Cosh & Adi's Space

[Guest Riy]

I keep a Sherlock Holmes sized magnifying glass with me just in case cosh has an update :3

[Coshledak]

Replies

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Yori I know. But I mostly keep it for myself, so my primary interest is what looks aesthetically pleasing to me. If people want to read it, then it's pretty easy to zoom the page. Thanks, though!

 

Riy Aw, thank you. You know your responses mean the world to Adi and I!

 

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WEEK 2

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I've decided I'll probably have to start updating this thing by weeks because I don't have the time or energy after placement to update it every day like I was when I only had classes. Who knew being in the schools could tire you out so much? I'm actually going to type this up and take a nap.

 

Similarly to not being able to update this, I haven't had a lot of time to actively force with Adi. He feels like he gets more of my attention and focus when we actively force, which isn't wrong. I try to passively force with him at least a few times a day. The initial plan was to passively force on the way to school in the mornings, then actively force once before bed. This past week I think I managed to do that once or twice. Mostly it's vague attempts at passively forcing in the mornings, then getting in a brief active forcing session as I'm curled up in bed. It ends when I fall asleep.

 

The big problem with the passive forcing sessions is that I get hit in the head during the drive with all the stuff related to school that I have to do. So then my focus ends up going away from Adi, even if I try to cycle those things back to talking about him.

 

He about broke my heart on Tuesday (my last update), though, trying to contain my headache.

 

I came home today and actively forced with him, though. It went pretty well. At first he was all the way back in his bedroom, but I was so excited to see him that I just jumped on him and cuddled as I told him about my day and asked about his. When I realized my focus was starting to slip (when I feel like I'm talking to myself and not to Adi), we moved to the living room and sat on the couch. We worked on visualization. He was about as clear as he used to be. He just feels distant now. I'm going to work hard this weekend (starting after my nap) to build him back up again. I'm also getting more used to the schedule of being in the schools, so I might move my home hours around (earlier curfew) so I'm not so tired when I get home.

 

I also need to make him my first priority when I get home from school. Talking with him helps me to unwind and get my focus back, anyway, so I'm scratching "check all my websites" off of the top of my subconscious priority list. No excuses. Even if Adi's handling my distraction better than he had been last week, he was clearly moping, sluggish, and a little depressed today. I'm not letting him go down that road.

 

Might come back later with an edit if our second session after my nap yields anything!

[Yori]

Here are some things you may have already changed your mind on before I got to you, or were told already.

 

" I've never really been big on faith or believing in things that I couldn't see or feel."

 

Has your outlook on tulpa changed? I don't see how tulpa are comparable to not being able to experience something with your senses, or anything spiritual whatsoever. You /can/ see and feel tulpa, in your mind at first.

 

I could see someone who was skeptical of say, alternate personalities also being skeptical, but not describing their reasons for being skeptical in this way.

 

This isn't faith, at all - looking out for your tulpa to see if they are there, looking for the first signs of sentience. What would be faith is just assuming they are before you have reason to be too sure.

 

"This seems like a spiritual thing more than a psychological thing, but I can't really stake any claims on that at this point (or without study)."

 

Hmm, you don't need really to study much. All you need to do is seek what other people think they are doing. That is all that matters. If you believe they are doing something spiritual, that's you being spiritual, obviously. Since many people here see it as a psychological or neurological thing, just as things like MPD (but this isn't a disorder) aren't spiritual, there you go, this isn't spiritual, unless you're trying to make a meta tulpa (some people here are meta)

 

" Is it possible for tulpas to shape shift?

 

I don't mean deviation. Deviation, at least as far as I've read it, is personalizing the original design of a creator."

 

We mean deviation. Deviation includes deviating from the form your creator gave you. If you didn't give them a form, then it's not deviation.

[Coshledak]

Here are some things you may have already changed your mind on before I got to you, or were told already.

 

" I've never really been big on faith or believing in things that I couldn't see or feel."

 

Has your outlook on tulpa changed? I don't see how tulpa are comparable to not being able to experience something with your senses, or anything spiritual whatsoever. You /can/ see and feel tulpa, in your mind at first.

 

I could see someone who was skeptical of say, alternate personalities also being skeptical, but not describing their reasons for being skeptical in this way.

 

This isn't faith, at all - looking out for your tulpa to see if they are there, looking for the first signs of sentience. What would be faith is just assuming they are before you have reason to be too sure.

 

"This seems like a spiritual thing more than a psychological thing, but I can't really stake any claims on that at this point (or without study)."

 

Hmm, you don't need really to study much. All you need to do is seek what other people think they are doing. That is all that matters. If you believe they are doing something spiritual, that's you being spiritual, obviously. Since many people here see it as a psychological or neurological thing, just as things like MPD (but this isn't a disorder) aren't spiritual, there you go, this isn't spiritual, unless you're trying to make a meta tulpa (some people here are meta)

 

" Is it possible for tulpas to shape shift?

 

I don't mean deviation. Deviation, at least as far as I've read it, is personalizing the original design of a creator."

 

We mean deviation. Deviation includes deviating from the form your creator gave you. If you didn't give them a form, then it's not deviation.

 

I'm a skeptical person by nature. So when I say "faith," I mean that Adi is not standing in front of me. He isn't a "real" person. Not when I first started forcing, anyway. And the first few times I did force him, I couldn't feel him. He was just this incorporeal orb-thing that I talked to while he started forming. I'm comparing that to "faith" and "spirituality," not the idea that Adi himself is a result of faith or spirituality. He's just in the same vein of thought for me. That something needs to be real and tangible immediately for me to think of it as working.

 

Adi's not a meta-tulpa. Or at least, that wasn't my aim for him. I think what I said above explains what I meant.

 

I know what deviation means and what other people mean by it. I gave Adi a form, but he shifted around between them. Sometimes he was the young adult version, sometimes he was a kid, sometimes he was an orb. I designated the young adult version, the one about my age, to him, but he'd freely go between them and didn't settle.