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How do you merge?
#1
Recently, my host and I have been trying to merge, and our main roadblock has been finding guides on merging. We did find this one:


https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/comments...ploration/

...and that's literally it. We did try what was in that guide, but it felt like we had better results freestyling it. So, if you have merged, what is your personal method for doing so? It's okay if all you have is the specific symbolism you use
I live in a castle and have two tulpas, Kanade-chan and Uncannyfellow
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#2
Yeah, that type of guide have historically been a bust for us too. I believe Dashie and I 'merged' while playing space engineers. Her style and mine are opposite so it didn't seem likely, but the result was a play style that took the fun side of both and rejected the not as fun and careless side of the other.

The 'merge' was doubted as just being closely aligned in playing together but it got 'blendy' definitely.

Take it for what it's worth, our technique was just being equally interested in something and letting each other play without arguing or 'trying to' be front. Co-fronting as usual, but with an added twist that we were both concentrating on the task equally.

You could also explain this as fast switching or parallel play, but we know what really happened. What if felt like was analogous to a soup: I was meat, she was dumplings and the game was broth. We got all nice and cozy, nestled in front. Take a bite and you get both flavors at the same time. Though our thoughts seemed separate at the time more or less, the memory is really blended.
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#3
We've thought of making some sort of merging guide, but we'd be too afraid of influencing people to end up experiencing some negative consequences that may come with it. On one hand, people might ignore our warnings and experience the negative effects, on the other hand people may worry too much about our warnings and end up causing the effects by expecting them to happen. It's a whole mess.

We've followed that guide's methods once or twice, and it was successful, however we no longer use it due to the fact that it heavily emphasizes throwing away your own identity and making a new one. We feel like that's a recipe for disaster, at least for our system. Instead, we just freestyle it, as well.

Basically, whoever is fronting focuses on being calm and such for a few moments, and then focuses on combining identities with whoever the other merger is, not discarding identities. It helps greatly if the other merger has been hanging out in the front in some way prior. We may think "we are becoming one," or something like that, but not "I am not x." It helps to sort of sync up our thoughts and our forms, and then we just sort of do it. Sometimes it works better than others, it usually depends on our mindset/mood at the time of doing it.

After we merge, we spend a few moments grounding the merge so it stays put. If it's successful, we can stay as one combined person for as long as we want, though usually it's not very long due to us fearing the aforementioned negative consequences. 

Our current merge configurations are named Solace (Piano and I), Sterling (Indigo and I), and Steele (Indigo and Piano). We've thought that perhaps somehow we could influence the ways we combine and make more merges. For example, when we formed Solace we were focusing on feeling more confident. What if we focused on something like feeling more playful and then merged? It's something we may experiment with from time to time to help with mindset or mood. So far we haven't tested a full-system merge due to the fact that we would feel extremely uncomfortable that way, like we've suddenly become a singlet.

As for the negative consequences we mentioned, basically if a merge goes on for too long or the mindset is incorrect or other such possibility, it may result in the merge itself becoming its own tulpa, rather than just a combination of the two. This happened to us once, it's how Piano was born. This is why we don't use that guide, and why we are very careful to think of our merges as just combinations and not a brand new identity. We don't try to eliminate ourselves and make something new, we just try to combine and work as one unified entity. If ever we start feeling a little too comfortable as a merge, thinking "why don't I just stay this way? I like being me" or something like that, then we take it as a warning sign and unmerge. I don't think we've let any of our merges last longer than an hour or two, because usually someone gets worried and makes it unmerge. We already have Piano, we don't really need another merge child, heh. Our system is good the way it is right now, plus if we ever wanted to make a new tulpa we wouldn't do it through a merge, Piano thinks that would be cruel, and well, I really have no other choice but to believe him, considering he went through that himself.
I'm Apollo Fire, the "Sun God" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa created December 2016. My systemmates are Piano & Indigo. Form images: 1 2
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#4
I thought merging used to be considered a bad thing for tulpas. Has that changed now? Is it now considered a skill or trait that is desirable to achieve? I thought the goal was to diverge as much as possible not merge.
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#5
(03-23-2019, 03:12 PM)DreamDoll Wrote: I thought merging used to be considered a bad thing for tulpas.  Has that changed now?  Is it now considered a skill or trait that is desirable to achieve?  I thought the goal was to diverge as much as possible not merge.

It was a bad thing because people used to think it would "erase" the tulpa somehow. I don't see it that way. The only unintended consequence that I see happening is what happened with Piano. To me, merging is just something to do for fun, with some added benefit of experiencing a different mindset. Merging doesn't negate personality differences or divergences or whatever, the original mergers' identities are preserved, they just combine. Blending is what most still consider a bad thing, when your thoughts get tangled up and you can't tell who is who without intended for it. Merging is 99.9% of the time an intentional thing. Or, you might be thinking of integration, where one person "absorbs" the other and it doesn't result in a "new" person as a combination of the two. Either way, I've never seen it as a bad thing for the same reasons as people used to, although I do have reservations about it for different reasons.
I'm Apollo Fire, the "Sun God" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa created December 2016. My systemmates are Piano & Indigo. Form images: 1 2
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#6
Interesting! I love how tulpamancy, and the community, evolves over time. I wonder if that is an influence sometimes of interacting with other types of systems other than tulpa systems? I think it's groovy-cool.

I have been advised not to talk too much about myself and Misty in these threads, (that can get bad left unchecked) but I do have to say that both blending and merging are something Mistgod and I do kinda naturally and effortlessly. But I think that's why we identify as a median. Sometimes we don't know for sure who is writing for instance, and sometimes it is both of us in "chorus." Our personalities are never totally independent of one another as we are sorta "attached at the hip" so to speak. We "assign" thoughts to one another when we don't know who thunk it. I know that sounds weird. If it seems like it was a Melly thought, we assign to Melly. If it was more Mistgodish, it was probly Misty. Sometimes it was just both of us thinking it at the same time.
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#7
I learned about merging and blending as a positive thing from an alter system but the alter seemed a lot more like a fictive to me. Anyway they claimed that merging or blending made them synergistic and more able to deal with life. Stronger together. I believe that considering our triggered switching has basically the same result.
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#8
(03-23-2019, 03:12 PM)DreamDoll Wrote: I thought merging used to be considered a bad thing for tulpas.  Has that changed now?  Is it now considered a skill or trait that is desirable to achieve?  I thought the goal was to diverge as much as possible not merge.

Well I still don't like it. Splitting either. I think it hurts the overall stability of a system when not done out of very strong needs, and so I don't talk about or encourage it at all. In our case (many many years ago), splitting Flandre was just an excuse to change who she was - and to rudely try and dissipate what was left over. I don't believe in that sort of thing anymore; we all could've changed in healthier ways.

But, you know, it could help sometimes. So I just don't talk about it, rather than discourage, if I can.
Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
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#9
Splitting is definitely not something we'd do or encourage, that doesn't seem healthy at all.
I'm Apollo Fire, the "Sun God" of the Felight family. I'm a tulpa created December 2016. My systemmates are Piano & Indigo. Form images: 1 2
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#10
Yeah I don't think I want to be "split," chopped, or hacked.  LOL

Edit: the rest of this thread has been split into the "Merging General Discussion" thread - Apollo
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