James & Company

[paracosmic]

[align=left]15/02/2017 | Day 000: Preamble

 

Hey everybody. Just a quick introduction and some background information, since I’m going to be setting up shop here. My name is James and I don’t have a tulpa to introduce yet, although hopefully that’s going to change soon. As a child I always wanted an imaginary friend but I could just never make it work. Then in my early adolescence I started becoming unhealthily immersed in daydreams, something I still haven’t entirely shaken off. But the big difference there is that the daydreams operated like little films, they never involved me and I never tried to include myself or interact with the characters.

 

I first found out about tulpas and joined the forums last December, although I’m just now returning after a month-long crisis of bad faith. Unfortunately a defeatist attitude and needless worrying, over some reasonable but mostly silly things, got the better of me (all the horror stories out there about tulpas gone wrong didn’t help) and I decided to put the idea on hold until I could come back to it with optimistic eyes again. I guess that’s where I am now because I’ve been looking into it again for about the past week and the usual creeping uncertainty isn’t there. I just feel excited, like I did when I first found out about tulpas. So I just decided to run with it.

 

One thing I was still thinking about once I decided not to proceed with making a tulpa was the concept of wonderlands. My head started spinning when I found out about these, because one of my favourite things is imagining settings and coming up with the people who live there. So I started coming up with all these big elaborate ideas for my wonderland but I hit a bit of brick wall when I realized I have really bad visualization skills and that I probably couldn’t do something on that scale yet. So in the meantime I’ve been practicing with a single room, and I’ll branch out once my skills have improved. I have a lot more things to say but I'll save it for now.

 

The plan is to begin forcing tomorrow, to do it every day for at least half an hour and to keep a log of my experiences, because I can’t even try a new brand of toothpaste without keeping a record of it somewhere. If anyone has any questions or something to share, please go on ahead.

 

Can't wait to get started![/align]

[tulpa001]

Welcome back. On the wonderland thing, it surprises me that you have poor visualisation and also a daydreaming habit. But poor visualisation is the norm not the exception. Don't worry about it yet. You are about to engage in visualisation training activities.

 

Good luck!

[paracosmic]

I know, right? It's something I've thought about before. I think the difference is that visualisation is a conscious, deliberate effort that takes concentration whereas maladaptive daydreaming (when I do it anyway) is instantaneous and works best when I'm moving around or doing some menial task. I've tried making the images clearer when daydreaming before and it completely killed the momentum and took the fun out of it. I just really hope this doesn't effect my ability to force.

[tulpa001]

Good visualisation is unnecessary to forcing. If it kills your momentum, don't do it. Forcing every day is very important.

[paracosmic]

16/01/17 | Day 001: In The Beginning

 

Just wrapped up my first session. It only lasted a half an hour, really not as long as I would've liked, but I had a busy day and had to start later than planned.

 

I pictured myself in a room that I've been working on for the past couple of days. It started out pretty basic but gradually became more detailed. The room is small, just a simple square shape, with peeling paint and old creaking floor boards, although every inch of the floor was covered with an a bunch of blankets. On top was a twin-size mattress, which I was sitting on. I tried hard to focus on myself, what it'd actually be like, sitting there. I even pictured my clothes, down to my purple socks, although most of these details got a lot fuzzier as I got further into the session. 

 

Since I don't really want to commit to a form yet, I decided to place them on the other side of the door and we spoke like that. Has anyone else done something like that? Is it a good idea?

 

Anyway. Truth be told, I felt really self-conscious once I began. But I spoke up, said hello and introduced myself. I got a response, if a rather lacklustre one. I asked their name, didn't get a response. I told them a few things about myself and I went on for a bit, eventually I started listing my favourite colours. Pretty daft, but it got me my first response of substance: "You like to talk, huh?" 

 

Talking got easier after that, although they were still not offering up much. So I started talking about intent, why I was there and what I was trying to do. I was upfront, I said I wanted to create a companion. Maybe this is my own negativity seeping in and parroting, but it seemed a lot like they were trying to talk me out of doing it. Anyone have any thoughts on that? Either way, they didn't seem very enthusiastic about it. So I shared some of the things that I like about existing that I'd like to share with them. We started making progress here, but I don't think I convinced them entirely. 

 

The last thing I tried before I left was sharing some music from an album I've been listening to. I ran a song in my head for us both to hear and then we sang it, doing a line each. It was fun for me, but I'm not sure what they thought. Maybe not their genre. 

 

One thing I should say that I'd like some input on: when I was reading guides on personality, one idea I came across a lot was that you should have some idea on who you want your tulpa to be going in. It's something I was kinda averse to, I felt like I just wanted them to develop naturally, another reason I didn't want to give them a form right away. I'll admit to being frustrated with one answer responses, but it wouldn't really be a problem if I knew it'd have results later. Is this a counter productive way to go about it? Should I actually try and come up with ideas for personality?

 

But despite all that, I really enjoyed my first session. It felt very relaxing, therapeutic and fun, although I felt a bit like I was talking to a brick wall times. One thing I'm anxious to try is narration, which will probably be the bulk of tomorrow's forcing as I'll be on public transport for some time.

 

More than happy to hear any comments and thanks to anyone who can help with my questions.

[nihi0145632]

16/01/17 | Day 001: In The Beginning

 

One thing I should say that I'd like some input on: when I was reading guides on personality, one idea I came across a lot was that you should have some idea on who you want your tulpa to be going in. It's something I was kinda averse to, I felt like I just wanted them to develop naturally, another reason I didn't want to give them a form right away. I'll admit to being frustrated with one answer responses, but it wouldn't really be a problem if I knew it'd have results later. Is this a counter productive way to go about it? Should I actually try and come up with ideas for personality?

 

 

[Summer:]

Hey Hey! hello! :D 

 

It actually depends on the host really. We all have different styles on how we tackle obstacles. Some mancers prefer having a solid personality while others prefer having their tulpa discover on their own. Both parties have their valid reasons for it so there's really nothing wrong choosing for the path where you gave the tulpa freedom to discover him or herself. Either way as long as your method works then it works.

 

I was on the later side for my development, nihi didn't actually gave me a personality, I somewhat developed my own. I was born an orb, an orange orb, As soon as i first met him he told me that i can be whatever i can or want to be, so i just grabbed "a part of his personality" of course we will need to start somewhere, and continued on growing with it,molding other traits around it.

 

Do not stress yourself too much with guidelines, they are their to guide you after all but you can still choose your own way to develop your tulpa. Hope this help you out, we all four are looking forward on your journey Good luck!

[tulpa001]

Some people use giant silver balls. I honestly think your door solution is innovative and impressive.

 

They are too young to try and talk you out of anything genuinely. So it would be your negativity influencing the encounter.

[Vos]

The door idea doesn't sound like a bad one. As long as you're able to focus on their 'essence' and make sure that you're speaking to them and not yourself, you should be fine. If you think that it'd be easier to have a visual representation of your tulpa in a that room instead, that's also an option. People usually go for the glowing orb or mist or whatever.

 

It's possible that the negativity was an intrusive thought, and you probably shouldn't give it much thought because of that, especially if it only happened the one time. A lot of people focus on these smaller things when they're just starting out and they get overly worried, which is only a detriment.

 

Working on your tulpa's personality is optional. It's beneficial because it's just more time that you're focusing on your tulpa, but narration can be just as effective. Also, not working on a personality doesn't mean that you'll have to deal with short responses. Those don't seem to be related at all.