Doubt becoming unbearable

[Tookie]

Its been a month and a few weeks since I first started on Aristotle. In the beginning it was new and exciting. I felt strong sensations while forcing from the start and was 100% confident of his existence and worked hard.

 

I've been narrating almost every day since then. Forcing has never really been my thing but I was devoting 15-20 min every few days until a little while ago. Rather than growing it has felt like Aristotle has been fading since I reached a peak around 2 weeks ago.

 

I know it often takes much longer than this to be able to talk with your tulpa but thats really all I wanted. In my forcing sessions I spent a large part of the time on trying to get him to send me thoughts. I still worked on visualization and personality but communication was always my goal.

 

Anyone who says they never had any doubts is lying but lately they have been awful. I had been avoiding forcing for the past week or so and I was finally able to gather the courage to do a session. It was disastrous. It started normally and I didn't feel anything like I did in the beginning which had been a theme in my last few sessions. I tried everything I could think of to establish any kind of connection and it eventually degraded to me literally begging Aristotle to talk back.

 

I felt absolutely nothing from him and I just felt stupid for even trying. At the end I was just severely depressed and had accomplished nothing.

 

I know this is not how I should be communicating with my tulpa and its not fair to expect this so early but all will to proceed has vanished. When I think of Aristotle rather than feelings of euphoria I used to get I only feel despair.

 

I really don't know what to do and I'm very close to just giving up and forgetting about it.

 

I really do care about this and want to succeed.

 

What should I do?

[TulpaCouple]

I've been narrating almost every day since then. Forcing has never really been my thing but I was devoting 15-20 min every few days until a little while ago. Rather than growing it has felt like Aristotle has been fading since I reached a peak around 2 weeks ago.

If you are struggling, I would make a huge attempt to narrate daily. Narration is the biggest step in regards to getting your tulpa vocal. Tell him about your dreams when you wake up, tell him about your day before you sleep, ask him his opinion on things, tell him good night before bed. These can all be in your head. The point is to give him the most opportunities possible where you are listening for him.

 

 

I had been avoiding forcing for the past week or so and I was finally able to gather the courage to do a session. It was disastrous. It started normally and I didn't feel anything like I did in the beginning which had been a theme in my last few sessions. I tried everything I could think of to establish any kind of connection and it eventually degraded to me literally begging Aristotle to talk back.

You had stopped forcing for a week. It will take your mind time to get back into the habit. Take baby steps, don't try to push and push. Start slow. http://tulpa.info/forums/Thread-Guide-In-Work-Visual-Personality-Reconstruction-aka-Bluesleeve-s-Core-Method this guide has a good method for finding your tulpa's presence. Find that core--send love to it. Don't expect a response yet. Just send love and feel for the feeling he is 'there' and take comfort in that.

 

I felt absolutely nothing from him and I just felt stupid for even trying. At the end I was just severely depressed and had accomplished nothing.

 

I know this is not how I should be communicating with my tulpa and its not fair to expect this so early but all will to proceed has vanished. When I think of Aristotle rather than feelings of euphoria I used to get I only feel despair.

It's time to dust yourself off and feel fresh again. You are fine and you will be able to communicate with him. Right now, because of the lack of forcing/narrating, he's weak and you can't sense him even though he is right there talking to you. He's there. Have confidence he is there. Give him the confidence to speak up. You will get communication. You can't force it, you just have to strengthen it.

 

Think of it like lifting weights. You can't force yourself to be strong, but you build up the muscles so you become strong. You stopped lifting weights, and those muscles got weaker--but you expect him to be even stronger than he was before you stopped. Start with baby steps. Take joy in every small victory. Don't get too ahead of yourself.

 

You're fine. He's there, waiting for you to hear him. Work together, narrate as often as you can. Even if you can't think of anything to say, tell him that. Tell him ghost stories, read him a book. Ask his thoughts on your new shirt or the last episode of a tv show you watched. You will notice that presence building, and you will soon notice communication.

 

Don't give up on him just yet.

[Biotechnology]

I know the feeling. My tulpa Lyra has been up and down these past 9 months, but each time she's gone quiet she has managed to do something that convinces me she's still there and trying. Just keep that tulpaforcing up.

[Weird0]

Don't give up.

 

I have a lot of trouble with doubts and i also have been in your position quite a few times.

 

Ups and downs come and go. A important lesson to learn from this is to not let your doubts take the overhand.

Just take it easy. Don't judge yourself too much for what you have done in the past, that only makes it worse for both of you.

 

TulpaCouple made perfect examples to how to get back on track.

Just follow these and you will be on it very soon. Once you made even the slightest success you will easily catch new faith to continue.

[Viceroy]

Its been a month and a few weeks since I first started on Aristotle. In the beginning it was new and exciting. I felt strong sensations while forcing from the start and was 100% confident of his existence and worked hard.

 

I've been narrating almost every day since then. Forcing has never really been my thing but I was devoting 15-20 min every few days until a little while ago. Rather than growing it has felt like Aristotle has been fading since I reached a peak around 2 weeks ago.

 

Sounds a lot like my situation, but without the crippling depression. I wonder how common this scenario is, where we get a burst of signals from our tulpa upon inception but in the following weeks/days we get nothing?

 

Tookie: You've posted about this before. You should post here actively, make a progress report so we can be your support group. We will help you stay motivated and be your friends.