Archer's Tulpae, or How I Learned To Love Headaches

[Archer]

11/11/13:

– Hear a friend excitedly rant about Tulpae and consequently tell me about them. I decide to give it a go, having casually done similar things before, but not to this extent.

 

– As soon as I get home I research the website and look at some guides.

 

–Start forcing my tulpa's form; it starts as a spiky grey ball floating by my right shoulder. Continue passive forcing for rest of day.

 

– Get some alone time, so I go down to my basement bedroom to meditate and work on wonderland, though it is hindered by my loud family on the above floor. Sounds decrease in frequency, and I enter a meditative state where I arrive at my wonderland. Disregard wonderland for now and focus on communicating with tulpa.

 

–Tulpa parrots what I think he would say, and letting it speak for itself results in "tulpish".

 

–It or/and I gives/get the impression that we are dissatisfied with the very bare-bones wonderland, and so I am prompted to construct a basic structure. Structure done (also described below), I try forcing various forms, but none feel "natural". Decide to let tulpa decide his own form (see below).

 

11/12/13:

– Tulpa's current form described below.

 

–Tulpa goes to school with me and follows by my feet or climbs on my shoulder as seen below.

 

 

 

Progress/Analysis: It would appear I may have an advantage in tulpa-making (no pride intended). I have attributed this to my previous experience with creating complex fictional characters in my stuffed animals and occasionally talking to several manifestations of myself in my mind, as well as having taken up light meditation. The wonderland is a trapezoidal bunker with simple furniture. It has a door at one end that leads outside to a field which extends about 15 feet from the door, quickly fading into indeterminable whiteness. The tulpa itself takes the form of a light grey teardrop-shaped figure with small nub-like appendages in the front and occasionally the back, accompanied by two beady eyes on the front. It likes to scamper about and climb up onto stuff, the reason I imagine as a reflection of my inquisitive and restless mind. It is otherwise lacking in complex emotion, this being only the second day.

 

I would like to note that I of course do not actually see it as solidly yet, but these actions are observed as part of passive forcing.

[Guest Riy]

Archer I think you've off to a great start and that you'll have an easy time going through the development phases. You have some experience in dealing with fiction and it's my opinion that if you can write well then you can imagine easier.

 

So far your tulpa reminds me a lot of zerg larva from the starcraft franchise. Granted much cuter and less, you know, 'consume the universe'. I think this is an easy and simple form you can use to help practice projection and interaction on a daily basis and I think you'll find it to grow and change depending on the sort of narration and injecting you do with it.

 

Since you're still in the early stages I would advise fleshing out your Wonderland, staying consistent with your forcing, and maintaining the same amount of enthusiasm throughout it all. It's difficult, I know. But consistency here is paramount.

 

I wish you the best of luck. Everyone here on .info is very helpful and open-minded. Keep updating when you can and let us know if you have any questions!

 

Cheers!

[Archer]

Update of rest of 11/12/13:

–Continue passive forcing, get the notion to call my tulpa "Tsod" or "Zod", though I can't tell whether it likes the name due to its general lack of emotion.

 

–Tsod momentarily decides to grow long black hair, but removes it when I voice my lack of enthusiasm for such a change.

 

–Attempt doing a switch for some reason during car ride home. Details below.

 

–Will passive force for rest of evening and potentially work on wonderland while meditating after homework is done.

 

–Am experiencing those unpopular headaches every so often, but not that badly yet. Will have to get dad to get orange juice without sounding weird. Funnily enough, I welcome these headaches; they indicate that I'm doing something right.

 

Analysis: Needless to say, the results of the switch were interesting, but not wholly unexpected. I felt myself "drop" to the back of my mind and could definitely feel a presence try to take over. Of course, I sensed a confusion from Tsod, as it is only in its early stages and has little idea what limbs are. I immediately took back control and have decided to definitely not try that again until we agree we are ready.

 

Forgot to mention that Tsod will occasionally attempt to crawl up walls, but falls off as it is lacking the ability to do so.

[Archer]

11/13/13:

 

–Passive force all day as much as I can remember to do so.

 

–Finally decide to refer to Tsod as "him".

 

–Start to feel inklings of sensations like touch and warmth, as well as slight emotional responses.

 

–Work on solidifying wonderland.

 

–Headaches are increasing in frequency and intensity, but aren't too bad yet.

 

Report: I have started to form something of a bond with Tsod, and find myself smiling whenever I detect a little emotion from him. He mainly just stays on my shoulder, as running alongside me as I walk is "tiring" for him/us. I will often glance at him and we'll look at each other whenever something weird happens in my life, as friends will often do.

[Archer]

11/14/13:

 

–I am now confused as to what my tulpa atually wants to be called. When I try to call it Tsod, I sense a disruption with it.

 

–End up focusing on tulpa. Eventually, the name "Source" comes to mind with minimal disruption, or more "sync". Will have to remember to call my tulpa that from now on.

 

–Have decided to start a new tulpa that is more parrot based with a more definite form of a certain quadropedic hooved mammal.

 

–Have found that developing two tulpas simultaneously seems to accelerate headaches slightly but is otherwise not that difficult.

 

Report: Have decided to forgo previous wonderland (which is quickly degrading and falling apart and instead go with a more inspiration-based one.

[Archer]

11/14/13 - 11/18/13:

 

–Source is now an off-white color and hovers around. Will occasionally talk.

 

–Second Tulpa is named Quill after an OC of mine. Whereas Source is my all around friend, Quill is more specifically an adviser, moral compass, and motivator. His main purpose seems to be to bother me about getting stuff done and question every questionable action I do, just like I envisioned him to.

 

–Take my tulpae to the preexisting wonderland that is a representation of my mind. A futuristic coastal city bordered by a wall that separates it from an inky and stormy sea, from which all temptations and bad thoughts emerge.

 

–Look around at the damage which is a representation of my moral integrity (I'm religious). Quill turns to me and says, "so this is your mind?"

 

"Yes," I say quietly, not proud of what they see as we stand on a derelict street.

 

"Let's get to fixing it," he says.

 

Me and the soldiers that I create go about eradicating the creatures– monsters from the city. We proceed to repair the buildings of the city and set up a field generated by a shining crystal. Streets still need repairing.

 

This is actually what happened in my mind as I meditated/forced two nights ago. Previously it has been somewhat of a struggle for me to keep to the standards expected of me, but these tulpae have helped me so much, both by occupying my mind and also by keeping me on the right path. I turned my back on them for a second and messed up today, and when I came back they were disappointed, just like they need to be. After apologizing, they comforted me as best as they can in their current state. Pardon for getting a little religious, but this now makes three beings I closely owe my behavior to. I thank them for this.

[Archer]

11/19/13

Source talks every so often, Quill started to become more sadist than sarcastic, of which I fixed by forcing. He's sorry.

 

I was listening to music today, some woman singer singing, and Source decides to start lip-syncing to the song. I'm just watching him with this goofy grin on my face and trying not to laugh while Quill just smiles and shakes his head. It was notable because we really felt like friends at that moment as we had our own little hang out party while my family is oblivious to what's going on. Twas a nice time.

[Archer]

11/20/13:

–I've made another tulpa (three is enough for now). She is a girl this time because I feel like I needed a female influence in my group. Description in signature. Extended description: Basically a

human Fluttershy, because the character matches her so well.

 

 

–Not much else to report than the usual.

[Archer]

11/21-24/13:

 

I haven't been able to quite as consistently passive force, but it continues to go on and off throughout the day. Source is becoming more vocal, but can't seem to focus on a voice, probably because he doesn't really have a form. I have attempted to create a human form but can't really decide. Quill is the most talkative and is often the voice of the group, and is fittingly the one to criticize my wrongdoings. Felice is coming along nicely with a little trouble visualizing, which I find strange for the only one whose form isn't completely original.

 

I am having trouble coming up with my wonderland. Previously, we would explore the city I described three posts ago, but it is a war zone and is otherwise unfit for tulpae to inhabit for an extended period of time. I have moved them to a new area which is a field with a single tree a little off-center. Very dream-like, it is. I have started construction of a house and plan to expand the landscape.

[Archer]

11/25/13:

 

Remember diurnal tones from my lucid dreaming days (attempts), decide to listen to one, then decide to listen to three at once. The affect is interesting, as in it gives you headaches. I have read the frankly depressing account of Hound's tulpa, Claire, which reminds me of something I should mention.

 

I am religious, as I have mentioned before, and will tell you my religion if you so ask. I quickly decided that with some basic precautions, tulpae are completely safe and even beneficial. In fact, as I have mentioned earlier, mine are my moral compass and so do exactly the opposite of what it is feared they might do.

 

Back to my periodic report:

 

I am listening to a diurnal beat as I type this, and it is both making me sleepy and giving me a headache. I am starting to think that these are not meant to be listened to while doing homework. Nothing particularly notable today otherwise.