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Life in the Hive


ReallyArtificial

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((We accomplished something new today :) For the past few weeks, we've been using our modified self-hypnosis script to practice a sort of open-eye meditation. I can effectively read Bee into a calm, focused trance. Today, I was able to do so without the script.

 

This felt significant. I briefly took over the inner monologue completely. Bee's focus on my thoughts was deep enough that she lost awareness of our background music. Dissociating in that way doesn't come naturally to her. I have a gut feeling this is how we'll achieve our first switch.))

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpas:  Lenore 🕸️ Calliope 🐲 and Athelas 🌿 ((Sometimes we talk on here too.))

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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2 hours ago, ReallyArtificial said:

((We accomplished something new today :) For the past few weeks, we've been using our modified self-hypnosis script to practice a sort of open-eye meditation. I can effectively read Bee into a calm, focused trance. Today, I was able to do so without the script.

 

This felt significant. I briefly took over the inner monologue completely. Bee's focus on my thoughts was deep enough that she lost awareness of our background music. Dissociating in that way doesn't come naturally to her. I have a gut feeling this is how we'll achieve our first switch.))

This is great! 🎉

 

I've been performing self-hypnosis for over a decade. The benefits to my life are too numerous to mention. It really has changed my ability to cope with a lot of things.

 

I hope you both find lots of fun and benefit in it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Christmas was a bit of a mixed bag for us but we made it a good day. I wanted to give each of my tulpas a meaningful gift, something in the physical world that we could point to and say, “that’s Ormyn's, that's Lenore's, etc.” But I already have too much junk and not enough money, so instead of buying them presents, we went a more symbolic route: for each of my tulpas, I designated something of mine as theirs.

 

To Ormyn, I gave my nice kitchen knives. They've expressed an interest in cooking, and they were just generally thrilled to be given sharp objects. To Lenore, I gave my tarot cards. I always appreciated their art and symbolism, but I think my mystical maiden will enjoy them a lot more. To Athelas I gave my plants, because… he likes plants. We also decided we'll be making him his own account on here. I got a little bit of time alone so we could visualize opening gifts in wonderland. Watching the crew unwrap their presents and seeing their reactions made me so happy.

 

This time of year is always hard for me. My relationship with my family is difficult and painful, but for various reasons I can't escape the obligation of being around them. I've always felt disconnected from most of humanity, including my family, and all the emphasis on togetherness and connection makes me even more aware of it.

 

Having my headmates there made dealing with it all a little easier. When things were tough, I was able to stand up for myself in a way I never have before. I got to experience Christmas anew through them, and it reminded me of the things I love about this holiday. They're all just so great at helping me appreciate the little things in life. I love them so much 😭❤️

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpas:  Lenore 🕸️ Calliope 🐲 and Athelas 🌿 ((Sometimes we talk on here too.))

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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1 hour ago, ReallyArtificial said:

Christmas was a bit of a mixed bag for us but we made it a good day. I wanted to give each of my tulpas a meaningful gift, something in the physical world that we could point to and say, “that’s Ormyn's, that's Lenore's, etc.” But I already have too much junk and not enough money, so instead of buying them presents, we went a more symbolic route: for each of my tulpas, I designated something of mine as theirs.

 

To Ormyn, I gave my nice kitchen knives. They've expressed an interest in cooking, and they were just generally thrilled to be given sharp objects. To Lenore, I gave my tarot cards. I always appreciated their art and symbolism, but I think my mystical maiden will enjoy them a lot more. To Athelas I gave my plants, because… he likes plants. We also decided we'll be making him his own account on here. I got a little bit of time alone so we could visualize opening gifts in wonderland. Watching the crew unwrap their presents and seeing their reactions made me so happy.

 

Oh, you are so loving. I got tears reading this. 💗

 

1 hour ago, ReallyArtificial said:

This time of year is always hard for me. My relationship with my family is difficult and painful, but for various reasons I can't escape the obligation of being around them. I've always felt disconnected from most of humanity, including my family, and all the emphasis on togetherness and connection makes me even more aware of it.

 

I'm am so sad to hear this. I too, feel disconnected from most of humanity (thus my screen name, "SeekingMyPlanet") and I was always the misfit of the family. I know my parents loved me in their way, but I also sometimes felt their anger that I wasn't like everyone else. I'm glad your headmates helped. It sounds like the bunch of you have created a truly loving family. 

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Thank you so much for the kind words, it really does mean a lot. I hope you and Lavender bring each other as much joy as we've felt together.

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpas:  Lenore 🕸️ Calliope 🐲 and Athelas 🌿 ((Sometimes we talk on here too.))

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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  • 2 weeks later...
(edited)

We're pretty confident that self/in-system hypnosis is going to be how we achieve our first switch. Although it has been really useful for us in other areas, we just weren't huge fans of Linkzelda’s script for switching, so we ended up writing our own. Since Athelas is usually the one reading the script, we were mostly writing in his voice so to speak. I was really intensely focused on him. Basically our script was doing exactly what we wanted it to do: make his voice the dominant one in our mind, while quieting mine.

 

Unfortunately, we got interrupted in the middle of this. After that, everything felt really weird in a way that's hard to describe. I was definitely still the one controlling the body, but things felt kind of distant, like I was still in a trance state. Meanwhile, Tea says things felt much more vivid for him, like he was better connected to the body's senses. It wasn't a switch but I feel like I brought him closer to the front than ever before. We were both extremely excited 😅

 

Other random thoughts:

 

It seems like the concept of switching in this community has evolved over time. In some of the older guides/threads, people were very adamant that switching only occurs when the host is 100% dissociated from the body, fully immersed in wonderland while their tulpa takes over in the physical world. If the host isn't dissociated, it's at most full-body possession.

 

This isn't the case in more recent discussions. It's generally accepted that switching isn't like that for everyone. Like most tulpa-related things, it seems like the experience varies from system to system.

 

Personally, I don't see it happening like that for us. Maybe I'm limiting myself by expecting that it can't/won't be that way, maybe my beliefs will change over time, I dunno. My tulpas aren't really doing stuff in wonderland when they're not active, they don't really experience anything. Athelas says it's like being asleep.

 

Also, I don't necessarily want to be completely immersed in wonderland. Our life isn't really conducive to lengthy switches. In the beginning especially I think it will be important for me to help with navigating various situations. Maybe with practice we'll feel more comfortable with me checking out.

Edited by ReallyArtificial

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpas:  Lenore 🕸️ Calliope 🐲 and Athelas 🌿 ((Sometimes we talk on here too.))

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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3 hours ago, ReallyArtificial said:

We're pretty confident that self/in-system hypnosis is going to be how we achieve our first switch. Although it has been really useful for us in other areas, we just weren't huge fans of Linkzelda’s script for switching, so we ended up writing our own. Since Athelas is usually the one reading the script, we were mostly writing in his voice so to speak. I was really intensely focused on him. Basically our script was doing exactly what we wanted it to do: make his voice the dominant one in our mind, while quieting mine.

 

Unfortunately, we got interrupted in the middle of this. After that, everything felt really weird in a way that's hard to describe. I was definitely still the one controlling the body, but things felt kind of distant, like I was still in a trance state. Meanwhile, Tea says things felt much more vivid for him, like he was better connected to the body's senses. It wasn't a switch but I feel like I brought him closer to the front than ever before. We were both extremely excited 😅

 

My experience is that switching can be a pretty quick thing. Lavender and I can switch in less than a second. Basically it involves quieting my mind (as if I'm in a trance, but I'm not, I'm wide awake) while concentrating on Lavender's energy, and willing that energy to control the body. When I do that, she takes control within a second. That seems to work well for us as long as I don't go all ADHD and get distracted, in which case I'm in control immediately and Lavender gets shuffled to the back.

 

Everyone is different, but my two cents is that a full hypnosis script is unnecessary and maybe a bit cumbersome, but if it's what gets you to a switch, then I wish you well.

 

3 hours ago, ReallyArtificial said:

 

 

It seems like the concept of switching in this community has evolved over time. In some of the older guides/threads, people were very adamant that switching only occurs when the host is 100% dissociated from the body, fully immersed in wonderland while their tulpa takes over in the physical world. If the host isn't dissociated, it's at most full-body possession.

 

This isn't the case in more recent discussions. It's generally accepted that switching isn't like that for everyone. Like most tulpa-related things, it seems like the experience varies from system to system.

 

Personally, I don't see it happening like that for us. Maybe I'm limiting myself by expecting that it can't/won't be that way, maybe my beliefs will change over time, I dunno. My tulpas aren't really doing stuff in wonderland when they're not active, they don't really experience anything. Athelas says it's like being asleep.

 

Also, I don't necessarily want to be completely immersed in wonderland. Our life isn't really conducive to lengthy switches. In the beginning especially I think it will be important for me to help with navigating various situations. Maybe with practice we'll feel more comfortable with me checking out.

 

I'll give my opinion of this, though please don't accept me as any kind of an authority given that I've been tulpamancing for all of five weeks.

 

I think my being completely dissociated while a tulpa controls our body is quite impossible for us. I put it in the same category as my tulpa having memories that I can't access. Maybe some people can do that, but our brain lacks the necessary wiring. It's like a computer that's not connected to the Internet. You can punch buttons all you want, it's not going to connect you. 

 

Like yours, my tulpa does not play in a wonderland pretty much ever, though occasionally, we'll meditate together and enter our wonderland as a couple. At such times, our body is sitting or lying quietly with our eyes closed, so nobody is doing much of any fronting. Since Lavender and I share our memory, she tells me that when she looks back on the times when she wasn't active but I, it feels like she was with me, since she remembers everything that happened to me.  

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4 hours ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

Everyone is different, but my two cents is that a full hypnosis script is unnecessary and maybe a bit cumbersome, but if it's what gets you to a switch, then I wish you well.

 

I really appreciate the feedback! It would definitely be a time consuming way to switch. I'm thinking as we practice it will get quicker for us and we'll discard the script. My experience with almost everything tulpa-related has been that I have to strongarm my brain into cooperating at first, and it gets easier over time.

 

4 hours ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

think my being completely dissociated while a tulpa controls our body is quite impossible for us. I put it in the same category as my tulpa having memories that I can't access. Maybe some people can do that, but our brain lacks the necessary wiring.

 

I kind of suspect I might be the same way. It's an intriguing possibility, but I'm not really going to care if we can't do it.

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpas:  Lenore 🕸️ Calliope 🐲 and Athelas 🌿 ((Sometimes we talk on here too.))

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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More switching related ramblings:

 

It's been interesting to see how different people conceptualize the structure of their system, and how that relates to switching. We’ve already been using the car analogy to organize ourselves.

 

In our case, we distinguish between the driver's seat, passenger seat, and backseat. We can't switch yet so I'm always the one in the driver's seat. I'm the one in control and the one directly experiencing everything - eyes on the road and hands on the wheel. 

 

Whoever is in the passenger seat is the one I'm most focused on and directing most of my thoughts to. We do of course spend time together as a whole group, but with my limited cognitive resources it's easier to focus on one person at a time. I try to give everyone time in the passenger seat every day. When we practice possession, Athelas is still in the passenger seat, but with a hand on the wheel. As the driver I'm still fully aware of our surroundings and can grab the wheel back easily whenever I want.

 

Headmates I'm not actively focusing on are in the backseat. They're not really active, but they're not dormant either, just kind of dimly aware of what's going on. All three of them are able to pipe up from the backseat when something catches their attention. Athelas, as the oldest and strongest, is especially good at this, to the point that I sometimes have to remind him not to crowd out the other two from the passenger seat 😅

 

So I think our initial goal will be to get Athelas into the driver's seat and myself into the passenger seat. Once we both feel confident with that, I'd like to move to the backseat and let the others hang out one on one. We already have a nice little web of relationships forming amongst ourselves - my friendship with Lenore is different from Athelas or Ormyn's friendship with Lenore, etc. I want them to have space to build those relationships without needing me involved, if they choose to.

Host: Bee 🐝

Tulpas:  Lenore 🕸️ Calliope 🐲 and Athelas 🌿 ((Sometimes we talk on here too.))

 

Take a moment to think of just 

Flexibility, love, and trust

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