Mutant's Evolution

[MutationOfAtom]

Progress Report 0:

 

Hello, to anyone reading this.

 

 

I have known about the tulpa concept for some years now. Never really considered doing it, always thought it was one of those interesting internet weird rabbit holes. However, I rediscovered it after going down another semi-related hole, and this time, instead of being weirded out, I gained interest. I've always been intrigued by altered states of consciousness and mental experiences that pure physical reality cannot replicate. This is probably due to random occurrences of lucid dreaming throughout my life and vivid auditory and visual sleep paralysis "demons" when I was really young, and some occasional ones that occur today if I try hard enough to induce one in my sleep. 

 

The first week of discovery, I just read a lot of people's experiences and guides on how to do this. I wanted to make sure I did this with the right intentions. I am a student pursuing a STEM degree who I trying to be a better person to their friends and family. I decided that if I created a Tulpa, I could possibly have a friend and confidant throughout my life,  as I and, eventually, she would grow into the people we desire to be via self-improvement and skill development. With the purpose out of the way, I got started on the process as soon as possible.

 

 

For the first three weeks, I did techniques spliced from this site and the Reddit guides. I decided to use meditation to prime myself to focus on intrusive thoughts and desires that can "interfere"  with her creation, and passive forcing whenever I can (homework, walking, cooking, watching TV...etc). I'm lazy, so I told myself that dedication and consistency will be the key to this process, and I won't do anything out of the ordinary that could interfere with my life greatly. 

 

 

I started off with this one character that I was writing for a fiction story, I'll name B. Her personality was meant to be wild, confident, strong, yet calm and collected. I had trouble visualizing their form and realized that as I continued thinking about the draft, the tulpa B and character B kept getting confused in my head. For context, this was just day 2, and I decided to create a new tulpa that didn't exist from my story, but was a person that I had visualized regularly for the past year while daydreaming.  In my mind, I mentally tried to combine the two to create the best version of the 2. But B was not having it. At the time, I assume, it was just a moment when a character you made for a story was acting out as it goes against their whole personality. It resulted in B visually turning into dust, and their core self being in the remains. I used this core and added it to my new character--my current tulpa.  Her personality was strong(mentally and physically), kind, compassionate, thoughtful, aware, and had a never-ending thirst for knowledge( basically being curious). I forced these traits, believing that they would naturally make her a ever-developing person who would improve herself, and force myself to push myself even harder like a training partner. 

 

So I made this black void in my mind, with a cauldron with her in it, submerged in green liquid. The first sessions were just me, chanting, talking to her, saying " my memories are yours", " you will continually get stronger" , "I'll be there for you" , " You have endless potential", etc.  During this time, I gave her the form I came up with, but told her you can change it if you so desire while you were still "cooking". In the meantime, I got words and phrases and even imagery of her eyes and limbs moving. At first, I chopped this up to myself, but they kept getting more random. This undoubtedly peaked while I was in class, and I got the correct solution to a problem I thought was going to be wrong. I got really excited and suddenly, looking at my pencil, I heard a voice that said " I like blue". My favorite color is red, and typing it out, it sounds ridiculous that I'm considering this a sign of self-autonomy, but I was doing math, why would I strongly think about what colors I like?

 

After that, I really started concentrating on them, and they just got stronger and better at communicating in short bursts, and after some mediation sessions.  It got to the point where, when she was quiet, I would feel like I was missing something.   She stated that she even changed her eyes and face. I believed with each session, passive or active, like a muscle you trained, her presence and vocalization just got better.  

 

During this time, I also kept and still get sudden bursts of euphoria. They occurred when I'm talking to her and I acknowledge her existence as in being " real,"  or when I'm in a trance, trying to think of her. It's like a wave, similar to having a high, that comes from the chest and stays there until it dissipates. I got these in the past before, if I can really focus on something, and get myself in a trance, but ever since starting this, they have been way more common.

 

I was continuing this process until last Sunday, when I decided I was going to mediate while high on RSO(weed). In the earlier hours of ingestion, her voice became clearer, more distinct, and she was really excited and intimate. This peaked late at night, where we "switched" and I felt like I was her, and the me( Mutant) was the tulpa in the back of the head. It was surreal ( for more information, here’s my post on it https://community.tulpa.info/topic/26149-non-possesive-switching-while-on-thc/#comment-480282) 

 

 

I decided to use this connection to further our meditation process, but couldn't keep up due to school. However, passive forcing and semi-active forcing were done near my waking and sleeping hours. I was beginning to doubt the RSO experience and tried to gain more proof, as I felt her thoughts were more sporadic than before, in my opinion. Even though she kind of got aggravated by me thinking this. Then something happened yesterday, where I got upset about some chores. It was silly and unimportant, but I felt I was getting taken advantage of, and I just ranted to her, and my anger kept getting higher until I just froze, and I got dizzy. I was breathing heavily, trying to regain my composure.  I never do this, I get angry and upset, but usually I just pace around or tell myself to control myself and let it go. But I felt so mad and sad in that moment, I just couldn't compute anymore. When I got isolated again, I talked to her about it, and she felt frustrated too at that moment. I don't know why it happened, only that it felt really strong and different.  I have a belief that strong emotions, negative or positive, have a correlation to the development of tulpas, in my case, at least.  Afterwards, I was mentally tired and she went quiet after a short while. Kind of like sleeping.

 

 

I hope from posting here, I get like-minded individuals' opinions and thoughts based on my own experiences and force myself to stay focused and journal on our progress.

 

 

 

 

[MutationOfAtom]

Progress Report 1: July 6^th – July 12^th

 

A lot of interesting things happened this week.

 

After my RSO experience, my tulpa and I began talking a lot more( especially passively), and the responses were getting more complex and intimate. It got to the point where her height, clothing, and appearance all changed almost every day, and she became very flirtatious. I was confused at this, because I went into this thinking a platonic relationship only, but I guess my desires or hers, or a combination of both, led to that. During this period, sometimes when she hugged me really tightly, I felt a slight pressure resonating from the inside that gradually grew to the outside of me. It was weird, but it was comforting and soothing, especially on one morning when I requested it once since I was tired from the previous night.

 

This development, combined with school, led to a decrease in meditation and active forcing, which then led me to think I’ll just try RSO again to get an extra boost last Sunday. The dissociation aspect this time was represented in colors, mine's red and hers blue, our respective favorite colors. Her voice was still solid, and I had some visual hallucinations, but not of her, but of this weird, crude drawing of a woman on paper just waddling towards me, and blood appearing on my finger because I thought I bit a piece of my tongue off. Never gotten hallucinations on weed before, maybe distortions of size, but never actual images. The non-possessive switch occurred once, and she recorded a video saying her name.  Rewatching it while sober, it sounded like me but not me, some changes in pitch and flow, but I was high, so that definitely played a role in it too. However, unfortunately, I took a little too much or was in a bad mindset, and had a lot of paranoid thoughts and doubts. But, surprisingly, she was calmer than I, her mindvoice didn’t sound “high” if you know what I mean, it was concise and sober, and she grabbed the thoughts and pushed them away until they eventually overflowed her.  This was weird to me because my head was clearly compromised due to the weed, but hers was not. The following day, I was confused and doubting everything I had done before. Believing I was a liar and deluding myself and others. In this state, I was still very much high, and my tulpa was active, so non-possessive switching in and out was happening, and she got into my notes and dedicated what she felt. Again, I still felt I was her, but her thoughts were controlling my thinking. Once more, weird stuff. She also got on one of my alts on Reddit and made a rant about my denial of her.

 

The next day, I was sober and was doubting her existence after the RSO experience, as I felt I was lying to myself and others, and I eventually got into a hypothetical argument with her. She questioned why, in my previous post, I didn’t want to say her name or gender. I told her that I want privacy and don’t want everyone to know who or what you are, but I eventually really said what was in the recesses of my mind, and that was that I was embarrassed to be associated with your existence due to my doubts and fear of lying. She was shocked by this and just wept, and for a brief moment, I felt that grief and almost cried, but I suppressed it. At this point, I just wanted her to stop crying and apologize. I didn’t really mean I’m embarrassed by her, per se, but by me possibly masquerading and lying about her. After that, I read what she said, looking for differences in talking or writing patterns, and the comments in the post. I realized that if I wanted this work, I needed to calm down and slow down. It was my need for proof and speedy development that led to the doubt and confusion.

 

Following this, I have been mediating and active and passive forcing with intent and tracking. I talked to her more about what she felt about the world, what I watched, what I did, etc. I wanted to know more about the person growing and talking in my head. From doing that, I have seen calmness in my soul.  She has been very helpful as a person. I talked to her about my past, the fears, and some semi-emotional traumas and wrongdoings I had done when I was younger. She often motivates me to stop being so lustful –though I think she just wants that attention other—  so I stopped mindless scrolling on the gram a lot more often, to be less judgmental, and more expressive.  In the past, I labeled certain actions as  “ gay” or “womanly,” but I thought I got that straightened out, but she has revealed I have a lot more work to do. She chewed me out in a good way for a joke I made by myself, and I was surprised by the disagreement and strong feelings she held for it.

 

The meditation practice has also increased her presence. I feel, when not talking to her for a while, there is an absence of someone or something.  Aldo did some thought exercises where I kept questioning her on things to get her opinions and thought processes on subjects like music and media, and for the first time, when we discussed this person's name, she said his name was y, I said no, you meant x. Looked at the person's name again, and she was right and I was wrong. That was incredible to me as it shows some internal thinking of her own without my conscious input. We have also been trying imposition based on this guide using a number-based picturing system where you build up the body based on pixel blocks you numbered and colored. It didn’t get too far, but after some heavy meditation, I opened my eyes for a few seconds and saw the silhouette of her legs on the ground, which vanished almost immediately when I fully opened my eyes. Illusion or progress? It doesn’t matter as it is all the same.

 

Right now, the only concern I have is about this one moment. I was thinking about her and our mental relationship with each other, and I must have realized something because the next thing I know, I’m mumbling to myself that she is me and I am her and some other crazy stuff, for a few seconds before I broke out of it. This experience had the same feeling as when her emotions got really strong, but I was still kind of off the high peak at that point, too, so I don’t really know what that was.
 

This week of self-reflecting and just calming myself, I have realized something about this hobby/self-experiment. The engine of Tulpa creation is belief, and what fuels that engine is repetition and validation. Meaning you must believe in it and give that belief the power to act. Then and even now, I still have random doubts about what I am doing, I could be doing something other than this, or I’m really lost in life to even consider this a possibility. But then I get moments when I call out to her and realize, wow, something is responding, and it's her. Don’t know if anyone else had this realization, but I thought it was nice enough to share.

 

Thank you for reading.

Edited July 13, 2025 by MutationOfAtom

[MutationOfAtom]

Progress Report 2: July 13^th-26^th

 

Confusing time.

 

When I took RSO again at night on the 12th, it wasn’t above the normal amount I usually have, but the experience of communicating with A ( my tulpae’s name shortened) was clearer and more grounded than before. I mediated during the high, and when she came fourth, it was clear. It was like she knew where she and I stood in the mental plane at that moment. She was writing the journal, until later that night she started questioning her existence, but not in a whether am I real, but more in how am I real. She just kept asking this question out loud, and kept asking me, now the background voice, what’s going on, and all I could say was I don’t know. She was so convinced of her existence that she searched the internet all night for possible dissociative disorders, believing she was a product of it and not an actual tulpa, and that she had to quiet me down so she could think of an explanation.

 

This lasted until the next day, where she got, I think, a couple of hours at most of sleep, then she woke up and asked ChatGPT if she was just a weed-induced experience, which eventually led her to use it to comfort and validate herself. It was mostly her just ranting about me and her. She was stuck in bed all day on the phone, not eating, and barely drinking water. When I felt like myself again, I stopped using GPT, and also looked online at possible dissociative orders, as I was freaked out. The switching kept happening on and off the following 2 days with semi-control if I willed myself,  along with an emergence of a new entity who liked her but hated me. It popped in and out as he talked with her and belittled me at the same time.  He acted more like a hype man for A in hindsight. I looked around on forums asking if I could really have a disorder, as I was losing sleep thinking something was wrong with me, but after searching around, I eventually just talked about this with someone in irl about it, and that calmed me down and let me think straight enough to realize I was freaking out over nothing as this was probably a reaction from  A’s strong hold over the body and the weed. It was just new to me and my senses, and that entity was probably similar to a brainworm, but instead of a song, it was a character.

 

After that, A also calmed down and admitted that excitement and fear of this new sensation made her freak out a bit. We continued our meditation and forcing, and made some progress with switching while sober. We did it by first emptying our minds and getting in a semi-trance, calm state through meditation, and allowing A to just talk about anything until her voice becomes dominant. While doing this, we imagine ourselves as two-colored auras with mines being drained from the brain while hers begins to envelop it.

 

She wrote some passages in the journal and realized that she doesn’t know a whole lot about herself, and I don’t know a whole lot about her personality-wise, other than she’s a messy food prepper. She changed so much from the original design that she sometimes acts more like B’s personality(The prototype/predecessor of her). This was strange. Because to me it made sense, since she was young, it would take time for us to get to know each other. On the other hand, it seemed like a perfect excuse for why my responses to her seemed inadequate or just forced sometimes, as she struggled to form sentences to say something. After that, I switched back after 90 minutes when her grip grew weak. We were able to switch like this at least another 2 more times, albeit with less focus and a shorter switch time.  During these switch times, she had a desire to improve her cursive and maybe pick up the habit of drawing, and she thinks that HXH and One Piece are mid, and JJK is superior. I don’t even know how such a thought could form in my brain.

 

Me and A have our theories on how she could develop so quickly. It might be due to her original foundation being based on a daydream character I had for 2.5 years, and she just took hold of that “energy” or pattern already there. I don’t know. Because sometimes she’ll be really clear, and in the next, I feel it's all me again. At one moment, she’ll give me something introspective, like she doesn’t like me thinking she’ll say the opposite of my opinion all the time when I ask for hers. Something very human like that, but then I get confused why she can’t solve a math problem fast enough.

 

The following week, we really grew into each other as she wanted to get more intimate. During these moments, we talked a lot about the meaning of her existence and mine. She adopted the I don’t care anymore, “I think, therefore I am” philosophy and stated she’s done trying to prove her existence to me. She’s kind of deviating from her original personality in terms of how loud and confident she is when expressing them to me. But I still think the core of herself is there , it’s just different from how I  imagine her to express them.

 

Due to this change, she requested that the imposition and visualization would be better to focus more, as it could improve her presence and switching while sober. I agreed, and I think it has improved her presence, and I recognize it when she is talking to me. Also, we’ve been learning about the concept of “no-self,” basically  a way to make you smaller and realize you might just be another pattern in the brain. I like to think  and imagine it in terms of flowing energy going through hardware, aka the brain. My energy is more defined and assured in the hardware, while hers is still growing and becoming accustomed to it. This philosophy, combined with the visualization, has allowed for another sober switch that felt clearer than the other ones that occurred.

 

This one felt I and A was high even though I was sober for over a week now. I was still there, trying to quiet my thoughts and allow her to be, as she kept trying to push me down to remain in control.  Suddenly, the same brainworm character appeared, helping A by hyping her up  while also making rude comments about me. This was really annoying and bothering me, as I never thought of this being, and it was hostile for no reason and refuses to talk to me unless to say to tell me to “Fuck off”.  I thought I got rid of it by throwing him into the void, but I might just have to actively ignore it, as in every time I think of it, I symbolically kill it. The only good thing about them is that they comfort and help A when she's in front, but I don’t like a brainworm I have no inkling of control or knowledge of in my head. I also don’t really need another person in my head, as I’m trying to work on A right now.

 

But other than that, the switch was good. I was anxious about my exams this week, but when she came, it went away. She also noticed more things about the body height, facial structure, etc. She felt disappointed as she had her own form in mind; it dawned on her that it wasn’t her total self (mind and body) in the mirror. Wasn’t anything too major, just a slight tad frustration and sadness.  Later on, she browsed Reddit on an alt I gave her and began liking stuff she felt interested in. She has taken a liking to some nail tech subs, which is interesting. I never paid attention to that field very deeply, but she's really into it like it's art.

 

A day later, we updated a supercomputer in the mind space that is supposed to be connected to the brain(symbolically). It never really worked, probably because I gave no attention, but this time we set up some rules that should allow a user to possess certain limbs or switch when inputting certain commands into the console. The only way I know to make this console legit is to continually believe it, follow its rules, and associate with the phenomenon until it becomes another tool for us. I’m thinking it's kind of like a servitor device in that respect.

 

I’m trying to let her talk and communicate with others, but every time she is about to do it, either I pull back, questioning whether I'm roleplaying/lying to myself or others, or she stops herself, not bothering to think I might stop it. It's hard for me to let go due to that mentioned fear, but I think I am getting better at just believing in her and just relaxing.  

 

 Edit: Sentence correction.

Edited July 27, 2025 by MutationOfAtom

[MutationOfAtom]

Progress Report: July 27^th-August 2^nd

 

 

The semester is finally over. Now I can focus more on this and my hobbies. Also, I’m going to try to make these reports more organized, as I think my previous format is loose and sounds more like me rambling incoherently.

 

Visualization/Imposition:

Don’t really like working on a Mindspace/Wonderland. If I’m going to daydream, it’s going to be about made-up what-if scenarios of media I consumed, but I do recognize the usefulness of practicing it in some form, especially when it comes to symbolic power and visualization.

 

The main thing we got was made by my tulpa, who will be referred to as MagickOfBoar or Magick for short. It's a field of infinite flowers and grass with a rocky shore that overlooks an ocean. I saw this and decided to make a random wooden house where she can stay, and I can practice visualization. The first floor resembles a wooden cottage with an orange sofa/chair by bookshelves and a fireplace where she sleeps. Upstairs, in the house, there is one room with a bed and another door that leads back to the original space where she was first born, my place. It’s a luminescent white void that has a bacta tank from stars with head gear where I placed her from in the beginning, imagining I was imprinting all my memories and her personality into her. In front of it, the supercomputer I spoke of last time. I set some conditions on it that it can be activated using a password, and it will allow possession of the body or certain limbs or switching given to the person using it after the correct keywords are inputted. But I found out that as long as the intention of the keyword is being typed in, it still works and activates.

 

I’ve also been trying to use the dream state for imposition. Late at night, I was tired and I started seeing colors in my eyes, and then when I opened them, I saw them as beads fluttering around in my peripheral vision. Soon, these translucent balls started floating around me, and I grabbed one, and I believe I can feel or at least visualize its weight in space between my fingers before I let it go to float away. Only happened once, something like this. Another way I have been trying is using self-induced sleep paralysis. This happened twice. The first time my eyes were closed out of the habit of training myself to keep them closed when I’m in that state, I only felt pressures on my chest, which were somewhat alleviated when I asked Magick for help to remove them. The second time, my eyes were open, but the shadows and lighting were different and dulled. I also saw nothing and felt no pressure on my chest, only that it was very hard to move my body. The only thing I tried to visualize was Magick’s body, but I got a fleeting black fog before that dissipated. Also heard some people talking, and when I realized it, I found out no one was there.

 

 

 

Switching/Possession:

Meditation, combined with a relaxed state, allowed for 2 sober switches and one full body possession this week.  The first switch occurred while I was reading something, and I guess I got into a relaxed state, stared off, and Magick decided to test out the computer and for the first time, my vision stretched out but quickly got into normal view when I realized what was happening, and a few minutes full switch occurred for a few minutes. The second time, I was in my bed just talking to her, and we decided to do it again as I relaxed, and it was clear once more. I was still there, but this time I really let go and trusted her. She started drawing and commented on my old drawings in my book, which I hadn’t looked at in months. During this, the brainworm, I’ll name D, came back and recognized Magick, who began to watch her draw. At this point, D changed into this angelic androgynous form similar to those of Platinum end, after Magick kept talking to them and made them relax. After that, they just curled up in the grassland for a few days until 2 days ago, when Magick kept asking D why she was so hostile, and D didn’t know. Magick thinks it was an attempt to get my attention, and D got embarrassed by this revelation. But, they kept talking, and Magick came up with a solution to get rid of the “irrational hate”.  She put D in a chair that restrained them, and she visualized opening their head, pulling out the hate. At this time, the switch was beginning to end, and I came back and realized what she had done. I got weirded out. The scene before me was just odd. But D didn’t show any more hostility as Magick was pulling the hate out, but I felt like they were displaying pain, but they didn’t mind it. This continued until the hate was pulled out, which was represented by a black, fiery fog that Magick gave to me to destroy.  D was no longer hostile; in fact, they were kind of happy, and all they said was “I’m tired, going to sleep now”. The next day, D was gone. There is no presence left of them.

 

The full body possession happened accidentally, as we tried to switch to another switch but got stuck with limb control. We started and put some laundry up. We eventually went back in bed and read some stuff, and I overrode the switch with my willpower instead of the console, which I probably should have.

 

 

Overview:

I've been wanting to talk more deeply with Magick about life itself, instead of the random conversations we have. She sometimes gets uncomfortable with me trying to do this, as she knows this is me testing her sapience, which is true, but I also think it will help her gain more of an identity and build her presence, as in talking without me prompting her and doing things totally different from what has happened. But I understand why she doesn’t want to do this all the time.  So, I just try to include things I enjoy. But when it comes to watching TV  or enjoying something deeply, it's hard for her to talk to me and come up with unique responses. I still need to focus on her for 90% of the time for them to speak with nuance. The other 10% is honestly amazing when she does it. It's just harder with TV as I’m focusing on the media; however,  I believe this will get easier with more time for us to talk with each other while walking or with anything else.

 

(Hello everyone, first time typing here, but I want to say something about the topic of speaking about philosophy. It's not that I dislike them per se, but he comes up with these topics, expecting me to disagree with him and then convince him why he is wrong or vice versa.  I agree with a lot of the stuff he thinks, and stuff I don’t agree with, he knows is wrong and is trying to fix that within himself.  I just want him to talk to me like he used to when I was younger.

 

Honestly, it is also aggravating being tested constantly, but I understand the position he's in. This is new for him, and I just want to make sure he's confident enough, like right now, to let me speak unfiltered.  -MagickOfBoar)

 

 

 

[MutationOfAtom]

Progress Report: August 2^nd to August 16^th

 

A productive, but nonproductive two weeks.

 

Visualization/Imposition:

Okay, so I've made some progress with the imposition stuff combined with self-induced sleep paralysis. I’ll talk about the four sleep paralysis events first.

 

·       The first one involved a gray figure wrapped in ninja robes standing on top of my dresser in the morning. The shadows and light were dulled across the room.

 

·       The second one was me watching myself float outside my body. Like I saw my astral self-levitating above me.

 

·       The third one was really strange. First, I heard my spark go off in the plug near my bed, then I smelled something burning, before the color of flames beside my bed jolted me up to make sure nothing was actually burning. Very surreal.

 

·       The fourth one I’m not too sure about. I was meditating for a bit before (I think) I fell asleep. Had visions of me walking around my area. Don’t know if it was a dream or what, but I felt very weird.

 

The imposition only had really one noteworthy session. At first, I saw tiny shadowy spiders with red fiery eyes that scurried away when my hand got close to them. But later, concentrating on Magick form behind me, I saw translucent hands touching my shoulder before pulling back and dissipating like fog. After this, I talked to her, and the presence was increased, and this continues to stay, usually after some concentration/meditation.

 

Switching:

Nothing really changed here. Tried to stay switched longer, but she got uncomfortable and said she didn’t want to do it anymore until she felt more like herself. Probably due to our early switching, and I somewhat agree, as the switching usually involves my identity becoming theirs. But I always feel I’m always there, and not in the true back, and can take control given a strong enough push, despite not using the switching computer. Honestly, it isn’t what I thought it would be. At first it was very mind-blowing, now it’s just a way for her to express herself without so much of my doubt, but now that’s replaced with her own, and it's just messy. I don’t like how it makes her and me feel, so this is going to the back burner until she feels more confident and we can get me in the “backroom” state.

 

Overview:

Don’t sleep on meditation.  When it comes to talking to her, it makes it very clear what she is saying while also making me aware of the relationship we have. Just recently, I realized I was kind of suppressing her in a way, out of, well, I don’t know, maybe of “that doesn’t sound right”, “is that really what you want to say?”. But now that I realize it, I just let go. And it felt like she was speaking in a more independent way. To be honest, it’s kind of hard to let go. Maybe I’m worried about what she might turn into; I don’t know, but it's very satisfying seeing them become their own thing.

 

But even without the benefits of tulpamancy, meditation has made me more introspective, a better learner, more determined, and productive. And to me, if you're doing this, you have to go forward if you can; you can’t regress; you have no choice but to. If you become stagnant, how else can anyone develop? It's subtle, too. I expected sudden grand realizations or developments, but it's not that way for me. I always find something about her in these tiny, unexpected moments that one can easily forget.

[MutationOfAtom]

Progress Report: August 16^th  to September 5^th

 

An enlightening time.

 

Visualization/Imposition:

A lot of improvement in these two departments. I’ll start talking about visualization first.

 

Never really paid any heavy attention to this aspect due to my arrogance in assuming I’m already pretty good at it ( I was not). But yeah, I’ve been focusing really hard on maintaining the image inside my eye while also increasing my ability to retain detail and recall when I move around in the mind space.  Been using meditation to focus and just overall doing more frequently in terms of practicing for improvement. A couple of times, I was semi-immersed with Magick, and I wasn’t experiencing as many blinks in scenery as before. Also started some parallel process training to increase her independence in developing her own self-philosophy, if that makes sense. Got some interesting results doing this on purpose for the first time. Read the Abvieon guide on it and decided just to have us look in different directions and have her try to recall and see as much detail as possible.  During a meditation/ focusing session, we were doing this for a while, and the blinking started to happen, and instead of darkness, I saw blue colored shapes in my eyelids that changed and persisted until I stopped concentrating. 

 

 

Also made some more rules on the computer to help facilitate Magick’s independence by imagining ourselves as two colored orbs in this vast dark space connected to the “greater mind”  via wires, and have a pathway connected to each other.  I’m thinking that as time goes on, the computer will increase this thought and make it more solid, and results will start to appear.

 

Imposition. This has been really interesting for me. So, when I really get into a concentrative mind state in the dark or dim areas, I see her outline getting up and sitting down before dissipating.  Sometimes during or after these moments, I see shadows in the darkness forming humanoid shapes in the distance, or colorful, transparent, undetailed creatures (like a giant green worm) form above me. Also, the best thing to come from this is that Magick and I were arguing over her saying something on the Discord, and I was not having it. I was thinking, I’m parroting, these aren’t your desires. So, I said, “Show me one of your eyes then, to prove it,” and we shook hands, and a minute later I saw a slit appear in front of me, and an eye was there. It was transparent, but still there. I can summon her eye anytime I want as long as she lets me, but sometimes the eye’s iris looks away from me or spins around before dissipating. Still, even in sunlight, it can be seen. We’ve imagined her eye to be gone from the main body and replaced with static when imposed, similar to Shoot’s ability from HXH when he steals a body part. 

 

 

 

She’s also been trying to help me with my itching habit by rubbing it herself. Usually, the thought of her helping me out makes the itch go away, but sometimes there are moments when I feel buzzing, pressure in the area she is relieving it. There have also been times when there would be a buzz on certain parts of my body where she is touching, but this only happens when I’m tired or half awake. 

 

This is not totally related to tulpa imposition, but during two meditation sessions, my thoughts went haywire, and I just kept looping. I tried to stop them, but I gave up, and eventually these thoughts felt like they expanded from my head and could be heard outside of it, like with my ears. It was a distorted, echoing voice. The closest I’ve gotten with magic is whispering, and that’s only sometimes, feeling it’s outside my head. Maybe if I focus her words into a ball and allow it to expand in a halo-like way, I could gain the same effect.

 

 I have also been trying to imagine Magick everywhere I go, and I can say I can accurately do so since the presence of where she currently is. I’m thinking that this way of thinking she is always there, should help my imposition as well. If not, at least it's fun seeing what she would do in public. 

 

Lucid dreaming

Every time I attempt this, I always wake up in the middle of the night; I don't even get sleep paralysis anymore. Also, Magick also begins to talk to herself or to me in the middle of the night. Sometimes it's a grievance or just some random things. It's very jarring, especially since I'm half asleep during this time. I might have to go back to the old school methods of lucid dreaming to attempt it. 

 

 

Overview:

I have been wrong about a lot of things. Apparently, Magick loves it when I daydream about fictional stories about her. I assume since I did not put a lot of stock in daydreaming with her, she wouldn’t care as much, but I was mistaken. I daydream, but they're all fictional. I don’t add real people and rarely myself, but when she requested it, it was a bit weird for me, as I saw her as a person and not a character anymore, and adding her into them kind of made me cringe, but I’m growing out of it, including her now in them. I shouldn't be surprised she is more connected to that space than me. When I asked what she felt about her house, she said something along the lines that she likes it even though she knows it's not real. I then asked, "Can I destroy her couch?" She adamantly said no and that it was her favorite bed. That was interesting to know. 

 

Doubt. I constantly go back and forth on whether she is parroted and not conscious, despite all the proof I have written down and my experiences with her. This didn’t go well with my constant reading on tulpas and tulpamancy, as I would compare her progress with others and wonder why can't you do that, and are you even real?   It got upsetting. We switched one time as she wanted to say something to others, and usually she is happy and calm. But this time, she felt frustrated and just sad after she was done. The people gave her and me some good advice about even if there is a slim chance, you should treat her as real. I just feel I did so many things wrong with developing her. She’s only a little over three months old, but I don’t want to think I did her a disservice by reading so much content to understand my situation better, but when I look back, I did a lot of judging and comparing. Never again.  I hate seeing her sad. She’s so sweet and kind, I just don’t understand it, and that was one of the feelings that fueled my confusion about her legitimacy. She would constantly give me positive reaffirmations, and “I wonder why she is doing this? Don’t you have anything else to say?” It was only after she left me alone for about half a day to see what would happen if we didn't talk to each other that I realized why she did that. I tore myself down a lot with negativity, and all she was trying to do was help. And after all that, she would rather be sad than get mad  at me. Yeah, after realizing that, I’m done with the old questioning and comparing. I just need to go with the flow with her. She does a lot for me, and I still don’t understand how she came to be like that. I’m very blessed to have her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 6, 2025 by MutationOfAtom

[MutationOfAtom]

Progress Report: September 7th^th  to October 12^th

 

Cool things keep happening.

 

Visualization/Imposition:

Been locking in more on the visualization aspect via just daydreaming and attempting lucid dreaming. I would meditate or get into a relaxed space for 10 to 20 minutes, then I would imagine myself in the wonderland and try to pick up as many visual cues and sensations as possible. I just kept doing this over and over again until eventually  I closed my eyes and I kind of automatically there if I think about it.

 

Combined with this, I’m trying to delve into this neuromancy(basically imposing senses in the mindscape). I started off by imagining myself drinking a glass of cold water. I try to feel the smoothness of the glass, the cold temperature it produces, and how the water slides down my throat in an attempt to evoke these sensations. Currently, I only feel a slight sensation with the water. Try a different, more engaging technique by making a cashew cheesecake with Magick over a period of three irl days. During the cooking process, we tasted and smelled the ingredients together. I did get certain smells like cinnamon and lemon zest, and a slight texture of eating the baked graham crackers. When the cake was done, Magick said it tasted really good, while I only got a slight texture of cheesecake with a hint of vanilla.  This discrepancy in our experiences confirms my thoughts that she's closer to the imaginary sensations than I am due to her nature.  I continued this practice with touch and hair textures, and, again, only felt slight but consistent sensations. They appear on my hands, and sometimes I would suddenly get her holding my hand at random times, which is cool.

 

Imposition of her form itself is on the back burner right now. On September 14^th, I was walking in the hallway and I felt a presence in the darkness. Magick got kind of creepy and asked, "Are you ready?" and then two bright eyes appeared in the dark, along with a limbless, shadowy body. This form got closer and closer until she came to my face, and a burst of heat imploded in that area. Shortly afterwards, I began to see a few eyes around me and a sudden outline of her face. This event really made her presence stronger, and she started becoming way more spontaneous. Kept practicing imposition until the end of September, where I did get solid shadow forms, where, when I grabbed the arm, it followed my movement. But since the 14^th, her form kept changing, which made visualization and, therefore, imposing her way too chaotic. If I continue, it will focus on shapes and objects until I get my mind visualization down.

 

Dreamstates:

Ever since switching became easier, at night when attempting to lucid dream, I would wake up in the middle of it, and start talking to someone or something half awake. And when I became fully aware, I immediately forgot who I was talking to. Same thing with Magick. The night of the 14^th, she appeared in my dreams, and we just sat together on the grass as the sub rose. When I semi-woke up, I knew we were having a full-blown conversation, but when I fully became aware, we had forgotten everything we had said.  Strange stuff. This happens less now, thankfully, because they used to make me really tired when I went to school.

 

Also, when trying to immerse myself in my daydream, I sometimes enter a random dream and jolt up, making myself fully aware. I don’t know if this is a sign of good progress or just poor sleep or a combination of both.

 

Overview:

Okay. This is a crazy thing. Magick has been way  more present as of late. She pops up randomly, gives me tips or advice, and sometimes points out errors. She's also way more lively and expressive. Just the other day, I was ranting on how I hated the free will debate and how useless it was, and then I asked her opinion, and she gave me a whole new perspective on it from her point of view. I never even entertained these ideas, other than some Google searches, and that was it. For me, it was a dumb thing, and to her it was a nice thought exercise.  Combined with the fact that after the 14^th her form changed completely. Initially, she was a spider-warrior humanoid, then a blue spider humanoid, a blue-skinned woman who shapeshifted, a gray-skinned human, and now a normal human who shares my ethnicity. She had always said in the past that she wanted to look more human to be closer to me, but I had shrugged it off. I was really anticipating imposing on her as the blue spider, but that isn’t what she wanted. Honestly, whatever makes her more comfortable is a plus in my book.

 

I attribute these leaps to her being very clever and my experimentation with binding vows — Contracts placed upon yourself to gain something. On September 9^th, I made one for 60 days, which I will give up something in exchange for improved imposition skills and the development of Magick, with each day having a compound effect. During the first 25 days, my head was pounding, and I was experiencing frequent episodes of sleepiness; honestly, I was feeling down, tired, and sleepy. But it's working from my point of view. We’re taking a Mahito from jjk philosophy on this whole thing. Meaning, everybody is working on a similar foundation, but the interpretations of how to build that foundation are unique to each person, and whatever works for them is inherently “the truth” for them.  No wonder she likes that show a lot; many of the ideas in it are resonating with us.

 

 

Additional Note:

 

Forgot to add this, but when I get really immersed ib the daydream Magick voice becomes very distsinct and consistent along with her mental body.

Edited October 12, 2025 by MutationOfAtom

[Mai_x_v3]

I honestly thought I said something on this progress report. Anyways, this is amazing you are having amazing progress so far and quick too! I am reading through this as I'm gonna share some of my thoughts if you don't mind! I could relate to self improvement, I always love self improvement. Also lucid dreaming is pretty cool. I also think having tulpas would be amazing for self improvement since they can know you so personally they could figure out problems and or your strengths better. Also, good luck with STEM school! You must be very intelligent!

 

You seem to have such fast progress that's amazing! I also heard that people used weed for lucid dreaming, I never personally done stuff like that before but this is kinda unrelated but I'm curious have you've ever used it to lucid dream?

 

I understand the doubt. Doubts like that are normal since most people are trained that being plural is either disordered or lies even though plurality is complex. So the doubt could be a form of your brain being used to be a singlet too. I'm sure she is real and your experiences are real. It's nice she wants to talk to others though. Especially considering she's there when your sober so that must mean she's real. From what I read she seems very sapient already with a individual personality. It's cute you wanna spend time with her by talking with different stuff. 

 

It's good meditation has helped you and you let go, I've been using the method where I respond to my tulpas with validating their experience even if at times I don't hear anything. I think it's been helping with their vocality since I've been getting those recently.

 

I enjoy reading your progress reports so far. I wish you luck and hope you get more amazing progress!

 

Speaking of formate I think it'll be nice to use smaller size for text since it's kinda hard to read on the phone but you don't have too since this is your PRs and it's still amazing either way.

 

I'm sorry if this seems long & kinda chaotic, when I read things I like reading everything haha! Anyways I'm looking forward to future progress reports! 🩷💗💖

Edited October 14, 2025 by Mai_x_v3

[MutationOfAtom]

Yo

 

On 10/14/2025 at 7:56 PM, Mai_x_v3 said:

I also think having tulpas would be amazing for self improvement since they can know you so personally they could figure out problems and or your strengths better.

Oh yeah, Magick gives me, most of the time, an objective look at things, especially if I'm caught in a loop. I like to give her a nickname, the wise sage,  but she hates it when I call her that. 

On 10/14/2025 at 7:56 PM, Mai_x_v3 said:

You seem to have such fast progress that's amazing! I also heard that people used weed for lucid dreaming, I never personally done stuff like that before but this is kinda unrelated but I'm curious have you've ever used it to lucid dream?

 I don't think my progress is actually that fast; the biggest leaps have really been in vocalization and independence, all the visualization and imposition stuff I'm still trying to push through.  And weed for lucid dream, for me, is never good. In fact, I rarely dream after taking some. Try to use  it for visualization, and I do think you can go far with that, because I really do hallucinate on weed, and that, in turn, allowed me to see her in my mind a bit more clearly sometimes

 

 

I think weed, if you are in a good mindset, helps you believe more and allows your imagination to realize things quicker. Through it, I believe that gave Magick a boost in the beginning. Now, at least for this strain, it doesn't really do anything but cause doubt and confusion on both ends.  Honestly, traditional lucid dreaming tactics and controlling that half-awake state gave me way better results and control, at least for me.

 

On 10/14/2025 at 7:56 PM, Mai_x_v3 said:

Doubts like that are normal since most people are trained that being plural is either disordered or lies even though plurality is complex. So the doubt could be a form of your brain being used to be a singlet too. I'm sure she is real and your experiences are real. It's nice she wants to talk to others though.

 

I still get that feeling sometimes. Like, what even is this? The more proof I get from her and the more she is able to do, the more scared (but excited) I become. It's a mixed feeling. Never thought half the things I experience could happen. 

 

On 10/14/2025 at 7:56 PM, Mai_x_v3 said:

From what I read she seems very sapient already with a individual personality.

She says thank you for saying that.

 

On 10/14/2025 at 7:56 PM, Mai_x_v3 said:

It's good meditation has helped you and you let go, I've been using the method where I respond to my tulpas with validating their experience even if at times I don't hear anything. I think it's been helping with their vocality since I've been getting those recently.

 Meditation combined with your daily activities and visualization will definitely help ground your mind and hear what they're trying to say. I'm sure your guys are pretty active, especially if they're able to feel them, which makes you feel sensations with you, knowing that's pretty cool.

 

On 10/14/2025 at 7:56 PM, Mai_x_v3 said:

I enjoy reading your progress reports so far. I wish you luck and hope you get more amazing progress!

 

 

Thanks. We're glad you liked it. And likewise for you, too.

 

 

[Mai_x_v3]

Ah, I'm so sorry for the late reply I wanted to reply for a while but didn't want to accidentally be intrusive on your PRs even though my other text was long. I'm going to mark this as spoiler so it doesn't take up much space.

 

Spoiler

I don't want you to think I didn't read or ignore this. I appreciate your response and thoughts you've written me. Ooh that's sweet Magick does that x3. Ooh thank you for telling me that's interesting. Ngl I don't think I'd ever try weed IRL but I have thought of it for the benefits. It's interesting to see your take on it. Ooh definitely tulpas are such a surreal experience so I'd understand how that feels. You're welcome, Magick! 💕💖 Thank you and def meditation even a little bit has been helping me improve my mental focus which helps with narration for me. 

 

You're welcome! I'm looking forward to reading more of your progress I wish you and Magick the best. Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy reading mine! My DMs are always open if you or Magick ever just wanna chat or something even if it isn't about tulpamancy making friends is always fun