Tulpa Creation Pros And Cons

[Ranger]

(The original post)

 

On 11/30/2021 at 10:47 PM, lonely-in-wonderland said:

First of all, I am sorry to hear the OP is suffering from suicidal tendencies.  It must have taken an incredible amount of pain to reach that point.  I do hope things are improving and you haven't given up hope of getting to a better place in life.

 

Having just discovered this board and browsed through a number of articles, I'm shocked by the sheer number of desperately lonely, depressed people who are convinced that making up an imaginary friend they talk to telepathically is a genuine solution to their problems.  A person in that position should be spending their time getting out and meeting people, finding meaningful work, and resolving the difficulties that have led them to such a low and lonely place.  A good therapist doesn't hurt.

 

I believe the pandemic has isolated us all and worsened depression and anxiety for many, leaving us vulnerable to a form of escapism which preys on the unfulfilled need for companionship.  With depression, it is essential to not waste time in addressing any unmet needs (for example, the need for social support, or freedom from unhealthy dependencies).  Encouraging anyone in such a dire situation to spend many hours interacting with an imaginary being, and in some cases even setting them up for guilt and shame when they can't meet their goals, is irresponsible and harmful.  I am not saying this is the case for you, OP, only sharing my observations.

 

I understand there are those here who are simply interested in the idea of the tulpa, and some who believe it is truly beneficial.  I wish only relief for everyone struggling with depression, suicide, or loneliness, and those real-world problems will never be solved until unhealthy coping mechanisms are replaced with healthy, fulfilling ones.

 

You all sound like such incredibly creative and introspective people.  Hoping you all find love, peace, and happiness in your lives.

 

L.e.o

 

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Having just discovered this board and browsed through a number of articles, I'm shocked by the sheer number of desperately lonely, depressed people who are convinced that making up an imaginary friend they talk to telepathically is a genuine solution to their problems.  A person in that position should be spending their time getting out and meeting people, finding meaningful work, and resolving the difficulties that have led them to such a low and lonely place.  A good therapist doesn't hurt.

 

I agree that tulpas should not be created solely to escape depression, loneliness, etc. A tulpa lives in the same brain as you do, and they are also limited by whatever mental health conditions you have, even if they're not affected by them directly. (A tulpa who doesn't have to deal with upholding a job and getting food on the table may be more focused on roleplaying with their host or talking to others online, but a tulpa can still show symptoms of depression). A tulpa also lacks expertise in therapy (unless the host/syatem themself/ves is/are a therapist) and they don't have the ability to get up and walk away from you to completely distance themself from your mental health challenges.

 

I have heard a good amount of discussion discouraging using tulpamancy as a coping mechanism, but that could be my confirmation bias at play. I didn't think to check creation guides and I don't have sources on hand. I can do more research into this.

 

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Encouraging anyone in such a dire situation to spend many hours interacting with an imaginary being, and in some cases even setting them up for guilt and shame when they can't meet their goals, is irresponsible and harmful.  I am not saying this is the case for you, OP, only sharing my observations.

 

I know in the past you can be made fun of and or accused of roleplaying if you didn't spend a lot of time on tulpamancy. That rarely happens now, most of the cries people are roleplaying or are fakers come from older frustrated members who want to complain instead of teach people what tulpamancy they learned.

 

Otherwise, dissipating a tulpa is a touchy subject and is typically discouraged. A popular approach to tulpamancy is tulpas are people and to dissipate a tulpa is to basically kill a person. If you didn't want a tulpa, don't kill them for your sake because that's selfish and cruel. However, reports tulpas can be revived have surfaced, and I found discouraging dissipation can do more harm for the system if being plural in general is problematic, they have too many tulpas, or not having the freedom to 'pick and choose' what headmates stick around is too overwhelming for them.

 

Despite this, I still believe tulpas are their own people, regardless how developed they are, and they should be treated and respected as people. I have changed my approach from discouraging dissipation to encouraging it the moment I suspect tulpamancy isn't right for someone, but only because I see doing so is the better alternative to letting the host and tulpa(s) suffer from more anxiety and/or hit a point where the tulpa(s) want/s to dissipate themself/ves. I always try to talk people out of making tulpas when I suspect the host hasn't thought through the consequences of tulpa creation and how being a tulpamancer could be a bad thing hoping to prevent the creation of an unhappy tulpa. I now believe tulpamancers should create if they have truly decided for themselves they want a tulpa.

 

I think outright banning or pushing away people with mental health conditions from tulpamancy is both hypocritical and in poor taste. I don't think anyone should be told "you can't have a tulpa", that implies they're not worthy of making a tulpa and I find that ridiculous for several reasons, including the fact a lot of tulpamancers struggle with some kind of depression, anxiety, or something else. Instead, saying that tulpamancy may not be right for you because your mental health conditions can make things harder/worse or even better, encouraging them to seek professional guidance or at least medical treatment for their mental health conditions before starting tulpamancy is the far better way to approach this. Some people with mental health conditions have reported incredibly positive experiences with their tulpas and with professional guidance, the risks that come with tulpamancy are nowhere as severe.

 

Tulpas also can promote positive social behaviors if they choose to do so. It's not uncommon for tulpas to act as a voice of reason, encourage their host to socialize more, or take on socializing themself and teaching their host it's a good thing and how to do it. Generally, tulpas have to put up with whatever problems their host has and several have found being involved and encouraging better life choices to be their method of coping. Not all tulpas are going to respond to their host this way however, and I don't think any tulpa should be expected to fix their host, especially not to replace their host or take over life for them.

 

Ultimately, I believe tulpamancy is not supposed to be a coping method and if treated like one will do more harm in the long run. I also believe tulpas are people and it should be up to them to decide if they help you or not.

[lonely-in-wonderland]

Ranger,

 

Thank you for creating a new topic on this subject—I think it is an important one, and I appreciate the effort to further the discussion, even though our opinions might differ.

 

To be clear, I am not calling for those with mental health conditions to be banned from exploring their interest in tulpas.  Undoubtedly for some it is a perfectly healthy hobby, and may, as you say, even promote positive change by encouraging those who practice it to see things through a different perspective.  My concern is that, for the vast majority of severely isolated or depressed people, the danger of becoming dependent on a coping mechanism which in no way actually resolves the underlying issues, is far greater than the possible benefit.  While a tulpa may provide a sense of companionship and relieve loneliness, they cannot ever replace real, physical, human relationships, which every human being needs to thrive.  The more a person believes their tulpa will make life bearable, the less likely they are to seek meaningful relationships in the outside world.  And the harder it will be when their depression returns and they are no closer to getting themselves out of the hole.

 

I am new to these forums and have only seen a small part of them, but in my experience, this danger is not adequately addressed.  For example, in the thread from which the original post was taken, titled "Is it okay to make a tulpa even though I'm suicidal?", there was a great deal of concern for the welfare of the tulpa itself, but only one poster (out of 13) voiced any serious misgivings for the sake of the human being.  Most uncritically encouraged having a tulpa as a great way to feel less alone.

 

And maybe it is.  I haven't tried it myself, and am not intimately familiar with the community.  I am speaking only as someone who has spent years going down blind alleyways in search of a way out of depression, and have found that the only solution is to get out into the world and search for help.  Whether that help comes from a therapist, friends, spirituality, or a new purpose in life, doesn't matter.  All that matters is you get out there and keep looking, and don't allow yourself to get stuck in your own head.

 

Any thoughts are welcome.

 

L.e.o

[ruleofthumb]

Stone: Practicing tulpamancy has been a positive development in my life, but there are definitely pros and cons.

 

Pros:

- You get regular companionship.

- Your tulpa may be a cool person.

- Your tulpa will probably understand you more than most people.

- Experimenting with different aspects of tulpamancy (imposition, switching, etc.) can be fun and interesting.

- You can learn more about your own mind and become more introspective.

- You may try hobbies outside of your comfort zone for the sake of your tulpa, and you might enjoy them, or at least enjoy your tulpa's passion.

- You have someone you can brainstorm with.

- Your tulpa can comfort you in times of need.

- Your tulpa can help you cope with life's troubles.

- You will likely have more power over the body than your tulpa, and your tulpa will probably respect the interests you developed during singlethood.

- Your tulpa can hold you accountable and help you be more disciplined. My tulpae have helped me with getting up in the morning and being a moral person.

 

Cons:

- Tulpamancy can make intrusive thoughts more powerful or more difficult to avoid. Some people get intrusive "tulpae" or have tulpae who may speak/respond with intrusive thoughts.

- Forcing can be stressful or tiring.

- Stress and fatigue as a result of forcing or worrying about caring "sufficiently" for your tulpa can result in visible manifestations of stress. For example, I got a cold sore when I first started forcing. I took a break for a few months and it went away. When I started forcing again (months ago) I got a cold sore again, and I still have it. Otherwise, I have rarely gotten them and they have never lasted this long.

- Tulpae, while not usually hostile, can be to various extents (I know this from personal experience). Certain mental conditions may increase the chance of this happening.

- Time spent forcing your tulpa could be spent, arguably more productively, on other pursuits.

- Once you feel that your tulpa is another person, you may feel obligated to spend a certain amount of time with them or to work on "progressing" them even if you would like to use that time in other ways. You might not want to go back to being a singlet, even it would make sense to do so.

- You may create someone you love, and love can make you behave against your own interests.

- You will need to consider the feelings of someone who shares a brain with you. You may need to restrict yourself in certain ways or change your behavior.

- When you get into an argument with your tulpa, it may be more difficult to "just leave". You may take disagreements more personally.

Edited December 5, 2021 by ruleofthumb