I'd like some input

[WizardMassacre]

This isn't exactly an "it this a tulpa" question, but I guess it's similar.

 

For as long as I could remember, I had sort of an imaginary "friend." Well, we weren't friends, I just...didn't like it. It's hard to explain, and my memories are getting a little foggy.

 

Anyway, it was just something I created fake scenarios with to help me go to sleep. Eventually, it would start happening in class, at home, etc. (during the day). So, I tried to stop thinking about it, but I just couldn't. For some reason, I guess I got attached to it, and I always got a nagging feeling in the back of my head to "pay attention" to it.

 

It got so bad that all of the scenarios I imagined with it had to do with me torturing or killing it (I was a fucked up kid, for lack of a better term) as an attempt to get rid of it. But it still kept coming back, and I started thinking it had some sort of control over me (I had a very active imagination; although I didn't even think it was "real" or "sentient").

 

By the time I was about 10 or 11, it ended up stopping, but I think I was scarred. My greatest fear to this day is being trapped/not being able to get away from someone.

 

My question is: what happened? Is there some sort of psychological term for this incident, or for the "imaginary friend" I (sort of) had?

 

Thanks.

[Guest Anonymous]

You see, the brain is a tricky little thing. Once you fear something happening, you subconsciously program (for the lack of a better term) yourself for it to happen.

 

For example I had a time that I was afraid to go schizo from this tulpa stuff. Guess what, most vivid tactile/audio/visual hallucinations in my life. Also most scary ones. I was really worried that I was loosing it.

 

So while that imaginary friend of yours had all the stuff to become a tupper, it wouldn't just appear outta thin air until you would start treating the replies that would come from him as something from outside you cranium. That and a few months of focused concentration on him.

 

But yeah, It's best to stop worrying about that or your subconsciousness gonna bite you in the ass.

[bunny-boi-lover]

It's hard to say with this one. Children's minds are different from adult's. Fantasy more easily blurs with reality, and in some cases it's hard to determine whether a child's "imaginary" friend is even imaginary at all. As we age our minds become more grounded to this reality as we know it and we're able to see other worlds less and less. In this case it may have only been an imaginary friend your mind created. Or it could have been another being intruding your thoughts that as you aged had less of an influence on you. The fact that you say you stopped seeing it around 10 or 11 leads me to believe either one.

 

Not sure if we have any psychology people on this board, but if so I hope maybe they'll get in on this. Otherwise, we do have a metaphysics and parapsychology board that may offer some explanations, if you're open to that way of thinking.

[WizardMassacre]

Thank you both for the feedback. I don't think that it was a metaphysical incident (I do believe in that stuff, but I always try to find a logical explanation first). I'm not sure if it was my brain tricking me, however, because I didn't think that I'd be "trapped" at all. Looking back on it now, though, I realize it did feel like it, but it wasn't a fear that came true, it just happened.

 

As a side note, it wasn't really imposed. It was purely in my mind (even in my own wonderland, how about that). I had only started doubting its fakeness when I couldn't get it away in the first place.