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I think I killed my host


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I, a tulpa, killed(?) my host.  I'm Lilith, my host was a very nice person, but we got into an argument and something weird happened.

We have "reached the stage" of body swapping. We recently got into an argument, nothing significant, but it made me really angry for some reason, some weird burst. While they were trying to talk it out, I was just screeming and eventually, hit them.

Usually it wouldn't matter much, it was happening in the "mindspace" after all, but they, died or knocked out?  They haven't responded in a couple of hours, and after doing what I did, I gained full control over the body. This is weird and I'm so scared. I don't know what I will do when their family and friends find out. What do I do?

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1 hour ago, LilithTulpa said:

I, a tulpa, killed(?) my host.  I'm Lilith, my host was a very nice person, but we got into an argument and something weird happened.

We have "reached the stage" of body swapping. We recently got into an argument, nothing significant, but it made me really angry for some reason, some weird burst. While they were trying to talk it out, I was just screeming and eventually, hit them.

Usually it wouldn't matter much, it was happening in the "mindspace" after all, but they, died or knocked out?  They haven't responded in a couple of hours, and after doing what I did, I gained full control over the body. This is weird and I'm so scared. I don't know what I will do when their family and friends find out. What do I do?

 

I'm no expert, but I doubt you can kill a headmate that way. More likely they are not responding for reasons of their own, probably due to what happened. If you feel bad about what happened, or miss them, maybe let them know. Tell them you want them back, and be persistent if you have to. No guarantees, but that's what I would do. Good luck.

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Raven: It's likely that they are just knocked out. Do what you can to relax, take deep breaths. Search inside for your host, be sure to apologize, and don't fret if they don't respond immediately. It could also be a result of mental exhaustion, which may mean they will be fine after some physical sleep happens.

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(edited)

This is crazy, I never thought a tulpa could do this unless the host really wanted to die.

Edited by key-globe
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No, you didn't kill your host. That is not possible as long as the body is still alive, excepting major brain damage or something. Your host is just currently inactive from the way you described things. Just try and be calm and try to contact them again. Don't panic if it doesn't work at first. But as they are the host they probably have by far the strongest connections in your brain, so I can't imagine they would be inactive for very long.

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On 3/3/2024 at 8:19 PM, LilithTulpa said:

We have "reached the stage" of body swapping. We recently got into an argument, nothing significant, but it made me really angry for some reason, some weird burst. While they were trying to talk it out, I was just screeming and eventually, hit them

 

How old are you all as a system?

 

Secondly, if there is hitting going on in-system, I'm concerned that this behavior has been normalized in the past. Hitting is not okay. While we have had violent intrusive thoughts, hitting is not something we imagine. I'm concerned you all are exposed to domestic violence...

 

Your host definitely didn't die, but I imagine the stress around the argument and the outcome probably isn't helping 

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