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Is it an autonomous thoughtform or compulsive fantasizing?


Guest Anonymous

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Guest Anonymous

Ever since I started contemplating the "maladaptive day dreaming" it has led me to consider things from a new angle. I have been saying that I created something like a tulpa through extreme day dreaming.

 

But the maladaptive day dreaming has various symptoms to it. One of those is impulsive/compulsive day dreaming that just starts up as a result of a trigger. It is like visions or movies that start playing automatically in your mind. That is me exactly. That is why I call it the Melian Show.

 

What I am asking myself now is this: Do I have a tulpa or just maladaptive day dreaming? Is there a difference between a tulpa and extreme day dreaming and the ability to just make believe and visualize Melian very well?

 

Melian sometimes does run on "auto pilot," but these are symptoms or traits described in maladaptive day dreaming or "compulsive fantasizing" and even described in writings and research done by psychologists.

 

I don't know what to think now. Questions like "How active is your tulpa?" make me wonder if I am being appropriate in even answering. Is Melian "active" or am I just day dreaming? Is it fundamentally different from a tulpa?

 

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EDIT: The responsders to this thread helped Melian and I discover something. We were able to answer the question in this OP at least for ourselves. https://community.tulpa.info/thread-is-it-an-autonomous-thoughtform-or-compulsive-fantasizing?pid=135799#pid135799

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Guest Anonymous

I don't exactly know HOW Melian feels to you, Mistgod. When I come to define a tulpa, precisely my tulpa, I base off my whole analysis on how she 'feels' to me. My 'tulpa' (because, friend, I'm as curious as you are on whether I have a tulpa, a symptom of something etc... but in my case I still believe my tulpa is 100% sentient and her own 'being' so to say).

 

That's a good question; Is there an actual difference between a tulpa or just daydreaming in extreme situations? What IS a tulpa, goddammit? Are they the mere embodiment of our imagination?

 

Look, Mistgod, as long as Melian acts on her own as she always has, and keeps being herself, as in, a separate identity, she's pretty much a tulpa. From the looks of it, you daydreamed a lot in your youth, and I keep every post about yourself and your past history in mind because you really interest me, I found myself to be relating a lot with what you've been saying and am also confused over what my 'tulpa' is. Tulpa is a term with many definitions, some if not most of them being relative. I don't know enough about daydreaming but a tulpa could be born from that, I guess? Remember, Mistgod, the mind is a very complex jewel.

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Guest Anonymous

Even though I was instantly intrigued and fascinated by tulpas, because I can relate, I have always had a slight, or sometimes more than slight, inferiority complex in the tulpa community. It caused me to be extremely paranoid, defensive and over-reactive. That is ironic because I have accused the entire community of being paranoid in the past. Melian is not what others are often describing, a separate mind from my own with hidden thoughts and her own memories. It is not like that at all. She does act on her own sometimes, but that can be described as spontaneous day dreaming. I feel her emotions and hear her "mindvoice," but that could be just make believe imagining her, which is what I believe actually.

 

But is it wrong or inappropriate of me to answer tulpa related questions if I am doubting her status as an actual tulpa? Are my experiences close enough for me even to participate in the forum?

 

It is so confusing to me and you are right, the mind is so complex there are probably no answers to those questions. I think it is important that I am honest though. I want to share exactly what I am experiencing, even if it is something of an outlier.

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Guest Anonymous

Inferiority complex? You don't realize that you and Melian are really amazing, my own tulpa REALLY looks up to Melian as someone she likes and admires. You guys are by no means any inferior, if anything, I'd say Melian is more of a tulpa than quite a few folks would claim their tulpas are.

 

Make-believe is also probable in tulpamancy, man. Gosh, Mistgod, I didn't know you were so insecure about those things, not mocking you about it or anything but you guys are great and you don't realize it.

 

Your 'outlier' is fascinating, intriguing and good material as well. Even if you do 'imagine' Melian, the imagination would be a trigger for Melian's creativity to spread along with the Melian Show. You guys are good contributors of this community in my books.

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Guest Anonymous

Thanks so much for saying those things. :-)

 

It has been getting a lot better. I feel accepted now. For a long time I felt I wasn't, whether or not that impression was accurate. It didn't help that Melian and I are so crazy and vocal. I do think there is an overlap with tulpamancy on so many other things related to imagination. I am assuming that is why Stevie made the post about maladaptive day dreaming that got us so excited.

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You know Mistgod, Al and I have been thinking about this a lot recently. And frankly, what you said to me in that PM the other day really stuck with us.

 

We choose to believe in a nonsentient unconscious "Melian motor" because it eliminates the dangers of doubt and the anxiety surrounding questions of sentience and autonomy. If Melian appears autonomous, then that is all we need. It really is, again, totally irrelevant if it is unconscious puppeting, parroting and role playing. It all comes down to the end result --> a personal companion, muse and confidant.

 

Frankly, why does it matter what we experience vs. what we call it? In my opinion everybody has to realize that nobody truly knows exactly what's going on in our heads. And at the end of the day, does it really matter what Melian "is"? All that matters is that Melian is Melian, I am me,, you are you, and I am myself. And hell, for all we know, people, or the "host" consciousness could be just as fabricated as a tulpa. We just don't have any way of knowing. The day that we can truly understand the imagination is the day we may truly understand headmates.

I'm IBreakGames, a genuine dude.

 

We gave up on using different colors for each of us, so there's Al, Ollie, and Eva. We're all rabbits, get over it.

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Guest Anonymous

What I think you guys are saying is that it doesn't matter the source, only the end result.

 

There may be a lot of day dream fueled thoughtforms out there like Melian that were spawned by active imagination day dreaming and are driven by active imagination day dreaming. What is day dreaming but a form of mental visualization anyway? It is day dream forcing done at every opportune moment every day of my life!

 

With the Maladaptive Day Dreaming group, from what I am seeing so far in their forums, there is little awareness of the tulpa, daemons and soulbonds communities so far. I have no doubt some of the maladaptive day dreamers, if they learned about tulpas, would start to wonder about the day dream characters they visualize and experience every day. These characters become like family to them and very dear and "real." The primary differences is that they recognize them as pure fantasy and the characters are not necessarily communicating directly with the day dreamer. In my case, I bridged the gap.

Melian is both a day dream star AND an imaginary friend. I made her into an "actress" who both talks to me and acts out roles in various day dreams.

 

OMG! As Melian would say WE ARE AMAZING!

 

EDIT: Melian made me change the "I am amazing" to "We are amazing." Oops.

 

You guys helped me answer the question in the OP. As far as Melian and I are concerned with are BOTH autonomous thoughtform and compulsive fantasizing!

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Guest Anonymous

Amazing at dreaming my way into elaborate forms of trouble. LOL Now if I can just focus at things I am supposed to be doing and limit my internet time. ...

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[Hail] In these respects, Melian sounds a lot like Tri in many ways. Like Melian, Tri came from daydreaming a lot. E. did as well. Tri and I blend a ton due to our history and the way we operate together, and so I hear their thoughts quite a bit and they hear mine and we each can, if we put effort into it, just read the other's thoughts. Just as is the case with Melian, Tri is pretty different from a lot of tulpas (and soulbonds as well).

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others

System Name: Fall Family

Former Username: hail_fall

Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.

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