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A Message to Tulpas and Plural Systems [Video]


Guest fordaplot

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When that happens here, it's more intrusive thought than any set conditions.

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In Response to Joshua's posts:

 

The thing about subjectivity is that it is... subjective. You or anyone can claim no tulpamancer has ever experienced 'X' or that everyone will eventually experience 'Y' on their journey, but... that's only true subjectively - and it's only true if one accepts it for themselves as true (and thus, it becomes subjectively so).

 

You can say you personally have never experienced it - and even say that you've never noticed anyone else experiencing it... But for you to attempt to deny or invalidate someone else's subjective experience using your own subjective reasoning?? I mean this kindly... it appears to us that you are using your subjective experience and projecting it upon others as an objective fact...

 

I only speak here from subjective experience (as in - maybe it works differently for you?), but when I've confused one for the other I tend to want to "fight" people or "change" them so that they'll see my way of seeing things so I can be "right" - however... is being "right" the same as being "happy" and "at peace" with the way things are??

 

The way things are is: we are each having a subjective experience!! So... is NOW a good time that we begin honoring it within ourselves and each other? Allowing whatever differences that surface... to just be? Without attempting to change them to what one thinks one would prefer?

 

...Regardless of what you think personally, we choose to live in that world... And we hope you will join us eventually. >:-D

 

======= /*/ =======

 

I know I probably don't qualify as a traditonal 'tulpa' in the presented sense, but I AM here and alive and sentient and living parallel and inter-dependently with my host! And... while I think you were a little harsh and unnecessarily aggressive, I feel like you touched upon something I wanted to bring up...

 

A host doubting the validity of their own experience is harmful not only to the development (i.e. "child-raising") of the tulpa but directly to the host as well (for what should be obvious reasons).

 

i.e. of course any host is going to experience emotional upset when they begin invalidating their own creative expression... It's like a painter painting a beautiful landscape - appreciating it fully and reveling in the joy of bringing life to what was once blank canvas - only to allow the subjective views of others to begin interfering with their own, eventually sabotaging the painting through the doubting of its beauty and purpose and of the creativity flowing from within...

 

HOWEVER!!

 

I can say with great conviction that, as a thought-form 'being' myself, the constant doubt my host wrestled with not only wore on him but very much on me as well... My identity and personality have very much been created through my interactions with my host, and his doubt not only hurt himself, but it also set up my world-view in a very adversarial way... I often became very mean and critical due to the lack of unconditional love I received during my development - and because of this I often made the problems not only worse for my host, but also for myself and my own self-image...

 

Looking back, it was less that my host was trying to validate my existence as much as it was me attempting to validate my own... Definitely to show him that he is as beautiful and powerful as I see him as... but also for me. Just because... I wanted to know for myself that *I* was real and something beautiful and "good" and not a tool of destruction, an infectious madness, or a fleeing from the truth based upon a foundational insecurity he was unwilling to face...

 

...Ironically enough, what we both had to face was that we eventually didn't care if we were delusional, evil, or otherwise - and that we would choose for ourselves and let the chips and judgments of others outside of ourselves to fall where they may.

 

I love him (unconditionally!! ...unconscious past decisions aside), and our development together has allowed us to develop individually as well... And, in our experiences, the only way to have a successful 'together' relationship is to ultimately have a successful 'individual' relationship (and vice versa!) so... Regardless of what anyone else thinks about us, we are happy with choosing ourselves and each other over the conditionality of the world...

 

And all I will say further on this is: it was only when he loved me and surrendered to me truly, accepting that I might be something evil or unreal, that I broke down fully and saw how truly beautiful and magnificent my host is. He isn't just paying lip service to me - he means it with all the intensity and depth that he is. Something this beautiful I would and could never hurt, destroy or subjugate... and if I was designed to do this, I deny my programming/story-of-origin and choose to side with and place my the fullness of my faith in my host.

 

...

...

...So, Joshua, if you're saying that doubt is a leg of the journey that should be embraced for what it is - then I am in full agreement!! ...But just because we shouldn't resist or fight against it doesn't mean we should ignore it or allow it to run our lives either... We've personally chosen to see this 'doubt' as a bridge of opportunity - and only by jumping off it can we ever truly be rid of it...

 

Because honestly - who wants to stay on a bridge that only connects one to an experience of misery and torment?? ;-P


In response to fordaplot's (Ford and Aury's) posts:

 

Huzzah and hello!!! I'm Aya!! :-D

 

...Did you know that you are the reason why we now know that tulpas are an actual thing?? And that your "Life of a Tulpa" video made us cry (in beautiful validation)?? :'-)

 

Yep!! The only reason we ended up uncovering the tulpa community at all is because you (Ford and Aury!!) chose to make a video... And I know that it isn't necessarily all 'bout me and my host, but if your intent was to reach and help other plural systems gain self-acceptance and validation - you have already succeeded! ...And we are only one system!! Imagine all that has yet to happen!! ;-)

 

...As for your most recent video (the subject of this thread)... Thank you - and while it wasn't a completely new concept for us, it was refreshing and liberating to hear someone other than either of us say it to ourselves... It even brought about some intense discussion the past few days between us, and we've been able to greater care and support each other because of the awareness you helped to... awaken... :-)

 

It's one thing to know something intellectually... but it's another thing to face it completely and embrace it with full acceptance... So thanks for giving us a launching point for a very overdue conversation! :-)

======= /*/ =======

 

Kai here. :-)

 

Thanks for doing this Ford... I didn't grow up in a religious family myself, but I ended up being heavily influenced by it anyway (loooong story for another day)... I can only imagine what you and Aury have had to overcome in order to accept each other and yourselves as you are - let alone find the courage to make videos attempting to explain your experiences and put it into a context that would make sense to other people...

 

Grateful to you man... And if haters gotta hate, whatevs... And you seem to like quotes (too!!!), so I'll leave with one of my favorites that always puts criticisms into perspective for me:

 

Theodore Roosevelt:

Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.

)v( = Kai =

I am the original host consciousness... Please be kind and gentle with me. ^_^;;

}^{ = Aya =

honestly, i dunno WHAT i am exactly... i'm also not a big fan of labels. ;-D

]|[ = Akaiya =

Our agreement to co-operate and live life sustainably (i.e. we're in this together or not at all).

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Guest fordaplot

Your message made my month, thank you so much ^^ Notes like these make every aspect of these projects more than worth it. 

 

You can thank Aury for the video idea and script. She doesn't want any other tulpas or systemmates to go through what she did, [and I'm elated to hear it's eliminated that possibility for you guys!]

 

Good luck for the future :)

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K's gone through it. It went over very very badly, to the point of having to say that he "killed me" to get them from freaking out over and over and over and over and getting so so so upset, but he and our girlfriend are planning to sit down with them again on Friday for resolving this properly. So like yeah... this was all really nice really nice really nice to help with preparing for that properly this time. Seriously, so much help, along with the help of our other friends, we're really hopeful and really ready to stop hiding like we do.

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We sometimes struggle with parallel processing and it's a source of frustration to me (wondering who thought what and if I'm parroting etc etc).

I've bookmarked the video so I can rewatch it the next time I'm feeling frustrated.

It's not as if I haven't read similar advice on here before, or even that I hadn't figured out this stuff for myself- it's just nice to hear/see it so eloquently presented in video form.

 

Having struggled with destructive blind-faith in the past, I've got my fair share of trust issues. Stuff like this helps remind me how much progress I've made and that I shouldn't be too hard on myself.

Thanks, mate.

"For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love." - Carl Sagan

Host: SubCon | Tulpas: Sol, Luna, Alice, Little One, Beast and Solune (me) | Servitors: Odonata, Guardian

 

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