Life in the Hive

[Athelas]

Bee and I have had some good opportunities to practice switching recently. It started us thinking about how our mind works as a system of four. This is not intended to be an explanation of tulpamancy in general. These are simply my observations and conclusions about our shared mind.

 

In short, the four of us draw from the same limited pool of cognitive resources. This has two major consequences for our system.

 

First, we are deeply aware of each other's thoughts and feelings. We share a single stream of consciousness, to which we can each “tune in.” I used to need Bee's help to do so. Now, I'm tuned in most of the time. I'm aware of almost everything she thinks and feels unless I choose to tune out.

 

Bee, on the other hand, is nearly incapable of tuning out. I can't blame her; she's been tuned in continuously for nearly thirty years. When I front, she is aware the entire time. Calliope and Lenore are in between. They're not as skilled at staying tuned in as I am, and sometimes still need help from Bee or I. They aren't doing anything wrong. They're just younger.

 

Second, we are not capable of parallel processing. At least, not at this time. We have seen other systems whose members are able to be active in the mental world without the current fronter's awareness. We are not one of those systems. 

 

For us, being active in wonderland requires cognitive resources that are largely being consumed by whoever is fronting. If the fronter is doing something that doesn't require much mental effort, we can do whatever we'd like. Otherwise, our wonderland activities are limited by how mentally intensive our actions in the physical world are. It's also impossible for us to keep secrets from one another. The best we can do is willful ignorance.

 

With this in mind, one of our goals going forward is to improve Bee's passive awareness of our presence. Our hope is that this will give each of us some mental energy to work with, without requiring significant effort on her part. We're sticking with our meditation and mindfulness practice to learn to more efficiently balance the mind's attention and awareness. Over time, this should increase our total pool of cognitive resources.

 

As always, we're happy to hear how other systems compare. Thanks for reading.

[TurboSimmie]

That's definitely a 😳😳😳 moment! (Edit: Oops that was in regrards to your Oct 31 post which I thought was the new post 😄) 

Edited November 20, 2024 by TurboSimmie

[TurboSimmie]

4 hours ago, Athelas said:

In short, the four of us draw from the same limited pool of cognitive resources. This has two major consequences for our system.

 

Oh yes, that's definitely something we've learned too. Sometimes the brain just can't run Phil.exe and Simmie.exe at full power at the same time.

 

4 hours ago, Athelas said:

First, we are deeply aware of each other's thoughts and feelings. We share a single stream of consciousness, to which we can each “tune in.” I used to need Bee's help to do so. Now, I'm tuned in most of the time. I'm aware of almost everything she thinks and feels unless I choose to tune out.

 

Exactly!

 

4 hours ago, Athelas said:

Bee, on the other hand, is nearly incapable of tuning out. I can't blame her; she's been tuned in continuously for nearly thirty years. When I front, she is aware the entire time. Calliope and Lenore are in between. They're not as skilled at staying tuned in as I am, and sometimes still need help from Bee or I. They aren't doing anything wrong. They're just younger.

 

Sometimes the hardest thing about switching is not the tulpa learning to be a host, but the host learning to be a tulpa.

 

4 hours ago, Athelas said:

Second, we are not capable of parallel processing. At least, not at this time. We have seen other systems whose members are able to be active in the mental world without the current fronter's awareness. We are not one of those systems. 

 

Yeah, we can't do that either, and there used to be a lot of debate in the community over whether parallel processing is even a thing at all. The closest we can come is what we call "pseudo-parallel processing" where the one processor jumps back and forth between two "programs" quickly enough that it almost feels like they're both running concurrently.

 

4 hours ago, Athelas said:

For us, being active in wonderland requires cognitive resources that are largely being consumed by whoever is fronting. If the fronter is doing something that doesn't require much mental effort, we can do whatever we'd like. Otherwise, our wonderland activities are limited by how mentally intensive our actions in the physical world are. It's also impossible for us to keep secrets from one another. The best we can do is willful ignorance.

 

Yeah, if Phil is doing something that requires a lot of mental effort or concentration, I really can't do anything in-wonderland except watch him. The most vivid wonderland experiences always come when we're able to take our mind away from the outside world as much as possible which is very, very hard for us.

 

4 hours ago, Athelas said:

With this in mind, one of our goals going forward is to improve Bee's passive awareness of our presence. Our hope is that this will give each of us some mental energy to work with, without requiring significant effort on her part. We're sticking with our meditation and mindfulness practice to learn to more efficiently balance the mind's attention and awareness. Over time, this should increase our total pool of cognitive resources.

 

That is a sound strategy! 😊 The more you work that mental muscle the better you'll be at it! 😁

[ringgggg]

21 hours ago, Athelas said:

First, we are deeply aware of each other's thoughts and feelings. We share a single stream of consciousness, to which we can each “tune in.” I used to need Bee's help to do so. Now, I'm tuned in most of the time. I'm aware of almost everything she thinks and feels unless I choose to tune out.

Dude, it's like having a friend you can read like a book combined with the emotional responses you get from a tulpa. 

 

21 hours ago, Athelas said:

With this in mind, one of our goals going forward is to improve Bee's passive awareness of our presence. Our hope is that this will give each of us some mental energy to work with, without requiring significant effort on her part. We're sticking with our meditation and mindfulness practice to learn to more efficiently balance the mind's attention and awareness. Over time, this should increase our total pool of cognitive resources.

It's always so hard to go the full mile. I'm a really distractible person, and just based off what I'm used to, I could probably go only a couple minutes until I forget A3 is next to me. It's usually better off the more time I spend with her, but you're already doing a good job with that, so keep getting used to having him around. Hone in on having specific 1-on-1 periods in the day, too, like having lunch with them. Make it so that whenever you think lunch, you think of them. Be smart about remembering; we're bound to forget at some point, so having these little rest points helps out a lot.

 

I have a feeling you'll be good on that, though. Gl you guys

[Athelas]

On 11/20/2024 at 3:08 PM, TurboSimmie said:

Sometimes the hardest thing about switching is not the tulpa learning to be a host, but the host learning to be a tulpa.

 

So true. We're both getting better at swapping roles.

 

On 11/21/2024 at 9:11 AM, ringgggg said:

Hone in on having specific 1-on-1 periods in the day, too, like having lunch with them. Make it so that whenever you think lunch, you think of them. Be smart about remembering; we're bound to forget at some point, so having these little rest points helps out a lot.

 

Our thoughts exactly. Mealtimes were one of the areas we were specifically focusing on.

[ReallyArtificial]

Just a random tulpa-related realization I had recently:

 

I've always been pretty sensitive and was never a fan of friendly teasing. I know it's normal for a lot of people's relationships, but I was always too insecure to be comfortable with it (my husband being the one exception). I didn't like myself, so I didn't trust that other people actually liked me, and any teasing from them just confirmed it in my mind. It didn't help that I had some “friends” who, looking back, actually did mistreat me for their own amusement.

 

With my system, though, it's so much different. We can always feel the intent behind each other's words and actions, like built in tone tags. Calliope can straight up call me an idiot and I'm just like, “thanks, love you too, ya wee bastard,” because we both understand we're being silly and affectionate. Athelas thinks it's hilarious if I tell him to shut up because he knows how much I actually love to hear him talk. We can be sure that any teasing or sarcasm is coming from a place of deep love, and that's a level of trust I'm not really used to having in friendships. It's pretty awesome to experience it for the first time.

[TurboSimmie]

11 hours ago, ReallyArtificial said:

We can always feel the intent behind each other's words and actions, like built in tone tags.

 

Yes, exactly! 😁 We have a similar dynamic, we tease each other but always know and understand the loving and playful intention from one another. 🥰

[Athelas]

A splash of color in the midst of winter — my butterflyweed decided now was the right time to bloom.

 

 

I planted this seed months ago. It's not quite the pollinator garden of my dreams, but it does prove that I'm a better plant parent than Bee ;)

 

She's not been enjoying this weather as much as I have. I could listen to this all day.

 

 

 

 

[Athelas]

Bee and Calliope have an ever-growing collection of novelty cookbooks — Bee's way of motivating herself to cook more. Their most recent addition was LOTR themed. One particular recipe caught our eye:

 

 

I love everything about this. Apparently, I taste like mint and lemon. We always imagined athelas as more like lavender, but it canonically smells different to everyone.

 

Bee:

 

[ReallyArtificial]

We're on a road trip right now! This is the longest car ride my headmates have experienced, so naturally we had to spend some time thinking about what it would be like if we had separate bodies.

 

Athelas:

• Insists on doing most of the driving because he's the most responsible 
• Wants to stop at every landmark/tourist trap to take pictures
• Just vibing, enjoying the scenery, music, and company

Calliope:

• "you got games on your phone?"
• Sticks their head out of the window like a dog
• Asks "are we there yet" every ten minutes

Lenore:

• Actually hates long car rides
• Eats an excessive amount of my peanut butter cookie edibles
• Puts on headphones and goes to sleep

Bee:

• Either drives or helps navigate
• Hums and sings along to the music
• Points out every animal we see