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I'm glad you're doing well, Tewi. 😊 🐰

Doing well rotation

I'm glad you're doing well. 😊 I'm also happy for Chloe. 😁

I'm doing very well! ☺️ I am still so so happy for Chloe! 😁

Good evening, Simmie! 😊 How are you today?

Good evening! ☺️

Either way, I wish you luck, TB. 😊

I don't think they will automatically unlock a new method of therapy by hearing about it unfortunately, they probably just can't help you (therapy-wise, they might be able to help with other things, I dunno)

After they do another round of asking me the pros and cons of interacting with someone, or weighing the good outcomes vs bad outcomes, or saying how everyone feels anxious sometimes, or asking me if i dwell in negative thoughts, or convince me to think more optimistically about interactions or whatever generic stuff therapists usually do, i tell them that i've been through all this and it doesn't disarm that defensive exhausting feeling i still have to deal with in social interactions, and that the only thing i think was actually working towards maybe doing that was IFS therapy which is why i would like to try it, and wish i had an IFS therapist. they usually then say a little blurb about how ifs therapy is about getting your inner parts to talk to each other, but i always have to say it isn't really like that. he says he thinks what IFS therapy accomplishes can be accomplished by other therapy methods, but idk what to say to that, it isn't being achieved by whatever he does. i then offered to send him link to that blog so they would maybe have a better idea of how it works, though i don't really trust them to employ it well, but maybe if they understand it helps me and they can't do it, that they might finally fit me with an IFS therapist or something

Why again? Are you trying to get them to practice a type of therapy they're not trained in, or just talking about wanting to try it elsewhere?

double end page defeating post today's therapy session was more about trying to get therapist to understand what IFS therapy is and at the end i sent them a link to blog post written about it from my IFS therapist and meditation teacher. so hopefully they can finally understand it and not try to just convince my defensive nature to go away with words which doesn't work

Lizard 🦎

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Glad you're doing well. 😊 Driving for Uber Eats sounds interesting. Bre is Gru, good note, lol.

we're doing good. gonna do driving for uber eats

I'm doing pretty good. 😊 Nightfall is doing some drawing. ✏️ How are you?

hru?

Lol, just like Pokemon Go. Good morning, Ice! 😊

gm

Bag Pokeballs Throw Great Ball Edit: dang, it fled

A wild post appeared!

no it's definitely taboo even without context of having drank in the past, that just makes it even worse. when i mentioned it seems to be the most taboo medication, she seemed to agree i think through body language or whatever she might have said, i don't remember there used to be a big epidemic of people getting addicted to them long ago when they used to be prescribed very easily. like anyone could go to a doctor, not even a psychiatrist, and say they have anxiety and get xanax immediately. but doctors don't do that anymore because of how common it is people get addicted to them. and xanax is the most addictive i think for some reason, but paradoxically for me they are the least addictive in the sense i don't take more than i need because it actually works for me even before i had a medical history record of drinking, i've had doctors that just have xanax as an absolute no. like entire clinics that have it in their rulebooks to not prescribe it under any circumstance because they don't want to be held responsible for anything bad that happens to someone being prescribed it

I don't really know much about Xanax being taboo, and google's AI summary doesn't mention much (no more than it does for ADHD stimulants anyway). I think it was "taboo" for you because you were at risk of drinking while on it, which is really bad. If you don't drink now it should be fine

wow i just manifested xanax and the ability to take them how i choose. i thought the ACT program would refuse to allow me to take a medication on an as needed basis but she said i can do that. also she seemed to not be changing the vyvanse and wants to keep it at 40mg since i said my heart rate doesn't raise as much as it used to. i still wonder if 30mg is better but i guess technically i can just divide the contents of capsule into dose i need for a particular day i had no expectation i'd actually get xanax but when discussing anxiety meds i've tried i told her several that failed, i wasn't going to mention xanax, she asked me if anythings worked, i said just xanax for some reason even though it is the most taboo benzo, she asked if klonopin sounds good, i told her not really; only xanax works, and so she is allowing me .5mg of xanax twice a day as needed, and any that i don't use i guess i would turn into whoever delivers my next set of meds i also asked her to stop the zyprexa because i don't really like it, i liked the previous version of zyprexa better but they both still have same issue of extreme tiredness. she seemed somewhat concerned about there not being exactly a med on my sheet to treat the schizoaffective disorder on my sheet, but i told her i don't quite understand how i got that diagnosis and told her i have told doctors i hallucinate in the context of sleep paralysis which is normal. i don't know if she agreed or still found it strange. she just said that's scary and said something about looking at it later and we'll talk again in a month to see how i'm doing she also recommended latuda. it's also an antipsychotic... i remember feeling pretty good on it i think, but i told her it lowers my coordination if it is the one i'm thinking of. she said she's never heard that one before, but i don't think she said it in a suspicious way, just more surprised or something she seems quite nice. i feel a little uncomfortable because i had to talk about the tabooest prescribed medication on the earth, xanax, but objectively it was a good interaction and i'm glad she trusts me enough. she seems like an understanding doctor like my previous one was. though even my previous one wouldn't re-prescribe me xanax because presumably more relatively recent drinking, recent compared to when i had the other doctor, but it's almost 2 years now so i guess they aren't as concerned i don't know why i feel a little weirded out still. i guess i'm just so surprised. i think yesterday i considered mentioning xanax worked in the past without expectation to actually ask for it, just putting that out there knowing it'd be shot down, but i decided against it and wasn't going to even mention it unless she brought it up or asked something that would require me to mention it i am hoping i can use xanax as a weapon to slice through the mire of social anxiety and finally finally get past this wall preventing me from engaging on social networks as a drawer and getting interaction then. i also know in the past, it can help me with drawing things i avoid drawing because intimidated to try i'm also smart enough to know to never ask for a prescription increase. what they've given me is already more than i would normally take if i had a choice in how much to be prescribed a month. if taking it isn't having the same effect as before, to me that's a sign to stop taking it so tolerance goes away, but that has never happened to me before. i don't take large amounts of it or take it multiple days in a row edit: hmm dang, i almost would be curious to try latuda again but appointment is over. i remember feeling really good with it, but yeah i couldn't play videogames anymore with it. it didn't lower my coordination in a general sense you'd notice just walking or something. maybe her past clients weren't major league gamers so they didn't discover they now have an inability to play high level competitive videogames like dragonball fighterz and such where you have to make deicisions and precise inputs in fractions of a second