinion on hour counts... ew. Hour counts, for me, would suck. Just going with the flow is a better method for me. Hour counts would suck all of my motivation out and make it feel like a chore. Even reading can be made to feel like a chore if I have to log for 20 minutes or so (that's elementary school stuff, though, so it's over).

 

 

Maybe you can create her so that she doesn't mind being ignored. It's your mind, after all. Mind over mind.

 

 

As for knowing what you sound like, are you one of those people who have a mind voice, or did you mean you just know how you think?... although of course you do, whether you pay attention to your thoughts or not. They're yours.

 

As for Math 301, what kind of math was in that class? Sounds tasty.

 

Don't worry too much about people thinking you have mental issues, even if you are a teenager. That would be surprising and dumb. Everyone's here to at least talk about mindfolk. And if they're just some person makin fun of the idea, *shrug* I can understand being paranoid about that, though, I guess. I get shit for my age and I don't understand why. That's why I don't like to reveal my age - and the results prove that there's no reason to use my age against me. People don't say "damn, you must be a teenybopper!" or go "are you a teenager or a preteen?" Some people even assume I'm 30-40. I don't think there is much of a relationship between how cool or likable you are and what your age is... many idiotic adults prove this... as well as many awesome young people. I think people should also stop being so surprised when a child says something basic ("Wow, that girl/boy is so smart!). And now I'm rambling, so I'll shut up now. I go off track a lot. Sorry.

 

As for whether or not mindfolk are real, like anything, it does not matter if you are talking about what they do for you. What a god, an imaginary person, or a deliberate lie does for you doesn't change whether it's true or not. In all other ways, it does matter.

 

As for sentience appearing overnight... well, I disagree there. I don't see why not. No idea how it actually works.

 

As for the N stuff. What are you saying when you do that? Is it some kind of code? Sometimes you start talking about n to the n power. Not sure what you're on about. Hope it doesn't matter too much or isn't essential to understanding the general point of your posts.

 

Do you use actual white noise to help meditate?

[biblioman]

What would be wrong with making a mindfolk for scientific reasons? It's different from the usual reasons you read about.

 

Although the sex of your mindfolk was very predictable - female, as you are male.

 

I'm jealous that you have a mother with access to EEG equipment to be honest. Kind of interested in my own sucky brain. >.>

 

Her traits aren't surprising either. 7 great traits.

 

My mindfolk is really just a copy of an already existing character, cos for some reason this time of all times imagination wasn't working for me. It wouldn't keep stable. NOW I think it would (ha, after I already know what I want!) but oh well.

 

As for the google doc, sounds pretty good. Acting as if they're already there is good for progress, I've heard. And just assuming it's them if you think they communicated back and aren't sure.

 

And whatever the opinion on hour counts... ew. Hour counts, for me, would suck. Just going with the flow is a better method for me. Hour counts would suck all of my motivation out and make it feel like a chore. Even reading can be made to feel like a chore if I have to log for 20 minutes or so (that's elementary school stuff, though, so it's over).

 

 

Maybe you can create her so that she doesn't mind being ignored. It's your mind, after all. Mind over mind.

 

 

As for knowing what you sound like, are you one of those people who have a mind voice, or did you mean you just know how you think?... although of course you do, whether you pay attention to your thoughts or not. They're yours.

 

As for Math 301, what kind of math was in that class? Sounds tasty.

 

Don't worry too much about people thinking you have mental issues, even if you are a teenager. That would be surprising and dumb. Everyone's here to at least talk about mindfolk. And if they're just some person makin fun of the idea, *shrug* I can understand being paranoid about that, though, I guess. I get shit for my age and I don't understand why. That's why I don't like to reveal my age - and the results prove that there's no reason to use my age against me. People don't say "damn, you must be a teenybopper!" or go "are you a teenager or a preteen?" Some people even assume I'm 30-40. I don't think there is much of a relationship between how cool or likable you are and what your age is... many idiotic adults prove this... as well as many awesome young people. I think people should also stop being so surprised when a child says something basic ("Wow, that girl/boy is so smart!). And now I'm rambling, so I'll shut up now. I go off track a lot. Sorry.

 

As for whether or not mindfolk are real, like anything, it does not matter if you are talking about what they do for you. What a god, an imaginary person, or a deliberate lie does for you doesn't change whether it's true or not. In all other ways, it does matter.

 

As for sentience appearing overnight... well, I disagree there. I don't see why not. No idea how it actually works.

 

As for the N stuff. What are you saying when you do that? Is it some kind of code? Sometimes you start talking about n to the n power. Not sure what you're on about. Hope it doesn't matter too much or isn't essential to understanding the general point of your posts.

 

Do you use actual white noise to help meditate?

 

Holy wall of text Batman! Granted, I'll probably do the same, but whatever. :P

 

On a more serious note, thanks for the thought-out reply. Really appreciate it, as I'm a total noob with regard to this stuff. I can't reply to each part of your post, individually, but I'll try.

 

Science: how would you feel if you knew you were created for a science experiment?... WAS my logic, anyway, but then I realized that I'm creating her for many more reasons than science, so I'm good.

 

Gender: well, yeah. It seems to be the trend, and something about it/her just "clicked" for me.

 

EEG: Yup! Very happy to (maybe) contribute to this excellent community somehow! ...And, from the intelligence shown in your reply, your brain is anything but sucky; I won't purport to know you, though.

 

Traits: Thanks! I spent a while on those, now I'm off of that and on to... just talking, imposition, and a wee bit of traits.

 

Google Doc? I honestly forgot what you're referring to... that's probably a bad thing. :P

 

I'm not actually logging hours anymore, but I am journaling meditation so that when I have to present in front of my entire (25-student) school I won't look crazier. They already know I'm a bit out there.

 

Eh... that'd be irresponsible, I'd think, but it might work. Thanks for the idea!

 

I definitely have a mind voice, I think (and talk) to myself all the time and it developed over time.

 

Math 301 (at least I think it was 301) was Graph Theory, not the y = 2x type of graph, but like the Konigsberg Bridge Problem and stuff like that.

 

Don't worry too much about people thinking you have mental issues, even if you are a teenager. That would be surprising and dumb. Everyone's here to at least talk about mindfolk. And if they're just some person makin fun of the idea, *shrug* I can understand being paranoid about that, though, I guess. I get shit for my age and I don't understand why. That's why I don't like to reveal my age - and the results prove that there's no reason to use my age against me. People don't say "damn, you must be a teenybopper!" or go "are you a teenager or a preteen?" Some people even assume I'm 30-40. I don't think there is much of a relationship between how cool or likable you are and what your age is... many idiotic adults prove this... as well as many awesome young people. I think people should also stop being so surprised when a child says something basic ("Wow, that girl/boy is so smart!). And now I'm rambling, so I'll shut up now. I go off track a lot. Sorry.

 

This deserved it's own quote thingy.

 

Thanks so much for this, it really reaffirmed my desire to create her. And yeah, there are a ton of idiotic adults - one page on Facebook, after I told him about my uncle's suicide on some ridiculous photo he shared called "How to Hang Yourself," said, and I quote, "not a single fuck was given that day. The counterpoint, though, is that a LOT of awesome teens exist, which, based off of your profile age (is that accurate?), you seem to fall in, as well as my entire school.

...And my life story is going off track, don't feel the need to apologize for it. :P Like I said, it (your post) was very helpful.

 

On the existence point: very true! I didn't even think about the religious aspect to that when I posted! I'll have to think tomorrow, though, it's past 11:30 here. I need to hit the hay soon. (Better hope I don't fall on the needle. :P)

 

Sentience: well, it happened (I'm almost certain), so it's moot now, but my revised view is that, as long as you feed attention (the Freudian type, not the metaphysical type) into your tulpa, it'll become sentient. So, if you feed half of your life, even if you aren't forcing 12 hours a day, into he/she/it, they'll become sentient a lot faster than if you barely think about it. And I thought about her a LOT.

 

That was a project I gave up, pretty much as follows: If log base 2 (n) is a whole number, I'll thank N people, in the community or out, for what they've done for me. Else, do nothing.

 

The now-defunct Fede's noise is very helpful for early-on stages, I stopped after I could hear her relatively consistently. Just be warned that Fede's method... isn't very good. The noise is, though.

 

Anyway, that was pretty lengthy, and it's late here, so time to rest. Thanks for your post! If you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a PM!

 

-biblioman