Alter Ego

[Guest]

Alter Ego

 

I was thinking about how Ashley is like my wingman (winggirl) and she thought it's like she's my alter ego. Then we thought about Clark Kent vs superman and all the stuff she was able to do when I was too fragile to do it. She was my superwoman.

 

Now we're both super, but it was interesting to wonder:

 

Does anyone else have a headmate who stands out and could fit the description of an alter ego?

 

Disclaimer: the terms alter and ego have plenty of baggage in this community, ignore that. I linked the definition in context above.

 

 

Edited February 1, 2021 by BearBeaBeau

[Jamie]

Yup yup yup. Gavin was meant to be "me but better in every way" according to what my 12-year-old self thought was ideal. And he took on a lot of the rough parts of the day that I did not deal with because of course he would, he's better at it. He's better at everything!!!!

 

Even back then we had some scuffles because I didn't always agree with Gavin's ideas about what the ideal me was, and also because Gavin chose to publicly act like an ideal version of me, rather than, well, himself. There's nothing like being signed up for activities you don't want to do and your headmate doesn't want to do either, but he figured that if you were a more extroverted person (which your ideal self would be) you would enjoy them so he signed you up! 

 

So maybe not quite. Gavin was the superhero alter ego mask but underneath the mask he was also his own dude. 

 

When he came back after years of dormancy it was pretty awkward for a while because I had not magically transformed into my 12-year-old idea of an ideal self. I had changed a lot as a person, and my life circumstances had changed, and Gavin had to very quickly find a new way of life. "You're better than me at everything!!!!"  is also a statement that causes all sorts of problems in reality. When it breaks down Gavin feels like a failure to me, and when it appears true, I've felt like I should just let him take over life because clearly he's just a superior person and what good am I? Why can't Clark Ken be Superman all the time? 

 

It is also true that Gavin was male before I was. You see that pattern a lot in recent years. I don't know if you know Shake and Marissa but they've upright said that there's basically no distinguishing factors between them two besides that Marissa is female and Shake is not, and Shake would transition if it wasn't for some life factors. I think a lot of those systems are probably going to, er let's say "resolve their plurality" when the gender stuff gets worked out, if the non-original headmate doesn't gain some greater role than "Ideal Me." I can think of a half-dozen names off the top of my head.

 

---

 

Nowadays Gavin is not Superman but he is definitely Big Brother, in the onii-chan way not the Orwellian way. I get to play Sherlock, he can be Watson. He says I have it backward...

 

There are no perfect people in my life and if there are absolute standards, no one earthly and real can meet them. 

 

[GrayTheCat]

Even though all of my headmates were more or less imagined to be my alter egos, that ended up not being the case. My headmates, while some look like me to an extent, don't really think or act like me. Ranger has self-advocated on being thought of as a separate person rather than as someone who was originally thought of being part of me in some way.

 

On the outside to an observer, I wouldn't be surprised if they saw Ranger and the others as alter egos. "They are a quirky computer nerd during the day and transform into a nerdy tulpa author at night!" Yeah, okay, no. They see one body, that's all that really matters to them, no matter how differently Ranger acts compared to me.

 

To someone else with little context, of course they would think that Ranger is my alter ego if they somehow got past the imaginary friend line of thinking. Ranger's life is hidden in some way from everyone but two people. Being a tulpamancer in of itself feels like living a double life, I constantly walk around feeling like I have a secret identity. I wish I or Ranger could be superman, that would be way more fun.