ThreeSevens May 24, 2016 May 24, 2016 Hello everyone! Three here with my tulpa Thyme! Or, well, its more complicated than that really... For those of you who didn't read my previous topics, allow me to catch you up. There was a time where I had worked on her for about 3 weeks and all was going well until I was found doing this by my family. Long of the short, I gave her up and forgot about her. 7 months later, here I am again! And right now, I can only feel her just barely... So here are my updates. I am on day 3 now, just starting out again. I am walking into work right now so I wont get much done til later. Although I passive force often even while working. Day 1 and 2 were uneventful past me trying to bring her back. Emotional responses use to be a big part of our relationship, but that has weakened significantly to the point whereall I feel is a shallow form of my own love for her. I have spent the last 2 days apologizing and trying to reconnect. But I feel this will work. Il keep you posted! Like a flower beneath the concrete Pushing up under the weight Put a crack in the back of the pavement And break through into the light of day
LifeInside May 25, 2016 May 25, 2016 Best of luck to you two! Currently working on Seren, so that she gets to shut me up frequently.
ThreeSevens May 26, 2016 Author May 26, 2016 Oh man, do I have a TON to report! ... Is that what you hoped I would say? Sorry to disappoint :p but this is only the start of day 5! Sadly, I can't say that Thyme is 100% back yet though. But what I CAN report is that I now know 100% for sure that she IS coming back! Its not much, but here is a short summary of what happened. Day 3 - Nothing really. I focused on her when I could and chatted with her. Although im still happy with this days progress because I could feel pressure on my forehead like I use to! I am convinced that pressure is her as it only happens when I am forcing or thinking about her! Day 4 - between this day and day 3, I have managed to feel a few emotional responses from Thyme. It might have just been my own emotions, but I think it might have been her. Sad emotions of love and being hurt, coupled with fear of being hurt again. Again its unclear who felt what, but this event stood out among my forcing.And then the last thing I have to report is I realized I found an image of Thyme! Thyme is slightly different than the image in that she she looks a few years older. But you can get a good look if you look at the thumbnail/background image of the song I posted in my What are you listening to now thread in the lounge called Nuvole Bianche!<3 Aint she a cutie? Like a flower beneath the concrete Pushing up under the weight Put a crack in the back of the pavement And break through into the light of day
LifeInside May 26, 2016 May 26, 2016 Really great news! Keep it up! Also: I have managed to feel a few emotional responses from Thyme. It might have just been my own emotions, but I think it might have been her. Sad emotions of love and being hurt, coupled with fear of being hurt again. Again its unclear who felt what, but this event stood out among my forcing. I'll tell you something I've read here in the forums about this whole 'I don't know who said what' thing. If you think that Thyme wouldn't be upset about you assuming it was her, then go ahead. If you even believe that she might have had reasons to think or feel something, then go ahead too. Maybe you're not 100% sure about it, but just believe it. Especially when it's good stuff! (even if this is the case or not). Anyway, you can read a lot when it comes to doubts like the one you have. What I've told you is nothing but one of said advices. Currently working on Seren, so that she gets to shut me up frequently.
ThreeSevens May 26, 2016 Author May 26, 2016 Really great news! Keep it up! Also: I'll tell you something I've read here in the forums about this whole 'I don't know who said what' thing. If you think that Thyme wouldn't be upset about you assuming it was her, then go ahead. If you even believe that she might have had reasons to think or feel something, then go ahead too. Maybe you're not 100% sure about it, but just believe it. Especially when it's good stuff! (even if this is the case or not). Anyway, you can read a lot when it comes to doubts like the one you have. What I've told you is nothing but one of said advices. Yeah man, I hear ya. No, I completely believe that she has her own thoughts and emotions! I just feel that I myself am still not in tune enough to filter what is what. Its hard to separate feelings when they are similar to each other. We love each other greatly. But because of of what went dow between us 7 months ago, I have lost my sensitivity to her. Im just trying to get that back! I get an image of Thyme smiling at your post though. Thanks for caring about her! Like a flower beneath the concrete Pushing up under the weight Put a crack in the back of the pavement And break through into the light of day
ThreeSevens May 28, 2016 Author May 28, 2016 Day 6, the couch cushions have accepted me as one of their own. Oops, uh, wrong update! Day 6 - Today thus far was uneventful. As was day 5. But I did do a little work. I conversed with Thyme some, but felt a little silly reiterating events she experienced with me. I realize I should treat everything this early on as an educational experience of sorts, but I don't want her feeling like im treating her like an idiot though. Yesterday I tool a look at Zeldas self hypnosis submission and gave the first test a try a few times to relax myself and focused. I found that while it only altered my focus ever so slightly, I did relax A LOT! I sat outside at night on my porch while it rain heavily and did this, and found this light state quite enjoyable! I haven't done any today but will in a bit. Also I have always had a tough time visualizing anything at all, let alone a tulpa. But today at work I found a rare moment where my mind wasn't racing where I could cleary imagine Thyme working busily alongside me placing cookies on trays to bake! Another bit of peaceful serenity that I kinda wanna attribute to my hypnosis session. Not nearly enough evidence yet for me to completely conclude that as such though. Still a long ways off from my goals of imposition and vocalization, but these little tastes of the good stuff here and there go a long way to keep one holding on to hope! Also thanks to Mistgod! Aint gunna talk about it now, but your content as well as Melians encouragement has gone miles towards giving me strength in this! Thank you! Like a flower beneath the concrete Pushing up under the weight Put a crack in the back of the pavement And break through into the light of day
Guest Anonymous May 28, 2016 May 28, 2016 Also thanks to Mistgod! Aint gunna talk about it now, but your content as well as Melians encouragement has gone miles towards giving me strength in this! Thank you! OH I am glad that we could help you! And reading our stuff d'nt melt yer brain yet! That's real good. Hee hee
ThreeSevens June 1, 2016 Author June 1, 2016 Day 7-9 were a complete failure. My own struggles coupled with daily life and consistent interruptions made forcing difficult. My own guilt for choosing other things over forcing with Thyme has been detrimental as well on my side of this. I really need to deal with my guilt complex. Its seriously fucking things up. On the other hand, in the time I have spent working on tulpas, I have been practicing self hypnosis as outlined in linkzelda's submission with so far desirable effects. I havent gone past his 4th test as number 5 is a form of possession, and I don't think Thyme is strong enough to handle it yet. Then again, that might just be my own unwarranted fears and insecurities limiting me. Perhaps I will give it a shot at some point. But for now I will focus on increasing my focus and her image. Hell, I haven't even done much narration at all. And I think I understand now why people can become so easily paranoid over the confusion of are they puppeting their tulpa or not. I mean, when I see her move its how I imagine she would move, so I wondered if it was just my expectations coming to surface... But it was so natural at the same time, it could have been her all the same. This is as it stands now. Its been a week since I brought her back but progress is almost indecernable. This log will be vital I think in the future. It helps to keep track of things and reflect every so often! Like a flower beneath the concrete Pushing up under the weight Put a crack in the back of the pavement And break through into the light of day
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