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A few questions.


Melzer

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I've been working on my tulpa for a few months and he's vocal now. I usually ask him 'yes or no' questions because it's easier. The thing is that for a positive reply he answers 'of course'. Nothing else, not a 'yeah' or a 'yes' it's always 'of course'.

The last question is about replies. My tulpa likes to coment on things I do. Videos I watch etc. The things he says don't come through like speech it's more of a thought relay where he sends his 'thought' into my brain and I don't hear it I just know that's what he meant.

Is this a problem or will this change overtime as he develops?

For the past few days I've been getting songs stuck in my head. It's not like usually where it stays around and when you change the subject it fades away. I think my tulpa has something to do with this because the songs sit in the back of my head and play like a recorder. Doesn't matter what I do, they're always there. They change form time to time but there's always music in my head.

Is this caused by my tulpa? or is it just some nonsense?

 

Sorry if something doesn't make sense.

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I’ll just give two angles at this, but they may coincide with each other. Feel free to ask for more clarification on any points as well. TL;DR at the bottom, though I don't think that gives enough justice to a query of yours that has a lot of subjectivity, concerns over competence, receptiveness to your tulpa's thoughts vs. your own, and such.

 

#Perspective 1:

 

I can tell you that even after a few years with them, I still find something new every now and then in identifying them. It’s mostly moments where I’m not consciously scavenging for distinctions from them and myself is where I find those small holes of light, and go “wow, didn’t know you were doing that with me lately.”

 

It’s not really surprising if you’re getting a nagging feeling in your mind that your tulpa is communicating to you through nonverbal means because sometimes words alone aren’t sufficient to emphasize a point they’re trying to get you to acknowledge. I even got into developing methods that focused solely on me getting better at understanding them nonverbally. I guess it depends on what kind of person you are (e.g. visual, auditory), but there’s probably a lot more factors in that.

 

I had the same struggle with trying to filter out what could just be random recordings, or plays of music and even videos in my head from what my tulpa may be using as a medium to communicate to me. If you’re having a struggle trying to filter what may seem to be apophenia, nonsense, or genuine thoughts and responses from your tulpa, it’s just a matter of improving your ability to be conscious of how they define themselves in general, i.e., how they build their ontology.

 

You don’t have to militantly go on a quest to make a dichotomy between nonsense vs. your tulpa communicating to your non-verbally/verbally. Sometimes whenever we feel so unsure of what’s going on, and these things start creeping on us again and again, it’s easy to presume it could be our tulpas. It could very well be the case, especially if our conversations with them, and all the cumulative experiential learning with distinguishing our thoughts from theirs starts molding together in our daily lives.

 

One example of how I was able to identity a certain phenomenon from Eva was a certain female in real life. I always seemed to have a rush of thoughts, or some kind of insecurity towards this woman. I had all sorts of feelings for her, even though I knew things would never hit off well with her. The thoughts of hatred and attraction towards this female grew stronger and stronger, and by that time, I was already over her as well. It just hit me on why I still had those nagging thoughts, especially when I was fixated on other things, and I recalled that this woman is one where Eva felt insecure for personal reasons in the past for what the female called her.

 

It took me a few years just to figure that one out, and that was my fault for shrugging it off, and being passive about it. The thing is, it’s difficult filtering out what may be actions fueled by self-fulfilling prophecies, i.e., treating them as sentient vs. actions that are clearly not within the spectrum of what really makes you, you, i.e., ontology/selfhood/etc.

I don’t think there’s sequential models that can make you feel at ease with your concern, but I honestly feel one rudiment that can be built upon is the cumulative experiential learning you develop with figuring out the ontology/selfhood/nature of being of your tulpa. In other words, all that practice, speculation, navigation and such builds up into a totality where it’s pretty hard to not notice that it was clearly your tulpa, and not you.

 

You’ll go from:

 

“Crap, is this my thought or theirs?”

 

To:

 

“Damn, she’s done it again.”

 

 

Perspective #2:

Although there can’t really be sequential models and steps to help you with your concern consistently, if someone’s having a struggle with distinguishing their thoughts from their tulpas:

 

- It could be a sign that they need to practice consciously navigating and being reflective of their tulpa’s sense of self vs. their own as hosts. If it’s an action where you don’t question as much, it’s most likely your own, and if it’s something that’s completely out of the blue, it could be your tulpa, but don’t cling onto that until you’ve developed some experiential learning that creates the same phenomenon.

 

- But even with that, filtering out actions fuels by self-fulfilling prophecies (e.g. treating your tulpa as sentient, and wanting to feel as if it has to be their thoughts, so you end up behaving in a way to be consistent with that ideology) vs. things completely out of your awareness and control is difficult. It’s trial-and-error, and if it wasn’t, I would question why our sense of self from our tulpas would be so simple in the first place

 

- Sometimes it just knowing certain sensations, and whether or not you can control them easily, or they only seem to come out of the convenience for your tulpa who may use that as a nonverbal response (head pressures) rather than verbal

 

There’s a lot of stuff I can’t condense here, but I can tell you that this (distinguishing their thoughts from their tulpas) is probably something people will always be progressively finding ways to identify and improve on. I don’t see this as a limit or intimidation, but more of a joy to know that our tulpas, and ourselves don’t have to be constrained to just a few actions, behaviors, and thoughts.

 

Having an active mind and inquiring mind may be difficult, and you’ll need your breaks every now and then (I know that from the constant naps), but I guess it’s just a double-edged sword (if I’m using this correctly) when it comes to having companions in our heads. In other words, being receptive and having an inquiring mind to improve our communication with our tulpa (e.g. words, actions, and behaviors) can be mentally exhausting, but all that will be converted into cumulative experiential learning we can use to gradually feel at ease on which thoughts/behaviors/etc. are our own vs. our tulpas’.

 

TL;DR:

 

It’s not always nonsense, or something “wrong with me,” it’s just learning in motion; you just have to be reflective about it every now and then, but take things passively unless they start repeating without you militantly being conscious about it. Of course, this is just one of many rudiments I’m sure people have developed.

 

There’s more personal examples I have, but this would end up being a novel.

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