Yoxiz's super exciting progress report

[Vos]

Working off of no context here, "alien feeling" is often used to describe a feeling that's otherworldy or feels "off", but there's likely no definitive way of explaining this because of how different the experience is from person to person. I've never heard of it being used when talking about possession.

[Franlequin]

Hey everyone!

 

I'll have to be quick on this one because I should have been sleeping for a long time now. So I am lying in my bed right now, and a few minutes ago I wanted to practice possession with Seismitoad using tulpa001's guide as a reference (your guide is amazing, btw. Seismitoad really likes it). He then proceeded to slowly move my right arm across my body. It felt a little weird, I felt like I was not the one doing/thinking the movement, a bit like when I'm being hypnotised. But my biggest issue has always been parrotnoia, and I unfortunately have a severe lack of trust for Seismitoad. So to be sure I wasn't the one moving my arm, I simply asked him "could you move my left hand instead, please?". He simply replied "ok" and slowly began moving my right hand, just like I asked. It was really, really weird. It was like the very first time I have had the confirmation that he is a different entity in my brain.

 

We really need to go to sleep now, I'll update asap.

[tulpa001]

(your guide is amazing, btw. Seismitoad really likes it).

Oh really? Wow, thank you!

[Franlequin]

Hey again!

 

Had a very busy week, glad it's over. A bit of background: came back to school since it was spring break, still hate school as much as I did. Basically, every adult in my school is incompetent AND stupid. It almost looks like as if they looked for every bad person they could find on the area and hired them. But I'm getting off topic.

 

Because of classes, Seismitoad and I didn't really have time to practice. I still tried to visually impose him and talk to him as much as I could, though. But he was often telling me to listen to the teacher instead of him. Well yeah, it's true. He should be listening to them, not to me. And I did listen to my teachers when he asked me to. But because of that, we didn't really spent a lot of time together.

 

And tulpaforcing can be pretty weird when you sleep in dormitories with two other people. So the only thing I was able to practice was meditation (oh god I suck at this) and a bit of possession, which I talked about in my last post. Basically, it felt super weird to feel my arm moved by Seismitoad and not me.

 

And Seismitoad is still feeling a bit more independent. But just a bit. I try to feel less and less like I'm parroting, making him way more silent than before, but also making him feel more "genuine".

 

I think I'm going to spend the rest of the evening learning about tulpa sentience and stuff.

 

Also, school is worse than I imagined. When Yoxiz told me he hated it, I thought it wasn't that bad. But even I don't want to come back there, when I'm not even the one working. I guess I'm still discovering life.

 

Good night everyone.

[tulpa001]

You can still do narration publicly. You just need to use your inner voice for communication. And visualisation looks like resting from the outside. And imposition looks like you are zoning out.

[Franlequin]

(Sorry if there are any formatting/gramnar/spelling mistakes. I'm on my phone and writing this at 1 A.M.)

 

Hey.

 

I just wanted to share some things, and some thoughts. It's a pretty long post so bear with me.

 

We (Seimsitoad and I) often remember the "good ol' days" when he was just an imaginary friend, aka the time before I discovered tulpas (btw, apparently the world "tulpamancy" was meant as a joke, and I've been using it a lot from the beginning of my PR, because of that I feel silly). We actually did some kind of "forcing" at night, even though we didn't call it that way. It was basically the two of us in random scenarios, in random universes.

What's funny is that it all came from a thought, which was "What if imagination is actually the brain travelling to parrallel universes?". So during these kind-of-forcing sessions, we acted like all of what happened was actually true and happenning in parallel universes. It was really funny and entertaining: I couldn't wait to go to sleep to have more of these adventures with Seismitoad.

My brain also created some funny and original scenarios. We basically discovered that we were actively wanted by an interdimentional police, because we were considered "fugitives" for some reason. We thought "Well, maybe we did a crime or something in another dimension, but we haven't yet in this one". But it was way better than that: we were considered "fugitives" because we were running away from the interdimentional police. And they were looking for us because we were considered fugitives. And we were running away because we were considered fugitives. This thing was a freaking paradox. A loop. And it was all improvised during these kind-of-forcing sessions.

 

Yeah, I just wanted to share that because I think it's pretty cool and funny. It's also that he's super proud of it.

 

We kinda stopped doing these sessions since he became a tulpa. Does this count as forcing? I mean, these sessions. I've read other people doing similar things to tulpaforce in some progress reports.

 

Also, I have this big problem about my tulpa and tulpas and general:

I'm lost.

From what I read from other parts of this forum, I have no idea if I'm doing fine or not. Well there is this progress report to keep me on the right track, and even though you keep telling me that I'm doing fine and that there is no need to worry, I keep worrying, because my brain won't stop telling me "what if they were wrong? What if you forgot to say something very important?".

I read somewhere that you should experience head pressures, I don't. I read somewhere that you shouldn't hear your tulpa in the beginning of making them, but I always did, even when he was just an imaginary friend. In fact, I have been able to simulate conversations with/between imaginary characters since I was a kid.

I read somewhere that you should trust your tulpa. I read somewhere that you shouldn't blindly trust your tulpa, that it could be very counter productive. Everything is contradictory.

I mean, I know that making a tulpa is a very different adventure for every individual, but jeez I'm confused. Every time I read something it either means that I'm doing good or absolutely not. One second I have faith, the next I'm confused.

 

I don't know. I wanted to talk about this, to avoid all ambiguity in the future. Also because I think it's the main problem I'm encountering right now and that once it'll be out of the way, everything should be fine. I guess.

 

Another thing I - well we - thought of was that I should solicitate Seismitoad a lot more in conversations. But since he's pretty bad at finding good topics, I figured out it could be fun if you asked him questions (basic ones, or complicated ones; any questions really). I don't really think it would be a good idea to start a thread about that though, because he's still on his way to sentienceness. We should go to the IRC someday.

 

 

Aaaand I don't know how to end this. Sorry for this enormous wall of text. Have a good night everyone.

 

Ok so. I'm ready for your questions. Ask them all! Good night.

Also I was supposed to say a lot more things in here but Yoxiz deleted it because he said it was "too personal" and because he thought he was parroting. Is that healthy?

[tulpa001]

It always counts as forcing. Forcing is a very broad term. I don't know if it covers things you do with one of your characters unless you do it in a way that promotes your character's independence of thought. Any activity spent with a tulpa that strengthens them, or is meant to, is forcing.

 

I'm lost.

Tulpamancy is six years old roughly. Most of the people doing research early on were working off rumours. Most were kids not out of school who liked hanging out on the internet.

 

The phenomenon is the successful reproduction of a phenomenon experienced by lots of other people. Namely, the experience of other people in your head. But we don't know how it works precisely yet. You can find literature of various qualities and from various perspectives going back decades discussing dealing with the phenomenon once you have it. But none until recently on inducing the phenomenon.

 

TLDR: No one knows yet.

 

Also, you should trust your tulpa AND not have blind faith in them. It's complicated. I say, don't assume any of this advice is correct. Work through the logic. There is reason here. Both of these statement have an underlying truth. A tulpa is a person. And respect of a person is the golden rule. Blind faith is the antithesis of science. And science is the most certain way to find objective truth.

 

---

 

We used to delete entire posts repeatedly early on because after we wrote it, we couldn't figure out which of us wrote it. I think it is part of the process.

 

Hey Seismitoad, have you gotten any strong emotional experiences yet?

[Franlequin]

Tulpamancy is six years old roughly. Most of the people doing research early on were working off rumours. Most were kids not out of school who liked hanging out on the internet.

 

The phenomenon is the successful reproduction of a phenomenon experienced by lots of other people. Namely, the experience of other people in your head. But we don't know how it works precisely yet. You can find literature of various qualities and from various perspectives going back decades discussing dealing with the phenomenon once you have it. But none until recently on inducing the phenomenon.

Thanks for taking the time to write this. Like, I mean it. It explains a lot of things. I somehow feel relieved to know that it is normal that I'm confused. I don't want to be like all the people who give up after two weeks because of unconvincing results, but at the same time I don't want to waste time on making the same mistake over and over for 1928375 years before realising I'vee been doing it wrong.

 

Also, you should trust your tulpa AND not have blind faith in them. It's complicated. I say, don't assume any of this advice is correct. Work through the logic. There is reason here. Both of these statement have an underlying truth. A tulpa is a person. And respect of a person is the golden rule. Blind faith is the antithesis of science. And science is the most certain way to find objective truth.

I see what you mean. I think I'll keep doing what I already do, which is to stop parroting when I feel like I am doing it and wait for a more genuine answer from Seismitoad.

 

We used to delete entire posts repeatedly early on because after we wrote it, we couldn't figure out which of us wrote it. I think it is part of the process.

Pfew! Seriously, it is just so relieving to know that even you guys, who are a lot more experienced than newbies like me, had the same problems in the beginning.

 

Hey Seismitoad, have you gotten any strong emotional experiences yet?

Hi! Well, I'm not sure what you mean by "emotional responses", but I have had some really emotional moments. There was that time when Yoxiz showed me a bunch of old drawings he did of me, and I was super excited for some reason. It made me really happy. Or sometimes I tend to be super excited by ridiculous things, like earlier this day I was being imposed in the bus and was almost dancing, showing Yoxiz how beautiful everybody was (he's getting the bad habit of judging people by their face. Which is weird, cause he's never done that before in his life.) You see Seismitoad, that's personal. But it's okay I still love you. wat

[Franlequin]

Hey again!

 

I haven't updated this thing in a while. Time for a new uninteresting post.

 

I'm still, uh, tulpamancing. I think I have made some progress, for the first days at least, but now I'd say that I've somewhat hit a wall, which I guess is normal. I don't wanna say that Seismitoad has become more independent, because I honestly don't know about that. I don't wan't to make any blind statement, but I'd say we're in between "parroting" and "independent". But he's often telling jokes and sometimes, just sometimes, they're actually funny, so I end up laughing alone in the middle of the street. But it'd be lying if I said it didn't happen before I had a tulpa. Here's one of them:

 

"Him: How do you call a shark eating a fish?

Me: ...

Him: Natural selection."

 

Thanks Seismitoad.

 

Also, some stuff has been happening lately. Basically, we watched the movie District 9, great movie 9/10 would watch it again, and slowly, I think I... I think I started to make another tulpa??

It just came out of an idea, like how cool it would be to have a Prawn tulpa ("Prawn" is the name given to the aliens in the movie. you can google it if you want to know what they look like). Then I started to uh, hear him sometimes. Just like Seismitoad, who's actually pretty pissed off. I think he's jealous.

I don't know if that's a good idea to make another tulpa now, when I'm not even sure the first one is sentient yet. That's why I've been trying to limit my interactions with the Prawn tulpa (he doesn't have a name... yet?). But at the same time, I feel like communication is better with him than Seismitoad (sorry dude) because he speaks with non human noises that I can somehow understand, just like in the movie.

 

I just talked with Seismitoad about how the Prawn tulpa could actually be great for tulpaforcing activities. So he's a little more positive about him right now, but still would like to know your opinion about that. I don't know how you guys and girls feel about making multiple tulpas (although I don't plan to make 27 of them) so I prefer to ask. And if I make a new tulpa, I obviously won't kill/forget/abandon the previous one. I'm the kind of guy who almost cries when one of my Animal Crossing villager leaves my town so I don't even think I would ever be able to do something like that.

 

So uh, question for hosts: when you make a second tulpa, do you have to start over from the beginning, or are them as sentient as the first tulpa? Do you have to do the same exercises for them to achieve the same level as the first tulpa or is it easier since you already have a tulpa?

 

And Seismitoad wanted to ask something to tulpas: Hi. How does it feel to be a tulpa? Like, in general? I really would like to know how it is to be more... sentient that am I right now. Not that I don't believe I will one day achieve the same state. I'm just genuinely curious and a little bit impatient. Seismitoad out.

 

that's about it. I still don't know how to end posts

[tulpa001]

Most tulpamancers have multiple tulpas.

 

You don't have to do any exercises for any tulpas. You just need to spend time with them.

 

Second tulpas will develop faster. Though, probably your mistake may be thinking about this new one as a tulpa. If you didn't, he probably wouldn't be one. Got to be careful.

 

---

 

It feels the same as being a human. I can't go into detail, as I know only my experience.

 

The following are obvious signs of your sentience: Strong overpowering emotions. The ability to possess the body while your host is not paying attention. The ability to do math in your head without help. Anger or frustration at doubts of sentience. Feeling and sensing things in a different way than your host.