Fade And Her Head-People

[FadingSpectrum]

[Exempt]

[sushi]

~ Is it bad that I made these guys while young, and “accidentally” in a sense at that? I was fourteen when I started this stuff, and I'm sixteen now. I don't think it'll be bad, but I wanted to check.

 

No, it's not bad. I can probably name at least ten people here who made their tulpas at half that age.

 

~ Is the fact that I have six going to be detrimental? I try to give them each as much attention as I can, and I know having them is going to be a lifelong thing.

 

There are people who have many more. Six is relatively reasonable compared to some people.

 

~ Any tips on switching and possession would be lovely.

 

I never spent much time on it. I wouldn't be able to tell you anything that isn't in a guide.

[FadingSpectrum]

Thanks for the input, Sushi. That's a relief. As to possession, we'll just have to keep working it out and going through guides then. Already making some progress.

 

 

Log Session Two

 

IRC Chat Quotings;

Fade{AndTroy} : Does... anyone here have tips for possessing? We haven't been sure of how to proceed with it

Inky[Heidi] : What I've heard is that you want to give them control over one limb, at first - probably your dominant hand/arm.

Imagine your essence leaving the arm, and leave it still and ignore it.

Imagine your tulpa's essence entering it

And after quite some time, your tulpa might start to move it.

 

Happy (late) 'murica day.

So, we had some time to relax on the Fourth and decided to get back in the swing of things. After getting some stressing summer homework done at Troy's insistence, that is.

Demetrius utterly despises fireworks. The sound of them, really. The same as the last July 4th, he spent a lot of time wearing earmuffs.

 

Imposition Workings;

I was bored a bit this morning while sitting through breakfast at IHOP, and Troy suggested trying imposition instead of stabbing the pancakes I wasn't hungry for into a fine mush.

Since there was an empty table across from me, we tried projecting Troy into sitting at it. Actually, I found the visualization part relatively easy. I did a similar thing back when I was a kid looking out the window of the car; I liked to imagine things following the car around. Usually fantastical creatures or Pokemon. So it wasn't too hard to imagine Troy sitting there, for the most part. He moved kind of choppily, though, and speaking was strange. We couldn't get his voice to sound like it was coming from outside my head.

Troy also wishes to note that large wings make sitting down in chairs that aren't stools uncomfortable.

 

Possession Workings;

I feel like a lot of our problems with possession has to do with me thinking too hard about it, coupled with the fact that we are just plain new at this. For a while today, three of the tulpae decided to work on it with me, Troy, Medea, and Demetrius. Najere wanted to watch, but not try.

 

A few threads recommended using symbolism to help with disassociation. So to try and keep me from thinking too hard on it, we decided to come up with an in-wonderland process that would feel like an adequate way to enact the possession. We went through the guides again and considered a couple ideas before finding one that those who wanted to try switching liked.

I've mentioned that our wonderland has a computer before. It's a rather large one, and has lots of fancy buttons on it as well as several floating monitors. Not the sort of thing one could have in real life. When interacting with my tulpae in wonderland, I have a habit of sitting at the chair in front of the computer and talking to them. It's kind of where I always start from when I go into my wonderland, sitting in that chair. Sort of like a mission-control center.

 

We decided it would be simplest to just have me get out of the chair and let the one possessing hop in. Medea thought it would be best to modify the chair a bit too; it now looks kind of mechanical and hooks up to the computer too. Essentially, we've gotten it so it's like the cockpit one might pilot a giant mechasuit from. Feels right to me.

This envisioning-design-thing helped me disassociate with my body better, I think. Troy, Medea, and Demi each took turns in the chair and we worked on trying to get them to take control of my right arm. The results are meager in a sense, but pretty damn exciting to me. My arm felt kinda numb like the last times Medea and I tried possessing, and the three each had varying success in getting it to move. Medea managed to flex my fingers, while the other two at least made it twitch.

 

Pretty stoked. Will update next time I have something significant to add to my logs.

[FadingSpectrum]

Log Three

Been a while since our last update. Not sure what intervals are good for updating, but I'd guess it would be “whenever you have progress to share”.

Am a little more at ease here now. I've been learning that there's other people who've naturally formed tulpas, which is neat. Probably should've been a bit more thorough with my initial lurking. Then I might have known that and not been so uncertain.

I've also been berated once or twice for using “tulpae” instead of “tulpas”, and after looking a bit into it, “tulpas” seems to be more “correct”? So, I'll start saying that instead of tulpae.

 

We've been forcing actively pretty regularly, but after a bit of progress with possession, dropped trying it and imposition for a bit because real life got hectic. I think until we get possession down, trying out actual switching will be way out of our league.

Before we took a break from possessing, we actually did get some neat progress. Troy, Medea, and Demetrius were able to move my arm, if kind of jerkily. It also seems that whenever they try to take the controls, I get a few small twitches. Nothing big, but enough to notice.

 

A few days ago, Troy managed to possess both of my arms at the same time. He spent a lot of time complaining about how cold it was and how one of my arms itched. I wasn't sure of what to make of the itchy part at first, but once we were done and I could feel my arms again, I realized I had a new mosquito bite.

Switching isn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. It's a bit strange, but doesn't feel as “alien” as I wondered if it would. Still, it's odd, having someone else make you move. Even if they're in your head anyways. I think us comparing possessing to controlling a mecha made it easier to work it, and more comfortable. We've tested with breaking control and how easily I can do it; really, really easily is the answer. To the point where maintaining control is harder than

 

Today we had a lot of free time and made some of the most interesting breakthroughs. It took some time to get to it – about half an hour – but Demetrius got to full-body control. It was pretty twitchy at first, and he wasn't really that great at co-ordinating everything. Ended up banging my hand against the wall by accident. I got nervous and snapped back into control when my younger sister opened the door to my room.

 

Demetrius' Input: Physical bodies are complex and hard to move and pain hurts. Uhm, gonna also add that Fade's sense of touch is way stronger than I took mine to be. It's weird. And her hearing sucks. That's all. Night.

[FadingSpectrum]

Log Four

{Fade forgot to post this, so I'm doing it. On an added note, I indeed like this particular kind of bracket. It is mine now, and I have claimed it as my own.}

Just wanted to talk about something. I was on the IRC chat the other day and someone told me about the SCP website. Or, at least I think it was about that. For all I know, they might have meant a different website. I typed it into TV Tropes – because that place is awesome and will show me the best of anything and everything.

Anyway. I have kind of a bad record with reading creepy or disturbing things. The night my sister linked me to the creepypasta website for the first night was a night I stayed up until five in the morning hiding under my covers. And heaven forbid if any Eldritch Abomination came for my soul that night, as I would probably be ready to strangle them on the spot out of internal panic.

 

Naturally, the SCP website was a lot more inherently terrifying, as it doesn't feel as cheesy as the creepypastas often do. Plus, the writers of those things are actually GOOD.

Which was why I kept reading. After the point where I got a little afraid of turning off my computer because it would get dark, Medea and Troy started interfering with my reading. They can't take control of the body without permission, but they were able to make my hands twitch enough for me to notice. We then had a long chastisement session talk in which I was convinced to stop reading the {damn} stuff {for real instead of giving us a promise that only lasts until the next time something potentially unpleasant catches her eyes, I hope}. Four kitten videos and some time to breathe later, I felt safe enough to turn off my lights and was able to go to sleep.

I stayed up until four this time even with help. Note to self; Stop reading creepy stuff before bed.

{I believe a better moral is “Listen to Troy more often”, but that works.}

 

 

~~~ {She uses these odd squiggles to separate things when writing. I realize that it reminds me of my brackets, upon further consideration.}

 

 

{Log Five

GREETINGS. GUESS WHO.

Troy, in the case that you did not guess.

 

We have accomplished possession, of the full-body sort. Fade is trying to hang back and not seize back control, which is what she seems to be in the habit of doing whenever we attempt this.

Immediate observations are that she is terrible about keeping her room a reasonable temperature. I have had to adjust her air conditioner a few times and make a clumsy attempts to put on a robe. The robe in question is fuzzy and pink Oddly, typing is not quite so hard. There is more muscle memory for it. Keeping track off all the damn tabs she left up is hard. I closed them down when they were not interesting to me nor relevant. The activity level of the IRC chat is thankfully partially visible because the... Damn. The top of the computer-window-for-Open-Office is partially translucent.

I am uncertain of why Fade is taking so much amusement in all of this.

Her hair is rather annoying. It gets in her way if it is not behind her ears, and if it is, it feels wrong to me. A haircut should be called for, I say.

 

I am not sure of exactly what else to log. She told me to log my observations. I suppose I have done that? I am told this is adequate.

Goodnight then.}