My Quest for a Spooky Head Ghost

[Actinium]

Entry #6: I can't seem to 'find' Toby. Every time I try to force, I have a really hard time visualizing him, and I'm not getting any head pressure responces from him. This has been sort of going on since yesterday. Is this normal? Or have I done something that made Toby not want to be around me? Please help!

 

Well, you're still early in development so this might be part of the reason this is happening, and tulpas are usually very compassionate with their hosts so unless you purposefully tried to hurt him repeatedly, I don't think he doesn't want to be around you. Try asking him what the problem is and see if you can read his body language next time you visualize him.

 

Worrying about these types of things tends to either not make it go away or get worse. Try to not focus on the problem too much and try your best to visualize. As for the head pressure responses, maybe he was too tired to pull one off. That's what I went through, but it isn't what all tulpas go through as each tulpa is unique in their own way. Try looking for things that he might like and see if the head pressures come back. Good luck, and happy forcing. -Haven

[CreamKitty]

Entry# 7: I found Toby again last night. Thanks Actinium for the advise! Anyways, last night something VERY exciting happened! Toby actually spoke! It happened around 5 or so in the morning when I was singing This Is Gospel to him. He actually sang along to the lyric "Their gnashing teeth and criminal tongues conspire against the odds," (I can't remember if he said the rest of the verse or not). I got a HUGE head pressure when it happened, and the voice was completely alien from my thoughts. His voice was very gentle sounding, and sounded like it came from someone in their mid teens - early 20's. Not really what I expected his voice to sound like, but hey, we can work on it if he's up for it. I haven't gotten him to really talk since then, at least not without it feeling like it's just something I parroted.

 

I've also tried to be more laid back with letting him move, since up until this point I've been sort of feeling like I've puppeted a lot of his movements, so everytime he did move I'd revert him back into his default standing pose. Now, everytime he moves, unless I REALLY think I puppeted it, I let him do it. We did a few things together in our wonderland, mostly just me narrating and laying in the dark grass with him.

 

I really need to work on our wonderland, since when I suggested that we go explore, a LOT of the areas were just voids of white. Maybe I'll try to focus on those parts for my next visualising session.

[CreamKitty]

Entry #8: Well, something happened today that I didn't really expect. Toby deviated. A lot. Like, I expected Toby to deviate from his current form, but not THIS much. Anyways, what happened was I started my forcing session, but in place of Toby was a blonde haired boy, maybe just a bit taller than me (I'm 5'4) wearing a plain white shirt, ripped jeans, and a pair of canvas shoes. When I asked if he was Toby, he gave me a bit of a shy smile while gesturing to his body. I can't really describe the feelings I had towards th djis (mostly because I forgot what my initial reaction was. Curse my goldfish memory.) but I'm not complaining. He also seems to be able to switch between human form and his "monster" form at will, but I can't really tell if I puppeted this or not.

 

His personality is also starting to show more. He seems to be pretty laid back so far, and has something about him that screams 'total dork' about him, but I can't pinpoint what exactly is making me think that. Maybe its the constant big crooked smile he has, or maybe it's something else. No idea hah.

 

Sorry if this is written terribly. I'm on my phone and Its a pain to write on this thing.

[CreamKitty]

Small update: Holy shit. I just tried to do a forcing session and it took a few seconds to find Toby, but when I did he was facing away. When I approached him, he quickly turned around and his face was all spooky, with black eyes and white pupils, and big sharp scary teeth O-O it looked like something straight out of a horror movie, and I swear I could even hear a piano bang or something when he did this. It scared the shit out if me and I quickly stopped the session. I can't tell if I subconciously puppeted this, or if Toby just wanted to spook me for some reason, but I think im gonna try again in a few minutes... After I recover from the heart attack he almost gave me.

[CreamKitty]

Small update #2: having trouble visualizing Toby again, and I'm not getting any head pressures, even when listening to Panic! At The Disco.

[CreamKitty]

Ok well, it has been QUITE a while since I've posted here, hasn't it?

 

I haven't been working on Toby since my last post, unfortunately. I had been meaning to since then, but never got around to it, though he has always been on the back of my mind.

 

Sort of for old time's sake I guess, I decided to listen to This Is Gospel while thinking of Toby, since I actually really miss him, and I actually started to have head pressures! I am unsure if this is just coincidence that I just happened to get these head pressures while listening to This is Gospel, but when I went to a different song they went away, and when I went back to TIG, they came back. So if I were to guess, it may be Toby.

 

I'll definately try my best to find some time out of my daily routine to tulpamance again, but since school is starting soon, that may be a bit hard...