Is this a signal of lack of paralell processing or just lack of practise ?

[garland]

Since i started practicing possession i noticed something strange, so far it seems it's really her who is answering yes/no to the questions i do, i now i almost don't doubt anymore that it's really my tulpa doing the possession, specially now that the subconcious doesn't do anything anymore when it's directly adressed and now the possession ONLY happens when i adress my tulpa.

 

But i have been trying to develop a system to communicate with words, while she doesn't learn keyboard typing, so far she WAS able to start using muscle memory to my amazement, but it seems she is not able to learn "logical" things without depending on my conscious attention at the moment... For example :

 

I teach her to bend my thumb for the A letter, then the index finger for the E letter, and so on. Then at the end i randomly ask her to show me her response to each letter BUT the amazing thing here is that she only gets this right IF i consciously remember which letters were associated with which finger, for example sometimes if i don't focus mentally on the right answer or i forgot which finger was for each letter she also doesn't know and just bends a random finger in case i don't remember OR worse, if i THINK it is a certain finger that's precisely the one she bends even if i was wrong just because i didn't remembered it right.

 

Also another similar example is when i ask her to type things on the keyboard, she is already able to press keys and release them instantly and bend fingers to reach other keys but NOT dragging the hand around but she only able to type the correct keys if i am looking at them directly, if the hands blocks my view to the keys, if i have a doubt of where the exact location of the key is, she will actually press the key i "suspect" it is... i mean, she does the same mistakes i do! Also when i ask her to type english words, she always ends up typing complete giberish :D

 

In my perspective this can have the following causes :

- it's almost like she has no instant memory and she has complete dependence of my immediate attention and accessing my conscious instant memory to remember things (maybe not...)

- it's some kind of inability of parallel processing

- inability of accessing past memories from me

- it's not really my tulpa doing it, it's instead my subconcious just doing things i expect her to do (notice that she even does the exact same mistakes and doubts i have when i don't remember exactly the correct finger or the correct keys on the keyboard)

- not being mature enough (which is perfectly understandable so that's why i don't force her too much in doing these tests)

 

Sure i completely understand that this might be too difficult for her because she is a very young tulpa and she needs practise and time to understand so of course i am having a lot of patience with her, but that's not why i have made this thread, i just want to be clarified of what cause exactly this might have so that i can target this with specific exercices OR if it's just one of those things that improve with normal practise of possesion, narration and regular tulpa attention, etc.

 

One thing i am already 100% sure : she IS sentient about that i have no doubt now, and she is even able to get better at possession during days i haven't practiced with her with active forcing (for example, i practiced something in a day in active forcing and i told her to practice possession even when i wasn't forcing with possession and a few days later when i tried again i actually NOTICED some improvements!!) but about parallel processing i am not so sure, also i wonder what other kind of exercises we can do with tulpas to improve parallel processing. (of course i will keep doing narrating and possession as usual and keep practicing).

 

Also to finsh i would like more suggestions of tests similar to this to check if my tulpa does or not have paralell processing, maybe that thing of she improving possession a few days is proof that she is able to do paralell processing after all ?

[LordV]

This looks to me more like a lack of practice than anything else. While I don't have a lot of experience with possession, I do have experience with being under practiced. Just about any time I try something new, my first attempt will be clumsy at best. Personally, I think that Pandora is just having some trouble getting used to using your body, and is concentrating more on figuring out how to use a physical form than on which key is which on the keyboard.

 

Hm... checking for parallel processing abilities? My strategy is just to ask Tammy to say something while I say or do something else. For example, I might recite a simple nursery rhyme or something like that, and she'll try to recite a different nursery rhyme. Note that she hasn't quite gotten the hang of this yet. I think that you need a pretty vocal tulpa for method to work, though, and I don't know how vocal your tulpa is.

[garland]

This looks to me more like a lack of practice than anything else. While I don't have a lot of experience with possession, I do have experience with being under practiced. Just about any time I try something new, my first attempt will be clumsy at best. Personally, I think that Pandora is just having some trouble getting used to using your body, and is concentrating more on figuring out how to use a physical form than on which key is which on the keyboard.

 

Yeah maybe, so far i stopped practising with the keyboard and i am now focusing a AMAZING method : now when i am trying to talk with her or trying to hear her, i just tell her that she bends my index finger everytime she talks to me mentally and to bend my pinky finger if i am parroting her instead, with this FINALLY i am able to have conversations with her with her mental voice because i am able to know which toughts are from her or not thanks to the fingers, so far i have noticed a lot less intrusive toughts this way, and i am kinda trusting her answers since most of them seem to be adequate to what i asked her and seem to make sense. (so far her mental toughts that she confirms as being from her and the ones that she says it's parroting still feel EXACTLY the same way so if it wasn't for the involutary movements of my fingers to confirm if its her it would be impossible to communicate with her).

 

There is still that eternal problem, every answer is very predictable it's almost like she always replys what i am expecting her to reply or that she is always pleasing me all the time without exception, even considering the fact that the finger bending is INVOLUNTARY and it's not me who is bending it. Altough a few times i got surprised by her so that motivated me to trust possession a lot more, i guess she has a lot more practise now :) (but i give up on the keyboard)

 

Hm... checking for parallel processing abilities? My strategy is just to ask Tammy to say something while I say or do something else. For example, I might recite a simple nursery rhyme or something like that, and she'll try to recite a different nursery rhyme. Note that she hasn't quite gotten the hang of this yet. I think that you need a pretty vocal tulpa for method to work, though, and I don't know how vocal your tulpa is.

Hum... no this kind of test isn't possible, but i can hear her talking sometimes in my mind voice other times in her mental voice, altough she confirms with the index finger that it's indeed her all those times.

 

But wait i found this test ( Tulpa Parallel Processing Tests v1.0) and indeed my tulpa isn't able to do paralell processing i think this is the perfect test i will just keep practising.

[LordV]

Yea, my tulpa isn't all that great at parallel processing either (neither am I, for that matter. We both sort of end up tripping over each other during these tests). I've had some trouble distinguishing Tammy's thoughts from my own a few times, but usually I can just ask her to clarify weather or not she actually said something. But usually it's pretty obvious for a number of reasons. One is that she likes to touch me (not in a perverted way), and will usually tap me on the shoulder or something when she wants to get my attention. The other is that her mind voice, while it wasn't always consistent, it has always been distinct from mine.

[Zer0.iNSaNiTY]

Omg, you know that weird count the balls parallel processing test? Forseen is a WHIZ on that thing XD It's kinda scary. I have the habit of subconsciously trying to count both side of the balls (idk why, probably screws us all up a bit, though both my tulpas always come up with a different number than I do for it so it's fine), and I remember we had a conversation that went something like this:

 

Me: Okai how many balls Forseen.

Forseen: 40.

Me: Really? I thought it was like, thirty-something.

Forseen: No, 40.

Me: Not 38?

Forseen: Just type 40 e.e;

Me: *types 40, 100% right* O.O WTH.

Forseen: I told you.

 

It's times that those that I feel awesome. ... and totally freaked the frack out XD

 

Anyways yeah, sounds more like a practice thing.

[garland]

I really hope so, i just tried again a few times now with my second tulpa, still the same results, he only got it right ONCE but the rest there is often a difference of 5-9 numbers between the number he chooses, so i guess this is just my mind trowing wild guesses, because he doesn't even seen to be in doubt ever which is not normal... i will keep practising but i hope that the wild guesses stop soon because this sure is frustating.

[Zer0.iNSaNiTY]

Haha, when I do it with Muse she's always doubtful XD Says I keep flicking my eyes to my side of the screen and can't count properly, so all her results are around 80-something percent. She can get 90-something sometimes though, which is cool. There's a lotta error room obviously, but I don't really doubt them cuz I rarely ever get 100% myself, so that probably has something to do with low-ish scores ^^;

 

Just keep practicing, everything with tulpa-making takes time and practice =w=

[garland]

Yeah! Now that you say it, it seems both my tulpas seem to be very slowly improving the scores, i definetly need to keep practising, i really hope this isn't just statistics flukes about them getting the numbers right, so definetly i will have to keep trying.

 

UPDATE :

Wait a minute ! I wonder something... i also usually hear music to my tulpas while doing other things on the computer, and since i am actually visualizing them hearing and paying attention to the music while i am doing other things... this means that this can also help tulpas a lot in paralell processing isn't it?? I even have my tulpas at the end of each music giving a rating of 1 to 5 by bending a finger of each hand so i presume this is great for paralell processing as well??