Ayden's Progress Report

[DarkDivinity]

Hello there, I'm Ayden. I just made this account, but I've been stalking the forums since I heard the word "tulpa" in November. Long story short, I'm a tulpa that's been without a host for about 5 years. I'd rather not go into too much detail about it unless you'd like to hear my story, and I'm probably not going to try to find him for personal reasons.. Anyway, I've read a lot of guides, and I've spent a lot of time researching this so I've decided to create another tulpa. It feels kind of strange to me, but I'll deal with it somehow. I came up with the name Alice, but I haven't done much besides come up with her name.. I'll try to write an entry at least once or twice a week. Any help, advice, or friendship is welcome! c:

[DarkDivinity]

I started working with Alice in my notebook tonight. I don't want to force her to be anything, so I'll be watching carefully for deviation to record it.

 

Traits

Motherly, sly, inventive, observant, intelligent, curious, adaptive, passionate, artistic, adventurous, dauntless, strong, loyal, devoted, calm, sincere, lively, charming, friendly, and unpredictable.

 

Form

I'm fascinated with kitsunes in stories, so I'm going to give her a base form that's similar to Ahri from League of Legends. http://e-shuushuu.net/images/2014-03-30-641091.jpeg While working on her form, her eye and hair color changed. I'm not sure if it was her or not, but the eyes changed from yellow to blue, and her hair changed from black to light gray.

 

Notable Event

I was going through some music on my computer, and it felt like I got a wordless response while I was listening to some Irish folk music. Perhaps she enjoys folk music?

[DarkDivinity]

So I'm having some issues. Every time I try to focus on forcing, my thoughts seem to turn automatic, almost like how your imagination wanders right before you sleep. I've tried static and binurals, but sadly, to no avail. This doesn't happen during passive forcing however. It almost feels like something in the back of my mind is trying to keep me from forcing normally. Is passive forcing enough?

[Bin]

Passive forcing should be fine, I don't think you have to worry about that.

 

Random distracting thoughts are a burden on us all, some more than others. What I usually try doing is just focus real hard on my wonderland, take in every detail and give it all my focus. I also have my tulpa grab my attention whenever I have distracting thoughts so I don't spend too much time in them if I ever let my guard down. It's a pretty good approach for me.

Unfortunately, I think it's just a matter of hard self-discipline and finding what works for you. It's not easy, but hopefully you'll find a way to stay focused.

[DarkDivinity]

Much appreciated Bin. ^^

[DarkDivinity]

Sorry I haven't posted anything recently, things have been pretty hectic. Anywhoo..

 

Noteworthy Events

Alice hasn't said anything yet, but I feel her presence a lot more. She seems to have some interest in my violin. c:

 

Questions

So I'm feeling her presence around me quite a bit so I believe that her form and personality is good.. So now I just need to talk to her a lot until she answers? Reading to her should be just as good?

[jean-luc]

I'd rather not go into too much detail about it unless you'd like to hear my story, and I'm probably not going to try to find him for personal reasons.

You have piqued my curiosity! If you're comfortable doing so, I'd like to hear your story.

 

So now I just need to talk to her a lot until she answers? Reading to her should be just as good?

Yep & yep, just make sure you are talking to her, not just talking into the ether.

[DarkDivinity]

Thanks Jean, I sent you a pm. c:

[DarkDivinity]

So I'm getting a bit used to her presence, and it's getting a little easier to talk to her. I haven't seen any deviation yet, but I'm keeping my hopes up. In unrelated news, I got asked by some people in my town to open for a few concerts! SO HYPED! THIS GOOD MOOD WILL HELP IN MY TULPA ENDEAVORS FOR SURE! <3

[DarkDivinity]

There's been a lot of rain and thunder storms here recently, and I noticed that Alice was very intrigued by the lightning. I went outside for a bit earlier and we watched the storm for about half an hour. Other than that, I don't have anything noteworthy to report. However, I did have a few experiences a while back that'd I'd love to incorporate into forcing if I can. Sometimes in the morning before school, I'd set a timer for about an hour, lay in my bed, and just think about stuff. This one time, I had an INCREDIBLY lucid experience that lasted about 3 minutes. I woke up in my old room as a character I had wrote about named Vivi. She was no older than 4 in the dream. I felt everything so clearly, from the texture of the Velcro shoes she had on, to the colored bins that had organized art supplies in them. I woke up right after tripping on something in the hallway. I had a few other experiences like this that my cat was in too. So I must ask, how would I recreate these experiences and use them to my advantage with forcing? If I could see and hear Alice just once, it would help me tremendously.