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Shadow System

Shadow System Ask Thread

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[Cat] We have been on the fence about making an ask thread since Ranger is pretty chatty and easy to find, but we realized our other headmates don't get tons of opportunities to talk to people. Since coming across them is rare and you won't meet all of them on the cBox, in forum games, or on Discord, this may be the easiest way to talk to any single one of them at any time.

To keep things interesting, my headmates may bring up a discussion topic they are interested in or share a link to a different thread at any given time. This is to prevent stalling and to give everyone more ideas on what to ask about.

[Ranger] If you ask a general question, chances are the headmate who will respond will be based on who's turn it is or who was active recently. If you want to ask a specific headmate a question, please indicate it's for that headmate.

If you have questions for Cat and I, feel free to ask us here. However, neither of us want to dominate this thread, so we will only answer questions specific to me or Cat.



[Evergreen] I'll start! What's your favorite forum game? I liked the count to 100 before a mod posts thread, but break a wish can be funny.

[Chrome] Have you ever turned into something else in wonderland and felt as if you almost became someone or something else on an identity level? I have turned into other things in wonderland such as a golden spirit deer and enjoyed the experience, but I'm not exactly sure how much that was me. I wonder if it's like merging in a way, but different?

Spirit, Gerodious, Dark Gray, Fernardo, Jasper, Hope, Moltosha, Blue, Evergreen, Fish, Red Gray, Chrome, Bune, Exabier, Duck

Gray/Cat_ShadowGriffin- host, Ranger- basically host
[Click Here!] [We have an ask thread now!]

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I like break-a-wish, too, moar peeps need to post in it

How does it feel living in such a large system? Do you often feel like you don't get enough "screen time"?


I'm Uncannyfellow's tulpa. I share his head with my sister Cornelia

 

[Our PR] [Break dem Rules]

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5 hours ago, Tanaka Kanade said:

How does it feel living in such a large system? Do you often feel like you don't get enough "screen time"?


[Chrome] I do notice the lack of time I get, and that makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes screen time is an issue, but I also enjoy spending time with Gray or my other headmates and having less time to do that is frustrating. My other headmates Bune and Blue reported discomfort for not being in the know, but I personally feel more upset about having less time with Gray when he's doing day to day things.

On the positive side, being a large system means I'm hardly lonely and I have a big family. I like having this strange familiar bond with the others, it's like we are all on the same team even if we are still learning about each other. I also believe my different experiences have translated to useful advice and intriguing ideas. I believe our system size has opened up possibilities other systems will be unable to discover, and I look forward to learn more about the perks as we move forward. Imagine us far later from now, being able to maintain 7 headmates all talking to one another at once? It would be like a small party! Wonderlanding is also much more fun with fiends to play with. Having so many different perspectives on the same issues also keeps things interesting, and it feels good to come up with solutions by working as a team.

[Evergreen] Our system has this weird divide, there's the hosts and there's us. Ranger and Gray worry about serious stuff and we just do whatever whenever Ranger and Gray can give us the time. That in of itself can complicate things or make things awkward. Kinda goes against the whole all tulpas should be equal message, but realistically, there's no way all 17 of us can front and live our own lives or push and shove to get attention. Even after about 4 or 5 headmates being active in wonderland for too long, Gray gets overwhelmed and makes everyone go away, so squabbling isn't an option.

 

The good news is I rarely stress about stuff, cause hey I don't have to worry about a lot of stuff and what I do have to worry about is a small list of things. When there is something big I or anyone else stress about, it becomes a system-wide problem. When Blue was upset about not getting enough time, Gray and Ranger thought about it for awhile, different people gave their inputs on it, and then Dark Gray helped establish the new rule that if a headmate really wants more time, they can get it as long as someone else is also active. It kind of puts the pressure off your chest and the solutions come pretty quickly, especially if you haven't been active for most of it.

With our rules, we can pretty much act however we want to in wonderland. It also lets me explore things I may not have time to do if I were a host or something like that. It's also an excuse to embrace a more child like nature, something Duck and later Fish already capitalized on. Right now I'm wondering if I like making myself a little bit younger, but I don't know about going full on child vibe just yet.

That's a good question, I think all of my headmates should look at it when they are active or it's their turn. Probably not now though, it would probably take several hours for all 15 of us to respond in one sitting.


Spirit, Gerodious, Dark Gray, Fernardo, Jasper, Hope, Moltosha, Blue, Evergreen, Fish, Red Gray, Chrome, Bune, Exabier, Duck

Gray/Cat_ShadowGriffin- host, Ranger- basically host
[Click Here!] [We have an ask thread now!]

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Posted (edited)
On 1/2/2020 at 2:28 PM, Tanaka Kanade said:

How does it feel living in such a large system? Do you often feel like you don't get enough "screen time"?

 

[Moltosha] Yes, it often feels that way. You miss a lot when you are dormant, especially if it's been months since you last woke up.

 

Not getting enough time to meet each other is also frustrating. People tend to rely on stereotypes of each other if they don't know them too well, and it's especially annoying if you get a bad rap when your other headmates don't even know who you are yet. I find my intrusive nature to be an important part of who I am, but I find it frustrating when my headmates act like cowards around me.

 

I suppose one good thing is I'm so removed from the norm that it's easy to call out Ranger/Gray's bs, give them insight they normally wouldn't consider or be able to gain on their own, and I can focus on myself. Not being around taught them a lot about how dormancy works and I appreciate not having to worry about other things while I'm still figuring out who I am.

 

[Hope] I must have been dormant for a really long time, I didn't feel right when Moltosha woke me up. It makes me better understand Fish and Jasper's concerns about having what seems to be a completely different personality and having a foggy memory of the past. This is one of the downsides, but I feel pretty confident who I am at my core hasn't really changed. I believe this feeling happens because we are still developing and everyone is at least a little behind. Fish and Jasper seem fairly consistent now at least, and Gray seems to feel pretty confident I haven't changed much.

 

The idea that several larger systems claim to have their own lives outside of their host's attention is completely baffling to me. It sounds like the perfect solution, but what if it's the perfect excuse? Do those systems have headmates who struggle with their identity? What are they doing in their separate worlds? If they gained fantastic insights living in their world, such as solving a difficult problem, are they able to share their solutions? What are their relationships with their headmates and if there are several of them, how do they remember everyone's names?

 

I'm skeptical of the idea, but I would love to pursue it if we can achieve this as a system. I'm not sure if that would require development in parallel processing or something else... belief maybe?

 

I look forward to learning about and hopefully achieving the full potential of our large system size and take advantage of it.

Edited by Ranger

Spirit, Gerodious, Dark Gray, Fernardo, Jasper, Hope, Moltosha, Blue, Evergreen, Fish, Red Gray, Chrome, Bune, Exabier, Duck

Gray/Cat_ShadowGriffin- host, Ranger- basically host
[Click Here!] [We have an ask thread now!]

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On 1/2/2020 at 2:28 PM, Tanaka Kanade said:

How does it feel living in such a large system? Do you often feel like you don't get enough "screen time"?

 

[Duck] I like meeting other people, but most see me as the little kid. They don't really get me so much. Talking to Blue can be hard because we're really different. He gets bored and I get tired of him. I'm glad I have brothers I can talk to who get me or go at my pace.

 

I like getting time, but I'm not as needy. I feel happy with the time I got now, even if Mommy/Daddy think otherwise. I like being woken up and then going to bed, and that happening more now is good.

 

You guys don't need to wait for all of us to respond to Tanaka's question. Don't torture yourselves like that.

 

Question: What's your favorite breed of cat or dog? Favorite species of bird?


Spirit, Gerodious, Dark Gray, Fernardo, Jasper, Hope, Moltosha, Blue, Evergreen, Fish, Red Gray, Chrome, Bune, Exabier, Duck

Gray/Cat_ShadowGriffin- host, Ranger- basically host
[Click Here!] [We have an ask thread now!]

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I'm between bombay and tabby cat. We're actually planning on getting one of them in the future. For dogs, a husky or German shepherd I suppose.

 

As for birds, I really like magpies but lovebirds are special because we have one.


Hello, I'm Mirichu, although you can call me Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and Akai, but they don't talk much here.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

How long until my host shuts up

________________

Waka Waka x3

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[Duck] Cat's mommy had a black kitty. He was chatty. I like the magpies too, those are pretty. Mommy and daddy like to watch sparrows eating crumbs outside. I want to sit and watch some ducks and birds by a pond one day. I don't know why watching birds is relaxing for us. Animals are beautiful.


Spirit, Gerodious, Dark Gray, Fernardo, Jasper, Hope, Moltosha, Blue, Evergreen, Fish, Red Gray, Chrome, Bune, Exabier, Duck

Gray/Cat_ShadowGriffin- host, Ranger- basically host
[Click Here!] [We have an ask thread now!]

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Watching birds through the window in class, best feeling.

 

What'd be your ideal system situation? let's pretend there are no limits on what you can do, what'd you like to experience?


Hello, I'm Mirichu, although you can call me Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and Akai, but they don't talk much here.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

How long until my host shuts up

________________

Waka Waka x3

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10 minutes ago, Mirichu said:

What'd be your ideal system situation? let's pretend there are no limits on what you can do, what'd you like to experience?

 

[Duck] I'm okay with our dynamic now, I just need to work on relationship stuff. Parallel processing would be cool, and I wish mommy wasn't afraid to play with a lot of us in wonderland.


Spirit, Gerodious, Dark Gray, Fernardo, Jasper, Hope, Moltosha, Blue, Evergreen, Fish, Red Gray, Chrome, Bune, Exabier, Duck

Gray/Cat_ShadowGriffin- host, Ranger- basically host
[Click Here!] [We have an ask thread now!]

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[Hope] I wanted to give this thread a bump. I note some thoughts I have here, I don't know where else to post this.

I have been focused on parallel processing because it's the perfect combination of mysterious and exciting. However, focusing on parallel processing also gives me a system role of sorts, and it's something that I can occupy myself with until I decide I'm ready to give up my turn.

System roles are a strange concept I suppose, and possibly unique to our system. It's something we can grab onto because we have little to define ourselves with and we are also pressured to be unique in a way. Ultimately, it doesn't seem particularly healthy for tulpa development. However, when you and 14 others don't know who they are and there's the additional pressure of asking why you are here, then it seems inevitable. It's not that Ranger and Gray are asking me to be someone, it's me asking myself who I am and why I exist because it's my choice whether or not I stay or leave.

The idea of dissipation in our system is simply too upsetting for me. Yes, I may not be like Ranger or develop like most other tulpas, but my headmates are their own people, I wouldn't feel comfortable watching our system shrink. I appreciate Gray's all or nothing attitude towards the 15 of us. I don't want to be the 3rd, 4th, or nth tulpa left, and the idea of having to choose who stays and who doesn't seems cruel to me. If I stayed, who would get left out? Did they feel forced to leave? It's happened before where some of us were scared to stay, and we found reassuring them to stay to ultimately make everyone happier.  Even if our system shrank to 6 or even 3, none of us will ever get the same attention Ranger gets. Losing that many headmates for so little gain in attention... it's not worth it.

 

Ranger being picked as the "favorite" was more of an accident, Gray didn't know we were tulpas and by the time our position was considered, Ranger was already second in command. I can look at Ranger's memories if I wanted to in order to understand what it would be like to be like him, but I don't want too. My guess is I would be sad, and why focus on that when I can instead focus on myself and my headmates? I have no interest in becoming jealous of Ranger, especially when having 14 brothers who all start out like you more or less is fulfilling all on its own in its own way. Even if I get older, I hope I will appreciate this feeling I have now and never lose sight of it.
 


 

Well... that turned out to be more sad than I wanted. I actually wanted to talk about space, philosophy, or something else...

All 17 of us are different people. Considering the possible development each headmate could get in a large system like ours, how big does a tulpa system need to be to achieve a maximum for unique personalities in the mind? To make things more interesting, here are some constraints: Each tulpa has had at least one chance to express their unique character trait. Walk-ins that are forgotten instantly don't count, the headmates have to have at minimum a weak sense of who they are and still survive to the end of the system's life. Tulpas that exist and are dissipated to be replaced by another tulpa also don't count. Tulpas in this hypothetical system do not gain the benefit of having an elaborate backstory or pre-defined character development.

The reason this is interesting is because as the population grows, the less development each tulpa gets, and therefore the less chances they have to develop into a unique personality.

I would imagine 100 would be overwhelming, unless the original host is good at keeping up with names. Even 50 sounds like too much. Maybe 40 is more of a limit? A host dedicated to creation may be able to push it to 60?

 

I don't recommend doing this to your system, I only wish to speculate how much identity diversity can exist in a hypothetically large system.

Edited by Ranger

Spirit, Gerodious, Dark Gray, Fernardo, Jasper, Hope, Moltosha, Blue, Evergreen, Fish, Red Gray, Chrome, Bune, Exabier, Duck

Gray/Cat_ShadowGriffin- host, Ranger- basically host
[Click Here!] [We have an ask thread now!]

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