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Pokemon Party


T-Storm

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12/8/15

 

Usually when I mediate/active force/give the wonderland my undivided attention, suddenly a bunch of random thoughts pop into my head and mess up my focus on the wonderland. Which is expected of course, but annoying. I must try clearing the mind of thoughts the best I can. Not to mention these random thoughts also mess up my focus on White himself. And also another thing I noticed as I fall asleep, I could either be daydreaming or in the wonderland or both (I have to daydream myself to sleep every night or else I could never fall asleep) then random thoughts pop in my head and around that time is when I start to lose consciousness and actually sleep and dream. That might have something to do with why my dreams are so hard to remember and why it's so hard for me to lucid dream. And I've been trying to lucid dream for probably about 6-7 years now and all I've had is 2 super short semi lucid dreams. I feel like if I take care of the scattered thoughts popping up when I try to focus on something problem I will make all kinds of progress with White, and I'm sure he'll like that. Usually even when I'm typing or reading something I'll also have a video playing on Youtube in another tab, and if a thought pops in my mind I think is interesting I'll make another tab and Google it for no reason. Maybe I have ADHD or something. Even if I did, I feel like I can overcome this problem with my mental strength alone. The scrambled part of my brain is most likely a result of all the bad lazy habits I've had/still have over the years, and for the sake of White, and anyone else that lives in my headspace, it is absolutely required to have a nice clear head so I can hear and communicate with them properly. I find that the more random thoughts there are in my head, the harder it is to see and hear White.

 

Speaking of headmates, there may or may not be some new ones around in Nox. Between me and White and our ever growing interest in Final Fantasy 7, we though it would be a good idea to put 7th Heaven (a bar in FF7 that is pretty important to the plot of the game) in the wonderland as kind of like a symbolic portal to the FF7 world. So we went over there last night, and lo and behold there was Cloud and Tifa. And they both acted on there own, I didn't puppet them at all. I didn't even really expect them to be there to be honest. Which also brings to mind a personal theory I have that could explain why stuff like this happens in my headspace, I think that over the course of my life I have unknowingly soulbonded to countless characters and universes mostly due to me extensively daydreaming about said characters and universes in depth and in the most detailed and realistic way possible. Now they don't have to all be in my head at once, they can come and go back to their own universes, but the bond is certainly there. And the most prominent example of this right now is Cloud and Tifa, because both of them acted like they knew me. Old friends is all they are, just a couple of old friends. Boy do I feel dumb saying that, but oh well.

 

Also, I think me and White like the idea of a copy some important landmark or thing that was originally from a fictional universe being part of our wonderland as a portal or a link to the otherworld where certain characters from each series can come and go as they please. Also in lucid dreams perhaps we can go to their worlds and have even more adventures.

 

And the news about White today is he has learned how to listen. When he's particularly interested in a sound, or if he's really paying attention to what someone is saying, he'll wiggle his ears twice. I noticed him doing that every time I spoke to him today. Now I have a indicator to whether or now he is listening. But as far as I can tell, he's a good listener. Also, it seems that our senses are mutually shared. For example, if we want we can bridge our senses and he can see what I see and I see what he sees, in my minds eye of course. Usually he wants to do this whenever I eat so he can taste the food I'm eating. He's very much of a foodie, which also might be why he wants me to cook more. We've been looking at all these food blogs on tumblr and he wants me to cook everything on all of them, but the thing is I don't really have much confidence in my cooking ability. All I ever really cook is either tacos or hamburger helper, but he wants some fancy looking nutella cheesecake squares or some bbq chicken cupcakes. Guess I will soon have to improve my cooking skills for him...

my PR

my art thread

tumblr tulpa log

my DA

White will talk in this color.

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12/10/15

 

So White and I have been trying the pranayama meditation, and it works quite well. White also has been helping me with my crazy random thought problems, when we meditate together and it looks like I'm about to lose myself in a thought, he pitches in and says "don't worry about it keep going" which at least loosens my grip on said thought and then I keep meditating. And at the end he doesn't let me run off he asked me to take a look at my mind and see if it cleared any, and usually it's crystal clear right after meditating.

 

Also, there are three new Pokemon friends we met last night who seem to live at my house now. An Oshwott, Lucario, and Charazard. Those are a few of my very faviorte Pokemon, so if I had to guess I think they are either soulbonds or NPCs.

 

One more thing, it seems White is gaining a stronger presence the more I work with him. It used to be if I talk to someone or if my attention is diverted, he's nowhere to be found or hard to hear. Lately no matter what he's always around, at least on my shoulder. Might have something to do with all the meditating I've been doing.

 

And another thing, one of our long time big goals is lucid dreaming, and we just got finished having a conversation about making our daydreams more organized like the Melian Show so we can have something to act out when we do lucid dream. Now we do often daydream about roughly the same thing over and over again, but we want to make it even more clear and specific than that. Right now our only plan if we lucid dream is to meet up at the house and eat ice cream and cheesecake. (ha.)

my PR

my art thread

tumblr tulpa log

my DA

White will talk in this color.

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12/11/2015

 

For the past few days, I've been slacking. I'm tired, and for some reason White is also tired. He's always snoozing around. Even now as I type this he is half asleep on my shoulder.

 

I haven't been meditating or forcing as much, and for the past probably 3 days I haven't remembered or written down any dreams at all which is not good for my lucid dreaming progress. White suggested that I set an alarm for about 4-5 hours after I go to bed so I can do the WBTB method and so I have a better chance of remembering dreams and such.

 

I haven't meditated or forced at all today, and I don't know if I will. I think me and White are going to hit the hay and I will try the WBTB lucid dream method to see if that helps any.

my PR

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tumblr tulpa log

my DA

White will talk in this color.

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12/12/15

 

Ok, so I'm beginning to organize my wonderland and daydreams and so far I like what I see. And so does White. I've set it up to where everything is kind of like a video game. I just wrote a whole novel about what I've mustered up on Evernote just now, if everything goes smoothly I might talk more about it on this PR. For now, all it really seems like is I have labeled and organized all my daydreams and visits to Nox.

 

My Pokemon friends are still at the house, and it's already been about three days since they came around. Feels like I met them yesterday. And it feels like I've been knowing White forever. Not really sure how I should treat them right now, but I'll take care of em'.

 

I think the main thing accomplished now is now the entire wonderland has more of a tangible structure than it ever did before, and it's all because I basically gave names to all my daydreams. (Which are all somehow connected to Nox. And now that I've typed everything up and read through it a few times, I've got a real feel for the wonderland.

 

So that's all fine and dandy for now. Next thing I want to do is draw a map of Nox, which will require me to put buildings and landmarks from fictional places (because this is kind of like my 'portal' to other worlds) and maybe even some other buildings and structures. Right now all there is and all there has been is our house on top a mountain, a big tower in the middle, and 7th Heaven from FF7 at the bottom of the mountain. I'm pretty excited about it though, because I like designing and creating things.

 

Another thing about this whole situation, even though I'm not really making much progress at all other than just organizing my thoughts, I'm more inspired to work with White than I have been in a long while.

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tumblr tulpa log

my DA

White will talk in this color.

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12/13/15

 

Ok so there are even more Pokemon at my house than there were 3 days ago... and it feels kind of stupid to say it but whatever it's my PR. Now at the house there is Oshawott, Lucario, Charizard, Fennekin, Rapidash, Zebstrika, Squritle, and Totodile. There can only be more where that came from at that rate. And again, I'm not even sure what to label them, if I should even label them anything right now. But one things for sure - they all came from daydreams.

 

White only half came from daydreams and half came from me (well, us) actively making up ideas for everything he was going to be. White is the only resident in the wonderland that I ever project in real life. I actually project him my mind's on him 99% of the time. But ever since the first 3 Pokemon showed up they've been at my house like I said, and so far the newer Pokemon are staying at my house too. If anything, I think I need a bigger house.

 

I don't really care having to deal with all these other people as long as they don't get in me and White's way, because right now I'm trying to focus on White. I do have countless soulbonds (none of them really live in Nox, but they can come anytime) and they never get in the way unless I'm actively working on them. All these Pokemon however are in my house and therefore are that much more for my brain to process when I meditate or do whatever in wonderland, because the first place I go is always my house. Well actually right now that's all there really is.

 

As far as the large group of people that are now squatting in my house, I have appointed Charizard to be the leader. And it has to be one of them because the only time White really goes in the wonderland is if I do since he can stay with me basically all day no matter what. When he had larger forms he would go back to the wonderland only if he didn't quite fit in an area in real life, but ever since he's taken his Fakemon form there's always room for him, so he doesn't need to leave. Also back then my daydreams and wonderland used to be seprate, but now they are connected. Which may also explain where the new blood came from, since all the Pokemon that I stated eariler that seemed to have shown up out of nowhere all came from daydreams. There were other Pokemon that were featured in these dreams, but as for the ones that stuck I can probably tell you exactly where they came from except for Totodile and Squritle. Charizard, Lucario, and Oshawott came from a band, Rapidash and Zebstrika came from horse riding, and Fennekin came from a dream where I was trying to catch her (possibly with Totodile and Squritle, I know White was there.)

 

Then again in Nox, every single Pokemon species that has been revealed and then some can be found, so it could just be wonderland NPC residents coming to life. Either way, I now feel like I'm completely overthinking this situation.

 

And White wants me to build a new house. And I think he likes his new friends, so we might work with them and keep them after all. And if any more come, fine, there's plenty of room in Nox for more people. I think creating the entire region of Nox is going to be a team effort between me and all my new Pokemon friends and possibly even a few soulbonds. I am pretty happy that they came after all, because now stuff can happen in the wonderland while simultaneously real life is happening.

 

Wow. When I first started making a tulpa about 5-6 years ago I did not expect to wind up with a bunch of Pokemon and a bunch of soulbonds, but whatever.

my PR

my art thread

tumblr tulpa log

my DA

White will talk in this color.

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