Mangle

[Guest Vixx]

I will check it out, thank you.

[Guest Vixx]

Mangle is still not back.

 

However, Sebastian and I have been doing pretty well. I've been super busy with school, but the fact that I'm getting out more seems to be cheering Sebastian up. I walked home one day and visualized him with me for most of the 3 mile walk, and he was the happiest he's been in a long time. We talked about maybe trying possession, and switching, and surprisingly he seemed disinterested in it. He said he wanted his own real body, rather than using mine...but that he would practice with me for my sake. I was originally very possessive of the body and I think the same sentiment just rubbed off on him. I think the more we try it, the more he will warm up to the idea.

 

He is still very sensitive about certain topics, like kill switches...which is my fault of course. I've reassured him that he is the only tulpa I want though...flaws, insecurities, and all...so I hope he understands. We still have a ways to go with speech, as he is better at mindvoice, but I fear I might parrot at times...so I will be keeping a close eye on myself, to prevent that.

 

I've found that wonderland is an *amazing* way to de-stress. I've started imposing my wonderland onto reality whenever I safely can(ie. not when I'm driving). I have a lot of real life stress and unhappiness and wonderland seems to be a great way to escape for awhile.

 

My bf drinks a lot, and when he does he just does things by himself, so I'm stuck feeling alone a lot of the time that I'm home. Other than that he is great though, so it makes me unsure of whether I should leave him or not. I mean, I can't go into a relationship expecting a finished work right? I also just started college here and I really shouldn't move again (I've moved a lot) until I finish school. I just don't know though.

 

So anyway, yes, I am using wonderland to escape, even though I am strongly against that. I'm also finding my creativity slowly returning as I play more video games. One that helped me a lot is Fran Bow. So I'm planning on fleshing out my wonderland more with that skill.

 

Since I visualize a lot now, I've almost perfected my first-person view of wonderland! I just naturally go into first-person when I go to wonderland. Occasionally it slips to third person, but I fix it pretty quickly. Sebastian created his own secret room in wonderland! I might have edited a little, accidentally (dang overactive mind), but he has full control to alter it as he wishes.

 

Sebastian also sings now! His voice is slowly becoming distinct. I hear bits and pieces of how he actually sounds in mindvoice. It has definitely deviated from what I had intended, but is no less wonderful :)

 

Anyway, that's all I can think of for now...will update later.

[Guest Vixx]

Me and Sebastian are doing great! He's pretty much back to normal....or pretty damn close to it. I need to active force with him more. It's not enough to go to wonderland with him before bed anymore. His presence was getting faint, but it gets stronger the more I focus on him. He also changes clothes without me actively imagining them. I'll focus on his name, and he'll appear wearing the outfit of the day. He also appears in places I don't imagine him. Like, just now, I imagined him to my right, but he appeared in front of me and winked. His form has also deviated. He is not as muscular as I originally imagined him, and has taken on a more lean/toned look. His voice has definitely deviated as well.

 

I'd originally had a huge crush on Sebastian (still do...I mean, he's gorgeous hehe) and wanted something romantic. We're doing fine without it though. I asked him about it, and he told me that the mind has different wants than the body. He is of the mind, and sex is a bodily drive with mental apsects, yes, but it is meant to induce reproduction. As he hasn't taken over a body or have one of his own, he does not experience the drive the same way I do. He says he can love, but it is all emotional/mental as opposed to the physical drive I have.

 

Either way...I'm so glad he's around. Mangle still hasn't returned and I'm guessing he won't anytime soon. I've been drawing some art of Se-tian, as a way to bond...maybe I'll post some soon. Anyway, night everyone :)

[Guest Vixx]

Yaaaaawn, school has been keeping me busy.

 

Sebastian still seems to be fading. I've given him permission to force his presence into my view, so maybe that will help. We sing a lot together and he dances to some songs, which is awesome to watch. Other than that I haven't really had any talks with him...which I know I need to.

 

So, gonna go do that now. See you guys later :)

[Guest Vixx]

It's been awhile, but not as long as I thought. I haven't been forcing like I should and I plan to start again soon. Hope everyone here is okay.

[Vos]

You should consider making a schedule so that you can get yourself back on track.