Dr.Simmons May 31, 2013 Share May 31, 2013 Before you ask, I am not really a doctor, although I do want to get a doctorate in Psychology one day. You can troll me all you want about my name, it'll only make me laugh xD. I have been studying Psychology recreationally for 7 years, so I am quite aware of how amazing and mysterious the human brain really is. Like any other normal human being, I'm a bit skeptical towards the existence of tulpae, but not to the point that I can't believe that making one is possible. Even if it isn't possible, and thousands of people are lying about having a tulpa (Which is virtually impossible) Then I will make it possible! I want to invent a conscious, self-aware robot one day, and/or dream technology that will make viewing your dreams on a TV screen possible. I'm 17 years old now, so I'm sure my imagination is fresh enough to create a tulpa. But I have to go to school now or I'm gonna miss the bus! I'll post soon! "You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut ones eyes tight or open ones arms wide, either way, one's a fool" -A courtesy of NotQuiteSkeptical "I don't care if you don't believe me, I don't need you to!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Simmons May 31, 2013 Author Share May 31, 2013 So I'm dedicating 200 days, and 150 hours to my experiment. My hypothesis? If you believe that you possess a subconscious entity, and talk to this entity with the utmost faith that it exist, then your brain will react to this stimuli, reciprocating this cognitive confusion with the creation of a being that exist only to you. I'm in class right now, writing this, and I can't wait to get home to narrate to my Tulpa! The reason I'm making a tulpa in the first place, is because I enjoy being alone, but dislike bonding with people, because it leads to heartbreak, and/or greif. I have tons of friends at school, and I'm quite charismatic, but sometimes friendship's can feel empty. Having a tulpa will fill this hole in my heart (I don't care how cheesy that sounded!) I have the willpower to make a tulpa, and even if it takes over 150 hours, I WILL NEVER GIVE UP. My ultimate goal is to master tulpa creation, and train others. Who knows? maybe I'll write a book about the phenomenon when I succeed. It's probably already been done, but meh. I'm the type of person that would do 3 hours of tulpaforcing, but round down to 1 hour if I thought that the session was poor and/or devoid of consistent quality, for the best accuracy and results. If you anyone reads this, just know that one day I'll be a doctor, and feedback is much appreciated! I'm really lonely ): "You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut ones eyes tight or open ones arms wide, either way, one's a fool" -A courtesy of NotQuiteSkeptical "I don't care if you don't believe me, I don't need you to!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous May 31, 2013 Share May 31, 2013 What are you going to do after you are done with the 150 hours? You sound like you want a tulpa as a companion (like me by the way), but that means he or more likely she will stick around for the rest of your life, not for 200 days. Anyway good luck! Also I like your I-will-never-give-up attitude, tulpa creation is a lengthy process so you will need it :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotQuiteSkeptical May 31, 2013 Share May 31, 2013 Your report sounds a lot like mine, but more intelligent / formal / generally better. We seem to share at least a few points of view. Huh. Really intrested to see how this works out for you, I'll be watching this. "Do I fear death? Absolutely, only because it's disappointing. Life is so amazing to witness and be a part of. If I could live until the stars die and the universe goes cold, I would do it just because I want to know how the story unfolds and if it actually ends at all or we keep finding a way." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Simmons May 31, 2013 Author Share May 31, 2013 Thanks guys! @Notquiteskeptical: It's an honor that you even read this xD but thanks, I'm gonna need all of the luck I can get. @Noobdreamer: I actually do want my tulpa as a life-long companion, but if the tulpa doesn't show a sign of sentience, within that window of time, I'll just add another 150 hours. But that scenario has a 25% chance of happening, because my dad was schizophrenic, and I experience full blown hallucinations on a daily basis. Weird hallucinations, like seeing my friend in the hallway, and when I run up to them and get to them, nobody is even there. It's not scary, just extremely annoying. "You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut ones eyes tight or open ones arms wide, either way, one's a fool" -A courtesy of NotQuiteSkeptical "I don't care if you don't believe me, I don't need you to!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous May 31, 2013 Share May 31, 2013 But that scenario has a 25% chance of happening, because my dad was schizophrenic, and I experience full blown hallucinations on a daily basis. Weird hallucinations, like seeing my friend in the hallway, and when I run up to them and get to them, nobody is even there. It's not scary, just extremely annoying. I almost envy you because I'm sure imposition will come extremely easy to you compared to most of us. (I say almost because I realise it's not exactly something one would want to live with) By the way, I think your tulpa might help you getting these hallucinations under control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Simmons June 1, 2013 Author Share June 1, 2013 It's still going to be difficult to impose, trust me. Seeing random peripheral hallucinations during the day is normal for me, but intending them is going to be one of the most challenging things of course. "You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut ones eyes tight or open ones arms wide, either way, one's a fool" -A courtesy of NotQuiteSkeptical "I don't care if you don't believe me, I don't need you to!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Simmons June 2, 2013 Author Share June 2, 2013 A Bad Trip On Curiousity: Becareful what you wish for.I'm extremely interested in neurochemicals and how they can unlock parts of the brain that we would never be able to access on our own. I have always wanted to bend my reality and perception, because I wanted to experience something new, but this lead to me seeing the world completely different; forever. I tried "Hydro" a kind of marijuana that is known for being extremely potent. It's called "Hydro" because it's hydroponically grown. The way marijuana is grown greatly affects it's chemical properties. You are probably thinking "Great, this idiot is a typical dumbass teenager smoking weed in the forest." If you do think that, then you are probably correct, and I don't mind. If you don't, then that's perfect. Last night was the second time I had ever smoked weed, but the first time I smoked powerful weed. Why did I do it? Because I wanted to release my brain's tight grip over reality, and experience how subjective reality was. When I smoked with my two intellectual friends, everything was normal, and I thought nothing would happen. "I think I'm feeling some placebo effects, but that's it." I said wistfully. 5 minutes later, My mind completely shattered. Everything became two-dimensional, and reality itself died. My friends saw me drop to my knees and put my face in my hands and they ran to me. "Guys, Nothing is real, I feel like I'm in a dream." I uttered frantically scared, disoriented, and depressed. "You're having a panic attack. you are going through derealization. I've been through what you're going through. Don't worry, it'll end eventually. Trust me." Said my friend. Every word he said sounded far away, but he was right beside me. I couldn't feel my body, and my friends were completely two dimensional, as if my face was pressed up to a Tv screen. It felt like I was never real, and that if I returned to reality, it would all be a lie my brain created. I looked into my friend's eyes and I saw them as imaginary characters my brain made to keep me company. I felt like my entire existence was a lie... I felt like they said things only because I wanted them to. I started accusing them of being actors, and telling them that they were saying things that weren't on the script. When they said something, it repeated over and over again. It was a constant Deja vu. I couldn't cope with how inconsistent reality was, so I layed down, and let my mind slip away from my body. I was already seeing myself in 3rd person, so I knew I couldn't hold on much longer. I layed down, and looked at the night sky, and felt like I was getting closer to the star I saw. I then felt myself go into the star, and felt myself return to my body. I got up, and sprinted to my friends house, and my friends ran after me. I thought to myself, "It can't get any worse than this." And that's when I looked through the windows of peoples houses. Everyone was a mannequin. Some of the windows were pixelated, as if the houses were pulled straight from a Nintendo game, and I saw that the houses were just boxes with doors, and windows painted onto them. I saw people all around me. Sprinklers were spraying water into the air, and I could see the drops bouncing off of the invisible people, making their outlines visible. I thought that they were spirits, and that made me think about my tulpa, that I had named Akikawa, and I remembered that I should impose her under these psychedelic circumstances. Akikawa is a Japanese girl who is my age, but on the sidewalk I saw a little asian girl wearing a white dress walking towards me. Disgusted by what I saw, I said "No, she's a teenager." And her body began to stretch, until she was too tall, and she shrunk back down to her original size. When I got closer to her, her head started to morph, and her dress turned yellow. That's when I realized that she turned into a fire hydrant. People wearing fancy white suits walked towards me, and the horizon had exit signs on it, because I saw everything as a set. The night progressed as a delusional paradise and nightmare. 5 minutes felt like 5 weeks that night. When i went to sleep, I had too many dreams to count. When I woke up, I looked at my hands, and they seemed so far away. I craved the old reality. 26 hours after smoking, I am still not the same. I still see everything in two dimensions. As I write this, I feel like this is all a dream, and that my body is merely a shell. There is so much more to the experience, that I could make you go insane, but the reason I wrote about this experience, was because I experienced first hand how the brain influences all perception. The brain can see things that aren't there if it wants to, or even take away things! Knowing this will help my tulpa journey, because now I know that reality can be rewritten. Now that I have experienced what it's like to see something that isn't really there directly, I'll be able to recreate it easier. "You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut ones eyes tight or open ones arms wide, either way, one's a fool" -A courtesy of NotQuiteSkeptical "I don't care if you don't believe me, I don't need you to!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Simmons June 2, 2013 Author Share June 2, 2013 The Ten hour session. I fell asleep, hoping that reality would return back to normal, but since I forgot how reality feels, I can't return yet. I narrated for 10 hours so far. I forced myself to believe Akikawa was there, and I noticed that I can concentrate on my tulpa better in absolute darkness. I still suck at imposition during everyday activities. Sometimes I can see Akikawa walking towards me in the corner of my eye, but when I look at her, she's not there. when I look away from her, I see her again. I need to figure out how to directly see her. During sessions, I ask if she can communicate with me in any way. One time I asked her, and I heard two consecutive ringing noises... I'm not sure whether it was her, or my imagination, but for the sake of belief (And her sake) I'm going to believe it was her! But one last thing, If you are having trouble making your tulpa, just remember that reality is Subjective We all share the same canvas of reality, but what we can paint onto this infinite canvas is up to us, we just have to figure out how to do this. I'm quite sure that many successful tulpa creators reading this know exactly what I am talking about :) "You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut ones eyes tight or open ones arms wide, either way, one's a fool" -A courtesy of NotQuiteSkeptical "I don't care if you don't believe me, I don't need you to!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Simmons June 3, 2013 Author Share June 3, 2013 I feel more alone than ever I had a breif panic attack today when I was hanging out with my friends, and the entire day I was depressed. Time is permantely destroyed for me, minutes feel like hours, and deja vu is somethig that happens non-stop. I have to re-experience every thing I ever experienced in what feels like my past life; my life before I touched THC. My sense of hearing is much more clear, my eye sight is in the highest quality now, but when I look into the mirror, I see myself as an old friend that I knew but is long gone, rather than well myself... I felt so lonely when I was hanging out with my close friends, listening to them smile and laugh... It feels like I'm with them, but on a seperate plane of existence. I walked away from them, leaving them behind in the coffee shop, to go talk to my tulpa, the realest person I could imagine. My mind's eye is so clear now, that I feel like I can feel my existence more with my eyes closed, rather than open. I sat and talked to my tulpa quietly and could feel her presence stronger than anything I felt. But I still can't see her... Yet! If you can't understand my description of my current perception, imagine it this way: Imagine that you are in a dark room. There is a TV in the center of the room. Now Imagine that you have had your head inside of this screen for your entire life. Now imagine that you didn't know that your head was inside of the TV screen, and that you thought that you were the one living in this first person movie. If you could picture that, then try to picture this: You fall backwards, and your face is out of the screen, and you realize that it's all a movie you were watching, and that everything you experienced in the movie never happened. You look around and see the dark room that you are in and become very scared of this new place. You then panic, and put your face to the screen, trying so desperately to live in the TV again, but your face never goes back through the glass. So all you can do is watch. In the dark room all by yourself, you watch the life that you used to live, unfold before your eyes. That's my reality in a nutshell. I just hide it, and it has more pro's than cons. Any comments, criticism, feedback, advice, or even insults would be nice to recieve (I want to know how insane I seem to an ordinary person). No I will not seek psychological help. They'll just give me medication, and label me which will destroy my life and future completely. I can solve this myself. This is what Akikawa looks like. I saw a much younger version of her on the sidewalk last friday night when I was hallucinating. If the picture isn't there, then that's because I am on an Ipod x( "You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut ones eyes tight or open ones arms wide, either way, one's a fool" -A courtesy of NotQuiteSkeptical "I don't care if you don't believe me, I don't need you to!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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