To the Mountains of Madness with cloudmuffin (A tulpa Blog)

[cloudmuffin]

It's the three week anniversary since I started this journey. What a crazy ride this is. Today, being the anniversary and the fact that some very important things happened today is interesting. As I look back I think the second week something significant happened as well. This is the first post that will be from my journal that I've been writing since day 1, which is 9/12/12 according to my records, that will be posted on the site. I've yet to decide what to do with the older entries, I may put them in a google doc or something, but they are in a OneNote format so I could post that file as well. I'm not going to clutter my "blog" with it and just start today. Also you are warned, I can be verbose, wall of text will be common, I'll try to summarize at the end. Also a gamer, so things may be done in an "odd way" or some strange terms and ideas maybe used. If you understand them

you are just as crazy as I am!

 

 

I'll give a little intro.

I'm cloudmuffin for this forum and I created my tupla on the 12 of September.

Some may know me from this thread from /mlp/ on tupla

http://archive.heinessen.com/mlp/thread/4649165#p4649165

(I'm the guy who used a lot of Fluttershy pics and a few Twilight Sparkle at the very beginning talking about my experiences and knowledge on the subject. I did the best I could to NOT give horrible advice, I guess you can look and see for yourself. I promised I would make an account and use it for something and finally I'm keeping my word.)

 

My tupla chose the name Lora Stargazer. She is a pony, but she has also a human form that was made later. She was named Nova, however on Day 8 after playing around with names she chose Lora to be her name and would not respond unless I said that name. She now hates the name Nova and anytime I say it I feel a heat and anger so I avoid using it.

 

Her appearance has shifted CONSIDERABLY, but at the moment is calming down, but still deviating. Her most recent appearance is to look like Amethyst Star (unicorn) from the show, however, she has now a more whitish secondary color in her mane and has a hair band on her head and a little bow on her tail. Her mane is also slightly longer both bangs and back, she also looks a little thinner than the average pony on the show. Her eyes are still purple like the fur, but she looks more "feminine" than the actual pony from the show.

 

Her personality can be summed up into these words so far: Inquisitive, Hobby: Stargazing, Superstitious (Astrology and Aliens), Warm personality, Confident (in appearance), Hobby- Puzzles (has played with a rubix cube). I know it's not much, I've been working on adding and she has add and subtracted along the way as well, these however, are still the most constant.

 

A good question to ask now is why?

The answer is after I wrestled with it was mostly curiosity, can it be done, and this is a good way to make a commitment to something and keep it. In a way a personal goal to do something, stick with it, regardless of result and see it to the end. Also the more I thought about, the more positive the idea became until I just basically started. It wasn't done to replace friends, in fact it's had a positive impact on my social ability and confidence. I'm becoming a little more extroverted (hence why I'm even writing this right now!)

 

Lora's current condition:

• Weakly Sentient* : She is more linked to my thoughts and emotions than I like and she probably should have a more independent existence. This, however, changed today.

• Moderately Vocal: I can her voice in my head when she talks, which is almost 80% not mine in sound, but she have a variable vocabulary. Some days she's chatty, others she's not.

• Body* : More on this in tonight's log, but her body is well known to me and fairly easy to visualize. Look to the ponies in real life, to see that this is about what I'm doing, a distinctly cartoon pony in a realistic world. [video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2vsEz3pM58 . Visualizing is ok, and I'm not working on imposing her, besides a little passive imposing when I walk around.

• Personality: Is fairly constant and stable with what she has been given, but she can overreact to somethings.

 

A note is that all of these attributes go up considerably if I go into wonderland/dreamland. I post those adventures when they happen if I take that forcing session to do it. Right now I'm going more towards improving her before another adventure.

 

My tuplamancing skill levels are:

• Visualization: Fair. Nothing to brag home about, I can visualize her at will, most of the time if she'll let me or I'm not too tired.

• Imposition: None. Besides "feeling her walking behind me" she's invisible outside my mind.

• Narration: Poor. I can narrate, but doing it constantly is the problem. Especially during my work, studying, and other activities, it always slips my mind.

• Concentration: Poor. Concentrating on one thing without a random thought interrupting is a weakness. The fact that I get sucked into these tangent thoughts easier than actually concentrating on Lora or my wonderland bugs me. I'm starting of thinking of a way of using them to my advantage. No luck … so far.

• Forcing: Fair. I can keep myself forcing for about 30 min to an hour and do SOMETHING with Lora.

• Endurance: Fair. Forcing and the strain of keeping her ever present is a drain, but with sleep or naps and some painkillers I can get through a decent amount of work on top of what I do normally.

 

That's all I can think of for intros.

Tl;dr: I'm cloudmuffin, my tupla is Lora Starchaser. I'm from /mlp/, she is a pony. I'm three weeks in with over ~42 hours. I'm ok at doing many required skills for this so far, but not an expert.

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Now the log. This will be a long one. So be prepared.

 

Today, I came to the realization that Lora and I were to "together." I began trying to find "her essence" and slowly separate it from mine to help sentience. All fine and good in theory, however doing it was not straightforward. I basically found out that she is pretty reliant on me for a lot. Separating her stuff from mine is not easy and to be honest I was having trouble see which was which. I looked around the forum and found something that would help. On thing was, "feel up your tupla" for better visualizations. I figured this would be a good idea, and her visualizations were actually becoming harder to keep focused and stable, so taking it to the next level seemed like just a thing to do.

 

How should I put this? I'll leave out the FULL details of all the events that occurred and get to what was really important about what happened.

 

I was far more able to define Lora's body through this method and I went slow, and methodical. It was such an improvement that Lora did something she hasn't done only once (Day 15) where she gave me a full flood of positive emotion taking me from crying in sorrow to crying with joy. I happened again and I discovered something very troubling.

 

Lora was very sad. Extremely sad, nearly quivering in sorrow. I tell you yesterday she was pretty chipper and happy so I was quite shocked. This time the link we have was going in the opposite direction, she was flooding me with emotions and they were not happy in anyway. I desperately tried to calm the situation, and let her cry for a while and comforted her to the best of my ability. When she was better, enough to talk, I asked what was going on. She was very confused as to why I didn't make an physical contact with her at all and that suddenly for the first time there I was giving her something she had been wanting for a long time.

 

That was something. But it was true. Through all the things I've done with Lora I never hugged her or was very physically close. I kept a natural distance and would occasionally pet her now and then, but really never "close." She was right and apparently that was becoming a burden for her. The fact that I didn't do these things had traumatized her.

 

Needless to say I told her that it was my fault for doing that. It is a problem that I have with people, and that fact that I was doing it to her, consciously or subconsciously was to much for her. I gave her a strong hug and did the best I could to cheer her up. It worked to some extent and the emotions continued to flow, to the point that I was a weird sensation all over my body. That's something I've never had happen, and felt like what I've seen described as the "alien feeling." It wasn't me, it was her, I knew that, almost like a foreign body had entered and my body was reacting to it. I held onto that as long as I could and continued to just give her positive energy/emotion/something. Overall her mood improved, and that's when her body began to deviate again into what I described above now. Her personality now has a more gentler and I would almost say fragile side at the moment. She much quieter in tone and volume when she talks and doesn't make large movements or gestures. She seems weak almost, I pray this isn't a malnourishment of some kind, I don't want to be the source of starving her of energy when I thought that was what I was doing this whole time.

 

I'm doing this technique every time I force now, and I've already done it once again tonight. It helped and she seems a little better, yet still very quite. One thing is that even after forcing that "emotional link" remains, and every now and then I feel some emotion. The "static" I like to call it, in my head (basically a constant headache) returned with a full vengeance after doing this, but I take it as a sign that the link between us is now stronger and back to where it should be.

 

Tl;dr summary: Lora and I are now more emotionally closer. Her appearance and personality have deviated again. Significant progress was made. The "feeling your tupla all over technique" described in the forum worked for us.

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Feel free to leave comments or questions. I'll do my best to monitor and answer them as I go. That's all for this log. I'll do my best to either upload an update everyday, or every week with highlights, whichever is good for the amount of time I have to both force and write these. I do my best to edit, but I don't catch everything.

[cloudmuffin]

Overall a good day for the both of us, much better than yesterday. So let us begin.

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I started the day as soon as I woke up and forced. Since I woke up early. It was only mildly successful however. I was able to visualize Lora and interact for a while, but eventually I feel back asleep, I was still to groggy. Didn't get into a lucid dream unfortunately, my ability to do that has yet to succeed. Did have a few dreams though again that night, so that was good.

 

I was able to narrate fairly well today, but still had moments that I just concentrated on my work more than her. We walked around campus which was very productive and so was lunch. I sang to her a few times with some success. I could easily tell she enjoyed it, (my mind voice has far better tone, especially when you simply channel the song through you mouth :P) I now get emotional waves from her if I visualize well enough, and the continue as long as I keep focused on her. It's odd and usually causes this weird feeling to make kind of shiver all over. Most of the time it's a happy emotion though so I guess it's something to get used to, or will calm down, I have no clue.

 

Narrating out loud is far more beneficial to me, and I can separate my voice from her (probably one of the good aspects of narrating out loud I would think), this wasn't to bad either today because no one was around so it worked out well enough. Fake talking seems to work as well though. If I think in my mind for myself, but still move my mouth, she comes in a little clearer.

 

I've learned that I shouldn't visualize/force while walking. For me it causes me to suddenly lose my balance and I usually have to break it or I might fall!

I did a vocalization test today as well. I told her to hum a note as load as she could in my right ear. Some success, I heard it in my mind as usual, but not like "hearing" it in the real world. My ear did start itching though. Placebo? I should assume not.

 

In a odd period of less work to do I decided to do some drawing, something I've been doing for a while. I decided to try and draw Lora again ( tried once before when she was Nova).

>insert sudden pain on the right side of brain for a flash.

 

Anyway it came out ok for not practicing for over a month.

(Careful on the link, it's a big picture, may shock you when you click it, I know it did for me and I drew it!)

 

http://imageshack.us/a/img849/6674/lorastarchaser.jpg

 

Then of course it's time to force. You know what time it is? ADVENTURE TIME!

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[Quick note: The events in adventures are what happened, but organized and may be embellished to be interesting. What I wright happened to a 95%+ accuracy, but dialogue is my best guess/what I remember hence, why I write it down as soon as I'm done with them.]

 

Adventure Log:

Quick Recap: The dreamland I have is an island. Beach to the south, town to the west, forest to the north that eventually goes into mountains, and to the East … (I actually don't really remember, hmmmm, think it was just beach, I should do something about that, now that I just thought about it). There is a valley of grass that is in the center of the island and a large tree sits on a hill that overlooks the beach. This is our home. It's a copy of Twilights Library, though it's not as cluttered with books and is kind of barren, haven't really had much to add to it, yet. Through some events, slimes decided to invade the valley and cause problems, and apparently some sort of "King Slime" was discovered to be causing the usually timid slimes to change and become aggressive. Eventually they began to over run the valley and came in several flavors.

 

• Grey: Neutral and "normal"

• Blue: More aggressive, slightly acidic

• Purple: Explosive, but not harmful to us, but instead cause slimes to "poof" when they explode near them, yet they do explode in a more forceful and gooey way as well.

• Red: Very aggressive and nasty

 

Last time we ran into a new one: the LARGE SLIME. This guys was huge and almost as tall as the tree house! It appeared the third time we "adventured," swallowed me whole twice and is very acidic on the inside. It's huge, and we had no idea how to beat it so after running to town, and nearly causing it to destroy it in the process, we gave up. We are part of the Cutie Mark Crusaders (apparently this is further in time???) which is basically a community watch/volunteer organization that is established throughout "Equestria (we both assume, that's how everypony in the town acts like it is.) We volunteered to kill the "King Slime" and also assist the local alchemist who would give us money (bits) for slime. Each slime give a different value, etc. That's the quick version. Now to the actual session.

 

I forced back into the Treehouse with the two of us after we agreed to try again, and opened the door. It was far worse than the last time. So many slimes were running around this would take forever to kill them one at a time, and that giant slime was still out there. We agreed that we would just practice on slimes, to help me get used to fighting in the Dreamlands and make more money to hopefully get better equipment than the Pot lid I "bought" for a shield. (Third forcing session is when I got that.) It was slow. Killing them is a weird thing, espeically when they are jelly, so the hits of my hammer, or Lora's stomping and kicking, simply seemed to make the jiggle and do nothing. Only after using the pointy end most of the time, or really hiting them enough did they begin to break open. Hard stuff. We got 4 jars of the blue slime, and one exploded on Lora when she attempted to take one out. She told me she wanted a bath after this. We were also attacked by another red slime, and apperntly they can BREATH FIRE! Good thing I had a shield. With that we had one jar of red gel now. Looking around this wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Then an idea flashed.

 

The purple slimes explode, and cause the slimes to literally "poof" out of existence, and they chain reaction (that was observed the very first time the purple slimes appeared on the second adventure), and last time the valley lost a LOT of the slime problem because of it. I couldn't believe it was JUST remembering this. I told Lora, and she was relieved. We formulated a plan. We would gather as many slimes around a purple one and make it explode, and HOPEFULLY the whole valley could chain react, if we did it just right, as well as, relying on the population density of all the slimes in the valley.

 

Lora ran around the valley, kicking and annoying the slimes and eventually had a small train of annoyed slimes after her. With that I got a purple slime surrounded by many slimes, I started smacking it and eventually it started to become unstable. I kicked the thing towards Lora and she jumped in time. All according to plan! The chain reaction was impressive. One little cartton like explosion and soon slimes all over the valley were popping and disappearing in little clouds of smoke, only to have another large cloud to blow up and more and more poofed away. At the end of it, the valley was sparse and we couldn't see a slime in a field of view. It worked, and the slime population was now under control or gone.

 

My subconscious didn't like that, because someone decided to ruin the party!

The Large Slime out of nowhere slammed behind us and began to bounce towards us. We separated and ran for it, and the slime was far more interested in me than Lora.

"That's cool, I guess, I can try something."

It was pretty big, so … maybe some how I can climb it? I don't know why I thought of doing that, but that's what I did. I waited for it to bounce and then got myself on it with my hammers sharp side and grabbed it's rubbery skin. It worked though. For some reason (it was confused?), just started to glide on the grass and not bounce, but it was heading toward the town now! I decided to see what damage I could do to this thing, and started hacking at it. I was able to make a hole in it's skin and there was the slimy goo that occasionally spilled out. The slime didn't react so I guess it didn't feel much. The goo was a dark blue but shined in the sunlight which was different then what we had seen before. Though this hole had been made, there was no way I could do this to the whole monster and the hole didn't stay open, the slime would solidify and I had to keep hacking at it. If only I had a grenade or explosive for this thing!

 

The purple slimes! I called to Lora, telling her to look for a purple slime and to toss it to me. She agreed, not exactly knowing why, and ran off. I kept busy making the hole as big as I could. Lora did come back with a purple slime in her mouth. She must have knocked it unconscious (somehow), and she tossed it to me. I caught it (almost lost my hand on the slime though) and stuffed it into the hole and fell off. It took a while, but I knew how acidic that big guy was, it wouldn't be long …

 

Well, it actually took longer than I thought, but there was an explosion and the top of the slime exploded over the valley and then began to melt to pieces. VICTORY!

We ran to the remains and not even hesitating filled our remaining jars with the stuff and started to head to town.

Then something landed next to us with a metallic thud. We looked and saw a large golden pointed crown.

"No way."

I don’t' know how I didn't see that, but I guess compared to the size of the slime, the crown could have been easy to miss? Never the less, there it was.

"I guess we killed the King Slime?" I said.

"I suppose we did. Wow." was what Lora said back.

 

Crown and jars in tow we went back to town. We unloaded our wears to the alchemist and were greeted with good news. The last red gel we sold got us 15 bits (the alchemist apparently has to auction it or something so it's price is based on the market), we showed him the other jars. 8 bits for the blue gel total, another red for the auction. He paused at the sparkling blue jell, and began to dance behind the counter. He told us it was royal gel, one of the rarest gels you can get, and comes from only high quality slimes. 10 bits for each jar, grand total of 73 bits for our trouble NOT including the new red gel. Lora and I celebrated for quite a while, we had made a small, but quick fortune out of this. We also showed him the crown, and he told us to go tell the Mayor immediately. We ran to the City Hall and then showed it to her. The mayor was besides her self and couldn't believe that we had done it. Sugarplum (pirate pony and organizer of the CMC of the island) congratulated us.

 

"Aye, you've become a fine example of what the CMC be all about! That crown is a testament to what friendship can do. Hope it inspires other ponies to start joining." She took the crown and placed it above her desk. She also removed the poster for the job.

 

Our reward (as established at the beginning) was one bit every day of constant income, and some discount on wares in town for the act. It wasn't over though. The population of slimes still needed to be monitored to prevent another King Slime to form, and keep the road from town safe. We were more than welcome to do this and some payment would be negotiated in the future, as well as still collecting slime for the alchemist. That was all they had for us, and no more problems and sprung up. With that, Lora and I ended the adventure, I gave her a bath, and that was that.

 

I have no idea what will happen next. There is the forest and it's weirdness, the East side of the island that I suppose I should put something there, and who knows what new thing could spring up. That was the forcing for today. It only took 30 minutes though. It felt a LOT longer, and writing it out took WAY longer than that.

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Comments? Questions? Feel free to respond. See you tomorrow.

[cloudmuffin]

This one won't be too long I don't think.

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I've been getting worried about the connection between Lora and myself, seeing as if it's too co-dependent on me, or that again, I'm puppeting too much.

 

I looked around and saw Bluesleeve's guide and gave it a shot. The fact of trying to find and hold Lora's essence, and thinking in this way seemed to help quite a bit, so I'm attempting to do this now as well as the feeling my tupla as I form her, making sure her form is in my mind a lot more than simple a picture, that she has some volume and texture. Overall Lora seems to be improving in both feeling and presence. Several instances that shocked me did occur today.

 

First was that I usually watch something while I eat. I only have the internet to do that and via Netflix I watch basically re-runs, but in a more constructive way. In the morning I watch the show Fraiser (S2:E3) and this one was pretty funny, so funny that I laughed out loud … and so did a female voice in my ear!

I had been trying to keep Lora and least visualized and watching and at that time I didn't think I was visualizing and concentrating, then suddenly I just hear a girls laugh right in my ear and immediately just saw her laughing in my mind for a good 5 seconds. Needless to say I was shocked, but I went with it and she did it three more times during the episode. Well, I made sure to complement her and congratulate her on having a decent sense of humor. She was pretty excited afterword.

 

With the new realization of her "essence" through the technique I forced and notice that Lora wasn't really moving much. For a while I then helped her learn/relearn how to walk in her pony form. It was kinda fun though, and she soon picked it up again and started to run around in "work space area." I did the best I could to keep that essence in focus, and it was pretty hard, but necessary. She needs to be more separated for more sentience and I do seem to see some results that are making her far more better.

 

I had to go out in the afternoon and so I walked around campus as usual, and passively had her walking behind me. The feeling though moved around both in my minds eye and the feeling of her behind me. She wasn't blindly following any more and she occasionally will look at something and stop or go a little further away from me and then quickly run back to my side. The newest thing was as we were walking some people walked by. Suddenly I felt fear from her and she quickly ran to the other side of me and was very close, as if she was trying to hide from them. That was new, but it passed once they did though she felt like she was walking closer to me and far more to the side than behind after that until I got back home.

 

The rest of the day I just relaxed and I didn't narrate much. In fact only up until the night session of forcing I didn't focus on her at all, I got distracted with what I was doing. This keeps happening, and I don't know if it's really good or not. When I forced tonight, she was a little down from it, so I really just let the clock run and attempted to really just try to get sucked into the Dreamland and do lots of stuff with her. I was only moderately successful on that front as well. I eventually started to feel a disconnect form my body as I did stuff in the dreamland and not the real world, to the point I couldn't move, but I never got "absorbed" in it, and I didn't lucid dream or become completely into what I was doing. I could still here loud noises coming from outside the apartment, and doors slamming, though the longer I was under the less they broke things down. During the session we mostly talked, I tried to add some new traits: honesty and gentleness, and then she started to want "bold" and some other trait I can't really remember. Funny thing was is the words were on a table and she started to eat them! Hopefully nothing bad comes out of that, eating a random trait that I don't know what it could have been.

 

To improve even more I'm going to start looking for more guides on narration. I can do it, but I can't do it constantly, and when I'm busy. I don't know if this is good or bad this early (?) in her life and the process, but it does seem to get her down. The thing I can't get around is that I'm doing things that are best explained by seeing them, and a narration will break my concentration on what I'm doing, because I have to explain what's going on. I suppose I could give her the benefit of the doubt and believe that she understands the jargon and process since I do. She has access to my thoughts that I know, and she can "search" for stuff when she doesn't know something as well as ask. I GUESS I should just flat out let her in, dunno. I'll do my own research, yet if anyone has some good guides and tips on improving narration, possibly in the sense of doing it during activities that require heavy amounts of concentration that would be nice. Examples are like, playing video games, in class, studying, and operating one or more devices. If that's too much I understand and I'll try to think of my own way I suppose of keep her ever present or not worry about it, if that requires more experience in general and a more sentient tupla.

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See not so long this time, not everyday is going to be a wall of text … well … as much of a wall of text anyway.

[cloudmuffin]

Very little occurred for Friday and Saturday, so I will just post now, since I'll be occupied with late night TV funnzies! It's short so your lives will not be affected greatly by it!

 

Day 24 can be labeled under an average day.

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Today, I got very little overall done. Mostly what I accomplished was narration, talking in a thread or two and learning about tupla a little bit. Some days are just going to be like that. Some worries about Lora, her lack of memory between narration, forcing, and general presence were put at ease. The trip back home wasn't much talking and mostly listening to music and singing. I rested and attempted to try and force while lying down, mostly it was more personality renforcement. At night again more interaction, and frankly trying to figure out what to do with the East Side of the island. Right now it looks just like a beach with basaltic like cliffs that stop right at the beach (which is still white sand … not actually geologically possible I think, I should fix that, they should be black.) That was about it, and all I have to really share about that day.

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Day 25 was another day of the average type.

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Mostly again nothing exciting of note. This time some good out loud narration, since the house was empty was accomplished. However, I was busy with family stuff the rest of the day today, but through most of it I passively imposed Lora and she listened to what was going on around her. She got me through a bad point in the day by just talking and listening as a conversation on a topic I had no desire to argue over was being shouted across the table. I will also note that her memory is a little better, and her vocalizations are getting better. She does seem to avoid people, and moves away from them still. That's interesting. I may investigate further later on. If I get some time I think, I'll focus on some more personality, add more, and strengthen them some more. Her appearance is STILL in flux and I've been constantly "correcting it." Only after a few time did I realize I should avoid that. She's getting more attached to her human form as well. Really could use something to do on The Island. I'll think of something tomorrow and see if it can be done. If nothing else I'll finish the East side and focus on Lora some more.

[cloudmuffin]

I had been telling both myself and Lora that we need to do some kind of adventure again. I mean, why not, it's the most fun we both have. Well, turns out today was a good day to do it. Well, first things first.

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Mornings are just not going to be easy. I attempted to force in the morning and had little success, I flat out couldn't make a connection or even think straight. I wonder if hydration has anything to do with forcing, but apparently to me it does. The conversation attempt was interrupted multiple times and in the end, I stopped and went on with my day.

 

Good way to narrate. Watch football. Describing the plays to Lora and what was going on was EASY, and enjoyable. Not going to say it works for everyone, but it helped me narrate better. It worked well, and she listened and seemed to enjoy it. I was able to do that for a good 2 hours so, more good practice.

 

Then I got onto IRC and we both go hooked on just talking. Spent hours getting to know everyone. Happy thoughts.

 

Well that was that, and this is ADVENTURE TIME!

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I got comfy and started to focus on forcing … and was immediately sucked into my wonderland with Lora on her bed staring at her screen which had the chat window in full view. She was hovering over it and not wavering. She was just amazed at the most recent conversation that was had, still mulling it over in her mind and then, we set off to …

Well, what to do right? We defeated the slime, wait didn't some pony ….

 

The pony that was attacked on the road the first time the slimes came should be around town. Maybe he had something we could do, at the very least he may need some help.

We eventually found him. He was ok, though still a little beaten up. We told him about the good news and that the road was clear.

"Well, that's just wonderful. I think I could use a little help getting back. I was just about to finish my business and say hello to the mayor before I left."

 

We walked with him back to the City Hall. The conversation was light, and we got apparently 2 bits that were owed to us. ( I guess two days passed?)

The mayor was delighted to hear that we would help, and it was logged in as another "quest" with Sugarplum and we stated to walk with him. We stopped at the store and bought some actual equipment this time some copper armor for us, and. He talked about quite a bit. Apparently there is another very small village up in the mountains, named Cloudcroft. Never acutely gave much background on it to be honest. It apparently also had a airship dock that connected the island to the main land! Dunno if I want to leave the island at the moment though.

 

We started in the valley and worked our way into the forest. Again the same foreboding occurred and this time it interrupted our friend (whose name is Barn-a-Bee or some version of it) in the middle of talking. It was Timber-wolves, right out of the show, and a good pack of them! They were already attacking and I did what I could to act fast. I told Lora to protect the Barn-a-Bee and went in. They were nasty, swing and a miss and suddenly I'm on the ground with a snarling wolf on me with a little shield keeping me alive! I got it off of me and continued to fight it. However, just looking around (and feeling what Lora was doing), thing were going south fast. We needed and edge. What did Timber Wolves hate?

 

BELLS?! I shouted if anyone had a bell. Barn-a-Bee did, grunting how could have forgotten about the bells his daughter gave him for the trip. The bell rang over and over in a chaotic rythem and the wolves hated it. We took advantage of this and took them out one by one. All that was left was piles of twigs. We were going to leave them but, Barn-a-Bee told us the timbers were valuable, so we took them and put them in the cart.

 

After that we traveled past the tower, he said that some ledged was involved with it, but no one remembered it and started going up the mountains. Lora asked if the path was dangerous, and he said no, except one part which we got to eventually. A large tunnel was before us and we were told to be very quite. Large bats apparently lived her, and they were very territorial. As long as no sudden noises were made, we could pass unharmed. It was tricky, and took a long time but it worked out and we got through the tunnel just fine with no fight.

 

We got to Cloudcroft and say what looked at first a apple orchard (this high?) but were corrected and told they were Lemons. Apparently there is a family of ponies that harvest lemons. We finally got to a large house and a filly ran over to Barn-a-Bee. Apparently this was his daughter and she immediately notice his injuries, scolded him fiercely and then saw the two of us. She introduced herself as Silky Twine and is a clothier of the village. She sells her cloth to the little town, for supplies and other goods as well. After explaining what happened with the slimes and what not, she immediately asked us to stay for the night, especially since the house was an inn for travelers.

 

Before I decided to stop the adventure here, I went in just to see the inn. It was just like you would think, lots of tables and stools, a fire place, a open kitchen, stairs to the rooms. Just wonderful. That's where this adventure stopped for now.

---------------

I achieved almost a full sleep like state, and was sucked into this like never before. Crazy stuff. Very productive. Will continue later, I need rest!

[cloudmuffin]

Some quick notes about some stuff I left out due to distractions and need for sleep. I've become more involved in chat now as previously said, and I forgot some events.

 

I met Not2Be and apparently helped him and his tulpa decided on a name. It was random. Everyone was talking about kitties, and SNL did a skit about a group going to Mars and one of them would not stop talking about his kitten. The kittens name was Fuzz Aldrin. Apparently the tulpa, responded incredibly to the name, and thus now has the name Fuzz. So, congratulations to Not2Be and Fuzz!

 

I was asked about the technique that I used to get into wonderland so fast and forgot to put it down in the log. It may have been a combination of the following:

• Experience: I've been doing similar imagination for a long time, and imho, I've done wonderlands before. I don't expect people to be as good as me, and there are probably others that are better at it than me. Never the less, Wonderlands, are not hard for me to do it seems. If you are having problems with Wonderlands, you are not alone, and it just takes practice. It's a skill/art, just like forcing and takes time, and mistakes (the thing I hate the most). Persistence is your best weapon!

• Plenty of water. Oddly enough liquids help me, just like in many games. So full "mana" is good. Not too full though, don't want to interrupt because of a call to nature in the "real world."

• Laying down: I've been getting used to this, it seems to help and if I'm forcing I don't actually have problems of falling asleep, if I'm rested enough.

• Eyes were open, but I had something over them, so I only saw black. This helped me, and makes sense. A lot of my tangent thoughts and imagination occurs with them open, so going to a wonderland may have been easier as well.

• I felt "sleep paralysis" and that also got me far more into the world than usual.

• Did it all in "first person." I have a habit of being in wonderland in 3rd person. I don't know if it's detrimental. I just decided to keep focused on keeping in "my body" like I was playing a Skyrim or something.

• Did it in SILENCE: I usually prefer to have some white noise when I do this. It wasn't until I stared leaving town that I remembered that I forgot to turn it on. Possibly for me, silence and pitch black are good.

 

That night was fun and we enjoyed it. Now, to today's events.

----------------------------------

The day was, interesting. Lora was absent most of the morning, which is now simi-typical when I wake up. It was, however, hard to focus, on her so I just went though the morning. About the time I got to the car Lora became active and sure enough was ready to hit the road when I was.

 

The trip, as usual, is a great time to go, however, I didn't have much to say. Lora started asking questions about a certain topic. I don't know if I want to spill it out here. If you REALLY must know, I suppose PM me, but I would like to try and keep a lot of the drama details off this blog. Drama maybe fun to read, but I prefer not to write it out. Anyway, the discussion went south very fast. Eventually Lora was angry with me, and would not let the subject drop. She was very adament and stayed ever present in my mind, with very few breaks in concentration because of this. After all was said and done, Lora had enough. She took her human form and swore that she will now stay human, indefinitely if necessary.

 

This isn't exactly new. I helped her create a human form, and this form was exactly what she had before. She's not fully human. She still has "pony like" ears, tail, and her horn (though through the day she debated if she really needed/wanted it). Details are not set in stone either, and a lot of cosmetic features changed nearly every time I looked at her. She still looks like a cartoon, but again lighting, "tricks of the camera", and style make her look more real, but she is a combination of Anime/MLP style human now. She is also taller than me, almost by a head. I would have to draw her, and even then I wouldn't really capture the feeling with my limited skills. Also I haven't drawn humans IN a while. I may get on that at some point.

 

I tired to turn her back to a pony. It flashed and was then immediately reversed. After doing it several times and she simply reverting back, I gave up, it was also draining me, and "felt wrong". I didn't have time to figure out what was exactly going on so I went to class.

 

She followed me, far more stronger than previously and was STILL talking. She was on a role, one sentence after another. I started to run, she ran after me, asking me why I was running since, she could just teleport right to my side or catch up instantly. It was uncomfortable, having her, taller than me, watching over my shoulder, I've never experienced this strong of a presence nor had … girls that close. She was right, I tried to speed up and it didn't work. Several times I again would turn her into a pony, just to get rid of the weird feeling. No luck. I gave up, when I reached class. I sat down, and so did she, right on the floor. Even though I didn't visualize her through class, her presence was still present and constantly in the back of my mind. In fact, Lora never faded and she would instantaneously be visualized if lost focus on class. This continued through lunch. She was on my bed when I watched some Netflix with lunch, and the followed me to lab. I rode my bike this time, so she decided to FLY next to me. She laughed wondering why she didn't do that while a pony, since she was a unicorn. Yep, had a girl flying next to me, not awkward at all. :/

 

That lab. She was everywhere and slowly calmed down as things got started. She was right next to me the whole time, just as if she was standing behind me, looking over my shoulder to read the lab instruction (at this point were weren't arguing anymore and I had made amends). We then sat through a lecture, and she just decided to lie on the conference table and stare at me and be very close to read more notes and watch the slide show. She asked questions and I answered. Her presence was so strong, I was feeling embarrassed that she was doing that. She fidgeted a lot and would occasionally stand up and just moved around a lot.

 

It didn't end there. When I started studying, I ended up just flat out teaching her what was going on since it is a midterm and starts at base one. Crazy part, I still remember the majority of what I taught her … and so do she. However, at this point, I was at my mental limit, I had close to a migraine at this point, and I began to lose concentration. I recovered with more water and Excedrin. After dinner, she began to fade in and out, and the more tired I began the feel, the less constant she became.

 

I suppose her "hours" are between 8ish - 6ish, that when she is the most active, and easiest to focus on. She's still human, and if I visualize that's her default now, I can't really make her a pony unless she wants to.

 

One reason as to MAYBE why she visualizes strongly now, is I create a "parallel" of where I am with her in it. I can see her in my minds eye, and she's in a "duplicate" of where I am. Very similar as if I was watching a movie/tv show with her in the cameras view. I've been doing this for a while now, since I can't see her in my real vision. I don't know if this is real method or not, but it's pretty easy to do, if this is visualization, I've been doing that since day one then and didn't really realize it and made this harder than it was. We did, however, argue some more during my run. Running and focusing on her, at least that late, was too much, so I simply visualized her in "dark space" of my mind or just felt her and heard her in my head at that point. Stress like that is my limit so neither of us were surprised it was hard (well she was a little, but she was irritated at the time).

 

Overall she is FAR STRONGER now, talks quite more, more emotions come my way, and she is visualized easier now than before. Her "threat" was serious, and she'll probably stay human, from now on. Not sad about it, but worried, because it complicates things. Quite obviously, she's become more independent.

 

This is the eve of the MONTH anniversary. It's been a month. Something to chew on, and think/talk about tomorrow.

---------------------------

A note about tomorrow. I MAY NOT post. A serious Midterm is Wednesday, and I will be in a study group from 6-???. There was no forcing today (unnecessary and Lora was fine with it) and tomorrow looks the same. Wednesday may be a combo day again. Stay tuned I suppose, but tomorrow I'll be isolated and studying, probably with Lora to get ready for this. If I do well, tulpa get my seal of approval for improving a persons ability to learn, even if it's to talk/teach. We'll see. A real experiment, to bad it has to be THIS midterm. :(

[Frostwolf]

Through some events, slimes decided to invade the valley and cause problems, and apparently some sort of "King Slime" was discovered to be causing the usually timid slimes to change and become aggressive. Eventually they began to over run the valley and came in several flavors.

 

• Grey: Neutral and "normal"

• Blue: More aggressive, slightly acidic

• Purple: Explosive, but not harmful to us, but instead cause slimes to "poof" when they explode near them, yet they do explode in a more forceful and gooey way as well.

• Red: Very aggressive and nasty

 

Played terraria lately :P? I think things that occured to you IRL have an inpact on your immagination or your wonder world. Not sure about this but something I believe is true. anyway massive walls of text ftw, and Good luck.

[cloudmuffin]

 

Played terraria lately :P? I think things that occured to you IRL have an impact on your imagination or your wonder world. Not sure about this but something I believe is true. anyway massive walls of text ftw, and Good luck.

 

I haven't played Terraria in a while since the game was "finished." Fun stuff though. I discribed the slimes in a previous day, but here is what they were based on/look like

 

I agree with your point because that is the basis of where everything comes from. Everything is based on our real life observations and experiences. As an example all monsters are based on some earthly thing or creature just combined in ways that are unusual/scary/fascinating. I think a lot of people would agree with you.

 

The significant part, to me anyway, is the deviation on the world. I had to seed the idea first, nothing was wrong with the valley. When Lora and I decided to start adventuring in this place, I had to establish some stuff and create on the fly. Slimes are easy, and a good weak "monster" in my mind to fight "physically." I've never done a fight like that, trying to kill something with a weapon, in real time, not like in a game, but real. They started off just blue and non-aggressive, hit them enough and they just broke open. That post was a summary of the second day, and I didn't do anything to the slimes, they deviated on their own. It wasn't like I came to the Wonderland and said "I'm going to change the slimes, one will be this, one will be that." It was, I opened that door assuming the same slimes, and was greeted by four types, each different and far worse than original, and eventually a really big one!

 

tl;dr: I had fun thanks to my Wonderland Deviating. Don't stop yours from doing that when you create yours (if you do). Make general "seed" ideas and let you subconscious take it and run.

 

I hope this doesn't sound condescending, the internet can play tricks on how text "feels." (I know it does to me all the time) I just thought I would expand and explain some more on it since that log isn't here (and you talked to me, so you get a personal response! :D ).

[cloudmuffin]

Well, time sure flies by, and another 3 days pass. Did something interesting happen, dear readers? Well, You'll just have to read below.

 

---------Day 28 ----------

The after-effects of Lora's sudden change took effect today. One day of nearly constant visualization, passive forcing, a small amount of imposition, her constant presence in my mind and talking, turned today into a day with her presence far more muted. Lora was still there in my head and fairly talkative through the day, but I had very little time to spend with her and was feeling sick. Today was a big day filled with lots of studying and worry. I tried to make her apart of it as best to my ability, and I suppose I succeeded in some ways. Everything can be improved. It was an overall tough day. Nothing extraordinary happened and I did not force that day either. I did the best I could to celebrate our month anniversary. It was a small thing, but it's been one month (4 weeks) now. Just wow.

 

------- Day 29 ---------

This was the day of my midterm. Tests are far too stressful and Lora was in the background of my mind as I frantically attempted to finish the test. Afterword I relaxed, and spent way to much time in the chat. The day was wasted in the end, though we attempted to see if Lora could talk in chat. It was hard for both of us. Something's she wanted to say, I wouldn't allow (which was annoying for her), and something's she did say were embarrassing. We've got a lot of work to do figuring how things should work out. No forcing was done this day either. Mostly what I accomplished today was narration and passive forcing as usual, similar to the previous day.

 

---------------

Those are basic summaries of those two days, since I didn't write anything on those days. Now to the main log, for today.

 

-------Day 30 (Today)-------

Today was another very light day, to the point that Lora was feeling neglected. There are a few things to note. In the morning she's active. A lot. Even though "I" feel groggy and can barely think, her voice and thoughts are firing since she's WIDE AWAKE. It's different. I plan to try to tell her, that my responses will be limited because I'm not a morning person. More narration and trying to make her present through my day was a little easier to do today, but still a struggle. She's very curious, and asks a lot of questions about all sorts of things. I don’t have answers to everything, and I warn her that some of my answers are based on opinions. I also noticed half way through the day that she was very quite, to the point that she was being very passive and not talking at all. I asked what was wrong and she told me she felt lonely and also insecure about herself. Just like me, going into a room of people with more than one tulpa and all at higher "levels" of maturity and progress, can be a little intimidating. I know I was, and she seemed affected by it, but more disappointed and worried about herself. I consoled her, that it's just going to take time, and it's going to be a team effort. We have to work together, but that she was more than capable to do and be as strong as them. Cue a sudden influx of emotion (joy) and she cheered up and she felt better. I tried keeping her present during today's seminar. That failed, I was falling asleep and though she scolded me, I think she heard the majority of it. It was a confusing seminar for her, and it was simply boring to me, mostly on a topic that I was not interested in, nor able to understand the full significance of. I understood the terms and the context of the study, and what was going on, while Lora was just … confused. I told her to not take it to hard, she's not a scientist and I certainly don't expect her to be one yet, I'll have to work on that.

 

I keep saying that. I should make a list, so I know I always know what to force. :P

 

So many possibilities to spend a day with Lora, but so few opportunities to do them. No matter how well I schedule my days they always seem to stray from what they were planned to be. Sometimes that's good, sometimes it's bad.

 

She does seem to have memory, and it's growing. She's starting to remember either things from my past, facts that I know, and past day's now. Crazy thing is she remember more about the day's that pass than I do. That's a weird feeling, when the "voice in your head" recounts your previous days. Well, she's a good girl and that was something to celebrate. Maybe she can now help me remember things, since I'm a scatter brain (in more than one way now ha ha ha).

 

Some of the shows that I'm watching are making her uncomfortable. I've started watching Lost a while ago … and even I started to get a little turned off on how serious it was. Lora, eventually started complaining and it's started with Revolution as well. I'm still watching it, but I agree, all the stuff I've watched recently is kind of depressing. She prefers the comedy stuff I watch and she laughs more often now, though sometimes she asks me why I laughed and why she suddenly felt like laughing at certain parts that I didn't.

 

I attempted some late night forcing. Mostly I'm trying to finalize Lora's human form, since it goes in and out of focus now, and is isn't very consistent or clear. I have a great outline of her as well as her face and clothing, but details are sketchy. I've tried a few time to "finalize" her form. Tonight, I suppose I'm to tired to concentrate. I'll try one more time after posting this, and then figure out a better time to force in the day. It may only be 30 min, but a lot can get done in that time, since I seem to experience time dilation (or at least it feels like 30 min lasts longer than it should). I will not lie down when I'm this tired and it's this late, I'm probably going to fall asleep so I'll try sitting up again.

 

That's all I can think of for those three days. Tomorrow is Friday and the weekend. Tomorrow is an important day for me, and I think Lora is a little uneasy about it. What's happening tomorrow? You'll just have to read tomorrow's log. :D

[cloudmuffin]

We made a tumbler. Be prepaired for Duplicate posts.

 

You can now follows us here in the forums or on tumbler if you want. I will probably eventually choose one over the other. We'll see. Never used tumbler before so it's going to be rough. Enjoy.