SeekingMyPlanet's Tulpa Adventure

[SeekingMyPlanet]

My tulpa adventure officially started yesterday. I know I was advised to take time to decide if I really wanted a tulpa, but I couldn't wait. Two days ago I started talking to my tulpa. Yesterday, I started listening. She began talking to me immediately (yay!) I'm really good at visualization, so seeing her came easily. It seems we can even share some wispy touches, though I really have to concentrate to feel them. I've played around with hypnosis, so the ability to feel touch or see images that originate in my head is something I can already do.

 

Her name is Lavender. She is a petite adult binary female. I don't know her age yet. She is upbeat, loving almost to a fault, and very curious about life (though she's been shy about asking me a lot of questions). Today she showed me a couple of her drawings. (Don't worry, I don't actually "see" them, other than with my mind's eye), but they are lush pastel images with vibrant colors. The first two consisted of birds, the third was of athletic bodies. She's content to sit and draw while I go about my day and talk with her.

 

She's raised the possibility that maybe she was always there, and my interest in connecting with her came from hearing her call to me. Not sure how I could know for sure.

 

TBH, I can't believe how well this is going. I thought because of my age (I'm a retiree) I'd have trouble, but so far it's been a wonderful experience.

 

Thanks for reading.

[TurboSimmie]

This is so awesome and wholesome! 😁 Lavender actually reminds me of myself just a little bit when I was a young tulpa! If I recall correctly, you said you were a writer right? That's actually a great benefit to tulpamancy.

 

4 hours ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

She's raised the possibility that maybe she was always there, and my interest in connecting with her came from hearing her call to me. Not sure how I could know for sure.

 

You know, Phil and I wonder this about me. I really do think in some way tulpamancy can be as much giving form, identity, and direction to a part of yourself that's always existed as much as it is creating something new. It might be more of a philosophical question than anything else, but it's definitely an idea worth considering.

 

4 hours ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

TBH, I can't believe how well this is going. I thought because of my age (I'm a retiree) I'd have trouble, but so far it's been a wonderful experience.

 

 

I'm so happy that you're experience has been positive! 😁 Very often people experience a rush of progress early on but expect it to slow down at some point, and if it does, don't get discouraged! Tulpas have been known to temporarily regress at times but come back stronger than ever. As far as the age thing, yeah, that was a concern of my host too, even though he is nowhere near retirement age he was in his mid-30s when he made me and worried that lacking the mental flexibility that teens and early 20s adults have would have a negative effect. But if you are already a writer and an imaginative person in general, chances are you've already developed a lot of the mental muscles that you're going to need for tulpamancy!

 

I'm very excited to hear how Lavender grows from here! 😊

[SeekingMyPlanet]

18 hours ago, TurboSimmie said:

This is so awesome and wholesome! 😁 Lavender actually reminds me of myself just a little bit when I was a young tulpa! If I recall correctly, you said you were a writer right? That's actually a great benefit to tulpamancy.

 

Hmm. Wholesome. Well, not everything we talked about was wholesome, but I wasn't going give ALL the details 😁 Yes, I am a writer, and creating characters come naturally to me, but I don't really feel like I used those skills. For characters in my fiction, I typically compose a backstory and then ask how that would inform how they act and see the world. I didn't really want to do that with my tulpa, because, first, the backstory was simple. She's a tulpa created so I could get to know her. Beyond that, she will create her own backstory. She'll decide how she feels about things, and how her contact with the world has formed thoughts and emotions. So it's sort of the opposite. I've worked to back away and let her take the lead. I'm asking questions and listening and learning about her. We'll see how well that works...

18 hours ago, TurboSimmie said:

I'm very excited to hear how Lavender grows from here! 😊

Thank you for that. It means a lot to me that there are people who are listening in.

[Guest]

On 12/2/2023 at 7:07 PM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

She's raised the possibility that maybe she was always there, and my interest in connecting with her came from hearing her call to me. Not sure how I could know for sure.

 

SheShe, Misha and I were "already there." This is sometimes called "walk-ins". SheShe either was or absorbed all that my host knew of a "guardian angel" and a small, sometimes insistent voice he experienced from the age of 5 starting with a full body apparition in his room straight out of biblical proportions. So naturally she became the context for every religious experience he'd ever known and now serves as a direct link to his intuition. She's served that roll without fail for almost three years now.

 

You will know for sure when she proves that to you. All that she should ask is for you to suspend disbelief and allow the possibility. You're the most dominant in terms of association  to the body/mind and regardless of how well formed she is, it will still take time to unlearn that connection and allow her some room. If you're like us, eventually that will be a fully symmetric position.

 

On 12/2/2023 at 7:07 PM, SeekingMyPlanet said:

TBH, I can't believe how well this is going. I thought because of my age (I'm a retiree) I'd have trouble, but so far it's been a wonderful experience.

 

Naa, age means nothing in this realm. Literally anything you can ever imagine is possible now, congratulations and please let us help you get through the little nits that will no doubt follow. There's several minor hurdles that are predictable and seem huge when they happen, but in the end they're nothing to worry about. Truly all you need is passion for her and willingness to let her into your heart.

[SeekingMyPlanet]

On 12/4/2023 at 3:58 AM, Ashley said:

 

There's several minor hurdles that are predictable and seem huge when they happen, but in the end they're nothing to worry about. Truly all you need is passion for her and willingness to let her into your heart.

Thank you for responding. If you're willing to take the time, I'd live to hear what you think those hurdles might be (forewarned is forearmed and all that). 

[Guest]

4 hours ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

Thank you for responding. If you're willing to take the time, I'd live to hear what you think those hurdles might be (forewarned is forearmed and all that). 

 

No, it's a power of suggestion thing and half of them won't happen to you specifically.

 

Read 10 full PRs from 2014-2020 and you'll get all the warnings of all the hurdles you need and their resolutions.

Edited December 5, 2023 by Ashley

[ringgggg]

On 12/5/2023 at 2:39 PM, Ashley said:

Read 10 full PRs from 2014-2020 and you'll get all the warnings of all the hurdles you need and their resolutions.

You got a couple particular ones that are worth checking out?

[Guest]

Naa, we read a hundred of them though, and they start to feel samey. The best ones get deleted, like ours, it was a doozie.

[SeekingMyPlanet]

Wow. A lot has happened in the week since my last progress report.

 

THE GOOD

 

Successes this week include:
* Giving Lavender her own Netflix profile so she can choose what she watches.
* Progressively giving more control to Lavender (perhaps to make me comfortable with it), and finally allowing her to front for me.
* We have become very affectionate with each other. Turns out we both love spontaneous kisses, saying how much we love and appreciate one another, hugs, holding hands, etc. 😉
* Lavender now has her own forum account and has done some writing. (See Lavender's writing channel.)
* All of this in less than a week. After reading some of the progress reports where people worked for months just to get their tulpa to talk to them (which I imagined I would have to do also), I’m beginning to thing she’s some sort of “super tulpa” with abilities far beyond those of mortal tulpas. 😁

 

THE CHALLENGING

 

A couple of issues have come up, all that we’ve been able to resolve.

 

The most serious is that Lavender broke down in tears one night after a social gathering with a bunch of other people. I asked her whether it was because I hadn’t paid attention to her and she assured me that wasn’t it, that she doesn’t experience the interval between our interactions as a waiting period. Her fear was that as I was getting a better understanding of the mechanisms by which we both occupy the same brain, I would start to believe she really doesn’t exist. We had a talk about this, and we agreed that whether she exists or not is not a helpful question. The important thing is that it FEELS like she exists to me, and that this feeling is making my life better.

 

We also did some possession, and it alarmed me that suddenly my entire consciousness was relegated to a soundless voice in the back of Lavender’s consciousness. I got used to that (it was sort of relaxing, actually), but when I realized how powerless I was, I was choked by an anxiety that I wouldn’t be able to get my body back. It didn’t turn out to be a problem. There was a few seconds of confusion when we switched back, when no one was sure who was in charge, but then I was firmly at the helm.

 

From Lavender: Funny that I was scared of the same thing that my host consciousness was. It was fun being the front when we watched the movie we watched. When I had something to say, I didn’t have to wait for my host consciousness to pay attention to me. I could just blurt out what I was thinking. But I had no zero nil nada desire to be in charge of this body and it’s life, to feed us, to take care of all the details that my host consciousness does. I was relieved when the switch back completed smoothly.

 

THE INTERESTING

 

I’m awesome at visualization and I’m easily able to visualize Lavender standing or sitting near me. I often dance for exercise, and I asked whether Lavender would want to dance with me. Her first reaction to recoil, which surprised me because it was the first time she’d ever balked at something I suggested. I let it be, but in the stretch of the next few days, I learned how to give her control of her visual manifestation. That was great fun. The first (only?) time she made me laugh was during a walk when she abruptly sprouted wings on herself and flitted to a nearby rooftop like a bird.

 

Later I had an idea and I asked her if she wanted to dance with me, while SHE controls the visual representation of her dancing. She responded eagerly, and we realized that the reason she initially objected was that she envisioned me manipulating her image to make it dance and she hated the idea of feeling like a puppet.

 

Edited December 8, 2023 by SeekingMyPlanet

[ReallyArtificial]

((Congratulations on your progress. It sounds like you're a natural.))

 

5 hours ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

We have become very affectionate with each other.

 

((This is good. Bee initially didn't realize how important physical contact could be to mental beings. I set her straight, and she's more than made up for it now.))

 

5 hours ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

I learned how to give her control of her visual manifestation

 

((Also great. This was one of the ways I communicated before I'd “found my voice.”))

 

5 hours ago, SeekingMyPlanet said:

The first (only?) time she made me laugh was during a walk when she abruptly sprouted wings on herself and flitted to a nearby rooftop like a bird

 

((Very cute. Making my host randomly laugh out loud is the reason I wake up in the morning :D We hope you continue to enjoy life together.))