Lets Make A Tulpa; RollingGirl's Progress Report

[RollingGirl]

Day 2 September 24, 2013

 

I woke up with a horrible migraine today so I didn't spend as much time passive forcing like yesterday. I still got to talk a little to my tulpa later in the afternoon but that was all. Today was not very productive.

[RollingGirl]

Day 3 September 25, 2013

I ended up getting really sick unfortunately. So I didn't do much today.

Day 4 September 26, 2013

 

Still sick. I did however try to active force while in bed until I fell asleep.

Day 5 September 27, 2013

 

Sick still. I spent most of my time at the doctors. I was way to distracted to focus any energy at all.

Day 6 September 28, 2013

 

I was still sick...

[RollingGirl]

In my humble opinion, you're making the right decision. Fench has helped me enormously with mood and with getting things done.

 

Like you said, we often have the time for our minds to wander as we work, and this can be turned toward forcing. Passive forcing isn't the best way to go, but it's better than nothing, and it can work quite well with sentience and personality.

 

Good luck!

 

Thanks. Oh and I was looking at your progress report. You have done way more research then I have ever done and have the most useful report. I want to try the meditation thing. I think I can get the handle of it fast. I also look forward to reading more.

[Shui]

Thank you! Really, I wish I'd done a bit less research and just started sooner. I've known about tulpa for years, but only began two months ago. I could be so much further along.

 

But good luck with the meditation, and I hope you're feeling better soon.

[RollingGirl]

Thank you! Really, I wish I'd done a bit less research and just started sooner. I've known about tulpa for years, but only began two months ago. I could be so much further along.

 

But good luck with the meditation, and I hope you're feeling better soon.

 

Thanks! ^.^ I am better.

[RollingGirl]

Introduction

 

I know its a little late for an introduction. I wanted to have some experience trying to work on a Tulpa even if nothing much happened yet. I would like to further introduce myself just in case this might matter. I am 18 years old right now and I am an aspiring Director but I have a few things hindering me that include, social anxiety, depression, and doubt. They have kept me from doing a lot of things I want to do along with the worse pressure and loneliness.

 

I write, draw, journal, and read. I have a lot of experience with visualization even though it is not as vivid as I would like. I tend to make up stories and places up in my head often and sometimes I go a little overboard and forget about the things around me which leads to a lot of problems. I have a lot of things a have to do along with many things I want to do so my schedule is so full.

 

Background

 

I might have been well on my way on working on a tulpa when I was little. When I was about 7 I took the whole imaginary friend thing a little too far. I would draw this friend I named Crystal and try to image her in front of me. I would do this everyday until I thought I did see her. (I can't remember how well I did with that.) I would make personality charts and talk to Crystal about herself, making up a story about how she doesn't remember who she is. The problem was that I would show my drawings and chart to my grandma and dad. I would make a big fuss about her and then talk to her in front of them which made grandma mad. She would beat me if I even muttered the word Crystal so I eventually "lost" her. If my memory is correct I had her for about maybe three months. Maybe its better I didn't keep her as a child, I wouldn't really know.

 

Now I heard about tulpas later while reading about world religions when I was about eleven. I thought it was cool but never thought of it as possible. About a year ago I was on Tumblr when I read the Tulpa story from creepypasta. Someone posted a link about tulpas that led me here so I started reading more about tulpas. From there I thought about making a tulpa to help me and that could be a team. I wanted someone to be there to work with me when doing projects, watching shows or reading with me, balance out my depressed and pessimistic nature, and maybe one day if the possession thing is possible we can take turns playing video games to see who gets the highest score, oh, and board games I have so many board games but no one to play with. (Being a lone child with just a dad whose gone all the time is terrible. 0 out of 10 wouldn't recommend.) I am very skeptical about the possession thing though.

 

Methods

 

For methods I want to try several things

 

1. Anapana Meditation

2. Self hypnosis

3. Passive forcing

4. Wonderland

5. Narration

6. Conversation

 

I don't want to expect that I could spend a lot of time with my agenda but I want to meditate in the morning. I won't force doing a wonderland then. I may have a lot of experience with visualization but I think its best that I get a hang of basic mediation first. I'll still try to work on it for about 5 minutes during meditation if I can handle it for that long. At night while I sleep I could do self hypnosis. I like to narrate stories anyway all I have to do is be very descriptive and specific to me. Whether I use first person (I feel tired and weary but I can see myself walking further) or third (You feel tired and wary but you can still see yourself walking further) I do not know. Ill see.

 

I did passive forcing all week and it isn't really easy but it helps more then one would think. Wonderland is something I will incorporate into meditation, hypnosis, and narration. For Narration I will narrate to my tulpa about his personality and home. Conversation is easy. I talk to the tulpa whether he replies or not.

 

I wan't to try waking up at 5 in the morning to meditate. During the day I will passive force with narration and conversation. At night I will use self hypnosis to visualize my tulpa and the wonderland. I hope everything will work out.

---

Day 7 September 29, 2013

 

I spent some time reading The Shui Ching(Shui's Progress Report) and it was probably the best resource on the Tulpa I have ever read. One thing he brought up was anapana meditation which seems like a great idea. I tried and failed at meditation before but It sounds great. I plan on starting slow with it like recommended. Starting with a minute and then moving on to 5 and 10 until one day I can manage and hour and then three hours, then maybe even 24 hours someday.(I'm feeling ambitous.) I even tried it a little today.

 

I spoke to my tulpa a little today but it wasn't too long. I went over what I knew and finally made and introduction, background, and methods. I wan't to have some goals for tomorrow so I could be a little more productive. First I want to make a new personality chart and then work on a description of my wonderland. Then I will start to use the methods I mentioned in the past post.

[Shui]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your childhood experience.

 

Your reasons for creating a tulpa are similar to mine. I mostly think of my tulpa as a coworker, but she has taken on the role of watching over my emotions herself. I guess that just naturally grew out of her personality.

 

Good luck with your meditation and forcing. I look forward to hearing more.

[RollingGirl]

Okay. So the day after I posted the last post I ended up being stuck with so many things to do that I didn't even have time to daydream. Things got really busy and there was way too much to do but now its winter break. At most I will have a job but the real issue is next semester. I am about to be in a pretty stressful situation so I need to get as far as possible into making a tulpa within three short weeks. I am going to continue where I left off, with the same goals that are set. So the next post will be day 8. I haven't given up on making a tulpa at all, as a matter of fact I am going to need it more then ever now. With all the core classes I am going to have next semester and having to get a job to support dad plus night school is going to break me. As a person with a history of anxiety and depression along with being a bit sickly I can't handle this alone and just talking to a friend isn't going to help. I need someone there always, to get rid of those depression triggering thoughts and just be optimistic and hopeful. I need that now more then ever. So I am going to force in a lot of hours. But I need tips and successful tricks to speed up the process just a little. I might not post in this thread everyday but I journal often throughout the day so if I miss a day I can just write what was recorded in my journal on the subject later. For now if anyone can help me please reply.