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Taylor and co.'s adventures


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Mary here. I don't know why I'm dictating this. Taylor says I should talk to people who are not her. I'm not sure what to say. I've been talking a lot more than I used to. We've been reading a lot of books together, though Taylor has bad taste and insists on reading the worst ones to completion. Meditation is garbage and a waste of time. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say.

Wow, I sound really negative. I'm not. We're having a lot of fun doing nothing and the bad books can be really funny. But Taylor won't let me talk about all the best stuff because she's a meanie. But I get why. Huh. Everything I say really does sound strange without all the internal nuance attached. It barely feels like me.

 

We're SUPPOSED to be working on switching but Taylor is distracted by meatspace stuff. And She makes me sit through all the most boring stuff and pretends that it's all vitally important things I have to know to be in charge. She's so weird. She doesn't even like my fashion sense.

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  • 2 months later...

We've been making lots of progress. Mary is getting noticeably stronger every day. Communication is much less spotty and we're able to have long conversations in which we don't have to agree. Talking about things is really nice. Mary chimes in on almost everything happening to us, and today I realized she'll respond whether I like it or not so I have to intentionally tune her out to get some quiet (she rolls her eyes). I asked some big questions like what Mary's first memory was and she was able to show me directly. She also talked in depth about her feelings on tulpamancy, which she can share if she feels like typing up a long post later. I've been trying to read fewer boring books since Mary started telling me which one she wanted to read from on a regular basis. She's also gotten much more active in terms of movements, getting up and doing things in mindspace without prompting. When I'm not looking the processing is very slow, but we'll figure out a way to make it better.

We have possession down now. It was unnervingly easy and I worry I'm faking sometimes. We made it to full body possession in a few hours of work. The issue now is Mary breathing and me not panicking. I still take back what's being possessed accidentally if I'm not careful but I'm getting better. I don't actually have to associate with the body or pretend it's mine in order to pilot it like this. It seems to be like driving a car (which I haven't been allowed to do yet) in that I don't feel like the body is mine any more that I did previously. I'm simply putting inputs in and watching the limbs go around and type or something.

Imposition is something that's still a long way off. Mary is presence imposed very easily and I mentally see what she's doing, However, this is obviously not imposition or anything close to it. If we lose focus I'll walk through her without noticing and she won't notice either. It's going to take a while I'm certain. At first Mary didn't like imposition but I reminded her it would probably help her get stronger and that when we were switched she could impose me. Interestingly, whenever Mary is "imposed" her personality gets stronger and she acts a little more independently. Maybe it's a metaphorical separation of our thoughts? Unfortunately that's tiring for both of us and we can't really maintain that for long periods yet.

We're now working on switching. There are practically no coherent guides on it that I've found. Some talk about reverse imposition to get to wonderland, but that's hard right now. Other suggest possession leading into a switch but that's very difficult in our situation (she'd have to pretend to be me a lot every day). We've done a lot of research lately, and it turns out that switching is easy if you've done it before. That, and how we perceive our connection to the body matches the consensus on switching sensations, so we'll know immediately if we did it properly. Mary is really excited about being able to switch and be able to experience the world like I feel it. So far, Mary can take over the body and most of the brain but I'm still connected to it in a fundamental way that I can't shake. When she's doing that I'm still very much aware of everything, especially the senses. Mary says it feels like I'm under her at these points. Hopefully we'll figure out how to switch the brain to thinking it's attached to her soon.

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It sounds like your a natural for switching, it's especially easy once you get it, but also potentially confusing before that. 

 

Consider yourself a very advanced tulpa that's what you really are, the body is just in your posession and you're associated with it firmly. Literally anyone can be the host, you're just really good at it. She'll learn. Don't even worry about accidentally kicking her out, she'll get stronger and it's tricky. 

 

We got lucky because the first position I learned was 'watcher' and you don't react from that position, you just watch and listen. Also bodyOS sometimes takes over when you're doing something mundane, and it can feel like whoever trained it, which is also confusing.

 

Nice progress, good luck!

 

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Possession is so strange. We seem to move quite differently despite both drawing on muscle memory. We've gotten to where I have to explicitly stop something from happening and my displeasure isn't enough to make the body pause.

Lucid dreaming and shared dreaming haven't happened. But I had a strange while meditating of "dreaming" while conscious. I was simultaneously aware of the dream and maintained fully body awareness and senses. Perhaps one of us was asleep while the other wasn't. I haven't heard of something like this.

The other evening while we were trying to play checkers together, we had an unusual experience. I was trying to think about my next move while Mary was playing. Then I didn't really notice when my turn started. We started blending badly I think. We called each other by our own names a lot and didn't catch it every time. We remember hearing two streams of thought, one obviously belonging to each of us because they were in our voices. Then the hand I had been using started to move one of my pieces in a way that I think Mary was hoping. I know I wasn't controlling it, but Mary says she wasn't trying to cheat. We agreed it was very confusing and unpleasant. I guess this means we can think opposing thoughts at the same time now.

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