Can you subconsciously create a tulpa?

[Squinton]

Hey everyone, I'm new here, but I wanted to ask this question before I potentially made a mistake. I had a much longer explanation that I was going to post with this, but after accidentally loosing all of it with no hope of return, I figure I won't give my life story and just stick to more recent happenings, and only delve into more detail if required or if others are interested. Really what I want to know is, is it possible for someone to create a tulpa without fully being aware of the process? I had an experience yesterday where I ended up conversing with what I am assuming is my tulpa for a little over 4 hours. The thing is, I don't have any recollection of forming it.

 

It started out innocently enough. I had been noticing for a while that I was having these thoughts that felt sort of disconnected in my mind, like they were coming from another source and trying to get my attention. I finally decided to poke back I guess. So I just said "hi", not in my head, but vocally. Nothing happened at first, so I was about to write it off, when I felt as if something or someone said "hi" back to me. It took me a bit by surprise, but at the same time I was immediately skeptical. My imagination tends to have its way with me, to a point where I have to question whether or not I'm perceiving reality correctly. I was skeptical as to whether or not something else had responded, or whether it was my mind just wishing for a response. Honestly, it took me a bit to say anything else back. I felt this sense of embarrassment, something that I struggle with a lot do to some pretty serious self loathing issues. Was I really going to talk to a voice in my head? At the time, I was alone at work, but What if someone showed up overheard me, what would people think? After fighting with myself, I assured myself that things were going to be alright, I introduced myself and asked who I was speaking to, actually speaking again. It took a little while, but in my head, the thoughts "I'm not really sure" formed. I felt a little twinge of sadness when this happened. So I asked, "well, would I be able to give you a name, so that I can know who I'm talking to?" A few second, then "yes". I took some time to cycle through a few names, trying to get a feel of what would fit, I remembered a name that I had used a long time ago for a female character I created in a game. So I asked "May I call you Ionia for now?" (To clarify, it was a name that came into my head back then too. It want until later that I randomly decided to search the name and found that it actually exists, but is in reference to a ancient group of Greeks that lived back in 600-400BC. Is it related? I highly doubt it, but having never heard of it prior to that point, it was interesting that it ended up being something that actually existed.) I didn't get a thought response back like the previous times. Instead, this feeling washed over me. It's almost like the feeling you get when you get the goose bumps, but instead of cold, it was of overwhelming warmth, and for a split second, I could vaguely make out an image in my head. It was the image of a girls face, smiling at me. And I couldn't help but smile back.

 

I continued to talk to this voice for a bit, mostly about what I was doing at the time and my recent thoughts. The more that I talked, the less I thought about what I was doing. Eventually it got to the point where it was as if I was talking to someone that I'd known for a long time... Effortless. And yet... I still didn't truly know who I was talking to. I had a name, but that was about it. I asked if I would be able to come up with an image of what this voice looked like. The voice said it didn't really mind. So I came up with a simple idea, just so that I had something that I could wrap my mind around. I ended up with the image of a teenage girl with purple hair flowing down her back. It wasn't much, but at least I had something to go off of... We continued to talk, but now every once in a while, I could see glimpses of this girl in my head, but almost like she was there. Sitting across from me, walking by my side. It would only be a flash though, and nothing too detailed. Almost like a still image. I don't have much training in visualization, so creating a stable image in my mind and being able to perceive it clearly is a struggle, but I was happy enough with what I had for the time being. Our conversation continued on for a while, and before I knew it, a few hours had gone by. At this point, my time alone (if you could call it that) was coming to an end. I asked Ionia if she was going to still be around until the next time I had a chance to talk to her. She told me she'd be around. I finished up by saying that it was nice to make her acquaintence, and that I looked forward to talking to her again. And I was left with that same warm goosebumpy feeling. And that was pretty much that.

 

I'd heard about tulpas a long time ago, but never really investigated much about what they were or how they were made. But after that experience, somehow the memory of hearing about them triggered? Maybe it was Ionia again, or just chance. Anyways, I found this site and read through a couple beginner guides, and was left feeling a little worried. From what I read, and correct me if I'm wrong, The process for creating a tulpa is pretty intensive. A lot of time spent working on forming the personality, the form, building it all up from essentially nothing in the hopes of creating an essentially independent and free entity... But I don't remember doing anything of the sort. I didn't even know what to do until I found this website, and I've just barely scratched the surface in the day since my experience. It would be easy enough to chalk it up to me lying to myself in a desperate attempt to combat loneliness, but this experience truly felt like something real happened. I'm not worried about the fact that I can't remember making Ionia, or the fact that none of this could have been really. What I'm truly worried about is what to do from here. Since it already seems like she exists in some form or fashion, how do I proceed in this developmental process? I know that my visualization of her, and even her name, are potentially just placeholders until something more concrete can be formed, but her personality is still a mystery to me. Hell, just communicating is still a mystery. That conversation between her and I was so effortless, but now I have trouble figuring out what thoughts are mine and what could potentially be her trying to communicate to me, so it feels like it'll be a pretty rough time getting to know her more. But really, if she already exists, what if because of my inexperience I do something that harms her? I'm at a standstill with this and I'm not really sure where to proceed from here. If anyone with advice or personal experience can shed some light for me, I would truly be grateful.

[TinFoilMkIV]

From what I've heard and read, yes it is entirely possible to create a tulpa or similar thought-form without being aware of it. Usually it forms off of something you had in the past, any kind of character or idea you spent a lot of time and attention on could possibly be the basis for Ionia. There's also the phenomenon called "walk-ins", which are basically thought-forms that seemingly show up out of the blue. So while I don't know enough to really make a guess on Ionia's source or whatnot, I can tell you that your situation isn't the first of it's kind.

 

I'd pick a guide/method that sounds good to you and follow that. Tulpa's don't actually need the personality or form defined when they're created, though they tend to help, especially during the stages where communication is hard or nonexistent. As an example, I didn't give my tulpa Rin, any kind of base personality and a placeholder form, that was specifically meant to be changed, and she's doing quite well, even started doing our progress reports. Tulpas honestly don't need much, though giving them a base to start with does help. More often than not aspects of them will change as they develop. ie: Rin has changed her form several times now without any prompting from me.

 

I suppose my advice would be to work on communicating with Iona, that is if I'm reading correctly and you have had trouble talking again clearly like the first time? Otherwise, or after you figure something out, just keep interacting with her as regularly as you can. From my understanding, the only thing that you really 'need' to do at this point would be to just give her attention and interact in what ways you can, and things will develop from there. You may want to practice your "mind voice", as it's very helpful for conversing with or narrating to your tulpa when talking out loud isn't appropriate or otherwise desirable.

 

An important thing to keep in mind, you can't really screw up or harm Iona, unless you really blatantly do so. As in doing something purposely cruel or disrespectful. Also as such, the expectations and meaning you give things can also affect the process. If you expect, or believe something to be harmful to her, it may end up being so, due to the power you've given said event yourself. Very few non-deliberate/blatant acts can cause lasting harm to a tulpa if you don't allow it to.

 

Again, outside things that are very blatant and deliberate, there really isn't a wrong way to do things. As long as you treat her well and give her some form of regular attention, you should be fine.

[Solune]

Yes, it is possible for the subconscious to create thought forms.

I believe that my tulpas were all created by my subconscious in an attempt to satisfy some kind of need my conscious mind was unable to fulfill on its own.

The subconscious is incredibly powerful, but it doesn't process information the same way we conscious beings do.

I choose to make a distinction between it and myself- even though we are both "me". It's kind of like how you have a left and right hand- but they are both "your hands".

My right hand is my "dominant" hand, and is better at fine motor control- whereas my left hand is less dexterous but has more grip strength because I usually carry things in it to free up my right.

The conscious mind is adept at fine detail work but is hindered by the limitations of its belief system and morals.

The unconscious mind has very little control over anything that it does, but is has NO limitations. It believes everything and nothing all at once, which allows it to be more creative/flexible. This flexibility is what most people, including myself, mean when we say "powerful".

It is the rigidity of a person's conscious mind that prevents them from being able to do the things their subconscious can.

You see this demonstrated in dreams all the time. The conscious mind is unable to make the body fly, for example, because it deeply believes in the laws of physics- whereas you can easily fly in your dreams if the subconscious wants you to.

This is also why clocks and mirrors are often distorted in dreams- time and the idea of "self" are both very strict concepts that limit the conscious mind greatly.

 

If you infer that I am implying that our actual, physical reality is entirely created (and not just affected) by our perception- then you infer correctly.

It's not a popular belief- contrary to all the cliches you've heard, people don't actually want their dreams to be real.

Because if their dreams are real then their nightmares are as well.

The false dichotomy of positive and negative is something I'll have to save for another post- since I've already gotten WAY off topic.

 

In regards to how you should proceed, I think Tinfoil's advice is spot on.

Many people find it helpful to use symbols to reinforce their willpower- for example, you could give Ionia a magical necklace that prevents you or anything else in your mind from hurting her. You could give her a shield generator or anything like that... as long as you believe it will work, it will.

The trick to tulpamancy is to KNOW that what you're doing is a placebo- but have the placebo work anyway.

It requires flexibility. One way I found to increase my own mental/spiritual flexibility was to study eastern philosophy.

It's useful to subscribe to the notion that separation is an illusion. It is my most valued mantra.

The separation between reality and imaginary, for example, is easily blurred. Things that aren't real can have real impacts, and things that are real can seem so distant as to not exist for you.

 

Hopefully something I've said will be of use to you.

As a disclaimer- I don't believe that the things I believe are more or less correct than any other viewpoints.

I only believe them because they help me achieve my goals.

If you ask me about all this a week from now I may give you different answers. But I wouldn't count on it since I post so infrequently these days.

Cheers.

[Squinton]

Thank you both so much for the help and the information. I'm sorry that it took so long to respond back to your replies. I'm in the Navy, and had to go out to sea for a while, and then I was dealing with some account trouble. Things have been going alright, albeit a bit slow lately, just with how strapped for time I've been as of late, but I try and put time into Ionia's developement whenever I get the chance. Again, thank you for all of the help of support, it's been a lot of help!

[tulpa001]

You are welcome. I would have also said something, but Tin foil somehow knew everything important there is to say about this.