Introduction and questions (especially rootwork/conjure practitioners!)

[Mojo]

Hi all!

 

I'm new to the board, and after hemming and hawing a long time about where I should post I ended up deciding here was better, given the subject matter, and seeing some past posts that are semi-related (I almost jumped on polarbearcub's thread but i don't feel like we're quite in the same ideological boat, as it were.)

 

Quick background; I'm female, working full time while finishing up a degree at university, and my personal life is currently a bit stressful and chaotic, but in that 'first world probz' way that I can't bring myself to complain much about.

 

I was raised baptist in the south, no longer religious in any organized fashion-- but I do have a personal interest and a light practice in rootwork. I'd hesitate to call myself very magically minded, tbh I generally do things like floorwashes and candle work for psychological reasons. (I find it soothing, and it reminds me of my Nana, who although was a card-carrying speaking-in-tongues bible quoting baptist also swore by always sweeping the house outwards and rubbing whole chicken eggs on you for all manner of complaints.) My feeling has always been if magic actually does real then it's a nice bonus, but not the focus, per se.

 

So, as I was starting my last year of university, I decided to make a mojo bag to take with me to tests. (Hell, if people do it for gambling, why not? My tests often *feel* like a gamble anyhow.) The mojo went fine, and anecdotally I do feel like I do better on tests when I have it (I won't discount the possibility of placebo, but again, I sort of approach it from that angle normally anyhow.)

 

Why am I blabbing on about this? Sorry-- during some research I noticed one writer mentioned naming the mojo bag (I think ostensibly to keep multiple bags straight in your mind?) but I thought it was a nice idea and focused on the bag a bit before the name 'Francis' came to mind, and it ran with it.

 

So on days I took Francis to class along with me, I got in this habit of talking to him. (I've heard of practitioners doing this with poppets, but I've personally never made a poppet.) But when I wasn't toting him around somewhere, or feeding him (you can occasionally anoint mojos with oils, smoke them with incense or in Francis's case I usually dripped some nice bourbon on him) I would forget about him. Note I'm calling him a 'he'-- as time went on, he started *feeling* male, and I got a sense of presence/personality as opposed to the sense of an object, like when you talk to your car or a misbehaving appliance. He's also begun to just, uh, be 'around' a lot, it's like there is someone following me around most of the day regardless of wether or not I have the bag physically on my person. Additionally, he seems to have rudimentary reactions to things; mostly just a sense of positive/negative, maybe an occasional word or image.

 

I've sort of failed to deal with what is going on for a few months, as I've just had so much on my plate and because I didn't have any sense of reference for it. It struck me as weird, yes, but tbh I'd grown to like talking to him to decompress.

 

I wrote him off as a sort of self-soothing measure or some other mental weirdness but I was on /x/ maybe a month ago, and happened onto a tulpa thread (I'll come right out and say I always skimmed past them before) and ever sense can't shake the feeling that this might be something that I need to look into.

 

TL;DR I made a mojo bag a year ago and it might have accidentally tulpa'd from me talking to it/treating it like people? I searched the threads to read about 'accidental tulpas' (seems a lot of them are characters gone awry or past imaginary friends) but couldn't find anything *quite* dealing with my situation. If I did miss a similar post I'm very sorry.

 

Any rootworkers or conjure people around these forums who might be able to give me some insight? Have you ever had entities just show up and hang out? Should/could I safely smudge or do a seven day wash or something just in case of ghost or bad energy? Also, generally bags aren't kept when no longer needed, and I'm graduating soon, so under normal circumstances I think the thing to do would be to burn/bury/cast it into the river to free up the energy, but I'd feel pretty awful if it's a thoughtform thats somehow attached to the bag itself and I hurt/killed/destroyed it by disposing of the bag (since best case scenario it's a little split off part of me and worst it's like a little proto personality I'd be murdering.) I didn't think asking other practitioners in conjure communities was the best bet in this particular case because the vast majority of rootworkers are also Christians of some stripe and I think I'd get a ton of 'it's a demon!!1!' type responses-- which is fine, but I would have to politely decline any suggestions to pray to Jesus about it.

 

PS Sorry this is so long! I felt like I needed to provide some background since my personal practice is a little weird and I didn't want to make a "I tulpa'd. What do?" post. Thanks to anyone who read this spiel and I welcome advice whatever your personal practice/belief may be!

[Enoch327]

I am not sure what exactly you are asking. I think there can be accidental egregores. Like the Nutcracker or the Velveteen rabbit or Pinnochio. Now what happens when a servitor dies or is retired or whatever? My personal feeling is not much. I take water out of the faucet and fill a sink with it. I wash my dishes with it. Where does it go when I am done with it? I suppose it goes ultimately where it came from. There are those in our field that believe a servitor should be given a funeral when its purpose/time is over. I am not one of those. Trust me, if you want Frosty the Snowman to come back he will come back. Where is Zeus now that next to no one worships him? He is still there, still powerful. And he waits to be of service again. I am not sure I have helped you, but I am glad you are here. There are others who can chime in with more comments.

[sushi]

I am familiar with rootwork and mojo bags, but not from personal experience. I personally am skeptical and atheistic, and I'd be more inclined to say that you have a tulpa. You're right that most of the threads on accidental tulpas have nothing to do with you. What you're actually looking for is more like this:

 

Just prior to age 8, I realized just how lonely I was, and on my 8th birthday, (along with an electronics kit that would eventually spark my interest in digital logic and henceforth programming), I received a stuffed snake. Within the week, I was conversing with this snake as an outlet to whatever I needed to talk about. He became as real to me as any other person. Looking unto this snake, even now, I see not the tattered, ragged old body of a stuffed animal, but an actual consciousness, one as real as anyone else.

 

I'd say go through with the smudge or the seven day wash, or whatever you need to do to feel safe. If he is a tulpa, he will not be harmed. I know of someone else who worried that his tulpa might be an evil spirit. He was advised by his hardcore Baptist family and pastor to get rid of the tulpa, and initially he did. Then a long time afterward he thought back on it.

 

It was around the beginning of June that I was rereading 1 John that I once again arrived at 1 John 4:2.

 

"This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God,".

 

As I read it I had a eureka moment and finally knew why it has seemed important. I hurriedly checked my transcript of The Final Conversation and confirmed it and sent my hypothesis to my pastor.

 

A short explanation:

 

In The Final Conversation I replied to Claire saying, "The Son was not about to sacrifice himsel-." When I was thinking that in response, I briefly thought of Jesus Christ instead of Abraham's son, Isaac.

 

Claire's response,"YES HE DID. NEVER DENY THAT!" was a rebuking of the implication that Jesus Christ did not die on the cross.

 

By that logic, Claire is on record as testifying to the fact that Christ did come in the flesh and that he did die on a cross.

 

Of course that may not apply to you, judging from your background. But yeah, do whatever you need to do to feel safe, and then keep him around if you wish. And it might be neat to ask in those conjure communities too. I'm sure this has happened before. From everything I've heard and read, whenever you talk to something long enough, it will start to talk back.

[Mojo]

Thanks for the replies Enoch and Sushi! I think you're both hitting on something similar, that it most likely has most to do with the amount of thinking I've 'spent' on him rather than anything else. You've also both made me feel better regarding what I should do from a 'metaphysical standpoint.' I'd probably call myself a firm agnostic, but I still try to respect and adhere to the rules of the stuff I'm messing with, as much for my 'personal karma' as anything else. (I guess that is to say since I'm more interested in the internal altered states of religious practices that the worry is not for actual, say, malignant entities so much as what beliefs about that sort of thing can do to one's mental space? Eeek, how meta of me. -_-)

 

So based on your responses and what I've been reading I think I'll go ahead and dispose of the bag after graduation as planned, though I might see if I can get some kind of response from him on it before I do. I noticed at least one user has tried ouija-ing, so I might try some more traditional approaches such as I've seen in the FAQ/tutorials along with perhaps some automatic writing or pendulum stuff. I suspect having that extra 'barrier' between yourself and the thoughtform might create interesting results (heck that's probably why 99% of those sorts of phenomena ever work!) I feel like trying to get his opinion is the least I can do, since I think he's been good for my stress-levels, if nothing else.

 

If anything at all interesting comes of it I'll report back, and if I decide to stick with him I'll probably start a log. I generally record this type of stuff in a journal, but if there might be a small chance I can add to the body of knowledge I'll happily do it. (: