Lets Make A Tulpa; RollingGirl's Progress Report

[RollingGirl]

(I have never made a tulpa before so this will be interesting. The progress reports will as be organized as possible. My reason for creating a tulpa is not just for a little experiment but also for a friend that could help me through my depression and anxiety.)

 

Notes: About Tulpas (What we should already know)

From my research of the tulpa I found out they are a thought form that comes from Visualization techniques that originated in Tibetan mysticism. However, the mechanics seem possible not as mystics but as an actual component of the unconscious part of the human psyche. You see, about 90% of our decisions are made without or conscious control. This Tulpa will function in the subconscious mind so that it can perform without any effort by the subject after a while. From this I could possibly bring this unconscious to “life” with even a form and personality. However my research comes mostly from blogs and wiki so these resources are not reliable. I will still with a good heart and hope for such a benefit of the tulpa make a positive thesis and say that this will work.

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[MindSeeker]

Welcome to tulpa.info. I wish you success for your tulpamancing.

 

I just wanted to note, that the picture of your personality map is rather small, so it's pretty hard to read.

[RollingGirl]

Sorry about the bubble map being small. I didn't feel as though it was necessary to show the whole thing because it is still incomplete in a way however a more readable version can be viewed here file:///C:/Users/Raquel%20Cruz/Downloads/New-Mind-Map_2fpo29si.htm

[RollingGirl]

I had to restart due to issues explained in later post. So I felt the need to delete some old things. Its not much just one post. I hadn't really done much.

[Asquerade]

I like Yu-Gi-Oh. My favourite was the first generation, with Yugi and Spirit/Pharoh/Older Yugi/Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle/Atem.

 

Do you still play Yu-Gi-Oh? I know a site for playing online for free. Maybe we could duel, with our Tulpas giving us strategic advice Millennium Puzzle-style or Bakura/Marik on the Battle City Blimp style as we duel?

[RollingGirl]

Yea I still play and I already know about battle network. Sounds fun.

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Sorry I haven't updated. I haven't had time to work on the tulpa and I've given it some serious thought. I wan't to research some more before I jump into it.

[RollingGirl]

The Decision

 

Okay, so I wanted to research and reflect more on if I really should create a tulpa. I just wanted to know my own motives and if I can handle having a the equivalent of a person in my head for the rest of my life. I came to the conclusion that I am definitely lonely even if I am around people. In the end its always me and myself. I need someone there but able to know what I am thinking. Someone that will be there to say I'm proud of you when I do something like clean my room or manage to get up in the morning because no one else in my life will. I want to have a team of two that really need each other. A friend that could balance out my timid and neurotic behavior.

 

I can't handle the way things are anymore so I have no doubts about having a tulpa anymore. I will have an issue with time though. My father and school have me on really strict scheduled. A tulpa needs a lot of attention so I will have to passive force a tulpa. I will talk to a tulpa as I do my work. I always had the habit of daydreaming while I am doing work anyway. I just need to bring my mind to the now and focus my energy on a tulpa instead of wasting it like always.

 

So starting tomorrow and maybe a little tonight I will tulpaforce. For the first week I wont set any real goals except just tulpaforce and write in the forum every day. I am starting at day one again so for better of for worse here goes everything.

[RollingGirl]

Day 1

 

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[Shui]

In my humble opinion, you're making the right decision. My tulpa has helped me enormously with mood and with getting things done.

 

Like you said, we often have the time for our minds to wander as we work, and this can be turned toward forcing. Passive forcing isn't the best way to go, but it's better than nothing, and it can work quite well with sentience and personality.

 

Good luck!

[RollingGirl]

Day 1 September 23, 2013

 

I spent the day working on passive forcing. I think it should be known that I had already made a personality and image for my tulpa like it is recommended. I was very vivid when it came to it. I already know what I want. I wont post my personality writings here because they are kind of, well, personal but I can tell you the core of his personality is "Soul" which actually means many things that are pretty specific to me. I cannot elaborate, sorry. (At least not now or here. I will go over it later though.) The tulpa is a basic red fox because I wanted something "dog like" since I am familiar with the anatomy of a dog and will train a hopefully champion dog. When it came to name I had a hard time but there was one name that always popped up a lot in my life, which is Leon, so I went with it. I also gave him the last name Tokala which means Fox. So Leon Tokala or Lion Fox.

 

For a while now whenever I think to myself about something like "Oh god the test is today" I get natural responses from within me that I don't actually focus on that are something like this.

"Your going to fail."

"You can do it"

"Hopefully"

"Loser"

"You should have studied more"

"Pizza would be nice"

"Test oh nononono."

Its not me actively thinking these things. I'd actually like to ignore them but I decided to focus on the "You can do it," voice and turn that into my tulpa. I'm not to sure how it would work but I figured since its all in my head anyway that it wouldn't matter too much. I would just need to give that voice more of a personality and distinctive voice. That is what I hope anyway. As you can see I am not much of an optimist but I want to be.

 

So today was mostly passive forcing. Me thinking "Okay I'm not to sure how to do this." And letting the natural reply come to me. "Don't worry. Be patient and study it better. I know you can do it." Sometimes I thought I was puppeting though. I really am worried about doing that and causing my tulpa to not have any real freedom. I don't really know how to know the difference. I mean, I am not actively thinking about how my tulpa should respond.

 

Now when I got home I was stressed. I have a lot of requirements to meet but I was tired and didn't want to let myself have a panic attack so I decided to put on some slow music and meditate. After I was calm I started talking to my tulpa about making a wonderland. It ended up being the place I usually go to when I am stressed out. If I wasn't puppeting and it was the positive voice, then apparently the place it fine as long as I add a snowy tree with a hole for a bedroom and a fireplace. So I did. However the tree keeps changing into different species because I cannot decide which looks right. I need to pick one out soon.

 

To end this off I want to add that I have a terrible headache now. It could be because of the tulpa, or the new academy requirements(that I barely meet already), or the fact I got only 4 hours of sleep last night. It definitely is a combination of sorts. I will be careful to monitor my headaches though. They might be somehow important.

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