Possible servitor/something else?

[ovaN]

I started a tulpa a while ago. I got through the personality stage, and started visualization, but her form, a bird, was simply too difficult (with the wings that fold up in a specific way and whatnot). I did not seem to have made any headway at all, so I changed the form to something I could manage, and tweaked the personality a bit; mostly by adding traits, but i did remove a couple. I started back from the beginning. It is going well, she is sentient, but near the beginning (before sentience), when i thought of the first tulpa, I could feel a distinct difference from the new one that felt like sentience. Any thoughts on this? I tried to make the transition smoother for her by thinking of the two seperate forms 'in simile with each other' (best way I can describe it), but i don't know if it worked.

[Linkzelda]

You're going to have to earn by working harder through forcing more. You started making a tulpa a while ago, and you should know that any difficulties in visualization means you have to increase your mental capacity even more. Just a few sessions that seem to fail doesn't automatically mean it's your downfall, keep at it. I don't know how long you try to force per day, but what I usually do is at least commit 5 out of 7 days of forcing for at least 60 minutes and 90 minutes at most (may increase that threshold in the near future), and for your case, 30 minutes should be decent enough. The key is for consistency no matter how much you think you're not getting anywhere, the breakthrough will happen.

 

I tried to make the transition smoother for her by thinking of the two seperate forms 'in simile with each other' (best way I can describe it)' date=' but i don't know if it worked. [/quote']

 

I'm guessing you were trying to use a transient form and a form that she'll eventually settle into, if that's the case, it's not really uncommon for people to do that. They do so to allow the tulpa to be more comfortable building their own sentience, sapience, and other things like totality of their personality traits/characteristics/etc. without feeling burdened of sticking to one form. The transient form (or which ever of the two forms) most likely isn't a servitor, especially in the stage you're in now, so if there's any worrying on there being a servitor, shift your focus somewhere else (your tulpa).

 

What I can suggest to you is just know that any form she's in is going to be temporary (most likely), and that you'll have to give her the extra push she needs, but it's just for the initial stages until it's clear she's easier to visualize and such. If you're worried if you're restricting her, keep in the back of your mind to communicate with her in the future if you're wanting to work on vocality. She'll understand it was just something temporary to get her into your awareness more, and with practice, she'll start having apparent signs of sentience and sapience with little to no conscious cognitive processing on your end.

 

For now, this may feel like it'll be silly to do, but ask her questions on what she thinks would be right for her. Ask her things like "How would it feel for you to be in this?" "What do you know about having this particular form?" Anything that gives her the chance to think, and if you're not getting any responses, keep asking in a decent pace while paying attention to any imagery that may show up. Sometimes the responses may be through non-linguistic means (mental imagery, etc).

 

If there's any gaps in visualization or other things you want some advice on, feel free to PM me and state anything that you feel that is important for you and your tulpa to get trained on.

[waffles]

I suppose there is a conceptual difference between your tulpa before and after you made the changes, so when the two felt 'different' thinking about them that would be because of this perception. And by reinforcing the idea that the two are the same thing, I would say you did the right thing to resolve it. In any case, if the feeling is gone then this would indicate that it did work, and there's no problem.