Co, Chris and a9

[a937539]

Ah its been two months already.

 

After considering options we have started working on a few things.

Vocal imposition and Visual imposition and presence imposition.

 

So far we have chosen a voice, listened to it a lot and made an effort to hear it from different angles. At first nothing really happened, I started making progress by giving myself positive affirmation, "this is Co's voice, She is trying to tell me important things, I love hearing her" and so on. I encouraged myself to enjoy listening to hear. This is not a passive process, I have to actively think about what I want to happen and bring in how it makes me feel. We are making progress with it, She now talks at least with mind voice in the voice we have chosen, this is a good step. 

 

When I get discouraged she says "Relax you have the rest of your life to work on this." 

 

Visual imposition, I suppose I could continue to practice visualizing her forum. See the strands of hair, shade of her iris, the way her dress moves in the wind, the grooves in the skin of her hand. Sigh. I have noticed some static over lay on the real world, its very minor. But seeing something new is exciting. We just have to figure out how to use it properly. 

 

Ok presence imposition, I didn't consider working on this because, I can already feel her. I was wrong. We make a habit of choosing Tulpamancing guides or meditation guides and she reads them to me as a practice of Vocal imposition. {and the power supply fan on my computer just started to die, ugh} The one we were reading had the suggestion to focus on an external area maybe the spot next to you and focus on your tulpas presence being there then shift focus to imagining what it would be like if she were there she could be breathing, or I could reach out and touch her, or I could kiss her forehead, or become a true degenerate and hold her hand. You shift this focus back and forth while you tulpa does the same. Your tulpa focuses on occupying the spot next to you then shifts focus to  imagining what it would be like to sit next to you. 

The guide went on to say It takes the focus of the host AND tulpa to work on imposition. 

Co was confident she could do that, it surprised us both when we actually tried. Co can now "take control of part of the focus and use it" when she does I cant use that part. This makes a further distinction between us and I think its wonderful. I can feel when she "looks" at something or when she is next to me poking my cheek. She can also use that focus to watch body sensations while I watch the breathing during our meditations. 

 

 

Experiment to report: Sensory deprivation chamber

 

So I got a gift cart for my birthday to a sensory deprivation chamber and I went yesterday.

 

There was an oxygen treatment  before hand and Tea  after, It was a bit extra but I opted for the two hours session. 

 

I showered before hand at the spa and the water in the tank was skin warm. You really float in that stuff, a mixture of water and several hundred pounds of dissolved epsom salt, in about 12in of water I didn't touch the bottom. 

You wear ear plugs to keep the water out of your ears, they also provide a foam ring to help support your head.

 

When I got in the tank I kept twitching to balance, it took about 15min to relax enough for that to stop. Its dark, open, closed eyes you cant see anything, so cool. Don't get it in your eyes it stings. I had a small scratch on my hand and had to set that hand on my chest during the float to keep from stinging. The air in the tank is warm, and you can still feel the water against your skin, its not a complete sensory deprivation experience, but it close. 

 

We mostly focused on mental visualization, vocalization and presence sensing. and a combination of the 3. With the rest of the world blocked out it was easy to see things in my mind and hear her talking. I would say it would be effective tool but you would have to stay focused and alert. I got sleepy latter on and had to move my legs a bit to reinvigorate myself. It wasn't some magical enlightening experience but I could see my self going back sometimes. It didn't seem like it was two hours when the timer went off. I could have stayed longer, but I was a bit hungry and needed to use the restroom. Its nice because you can leave all you other bothers and distractions at home. You give yourself this time to focus on what you want, In my case it was quality time with Co.

 

Personal Progress below:

 

As for our meditation I am at stage 3 as measured by The Mind Illuminated going to start working toward stage 4 soon. It has been helping my focus and ability to notice when I loose focus on things and bring my attention back. It has also helped distance myself from some emotions and gives me time to consider a response. I want to develop this further. A user here has been helping me and visiting with about meditation, its nice to have a friend that's interested in this. 

 

I have been watching how much I eat and working out during the week I am to 187lb now,  so dropped a bit of weight since my last update but also gained noticeable muscle. I am targeting 170-175 by Fall through biking a bit of yoga and some body weight workouts.

 

Honestly what limiting me is time, I would workout longer and meditate longer if I had more time. When the weekend comes around I have a catch up list of things to do from the work week. I am considering moving closer to work to help with that, it would also simplify my life a bit.

 

Its addicting to see the results of your effort. Snowball that effort and build on the momentum, if you gain enough speed you can race up the mountain on the other side. 

 

Have a great day everyone.