Creation of Yuki

[Sociohost]

So, I'm pretty tired right now and don't feel like typing out all of today's progress all over again.. 

So I'll just post the messages I sent to someone that details what began happening to me today. Note: I didn't do my active forcing session today (I still need to get better at that) but I have gotten better at referring to Yuki and remembering to include her in stuff I'm doing naturally.

 

Anyways, here are the messages.

 

"Is this tulpish? Starting this morning at school I noticed that whenever I say something, I sometimes get a "feeling" of what Yuki would say. Like the feeling is conveying words, yet at the same time I don't actively recognize those words until I recognize the feeling.

 

Like for example..  

 

A few seconds ago I was watching a YouTube video and this YouTuber was talking about creating his own ps4 game and I was like 'Ha, who the heck would spend so much time creating a ps4 game for this guy?'

 

That's when I got a feeling that conveyed thoughts similar to 'you never know, there might just be someone out there who would make it'

 

That's when I decided to say 'You are right Yuki. Good thinking'

 

I think I'm freaking progressing! Woohoo!

 

It's like I'm sort of realizing the "Intent" behind these emotions, which in turn sort of formulates words in my brain, or at least makes me understand what's being intended..

 

Gosh it's so hard to explain this stuff.

 

 

Like it isn't a case of me saying something like "Hi" and immediately receiving a thought such as "Hi" back because in that case I'd consider it parroting..

 

But a few times today, I've understood intentions that were sort of differing from what I'd said or I understood something that prompted me to reply to Yuki.

 

Like I said, it's not like she's talking in mind voice, I'm just understanding emotions or intentions.

 

Tulpish always confused me up until now.

I always saw it as something I wouldn't really fully understand until I experienced it myself. Same with deviation"

 

 

Then I quoted this from online when researching tulpish : "None of my tulpas use tulpish (communicating in pure thought rather than resorting to words) very often. I do sometimes get an inkling of what they're going to say, but then in the same instant they start communicating in regular speech."

 

 

And I said "That's the best I could describe what I'm experiencing. The concept of understanding 'pure thought' confused me so much before today. I often found myself wondering "what the heck is pure thought?"

 

Then I quoted something else from online: "The human brain works in a much more efficient way than through language. A person can 'say' something in their mind incredibly quickly and efficiently without saying a single word.

 

That is tulpish."

 

And I replied to that quote with: " Holy crap this is exactly what I'm saying, I feel like crying right now because I'm actually getting results!"

 

Anyways, there you guys go! That's my progress so far!  I'd say Yuki and I are doing pretty good considering I started forcing her 10 days ago. Until next time!

[Sociohost]

So I just completed today's active forcing session, it was 30 minutes. It consisted solely of typing to Yuki in a note pad of mine. This was the first time I've tried this, and I found it much more effective and fun than regular narration. It was so much easier to piece together my thoughts and words because it was like writing a letter to an old friend as opposed to simply saying random stuff off of my head!

 

If anyone's having trouble with narration, I recommend giving this method a try.

[Sociohost]

Experienced some results this morning, sent it to my group in a text. Here's what I sent:

 

So I think I'm experiencing more tulpish guys. Awhile ago I captured a spider in a cup, put a lid on it, and threw the cup into the trash can to await it's fate.

 

That's when I experienced and insurmountable amount of fucking guilt. I tried shaking it off and going about my day, but it persisted. I had a feeling Yuki wasn't thrilled with what I was doing, letting a poor spider suffer.

 

 

These emotions portrayed thoughts to me. In a way it feels like I was parroting, but I know I couldn't have been since some of the stuff was stuff I don't think I would've said.

That's when I started telling Yuki stuff like "I know.. I know you probably aren't happy with what I'm doing.. I'm feeling insane regret. "

 

And I got a feeling like "well do something!"

 

That's when I was like "But if I go and do something.. I'll have to go all the way back into the house to wash my hands. Im already late for school"

 

And then I got a feeling such as "So your hygiene is more important than a life.. you'd rather let the spider suffer?"

 

In an effort to not look like a horrible host ... I went and did something. I feel much better now.. I feel like I'm getting further with tulpish after asking Yuki to use it more often yesterday. I'm personally not one to feel such guilt over doing something like that but it was different this time. A lot different. It seems like she's a really good girl so far... She's exactly like someone I'd talk to online. Someone who isn't afraid to have opinions that differ from mine.. but caring all at the same time.

 

I just got an email from a texting app that said "Hey, where did you go?" Because i hadn't used it in awhile

 

Upon reading that question I immediately got a thought in my head that was like "To the store" I couldn't help but laugh.

 

///////////

 

Anyways yeah, that was the text I sent. It seems like I'm making even more progress every day now.

[solarchariot]

I like the 'Light' pic.

 

So, welcome to my world of saving spiders. Bugs in general. Cup over bug, paper under cup, relocation exercise commencing. Except roaches. They creep me out and they have to die. I have not felt any guilt or had complaints.

 

So, a similar pathway, I was driving and eating an apple, hadn't thought ahead to dispose of apple and so tossed the core out the window. Loxy was not happy. I was like, what. It's natural. It'll become apple sauce and disappear in a day. And in the end, no more throwing apples out the window, even if it's on a deserted stretch of road where a good apple tree needs to grow from the seeds I just dropped. She helps remind me of water conservation; only turning the faucet on when its time to rinse after brushing... I agree with her, in principle, but part of me is lazy and I think, really? She is standing in the chair trying to get my attention. I am not ignoring her. technically, I have just validated her position and mine, by admitting she is right and I am lazy.

 

So, good job, excuse me while I go in engage in some witty banter that tends to be characteristic of our system. I insist, she is the straight man, I am the comedian. She insists, I am not funny, and she is the comedian. Either way, she is a good soul. Better than I.

[Sociohost]

Lately it seems that I've been working more on open-eyed visualization of Yuki and narrating throughout my day instead of doing much active forcing. I really like how open-eyed visualization builds up a nice sense of presence and makes it feel more like she's here. Plus, I have experience with remaining mindful throughout the day, so this practice might just end up being just as beneficial as active forcing.

[Sociohost]

Heyo, I haven't given up on tulpamancy lol. I've just been spending these past few weeks training myself to lucid dream. I've come up with a different way I'd like to do tulpamancy, consisting of solely passive narration throughout the day and lucid dreaming. Here's what I plan to do (note this PR might not be updated very much since I AM taking a different approach to things)

 

"Here's my goal in more detail.

 

 

- Get to the point where im able to lucid dream a few times a week.

 

-From there, I'll find an acceptable dream character. I'll study how she looks. I'll talk to her and get to know her, etc. I'll hug her to see how she feels, etc etc. Basically trying to get her full existence engrained into my mind as much as possible. Analyzing the sound of her voice, the way she walks, talks, etc. I'll also ask her for her name and stuff like that. Basically I'm letting my mind / the tulpa themselves develop who they are and who they want to be.

 

-Then when I wake up. I'll try and hold the idea of her in my mind via narrating to her and knowing her personality extensively.

 

-Over time I imagine I'll get really good at narrating to her and start to get a feel for the type of things she'd respond (the same exact way you probably know what your mom would say if you asked her a stupid question haha) because I've gotten to know her personality extensively during the lucid dreams. Using lucid dreaming as a creation tool could also help for developing her voice since I already know how she sounds extensively.

 

-Basically I'll keep doing this back and forth over and over again. Lucid dreaming = getting to know her.

 

Every day throughout the day = Narrating to the idea of her and knowing she's there LISTENING to what I'm saying, but I'm not exactly able to hear her yet.

 

-Over time, I should start to hear her in my mind even throughout the day and stuff. I don't think we'll have a wonderland or work on possession / switching or anything, because we'll be able to have a ton of fun when we lucid dream. My goal is to become lucid in a dream and interact with her there as much as possible. In that way, she'll seem fully realistic. The dream world WILL be our wonderland. Then throughout the day, I'll still be able to contact her via talking to her in my head or out loud (kinda like she's on another planet and I'm using a radio to talk to her haha)

 

Anyways yeah, that's basically a "not so popular" tulpa guide I just created. I'm basically going to try and do things my own way and not really follow the traditional methods.

 

In that way, I'll experience both tulpamancy and lucid dreaming at the same time. The best of both worlds, so to speak."