Curly + Kao's Descent Into the Madness

[CurlyQ]

Or perhaps I should call this thread immersion into the lifestyle :) .   

 

About

Hey all! I'm Curly and I'm new to these forums but not to the idea of tulpa. I've had off-and-on imaginary friends since I can remember, but probably around age 10 I stopped talking to them. After about 2 years of should-I/shouldn't-I dialogue with myself, I've finally decided to go ahead and try my best at making a tulpa! I feel like having a tulpa would be a good way for me to learn to cope with being alone without feeling lonely, if that makes any sense. I'm excited to see where this journey takes me and my tulpa, Kao!

 

I plan to keep a big log running, but also do individual updates here. Sloth is my favorite sin, so we'll see how long I can keep this up! I welcome comments, constructive or otherwise.

 

Links

Basic Info About Kao

Kao's Basic Traits

The Big Log

[tulpa001]

Welcome, Curly!

 

I am interested in the difference between tulpas and imaginary friends. So you will have tell me about it if you get that far. Good luck!

[CurlyQ]

Welcome, Curly!

 

I am interested in the difference between tulpas and imaginary friends. So you will have tell me about it if you get that far. Good luck!

 

As am I, honestly. I theorize tulpa may be less puppeted, seeing as I'm waiting for a response rather than expecting one, yes?

 

November 19, 2016

 

7:00 pm - 8:00 pm (approximation)

I spent about an hour picking out a name and traits for my tulpa. I decided on Kao, meaning fighter in Hawaiian; I intuitively decided to make my tulpa racially Pacific Islander. When I originally imagined Kao, I knew from the get-go he wasn’t white. I felt a pull towards the Islands but not the Caribbean, where my family is from. Nope-- I was getting a pull from the Pacific, so I just rolled with it. Here goes nothin’!

 

8:45 pm - 9:00 pm (approximation)

While preparing dinner for myself I passively forced speaking to Kao. I just went about describing a bit of my life to him, probably making a general fool of myself. It’s funny how I feel self-conscious in front of someone who doesn’t really exist yet.

 

9:48 pm - 10:00 pm

During this time I actively worked on Kao’s personality. I did this by simply going through my list of traits and describing how each one would impact him. On approximately the third trait, I got a weird feeling in the back of my head, and then I felt strangely calm. I would almost describe it as feeling like someone was listening to me!

While I was speaking I found it easy to imagine him (or at least a basic shell of him) laying on my bed, listening to me (I was speaking out loud). I did not imagine him in any great detail, just how much space he would take up, mostly. I’m a very visual person, and I figure this’ll give me a head start any time I decide to really starting forcing his body.

[Reisen]

You should still expect a response, that anticipation helps tell your mind that your tulpa should be talking without you yourself doing it. An imaginary friend, on this forum at least, is more like a tulpa who isn't necessarily autonomous. There's a background sense of being the one controlling what they do and you don't usually treat them as as real. But, I still think imaginary friends can be(come) autonomous just like tulpas. I'm sure if you had an imaginary friend for long enough you'd get to know them so well they basically respond and act on their own. And then you've got someone like Mistgod's Melian who's pretty much a tulpa, but they don't have those strict rules about being separate and all that, don't even think about it really. And that's just fine.