Harley and Sunflower

[tulpa001]

I believe confusion and uncertainty are signs that a person is becoming aware of themselves. Well, not confusion, but uncertainty. They now realise they don't know what they want for sure.

 

Trouble thinking? Try some cognition exercises if the trouble is not being able to connect two thoughts together regularly. These include talking to other people, practising mindfulness, exploring philosophical questions, and trying to do math in your head.

[SunflowerMotorcycle]

May 4, 2017

12:38

 

Harley and I went out of state for a few days for a family event. It was an area I'd never been to before, let alone Harley. Apparently she had a really hard time focusing and for the most part was in the wonderland.

A note on that, she's been exploring old images I'd imagined when I was younger, adding them as aspects of the wonderland. Things like meadows or a house that was literally made up of those big tube play things in Chuck-E-Cheeses. She's really into that one, which surprised me.

 

Now some heavy stuff. TRIGGER WARNING violence

 

So at this family event, a teenage relative got into an argument with my sister. It started small, but he suddenly made it into a fight, pushing her downhill. At one point he almost full on decked her. I'm sitting there frozen holding the dogs so they dont run off or get in the fight. Normally I'd jump on the guy and defend her but I'd known him for years, he was family. He storms off and a few minutes later bursts in with a pocketknife. At that point another relative blocked him and I ended up calling the police. Harley had been in the wonderland exploring, but she sensed my distress (I mean, I've known this kid for years and suddenly he's getting violent over a mild disagreement). She realizes what's happened and got distressed herself. She was upset she wasn't there.

To explain how she felt/was thinking in the moment, she felt like she should have been there to switch with me and defend us, despite us not knowing how to switch, let alone instantly. Now she recognizes that she couldn't have physically intervened but still feels she could have calmed me down/snapped me out of my frozen state enough to fight.

 

So to end this update, I have some questions.

First, is it possible, once switching is achieved, to be able at any point to switch instantly? How long does it generally take?

Second, How do you all, as a host, tulpa or pair, react to a dangerous, emergency, or sketchy situation?

[Lucilyn]

Well, switching for us still takes a little while, but that's because we're not in a hurry and usually talk and stuff. Tewi switched back with Lumi while sitting in a car once a long time ago, and I imagine that had to be relatively quick, and at this point I feel like we could switch pretty dang fast if we wanted. And definitely in an emergency situation, though I can't really think of when that would be. Anyways I'd just say it takes a lot of practice if you wanna be able to do it fast, and we've got a lot of practice, and maybe it takes your tulpa getting used to your body too. 'Cus when we first started we would get tired after 4-8 hours if we went that long, over some months it got to be we'd be tired by the end of the day, then we could stay switched pretty much forever. Since we're between school and work right now I've been fronting for over a month now! (Lumi said I might not get many chances to play around for very long once we're working or back in school, which is in like a week for work, so I should take all the time I could now)

 

We're naturally all logical and calm and stuff so just how our mind works none of us freak out in emergency scenarios, just a little different individually maybe, but I assume you're asking about the connection of ones not fronting to those situations? Honestly I think that totally depends on who's fronting, what the situation is and who's reacting. 'Cus nobody would worry too much if it was Tewi (she can handle anything as well as or better than us) or Lumi (Tewi might advise, idk what Flan would do if he was the emergency situation), I think Lumi or Tewi would worry if it was me, and Reisen can handle things just fine but if it was a violent scenario I think even I would be scared she might get hurt. She's very pacifist-y, we're very big (6'2") and Reisen will do whatever it takes to make sure no one gets hurt.

 

But to put it shortly, the only one who would ever try and instant-switch to deal with an emergency is Tewi, because we're all pretty much as capable as each other for dealing with any scenario. Except Tewi 1) is moreso and 2) considers it her responsibility to make sure we're all okay. So if it was REAL bad maybe she would, but I think I'm pretty strong willed too..

 

What a downer subject!

[tulpa001]

That is scary. I'd immediately look into your family member's history and check for threats against them or drug addiction problems. That's a major warning sign.

 

It is possible to switch at anytime. Natural plurals, who often have much less difficulty switching use the term trigger, to refer to a context or language that causes involuntary switching, and can often not control it. In tulpamancy, switching seems to always be controlled, so we don't need triggers except to try to speed the process. The process can take around five minutes for some individuals, to avoid blendy feelings. But some people can do it midstep.

 

I can swap body control with my host midstep.

[Lucilyn]

The process can take around five minutes for some individuals, to avoid blendy feelings. But some people can do it midstep.

 

I can swap body control with my host midstep.

 

pretty much what he said, we usually take ~5 minutes just because it seems better not to rush it but we're pretty sure we can do it almost instantly by now if we wanted. The symbolism helps at first but eventually all that's necessary is the actual switching, and once you (host & tups) and your body/mind are used to what that entails it's really up to you guys how fast you do it. Also sometimes when we're just waking up but are pretty much still asleep we can just decide who's fronting, it's hard to think at that time but last time it happened Tewi literally told me she had no reason to front and so I could, lol. Maybe it's because no one's associated with the body at that point because you were just asleep, idk, but it doesn't happen often to us

[SunflowerMotorcycle]

May 25, 2017

12:18 AM

 

Woo! Update since we're no longer crazy busy with finals and moving back out of my dorm to home for the summer.

Sorry it's been so long.

 

Harley has definitely gotten stronger as a tulpa. During finals, I fell back on Harley bonding time. But this didn't exhaust her like it did before. I still made sure to check in but I was literally locked in my room for a few days working on finals (except meals, I promise I am taking care of our body), and while Harley wasn't responding as much as she normally does once things had calmed down, she was still present and not so lethargic as last time. I'm getting some bonding time in now to make up for any lost time.

 

She's more present than she was when I first started and that's really great to actually notice and feel the difference from when we started. We can both feel it. And she can cause head pressures at will so that's great.

 

However, even though it's been awhile, this is all for my P.R. as it is past midnight. I'll update more now that it's summer.

 

Also, thanks Tulpa001 and Lucilyn for your answers, that cleared up a lot with both Harley and I.

 

~Sunflower

[SunflowerMotorcycle]

June 2, 2017

1:01 AM

 

Wow I am just noticing that I continually post on here late at night. Huh. What a magical time.

 

Anyway, this PR is gonna be me telling you all about Harley and her personality, so you all can get to know her some before she is ready and comfortable with talking to other people.

 

For one thing she loves spicy foods, not so much sweets. Which can cause some annoyance on her part as I love sugar and am a spice wimp, but I'll try to have something mild for her when I can, and she's accepted that I like sweets and it doesn't cause as much conflict as it used to.

 

Also she swears some. At first, it would make a sailor blush with how much she was cursing, but after listening to people talk who do curse (As I tend not to) she's toned it down to a more casual thing (she's interjecting now that she thought it was really fun at first, but the kick has since mellowed). She realizes if she wants to interact with people she does have to take into account not everyone likes constant cursing, such as on a forum or when talking to a professor for example.

 

Harley likes to be productive. She hates boredom, and knows there are several things I have yet to do pretty much at all times and asks me to actually do these things.

Oh and she loves taking really long, hot showers and sleeping in. Those are the two things that she loves more than making sure I am doing what I should be. (So if I have a reading to do, but want to go to bed, she will be of the persuasion to burrow under the blanket and sleep til noon if we could.

 

She looks like me, but her voice is higher than mine. She says she likes how I look, and when we're ready for switching, she doesn't want the anatomical differences to freak her out or make it harder for her. Though her eyes are different, and she has a light tan (Whereas I burn if I go out into the moonlight, let alone summer sun).

 

She's aggressive; not in a "I'll fight everyone" kind of way but in a protective way, and like she's ready for a fight. Not looking or hoping for one, if that makes any sense. Which is great cause we're taking a martial arts class next semester woo! (She is stoked for it). Also she refuses to let people get away with what she deems as bs. She'll remind me that I have to have boundaries and to take care of myself first, and she'll let me know if she thinks I'm not in the right.

 

She likes having a tough exterior persona and values putting in an effort, and fairness.

 

So that is some of who Harley is. I hope soon she will be ready and comfortable enough to message you all herself.

 

~Sunflower

[Sail]

Also she swears some.

 

Hallie doesn't swear (at least not at the moment, she isn't vocal) but yesterday...she sent me a very odd image that I wouldn't have thought of. She seemed completely opposite of how I would think her to be :D I myself don't curse either, but Hallie might

[Dynamo Lux]

Wow, Harley sounds just like me! :o

[SunflowerMotorcycle]

June 4, 2017

4:32 PM

 

(Wow I'm actually posting at a decent hour)

General update, Harley and I have been following this one page about different fandoms and they had an elimination contest to see which pokemon in the list was people's favorite. Harley doesn't know much about the game or the show, but she based her perception off what I thought of them. (We were rooting for different pokemon). It's really cool, she knows more than I thought she did.

I asked her how, since we hadn't talked pokemon before, and I'd only talked about the game in general maybe once or twice since she's been around. Apparently when I think of something, like a person or a thing she doesn't know about, she gets this..."file" as she described it, that basically just gets an idea of what that is, who it is, though it doesn't tell her everything about the thing. But It's like she gets short explanations of stuff without even trying to get them. (She doesn't know how to look for memories in my brain, but the "files" of our brain's experience with the person or thing give her any need-to-know info.

 

Also we plan on trying out some new places in the wonderland. We've just had like three areas and focused on them (But one is this really weird house and neither of us are mentally able to keep that in focus for very long because it's so complicated, so we may change the house altogether to make it easier on us) but we hadn't thought of doing things like going on adventures or even playing a video game in there, and we can totally do that.

 

Question: What are some of the weirder aspects or things you didn't think you'd be able to do in the wonderland? Like, I wouldn't have thought any of this was possible a few years ago, and I'm still somewhat new. What kinds of things do you all do in the wonderland?