CreamKitty July 4, 2015 July 4, 2015 Hah sorry about the title. Anyways, hello! My name's Cecil, and this is my little progress report on creating my tulpa. I am not that far into creating my tulpa, only really starting today, but this is what has been going on so far: I currently have about an hour and a half put into visualising my tulpa. He is around 10 feet tall, has pitch black skin, long claw-hands, and legs that come down to a point without any feet. His face consists of 2 circular, pure white eyes, and a large jagged mouth that is also white. Earlier, after about a 20-30 minute visualising session (this one being my second one) (probably not the correct term hah), when I opened my eyes, I swear I could see a very faint outline of him. It was mostly just his head and shoulders, since thats what I was concentrating on visualising, and he was missing his face, making me sortof realise I wasn't concentrating on that part all too much... Oops. I am unsure if that was actually him, since at that point I only put an hour into visualisation. It could have just been some sort of pattern in the texture of the wall in front of me, but what makes me sortof doubt that is whenever I looked somewhere else, I could still see it. Also, a small question, when I'm working on visualising my tulpa, is ok to sortof have a "sketch" of him in my mind, and build up on that like how you would with a drawing. Will that "sketch" become a part of his form and/or have negative consequences in the future? I'm sorry if there's any incorrect vocabulary or grammatical issues. Any tips and/or advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks! Host: Todd - Agender - 07-23-1999 Tulpa: Toby - Male(?) - 07-04-2015 "Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds," Progress Report
CreamKitty July 4, 2015 Author July 4, 2015 Entry #2 (day 2): Not that much to write on today. I have about 3 or so hours put into visualizing my tulpa, and I'm planing to have 2 more 30 minute sessions today to bring that up to 4 hours. I'm hoping to put at least 2 hours a day into these sessions. I have noticed that the face of my tulpa is very hard to visualize, even though it is pretty simple. I think for my next 2 sessions I'm going to try and focus on getting the face down. Again, any tips and/or advice is greatly appreciated. Host: Todd - Agender - 07-23-1999 Tulpa: Toby - Male(?) - 07-04-2015 "Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds," Progress Report
Stevie July 4, 2015 July 4, 2015 Also, a small question, when I'm working on visualising my tulpa, is ok to sortof have a "sketch" of him in my mind, and build up on that like how you would with a drawing. Will that "sketch" become a part of his form and/or have negative consequences in the future? No. Do whatever you think works, there's no random negative consequences for stuff like that, dude. I have noticed that the face of my tulpa is very hard to visualize, even though it is pretty simple. I think for my next 2 sessions I'm going to try and focus on getting the face down. Again, any tips and/or advice is greatly appreciated. Faces are pretty hard. Some people say that studying anatomy helps, but I've found that if you just don't focus on it, soon enough your visualization skills will get good enough on their own that it will more or less fill in itself. At least, that's how it worked for me. We're all gonna make it brah.
CreamKitty July 5, 2015 Author July 5, 2015 Ahh alright dude! Thanks! Host: Todd - Agender - 07-23-1999 Tulpa: Toby - Male(?) - 07-04-2015 "Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds," Progress Report
CreamKitty July 5, 2015 Author July 5, 2015 Small update: I started to read a bit of a book to my tulpa (which I have decided to name Toby), and when I started, I felt a small, warm pressure in my head. It's not exactly what I imagined when people mentioned their head pressures, but hey, it's something! After I'm done reading a chapter or two of this book to Toby, I'll have my two visualizing sessions, and unless something else exciting happens, I'll update again tomorrow. Host: Todd - Agender - 07-23-1999 Tulpa: Toby - Male(?) - 07-04-2015 "Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds," Progress Report
CreamKitty July 5, 2015 Author July 5, 2015 Entry #3 (day 3): I'm starting to get Toby's form down really well. I have started to work on how he feels too. It's odd, his skin texture, if you can call it that, feels more like like a nice, cool, dense mist. It's weird, but I like it. I've also noticed that whenever I read something, even if it's not directed at him, I feel a pressure in my head. It's a lot stronger than yesterday's, and is more focused on the right side of my head. I am unsure if this means that he likes me reading to him or not, or if it's just a small headache that I'm getting from working my mind too hard. When I tried to ask him if he liked me reading to him (head pressure for yes, no head pressure for no) I didn't get a responce, which I'm asuming means no. I just tried to switch the answers (head pressure for no, no head pressure for yes) and I got a very faint head pressure, though no where as nearly as strong as before. I'm in a bit of a pickle right now. Since, seemingly, Toby doesn't like being read to, is there any other activities/passive forcing that I can do with my tulpa while he's this early in developement? Host: Todd - Agender - 07-23-1999 Tulpa: Toby - Male(?) - 07-04-2015 "Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds," Progress Report
CreamKitty July 7, 2015 Author July 7, 2015 Entry #4 (day 4): Well, interesting things are happening today. First, whenever I go to "feel" Toby, his skin texture is always different, first being the dense mist that I had mentioned earlier, then being a more natural, soft human skin texture, and then going to a more glass-like feeling. Is it normal for a tulpa to go through different changes in skin texture? Anyways, second interesting thing that happened today is that whenever I listen to Panic! at the Disco, I always seem to get head pressures from Toby, and they're especially strong whenever This Is Gospel plays, which also happens to be the song that always seems to play whenever I'm actively forcing with Toby. I can't tell if these are intrusive thoughts, or if they're coming from Toby himself, since it doen't seem to get much in the way of my active forcing, no matter how "loud" it's playing. And lastly, and probably most exciting, Toby moved on his own! While I was, again, doing some active forcing, I noticed that Toby's hands weren't down by his sides as usual, and when I looked up at him, his hands were up by his chest, almost as if he was protecting himself from something (which made me super worried because I think I somehow managed to scare him??). I had not controlled this in any way, and while it's not that big of a movement, it's still something! Host: Todd - Agender - 07-23-1999 Tulpa: Toby - Male(?) - 07-04-2015 "Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds," Progress Report
CreamKitty July 9, 2015 Author July 9, 2015 Entry #5: Sorry for not updating yesterday, it totally escaped my mind. Anyways, yesterday, I believe I had gotten an emotional responce. I had pulled an all-nighter, and at around 7 AM it started to rain. While I usually don't care much for rain, for some reason I felt really calm and happy, and it helped me fall asleep. When I woke up, I asked Toby about it and he seemed to confirm that it was him. I had also started narrating to Toby a lot. At first it was really hard to come up with things to talk about, but it has become a lot easier over time. I'm VERY excited for when he becomes vocal. Finally, his skin texture seems to have settled on feeling like glass. Though, interestingly, despite feeling like glass, its still very flexible and squishable. The only parts that really feel like solid glass are his claws and the ends of his legs. Host: Todd - Agender - 07-23-1999 Tulpa: Toby - Male(?) - 07-04-2015 "Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds," Progress Report
CreamKitty July 9, 2015 Author July 9, 2015 Not really an update, but I thought It was a bit relevant. I don't know, I'm just messing with Toby's facial expressions hah He doesn't have pupils, but idk I thought they'd add a bit more to his expressions. I may actually give him pupils if I'm not totally creeped out by how they look on him?? Hah idk Host: Todd - Agender - 07-23-1999 Tulpa: Toby - Male(?) - 07-04-2015 "Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds," Progress Report
CreamKitty July 12, 2015 Author July 12, 2015 Entry #6: I can't seem to 'find' Toby. Every time I try to force, I have a really hard time visualizing him, and I'm not getting any head pressure responces from him. This has been sort of going on since yesterday. Is this normal? Or have I done something that made Toby not want to be around me? Please help! Host: Todd - Agender - 07-23-1999 Tulpa: Toby - Male(?) - 07-04-2015 "Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds," Progress Report
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