Teens

[glitchthe3rd]

Luna: Ah, the bad old days when we were all gawky teenagers (myself included). Well, Elise wasn't around yet, but the others were. And yes, there was a lot of drama and a lot of horrible shit happened. But now that we're all adults we can look back on it and laugh/cringe about it. I don't think my host ever had that long think about whether we were really what he needed in his life (at least not as a teenager), but he made us anyway, either out of desperation or because he realized on some level that we could help him improve his situation.

[solarchariot]

"I am here to ask your honest opinion on teenagers and why you think the prejudice exists." Aww, my young friend, every human being has prejudice. There are many factors that play into this, family of origin, culture, gender, race, even age. Older folks in Western countries tend to base their 'opinion' on a perceived bias of empirical data that more life experience means they are smarter and better. I say 'opinion' because there is general truth to the belief the more experience you have the better decisions you make, but that doesn't hold true for everyone, just statistically, probably more than 50 percent. Given how many adults continue to make bad decisions, I am not willing to go more than 60 percent, without reading some actual empirical data, so, I, too am generalizing. Along that line, I think tulpamancy tends to draw a percentage of folks that are more sophisticated and or more intelligent than the average person. (I think there is actually a study to support that. Visserie?) So, as an adult you might here me recommend a teenager seriously think again, like more than two hours worth of consideration, but I am also of the opinion the best way to get experience is to do a thing. All decisions, even the decision to do nothing, has consequences. When should a person do something or not is very personal, situational, contextual, and multifaceted.

 

My first assumption, for example, would be that teens aren't making tulpa because 'they only think about sex.' I would assume loneliness and or limited social opportunities, which again is often related to intelgence. Smarter people tend to have a more difficult time connecting, especially if those around them are all focused on fluff. And if you're a teen and you're smart and not connecting because people too around you are too much drama on focused on fluff, you're (unconsciously) adding to the myth that 'teens are generally not ready for making the decision to engage in tulpmancy.' Out of all your teen peers, how many do you suppose are really ready for that kind of commitment? How many people, adults included, get a dog because getting a dog is 'good,' but the dog is alone in the house or in the back yard most of the time? What an awful thing to do to a dog. If a person can't commit to a pet, and pets need time, then extrapolate how much more serious of an endeavor is a tulpa? Tulpamancy is bigger than a marriage. Statistically, what's the life span of any teenage romance? A school year? A semester? How many marry their highschool sweetheart? Given the divorce rate is more than fifty percent, adults may not even be ready for tulpamate, because guess what, tulpas deviate and have feelings and concerns and loves and wants that may not reflect the wants and needs of the host. Divorcing a tulpa is not an option. (I personally think it's impossible to get rid of a tulpa. I based that on how difficult it is to rid ourselves of negative tapes. You may scare your tulpa into hiding, and it may do better being sentient than a random tape of 'I'm ugly' or 'im not good enough' but those tapes do have annoying way of coming back to haunt us when we least expect them.)  Oh, more on the sex, I would bet more adults go into tulpamancy because of the sex equation than teens.

 

And we should this part into your equation: You asked your question in a very safe, tulpa and host friendly place. People here will give you advice, but even in the advice, and in the general guides, people acknowledge that no one can stop you. They're only urging you to consider because they have experienced some things. If you were to generally ask this question to non-tulpa knowledgeable people, your response would likely be 'you're crazy.' I do hope I am safe saying that 'no one here' will think you're crazy. hearing someone recommend you wait a little is not a disrespect to you, but actually an expression of love and concern and respect to your ability to think; you asked a question, people think you will hear them. And that is also about life experience. Teenagers in general think that any 'no' or 'I would like you to consider this further' as being dismissive of their general abilities and talents. You said it - "I know what's best for me." No one can argue with that. That is valid statement. You will always be the expert in your life. That said, people that lead with "I know what's best for me" generally aren't displaying maturity, or even a respectful listening ear, that considers the others opinion. There is difference from hearing a recommendation, considering it and rationalizing it down, as opposed to blocking and not receiving advice.

 

If I were basing further opinion based on just this post, having not read anything else of yours, I would consider you reasonably mature enough to engage in tulpamancy. You show that you are thoughtful and articulate, and I know adults who have not done as well. I'm thinking you will do okay and you will find a way to integrate your tulpa into your future life and grow and adapt. It's still a fringe life, one that few outside this group will understand, and could very well impact other areas. Maybe even for the better. In the end, even that is up to the individual to discern and make for themselves.

 

PS, I work in the mental health field. I assess adults, adolescence, and children for mental health. I intentionally stopped seeing kids because I don't believe they are all mentally ill. If a child or adolescence is in my office, 90 percent of them have dysfunctional adult caregivers. Fix the parents, you fixed the kids. And I absolutely detest pathologizing kids when its family systems. Kids acting out are actually expressing sanity in an insane world. Seeking a tulpa doesn't mean you're crazy, but is a recognition that there is something more than what we are generally encouraged to pursue in our culture. And that is pretty waited prejudice on my part.