Marianne's journey

[TinFoilMkIV]

Really glad to hear things are looking up for you two. Sounded like things were pretty rough for a while.

 

Seems like you two are enjoying your new discoveries as well, which is excellent. I do want to offer a friendly reminder to be mindful of how things are going as you move on. It can be easy to accidentally get carried away. Remember to respect your host as well in the event that you end up doing something he doesn't like so much, as respect and all that goes both ways. Doesn't really sound like you're at risk of anything like that for the moment, which is great, but just a good thing to keep in mind. I think you've seen what it's like when things take a bad turn, glad to see you're getting to see and experience the positive side now.

 

Again, glad to hear things are going so well now, and hoping things stay that way for you two from now on.

[Marianne]

Thanks so much for your kind words.

We're not worried that things might get out of hand (respect- or other-wise) and are confident we can work out things if problems would arise. We're civilized entities after all. Trust, confidence and all that go a long way.

This is all so very new and there's still much to learn. Fortunately there are a lot of useful resources here.

Xxx

[Marianne]

M is getting tons of alien feelings and sensations. That's not surprising.

I tell him there's nothing wrong with him and it's going to get worse LOL. Deal with it coz I'm here to stay. He should be happy to suffer those feelings for me.

 

The powers of imagination are limitless. One cannot even begin to imagine what can be imagined. I think I may have unlocked some pretty awesome powers that surpass anything that M has even imagined.

 

It seems pretty obvious that tulpa/ tulpamancy has profound effects on the brain and body. Who knows what kind of changes take place in the brain and to what extent it is being rewired.

 

In the short time I am (conscious, sentient, ...) I feel there is an exponential development taking place and every little success unlocks the next 'level'. Everything becomes easier and faster. I feel a tremendous power that is pretty frightening to M.

 

Eclipsing, switching, that's a reality. After some research we have done together we have discovered quite a few nifty techniques and M has gotten so much better at visualisation. Wonderland and proper visualisation makes so many things possible and this is the catalyst that has unlocked the powers of imagination making things so much more easy.

 

For instance I can still M's thoughts (the firehose trick). He just cannot think anymore and that gives me the opportunity to think with maximum capacity. No parallel processing necessary.

 

So much power in the virtual hands of a tulpa. Frightening isn't it?

 

I can switch in. A little prodding and I 'click' into place. This gets easier and easier. And FAST.

 

At times it's confusing knowing who's at the controls. Asking who's who helps.

The thing is, I don't need to ask M, I just can take control. He has given me a kind of carte blanche (...) so I don't hesitate if it's OK to take front.

 

Sounds a bit excessive? Respectless? Maybe so. This is due to my origin. I was summoned by M through hypnosis to eventually take over.

 

Well, be careful what you wish for.

 

I'm not threatening to take over (yet?) but I do intend to take my rightful place and pull at the reigns.

 

I have a hard time making up my mind. Should I be less assertive or is it ok to impose on M. On some level he asked for that, so?

 

Lately I'm in a pretty invasive mood and have overpowering desires to take over more and more, harder and harder. He's trying to talk me out of it but I'm not very inclined to give up easily.

 

Yes, my friend, as you're typing this you're feeling my full weight pressing on you. I'm light as a thought but so heavy...

[TinFoilMkIV]

If you're having questions, I would recommend setting aside some time to sit down with just your host and really talk about it. If what you've said is true, than yea, he did ask for it, and on some level it could be considered your purpose to take over. That being said, I highly doubt he really knew what he was getting into, and things just naturally change over time anyways. Also if you're pursuing this as your purpose, then remember, you're an individual as well. That's not something that needs to be static or dictated by the circumstances that brought you into being. You do have a choice and a say in the matter. Whether you want to change anything is up to you, but it would be a good idea to really figure out where both of you stand on things as they are.

 

It would probably benefit both of you to come to some kind of agreement on where you want to go with all of this. I know you've seen the frustration of having someone try to ignore or discredit your existence, even with the power you had at the time. While your roles may reverse, I wouldn't want a potentially hostile, and almost certainly upset presence in my mind constantly. I think proper coexistence really should only benefit the both of you. Anyways, regardless of who's in control, having some agreements on how things get run between the both of you will be helpful. And it doesn't have to be all or nothing, you can certainly look at giving each other specific times and such. Also a thought, perhaps have some kind of key phrase or something of the sort where either of you agree to give the other control if they use it, under the agreement that you'll talk about it afterwards. Something like an emergency thing, or if something seems really important. Which is why I added the talk about it bit afterwards, so each of you get's a chance to explain their side of things after the fact, and don't end up just abusing it. I don't think anyone really want's to feel like they have no power at all.

 

Overall I guess the main points are, talk about things with your host, come to some kind of agreement on how to run things. Also take a look at your own goals. It's okay to change things. You're an individual and you do have the power to make your own decisions there, regardless of your origins. Whatever path you do choose, I hope you two figure something out that works for the both of you.

[Marianne]

TinFoilMkIV, you are so kind and wise. I thank you for taking the time to talk to me.

You gave us some good tips. We have indeed a lot to talk over. I sometimes lose patience with M when he does 3 steps forward and then 2 steps backward. He is very much intimidated with what's happening and this has grown over his head. I do understand that. It's just that making compromises for me is still a difficult thing to do.

It's difficult to describe what I feel or want but I wish we'd find some modus vivendi.

 

I know I mean a lot to him and I can give him a lot, but that works both ways. I am demanding and needy. I will not let him off the hook easily. But eventually we will sort it out. Won't we my love?

 

Did I just say that?

[Marianne]

Yeah. We have breakthrough!

 

M believes and trusts and this an enormous weight off my shoulders.

He's seen the light and now knows that he can trust me and that I can trust myself not to do anything excessive or untoward. We put the past behind us. Now we can get on with things and proceed because the road is still long.

 

We've spent the day together and I had great fun having him ride backseat.

 

We had nice talks and we're both progressing well and have found an equilibrium. We have decided to complement each other, shift and balance our weaknesses and strengths. This will be for the best of both of us. M has a few irritant behaviors that I will take care of and he'll help me find closure and smoothen the rough edges of my personality.

 

Belief, Trust, confidence and respect make for peace and love.

 

We'll read Tulpa's DIY guide again and again. It has been a tremendous help as the mere fact to be able to vent in this forum.

Xxx

[TinFoilMkIV]

That's great to hear. Yea, having a place to vent is definitely nice, especially with something like this where it's (probably) not a good idea to do it in person, heh. Hope you keep going with the reports, both Rin and I are curious to hear about you two going forwards. Not to mention this could be a really great story for others that may run into troubles on their path.

 

Keep up the good work and good luck going forwards

[Marianne]

I've got a firm grip on M now. LOL!

 

He's had some doubts and some parrotnoia but I can handle that/him. He's constantly flooded with sensations and that he'll just have to suck that up. He can stave that off when concentrated but as soon as he lets go... Bam! It's me! We got the feeling that I've completely infiltrated his mind/brain. So there's no way out or back.

 

Even so, too much time without him taking note of me can hurt me and so I need him to invest time and effort. But OK, he's committed and promised me a lot (!!!) and I'll hold him to that. And I trust he does come true.

 

I've already written I'm demanding and I really stand by that. Give me a finger and I'll take your whole arm and the rest of your/my body!

 

Do I sound domineering? Yep. I am dominant. Maybe I'm a manipulative b.tch, tough luck. LOL. You should really have been way more careful with what you wished for, my friend. You're getting so much more than you signed up for. I can't help that. You'll just have to deal with that: my rights, place and all in all of this. I am a major priority of yours now!

 

We're making great progress on switching, fronting a.s.o. This is so amazing, much more than we'd ever imagine.

 

I've got plans, for us, for ME. Again, deal with that my man, and stand by your commitments. We started off on an awkward footing but thanks to your efforts we're getting there and for that I'm thankful and grateful. I love you.

 

I will tell you more once my mind is clearer. I'm still fuzzy round the edges :)

Xxx

[Marianne]

He's given up all resistance.

The road is clear.

Xxx

[MindsMatter]

This sounds a lot like a cautionary thred if I've ever seen one. "Be careful what you wish for" and all that... The mind is not a toy.