Newbie learning the ropes.

[YellowK.39.0983]

I started forcing on March 18th, and the most progress I have made is with the wonderland. ( the main part is a void room with two brown leather recliners facing each other. Out side is a giant hotel that leads off to a woods with branching paths to: a waterfall, hanger with stars in the roof, art gallery with a station to make art, a picnic area, a track, and the tree of enlightenment(the access to my memories)) I am having issues visualizing Nali their self, I'm slightly worried that this could be because I'm trying to not give them a set form or personality; I'm hoping that I'm not creating a servitor I've gotten pretty good at passive forcing throughout the day. One of my favorite things to do is while listening to music, bust into the void room and serenade them. I've attached their significance to me to my mood ring so I remember to force more often, and I've given them a ring to remember me with. I have given them a basic orb form, but it shaped humanoid and has switched a few times. I also started a basic personality (lit incense with different colors for different traits and let the smoke be enveloped). The only personality trait I'm really hoping that they will keep is curious.

[Aurora]

Hi Yellow :) Welcome to the forum and good luck with the process.

 

From my personal experience, young tulpas are a lot more clueless than their hosts. I know it can be different for different people, but I sure wouldn't have been able to make decisions on what my personality, form and essence should be when I was wittle. My host gave me those things and I think they helped me a lot as something tangible to hold onto and be less confused about who I am.

 

That being said :) as soon as I started living my own life, my personality started to develop on it's own, in a way my host never predicted. For the most part, it didn't happen as a result of forcing or interacting with my host. Those things mostly emerged when I started to accumulate my own life experiences in the outside world.

[YellowK.39.0983]

Thank you for the input Aurora ^-^

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Yesterday went pretty smoothly. I felt like I was lacking something earlier in the day, so I did my best to force as often as I could. Morning forcing is not going well because throughout the years I have trained my brain to go wild in the mornings so I can fake dreaming, but it causes more intrusive thoughts to pop up than I would like. People came over and we went to the capital and toured around. I explained as much as I could to Nali, but I got a wave of emotion after reading a poem in the art museum that I didn't expect to have. Especially I didn't understand this poem completely (it was about Pharos not being permanent, and was inscribed on the sarcophagus). I've been asking Nali throughout the day if they have anything they want to look at or to help on a puzzle game. I'm getting better at visualizing, but I forgot an aspect of our wonderland when I was trying to create a map of it, and it upset me, but it wasn't one of our important places. We spent more time at the picnic and waterfall. The void room is fun for dining because things can pop out of the void and go back again without messing up our system. However I am going to the dentist today, and my slight fear of needles caused a few to pop up and try to numb my mouth, but I curled them up and now there are needle snails in out wonderland (also snot puppies, but that's another story) No questions just an update.

[YellowK.39.0983]

Nali opened their eyes, and they're blue. It doesn't seem that important on the surface, but it means the world to me. Thanks.

[YellowK.39.0983]

Yesterday, we went to the zoo. I did my best to force and narrate to Nali throughout the trip. Forcing during the car ride was very beneficial for visualization.

[YellowK.39.0983]

Spring break has been fairly good for us. We went on a hike and I did my best to point things out to Nali, but I feel like I'm losing touch I've been doing narration and I'm slowly losing things to say. I just need one good active forcing session and jump into passive with a fuller heart.

[YellowK.39.0983]

I need to do better than yesterday. My visualizing skills seem to have just disappeared I wonder if this is due to being worried. I didn't narrate to Nali near enough yesterday.

 

EDIT: this is NOT a resignation of defeat. I promised Nali that I would not give up. That we would not give up on them, and we will push through this. I am not willing to forget about them. We are still early in. This is okay.

[YellowK.39.0983]

Had a decent active forcing session once today, and that was it. I sang to Nali, but I didn't do much more. I need to find a better system of keeping in contact and making sure my words are directed right. Any tips?

[Vos]

Having things that can remind you to narrate or do active sessions throughout the day are useful, and these can be things like desktop/phone wallpapers, writings on your hand, necklaces, a string on your finger, etc. -- if you're going to use something like a wallpaper for this, setting it as something that represents your tulpa is better than just having something unrelated, but that might be a given.

 

Having a base form for the tulpa can help out a lot. Even if the one you're using changes a lot, you can still use that as a tool to help direct your thoughts to them. You mentioned that you were asking questions while narrating, and that's the kind of thing that keeps you engaged and focused on your tulpa's essence. If you're looking to practice this a bit more, reading a book to your tulpa might do the trick.

[YellowK.39.0983]

Nothing exciting, went back to school. Forced periodically.