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She apparently came back?

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Some background info first.

I decided to make a tulpa more than a year ago. I was 13. Since then, she has said two things: "Yes?" and "Blue." I haven't been the best tulpamancer. Commitment is very difficult for me, and I could never choose a form that I could visualize. Sure, I can visualize, say, a sphere or a cube, but forms like that just seem so lifeless. I had given up once or twice and came back weeks later only to be a lazy slacker again.


You know how many people here say, "Don't make a tulpa if you are less than X years old"? In my case, they were pretty right. I try to force but end up getting distracted by my own thoughts. Many times, I have had lucid dreams where I had the opportunity to summon her, but instead I practiced my dream-flying skills.


But last night, I had a semi-lucid dream. My tulpa was already there. I don't remember exactly what she said, but I got the impression that she had been away and recently returned. She said things like "It's good to be back" and "I'm glad to see you again". She had a form that I had never attempted to force, a white-furred anthropomorphic cartoonish cat. I started flying like usual, and she rode on my back. I said something similar to "If I start getting distracted, say something." The dream lost its lucidity, and I didn't think of her again.


I just thought it was odd that she apparently came back when I never knew she left. I knew it was her since I've tried differently styled cat forms before, but they were all too complex.


Did she choose this form for herself? I don't think I could visualize it well at all. Why did she come back? How long ago did she leave? Is this a major breakthrough for us?

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Dreams help with a lot of things that may be difficult to actualize during consciousness. It's one reason an old semi-myth about tulpas is "don't fall asleep while forcing, the tulpa will enter your dream and spiral out of control!" - feel free to sleep whenever you want, but it is true that a tulpa can progress in leaps an bounds in a dream.

A tulpa seen during a dream is sometimes not actually the tulpa themselves, but the thing about the brain is that expectations have a close relationship with reality. If you attribute these actions to your tulpa, they will likely enter the tulpa's memories, making it so that functionally, retroactively, it was them.


The fact that you were not expecting it means the form was probably created subconsciously. Your subconscious can visualize anything it needs in a dream - if it can't get something right, you'll just be provided with the illusion that nothing is missing, and you won't know the difference. Thus, it may be a bit tricky to visualize what you saw in that dream again, during consciousness. You'll have more angles to fill in.


Anything in your mind has the potential to resurface eventually. It was likely chance. Or maybe you had tulpas on the mind, and that brought her back. Either way, it's a perfect chance to run with it, if that's what you want.

The above post does not contain facts.

q2's the host, QB's the tulpa.


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